I just love Hot Rod. Maybe I'll corral a plot bunny or two and do a Roddy fic... til then, this is whatcha get :) Just to be rebellious, I'm making Sideswipe a red Lamborghini like he SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Hss.
Hot Rod left Sideswipe's quarters quietly. In another time or place he might have stayed, but not here. Aside from the possibility of someone walking in on them, the berth was simply too small. Bravura had barely fit on his, and she'd had no qualms about lying half on top of him and getting squished occasionally.
She was upset right now, and he knew he was the reason. She tried hard not to be angry with him, but she couldn't help it. He knew exactly what she was going through, and he would've stopped… But when Sideswipe came to him, said all the right things, made him feel understood, he just couldn't help it.
Frankly, after Bravura left he'd felt ostracized. Mirage had been furious, had actually blamed him for running her off.
"You're her twin! You're supposed to know what's going on in her head!"
"I know what she's feeling, you glitch! It's not the same thing! She seemed happy!"
"Then why did she run away? What did you do?"
"I did my best, ok?"
"Well she's gone now. She's all alone, and she doesn't have any clue what she's doing."
Hot Rod had nothing to say to that. Mirage was right; she was essentially walking into a deathtrap.
Mirage had seethed for a while, then continued more calmly. "I thought you were alright. I thought you'd turned around since the last time I saw you. I was wrong. You're more irresponsible than ever."
That had been quite enough. "Oh, insults coming from the mech who treats everyone like dirt! You think you're so much better than the rest of us, like you're different from us!"
"I've changed, Hot Rod. I grew up. You haven't."
"I think the only reason you ever liked Bravura is because she was rich like you were once. You still hate us for what we are, don't you?"
Mirage had looked close to pushing him, but Prowl had appeared around the corner, pinning them both with a warning stare. Mirage had backed off and walked away, his usual elegance ruined by his stiff posture.
Sideswipe understood, though. He'd found out about Bravura from someone, and he'd come to Hot Rod one night on the Upper Deck.
Sideswipe sat down next to Hot Rod. The smaller mech had looked over in surprise, then jerked his gaze away quickly. Sideswipe had intimidated him ever since his arrival.
"I know what you're going through," the Lamborghini had said quietly. "I had to leave Sunstreaker behind, or he'd be here with me. It's hard being separated."
"At least you know Sunstreaker can take care of himself," Hot Rod had grumbled.
"True. She's survived this long, she's probably going to be fine. Has she reached a populated sector yet?"
"Yes, for a while now. She's out of the emotionless… funk she was in. She scared me a lot, when she was alone… I'd forget about her, because she'd just feel whatever I was feeling. It was almost kind of creepy. But she's hopeful now."
"You can't keep worrying about her. It's out of your control."
Hot Rod had looked at the other red mech skeptically. "Why do you think I'm worried?"
"Because you avoid everyone. Because I see you alone like this all the time. You work extra shifts to try to keep from thinking about her. Everything reminds you of her, doesn't it?"
Hot Rod had been unnerved. "You've been watching me?"
Sideswipe had actually seemed a little embarrassed for a moment. "Well… it isn't every day you find someone who knows what it's like, having part of your spark halfway across the galaxy. Yeah, I guess I was watching you a little."
Hot Rod looked away quickly, out at the small slice of stars they could see from the wide glass wall.
"If you ever… I don't know, need somebody to talk to," Sideswipe began quietly, reached up and put his hand on Hot Rod's shoulder. "You can talk to me about it."
Hot Rod had looked down at the large hand, then up at Sideswipe. "Thanks," he'd said noncommittally.
Sideswipe had watched him, optics searching for something, then gotten up and left.
It hadn't taken long for Hot Rod to break down and go knocking at the twin's quarters. It'd taken even less time for their talks to evolve into something else.
Hot Rod didn't love Sideswipe. No, Hot Rod didn't have much of a thing for other mechs, but… this mech knew what he needed, and so they took advantage of their mutual loneliness.
The one thing Hot Rod didn't like about their understanding was making the walk of shame. Sideswipe always took them to his room, so the Vanquish was always the one who had to get up and go. It made him feel trashy, but it was so worth it at the time…
To think, he'd never have thought he needed it if he'd only had Bravura with him. She stabilized him, gave him an anchor… He would've given anything to spend just one night recharging with her, to feel their sparks synchronize as she snuggled against him. She was so peaceful when they were together. He was at peace with her.
What if her running away really was his fault?
Sideswipe said it wasn't; Sunstreaker was miserable more often than not, and no matter what he tried to do for the vain mech, he always slid back into negativity.
