Chapter XI part one – Anchorage

Santana opened her apartment's front door, switching the lights on as she walked in. She closed her eyes, leaning against the door. She breathed in deeply and re-opened her mocha brown eyes. Santana took off her expensive high black heels and tiptoed into the living room. Her apartment was huge. The kitchen and the living room were connected to each other. She liked to have the space to walk around. She threw the purse, the keys and the phone on the small table in front of the couch and she sat down with her legs crossed.

Santana massaged her temples. She was worn out. Since they docked Sue Sylvester had given her so much work to do that she hadn't even had time to think. Which wasn't a bad thing now that she thought about it.

She had never thought it would be so difficult to go back to her normal life. Her routine. Because this was her life. No doubt about it.

She needed time. She needed to stop getting irritated with everything around her. Because nothing felt like it did. It was like everything was moving too fast. The others were talking too fast; they were walking too fast and breathing too fast.

She stood up, annoyed at herself and at her thoughts. She walked towards her room, took off her jacket and started to unbutton her shirt. She put on a comfy pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and then went to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

She opened the fridge to see if there was something to cook but gave up immediately.

The journalist looked at the phone, unsure whether to order something in or not. She shook her head and sighed. She wasn't hungry anymore. Her stomach was in knots.

She picked up an apple and took a bite because despite everything she needed to eat something.

Santana sighed and started to walk around the apartment. She just needed time. Time.

She threw the remnants of the apple away and looked at the TV. Once again, she shook her head and decided to walk out onto the huge balcony.

Finally, she smiled. Santana had always loved the view from her apartment. She sighed letting herself relax, looking down at the city. Her home. The lights that illuminated 24/7 the Big Apple and the traffic that she was used to hearing. Had it always been so loud?

She tried to relax and closed her eyes.

She saw a beautiful white beach colored by a vivid red sunset. The sun was diving into the ocean.

When you go back to New York, you'll look out of the window, close your eyes and imagine all of this.

Brittany's soft voice echoed in her head. Santana opened her eyes quickly. Her heart was beating so fast. She massaged her forehead.

Time. She just needed time.

What she had experienced wasn't even real. It had been only a fragment of the situation.

She bit her lip thinking about Brittany's last words. She had told her she loved her.

She shook her head. It wasn't real. It couldn't be. And probably Brittany was feeling the same. It was just an infatuation. She must have already forgotten about her.

She swallowed hard at the thought of Brittany forgetting about her.

Suddenly, she heard an irritating sound from inside. Santana frowned.

She closed her eyes again and found herself back in that beach.

She could feel Brittany's presence beside her. She could feel her smile. She could meet her eyes. Her sea blue eyes.

Santana had been the first to tell her she loved her. Santana Lopez! The same person who was so sure about herself and that she didn't need anyone.

She had told Brittany she loved her. She couldn't understand her own words. How could she?

Was it true?

She didn't know. She couldn't be sure of it.

Had she broken Brittany's heart leaving that ship?

Again, the same disturbing sound shook Santana from her thoughts. She turned annoyed and walked back into the apartment. It was her cell phone. Quinn was calling her. She looked at it for a second and then refused the call. She noticed another missed call from Kurt. She switched her cell phone off and sighed.

She didn't want to see anyone. She just needed time.

Suddenly, she heard a noise coming from the front door.

Who was out there?

Santana took a pan from the kitchen stable and walked towards the door, holding it like a weapon. There was obviously someone trying to break into her place.

The door suddenly opened and Santana screamed, lifting the pan threateningly. It was Puck.

Puck screamed, shocked.

"What the hell Puck!?" Santana yelled, upset.

"What!? You're the one with a freaking frying pan in your hands!" he said.

"How did you get in…?"

"With your emergency keys!" He said, "You gave them to me!"

"They are only for emergencies!" Santana said.

"But you stopped answering the phone!" He retorted back.

Santana opened her mouth to speak but closed it a second later. She lowered the pan and went back to the kitchen. She placed it on the counter. Puck followed her.

"I'm fine." She mumbled.

"Really?" Puck said, "You don't look fine to me!" He pointed to her outfit.

Santana frowned and looked down at herself.

"What's wrong?"

"You have a sweatshirt on!" Puck replied as a matter of fact.

"Are you here to bitch about my clothes?" she asked, "I live here! I can do what I want!"

"No, I'm not here to talk about your outfit. I'm here for a beer…" Puck said.

Santana shook her head as Puck sat down on the couch and placed his feet on the small table in front of him. Santana handed him a beer and he took a draught from the bottle.

"Don't you want a glass?" Santana asked ironically.

"Nope. I'm fine." He said.

Santana shook her head.

"What do you want Puck? Why are you here?" She asked.

"I wanted to see how you were." He said.

"But you saw me at work!" Santana said.

"Yes, but I didn't ask." He explained.

"Ok, now you can go." Santana said.

Puck drank some more and looked at her, lifting one eyebrow.

"It's not true."

Santana snorted.

She tried to smile. "I just need time, Puck! I'll be my old self in a …"

"It's not true."

Santana rolled her eyes.

"Listen, I'm not ready to talk about it. So if it's ok with you, could you leave, please?"

"I brought you this." Puck said.

Puck handed her a book. Santana took it and looked at the cover before looking at Puck.

"What's that?"

"A book."

"I can see that clearly." She said, "Are you really here to give me a book?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"The Symposium by Plato. Really?" Santana asked. "I didn't even know you could read!" she joked.

"He's one of the most important Greek philosophers. He laid the foundation of the western way of thought." Puck said.

Santana squinted her eyes, suspiciously. Puck was talking as if he had learned it by heart. Like he was afraid of forgetting something.

"Did he?" Santana continued. "And why this book?"

"Do you know the myth of the soul mates?"

Santana chuckled. She didn't know what Puck was talking about but she liked to see him looking so troubled. And she was curious because she was distracting herself from her thoughts.

"Enlighten me."

Puck swallowed hard and looked around. He breathed in.

"The myth states that humans originally were complete. They had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces."

Santana smiled and lifted her eyebrows in surprise.

"Go on."

"They were arrogant and wanted to challenge the gods. Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them." Puck narrated.

Santana was trying hard to keep a serious face on. Seeing her friend talking like this was incredibly funny.

"And so? What does it all mean?"

"It means that we all search for our other half! And, when we meet them, we fall in love and we can't live without them."

Santana's eyes widened. "Wait… What?"

"There's a soul mate for all of us out there. We look for them and we want to reunite with them!"

Santana stood up abruptly.

"Where are they?" She asked.

Puck rubbed his head nervously.

"Who?" He asked innocently.

"Kurt and Quinn!"

"I don't know…" He tried.

"Puck…" Santana said, glaring at him.

"Oh what the hell!" Puck exclaimed. "They are outside in the car! They made me learn this story by heart because they knew you wouldn't have listened to them! It took me hours!"

"I knew it." Santana said. "Tell them to stop. I want them to leave me alone!"

"But…"

"No buts! I don't want to hear any of these stupid fairy tales anymore!"

"It's a myth!" Puck corrected her.

Santana glared at him.

"Get out!" She said.

"Okay." He said, "I'm out. But you can't deny it anymore!"

Santana walked him to the door and pushed him outside.

She sighed as she closed the door behind her. She leant on it and sighed again.

She started walking to her room.

She just needed to sleep on it. She needed time. She was going to forget about everything. She was sure.

She noticed the book was still there, on the small table in the living room. She took it in her hands.

Maybe reading a couple of pages will help me to get some sleep, she thought.