The Beauty of the Beast
Chapter 11
"What? No! Henry...no. Don't ever think that. Regina would never leave you hanging and you know that", Emma tried to reassure her son.
"But why isn't she here then?" he looked at the blonde, hoping for a convincing answer.
"Well, you know...first of all...we don't know where she has gone to. Maybe it just takes her some more time to get back here...because of the distance..."
"Okay", Henry shrugged and turned to leave, but turned around once again, "What if...what if she doesn't know that she can come home? What if she never finds out?"
Emma stood up, walked over to her heartbroken son and hugged him tight, "We'll figure something out, okay? I'll go over to the mansion tomorrow...maybe I can find something that helps us find her...or contact her for that matter."
"Can...can I come with you? I know it's weird...but I...I guess it will make me feel closer to mom for a bit...I just really miss her", he commented peadingly.
"Sure. I'll pick you up after school", the blonde agreed, "You know what else is weird?"
"What?" Henry looked at her expectantly.
"I miss Regina too...kind of", Emma admitted and realized her own insecurity about that statement.
But it was true none-the-less. Although the brunette had brought her close to insanity at times, she truly missed Regina. She even missed their arguing, their battles.
Because they had always challenged one another and that had been good - in some way.
And they had made some progress before Regina had felt the need to leave town. They had become a little closer. It might have been the smallest of steps, but it had been a beginning.
Emma still believed that they could manage to become friends and even some sort of a family - for Henry.
But it was not just about him. She had quite enjoyed it as well.
They could work it out, they only had to try harder. All of them.
But first of all they had to find Regina.
First of all the brunette had to come back home.
And then she had to forgive Emma for killing her mother.
Emma was sitting at the Mayor's office and tried to concentrate on the paperwork because she had to get done with it before she had to pick up Henry.
School would be over in less than two hours and then they would drive over to the mansion to find something that would help them - to find Regina.
And that fact caused Emma's lack of concentration because she would rather start searching now than later, but she had promised Henry to take him with her.
She forced herself to continue reading when a knock on the door stopped her from it once again.
The second she looked up she stared right into the face of the one person she did not want to see. Not at all.
"Get the hell out, Gold. I always knew you are a sneaky weasel, but what you done..." Emma barked at him, trying to keep herself under control.
"Dearie...dearie...don't work yourself up. You did the world a favor by killing that..." but he could not continue because the blonde had jumped up and now he found himself pinned against the office wall.
"You have no right to decide whether people deserve to live or to die. You might be a genius when it comes to getting into people's heads...you are great in manipulating them...you played me too...but this was definitely the last time, old man. And now get out before I chop off your head as well", Emma looked him straight in the eyes to prove that she was serious.
"Fine. I'll go, but just so you know, dearie. I did it to protect us all. Cora had to die because let's say we would have defeated her...she would have come back and you know it. And besides that...the mayor is free now. She will be angry, but then she will realize that she is finally free", Gold smiled one of his wicked smiles, "And now excuse me, Miss Swan. I have a shop to get to."
Emma was so confused by his words that she indeed opened her fist and let go, but before the old man could leave the office she stopped him once again - by asking the one question she really needed an answer to, "Why didn't you take her powers? You could have become stronger than anyone..."
"Well, that's simple, dearie. If I had wanted her powers I simply could have refused to make a deal with you about Regina's."
"So, you are trying to tell me that you did this because...?" the blonde was not sure what Gold was trying to tell her.
"I did it because somebody had to stop this woman. She has lost her mind long ago, but if she would have gotten Regina's and my powers...she would have ruined everything. The Enchanted Forest, Storybrooke, simply everything. This woman is beyond crazy...nobody would have been able to stop her. It would have been the end of fairytales, the end of True Love. And that can't happen, dearie. What would the world be without that? What sense would life make then? If there was nothing good anymore, nothing to fight for? If people stop to believe in Happy Endings...and people would stop trying to be better and this world and the other...everything would turn into a very dark and sad place. It would turn into nothing, but dust...without hope people have nothing left to live for", he gave Emma a small smile, "You might not believe it, dearie...I'm well aware how much my hunger for power cost me. I thought becoming The Dark One would save my son, but it only made him run away from me. And Belle...oh Belle...I drove her away because all this magic and power...I couldn't let go of it. I see things different now...but it's too late for me, isn't it?"
Emma had not managed to focus on working after Gold's appearance.
She had decided that it would be better to get out of the office to get some fresh air - at least it would keep her from making a mistake by overreading something.
Regina would kill her if she would mess something of this mayor stuff up, that Emma was sure about.
And killing the brunette's mother clearly had put her back into Regina's bad book anyway.
She was sitting at Granny's now, lost in thought, when Henry showed up, a worried expression on his face, "You were supposed to pick me up twenty minutes ago."
The blonde jumped at her son's voice and took a look at the clock, "Shit! I mean...I'm sorry, kid."
"Rough day?" he simply asked.
"Yeah, you could say that. But how do you know?" Emma realized once more that her son could see right through her.
"You look exhausted...like mom always did", he stated simply.
"Right", the blonde murmured absently, but then she remembered why she had been supposed to pick up Henry in the first place, "Do you want something to eat or should we get going?"
Henry had told her that he was not hungry and although Emma had known that he was lying, she had agreed to leave.
There simply was something that was more important to her son than food and she got that.
Standing in the mansion made her feel even more lost and alone than the last time, but Emma knew that she had to deal with her feelings and realizations later because first they had to bring Regina home.
They had searched the whole house twice, but had not found the slightest hint.
No notes, no phone numbers, no contact adresses, nothing.
Henry had fallen asleep on the living room couch during the process and Emma had not dared to wake him up because he seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
So she had decided that she could as well keep looking.
But what for?
There was nothing that would reveal anything about Regina's travel plans.
And yet Emma climbed the stairs once again, headed for the brunette's bedroom.
It felt so wrong to be in that room, more wrong than in every other place of the house, but the blonde knew she had to try harder. She had to find something.
Going through the wardrobe again, she sighed out of frustration.
Everthing was sorted perfectly - skirts, slacks, shirt, blouses, coats.
But what else would someone expect to find in the brunette's wardrobe? Chaos?
And then it hit Emma.
The nightstand.
She had not checked that before.
It made her feel even more comfortable and out of place when she opened it slowly, but once she caught sight of the only thing in it, Emma dared to breathe again.
She took the book out carefully, not sure what to think of it.
Clearly it was old, bound in brown leather, but what was it? The spell book she would have needed days ago?
Emma hesitated to open it, but she had to know. Maybe the book held the information they were so desperately longing for and so she opened it with shaking fingers.
Once she caught sight of the first handwritten page Emma became aware of the fact that it had to be Regina's old diary and she closed it immediately.
She had no right to read it and she would not find the information she needed in there, would she?
She opened it again and took a look at the last entry quickly, realizing that Regina must have written it before she had come to Storybrooke.
Another dead end.
This would be no help. No help at all.
Emma knew she should put the journal back where it belonged, but she could not let go of it.
And so she sat done on the floor, leaning against the closed wardrobe, debatting with herself.
Regina would definitely kill her if she would find out that Emma only touched it.
But the thought of getting to know the brunette by reading what the diary held simply was too tempting, especially since Regina hardly ever let down her walls. No matter how much Emma had wished at times that things would be different.
That Regina would open up to her, would let her in, would talk to her about the stuff that clearly was haunting her.
This might be Emma's only chance to learn something about the brunette. Something that would help her to understand Regina better.
And that was why the blonde opened the diary after all and started to read.