Hot Rod didn't like to think that Bravura might become the sad and angry one in their dynamic… She'd been happy once. He knew. He'd seen every human memory she'd ever made.
But she wasn't really human anymore, and that was enough to change anyone. He wondered at their bond sometimes… Sides said he'd never jumped into Sunstreaker's body, or vice versa, even though they'd both had multiple near death experiences.
Maybe he and his sister weren't true spark twins, but something similar. Sparks twins were supposed to be a single spark, split into two at the beginning… Bravura's spark had split from his, but it had happened later in a remarkable, wonderful accident.
Unnatural twins… He'd thought of themselves that way often before she'd even left, but she was so self-conscious about her imperfect spark that he'd been afraid to fan the flames by mentioning the idea to her.
He'd really thought she'd turned around after Bumblebee came. He'd believed that she'd developed an infatuation with the yellow mech, that her knew vigor and desire to learn and her happiness was a result of falling for Bee…
The thought of her and Bee had made him happy in a reluctant sort of way. He'd already come to terms with her choice in Skywarp, with the impossibility of the kind of relationship he'd wanted to have with her… But Bumblebee was so much better than Skywarp. The yellow mech was stuffy, obedient, military born and raised, but still better than a Decepticon. He was sweet, considerate, and caring, too.
Poor thing. She'd finally gotten out of her latest mess, as far as he could tell. The burst of relief she'd felt after a long period of imperfect contentment and even a little thrill made him believe she was back with whomever she'd taken up with from the start.
Probably the mech she'd been so guilty about interfacing with.
She loved him, whoever he was, but she didn't seem to realize it. Maybe not the intense and blind love she felt for Skywarp, but it was there, and he could only call it some sort of love.
She had hated the mysterious mech too, ever since the interface. She needed that mech, or she seemed to think she did… Apparently so much that she couldn't leave him. But every time Sideswipe lured Hot Rod back to his quarters, that hatred grew by the faintest of measures.
Hot Rod went to the Upper Deck, the one place in the base he felt like he could think clearly. Bravura had spent plenty of time up there with him, and sometimes Mirage would join them.
Before she ran away and after the two mechs had learned to trust each other, the three of them had made a good trio. She glued them together, and somehow he'd begun to think of the Elite as a friend.
That had changed when she ran away, of course. The accusation in every glare the Lexus shot him… Hot Rod didn't blame Mirage, but he knew he couldn't blame himself, either. It wasn't his fault…
Arcee, all three of her, was already there when he reached the top of the long stairs.
It hurt his spark to look at her. He'd known her before, back when he'd been under Kup's guardianship. She'd been a single, whole femme then. He'd thought she was beautiful, and she'd always had a soft spot for him, but now…
The blue tripartite looked back at him, while the other two continued to gaze out at the stars. He tended to address the blue one more than the others, mainly because her paintjob and size reminded him of Bravura.
"You ok?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah. Just thinking too much."
Hot Rod went and sat a few feet from the tiny blue femme, avoiding looking at her.
She was a little confusing to him. She was one person, but she had three bodies. She was a femme, and she wasn't. The horrible accident that had blown her into pieces, blown her spark to pieces, had disfigured her in much the same way Bravura's spark was disfigured.
She shouldn't be alive. He knew Arcee resented her existence now, but she hid it so well that it was easy to forget. She lived to take her revenge on Starscream and the rest of Decepticons…
Starscream wasn't really the main concern anymore, however. Megatron was alive again, and he was 'out for blood' as the humans said. The number of Decepticons on the planet was staggering, and they were outnumbering the Autobots.
In light of everything that had happened in the last few months, Hot Rod was almost glad Bravura had run away. Almost.
Optimus was doing his best to control the energy raids, the political attacks… Megatron had gone after the President of the United States in an attempt to get Optimus to surrender. They'd gotten the President back, but not without more than a few human casualties and the near loss of Ironhide.
"Arcee," Hot Rod said softly. "I… I have a question."
"Shoot."
He'd told Arcee about the interfacing in a freak burst of weakness, on a night much like this one, and had soon come to see her as a sort of confidante.
"Do you think I should stop interfacing with Sideswipe?"
All three Arcees turned their heads to look at him. "Are you having second thoughts?"
"Yes and no. It… doesn't bother me that much, really, but I hate doing it to Bravura. She's miserable all of the time because of me."
All but the blue Arcee looked away. "It's not about Bravura, is it?"
Hot Rod groaned and leaned over on his knees, propping up his chin on his arms. "I guess… I don't know! Sideswipe is just so… insensitive sometimes! He'll go from this thoughtful caring mech to cold and quiet."
"Right after interfacing?"
"Yeah."
All three Arcees hissed pityingly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's using you."
Hot Rod lifted his head and glared at her. "It's not like that."
"Ok, don't believe me. But I've been there."
Hot Rod rested his head again. "What happened?"
"I just put up with it for a long time, until I met Springer. Things were a lot better after that."
"I liked that guy."
"Me too. I miss him…" The blue Arcee looked away, out at the stars again.
"Maybe he'll come here someday."
She shrugged and changed the subject. "As far as Sideswipe goes… If it's true that he's not just using you, it might be because of how he grew up. His mother had to hide, carried her twins alone and died. They grew up with the Autobots just as things were getting really bad, so he never had a chance at normal relationships. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do, even though he means well."
"Bumblebee grew up in the army and he's just fine."
"Bumblebee grew up with Optimus and his chief officers. They have a much more balanced dynamic than most, in case you didn't notice."
She had a good point. The twins had been born into the war, something Hot Rod hadn't believed possible after the femme extermination.
In the last two hundred years or so rumors had started cropping up about femmes living as slaves and collectibles… Nobody put much faith in them, but if Arcee had managed to survive, maybe others had too.
Then again, if getting blown into three pieces didn't kill Arcee… maybe she wasn't exactly comparable to your average femme.
Bravura would like Arcee. If she'd only stayed six more months, she would've met her, and maybe having another femme to talk to would have helped his sister get over Skywarp. Arcee would've liked Bravura back, because the much younger femme would understand about losing an old life and living with a strange spark.
When Hot Rod didn't say anything for a while, Arcee spoke up again. "If it feels right, stay with Sideswipe. If it makes you feel bad afterwards, if it only makes things worse, then stop."
Hot Rod stared into the distance, not seeing anything. This was why talking to someone other than Sideswipe didn't always turn out so well. Aside from the seeming coldness of the other mech after interfacing the Vanquish really enjoyed the friendship he'd developed with Sides, but he couldn't help but feel guilty for Bravura. She had nobody to let out her frustrations on.
"If I stay with him, should we have a brother bond?" Hot Rod asked finally. "He mentioned it once, a few days ago."
All three Arcees looked at him. "Really?" they all asked, surprised. "That's a big step."
"I know. He wasn't serious, at least I don't think he was… Frag it all, I don't know, Arcee!"
To his surprise, the blue Arcee got up and rolled over to him, putting her hand on his leg. "You'll do what you feel is right, Hot Rod. You're a sweet kid, even if you don't always look before you leap. You've grown up a little, though, and that's saying something."
Hot Rod sighed and smiled weakly at the little tripartite. "Thanks, Arcee. For everything. I'm going to recharge, not much time left before the big mission."
She smiled and waved a little, going back to sit with her other two bodies.
As he walked down the stairs, Hot Rod didn't feel much better, but at least he didn't feel like a total jerk anymore. At least Arcee cared even if she didn't understand.
To his shock, Sideswipe was waiting outside his quarters.
"Sides?" Hot Rod said, turning the name into a question.
"Hot Rod."
"Did you forget something?" Hot Rod asked as he palmed the glowing pad next to his door.
"Yes, I did."
"What is-"
Hot Rod didn't get to finish what he was saying, because Sideswipe's lips cut him off as they pressed against his.
The initial surprise faded into delight and he kissed back slightly, letting the other red mech push him backwards into his quarters and towards his berth.
"What are you doing?" Hot Rod managed to squeeze out around the mech's lips.
"What do you think I'm doing?" The Lamborghini asked playfully as he pushed Hot Rod down onto his berth.
"But we just- we have a mission tomorrow! Aren't you tired? Nnngh!"
Sideswipe ducked his head low and licked along a seam, erasing Hot Rod's protest.
Bravura was spitting mad now. He could practically hear her. Again? Again?!
Sideswipe saw the momentary distraction in Hot Rod's optics and chuckled. "You should get a load of Sunny. He'd tear my head off if he could get a hold of me."
"But… you came to my quarters." Hot Rod couldn't quite get over the sudden change in character.
"Well… I was watching you, when you got up. You always look so miserable walking away, I guess I figure I owe it to you. So quit talking and show me what you've got," Sideswipe said smoothly as he ran a hand across Hot Rod's stomach.
Hot Rod couldn't help it, no matter how angry it made Bravura. Who could possibly resist this?
*purrs* Yes, I shall definitely do a Roddy fic some day...
