10
Bella was tossing and turning. She had a nightmare. She kept seeing the faces of Charlie, and then Alice, screaming and disappearing from her sight. She woke up in a cold sweat. She switched on the lights and looked around the room, which had become so familiar in the last four months. Since that first outing with Edward and Alice a day after the visit to his mother, they had started going out regularly. In the beginning, she was saying that she was just honoring her contract, but soon it became obvious that she actually enjoyed spending time with them.
Alice and Edward did not shy from doing adventurous things, from skiing to hikes, from camping to jet skiing (well, that was mostly Edward). She also found out that they were very open to each other, not at all the uptight, serious people she saw at Edward's mother's house.
Her heart cringed a little.
She used to be adventurous too, but when her behavior became destructive, she had to let go of that side of her. She was a little nostalgic thinking that whatever adventurous stuff Alice would choose to do in the future, be it parachuting or gliding, Edward would probably be by her side and support the girl. Bella was not sure how she felt about that. She remembered when she threw herself off a cliff and rode motorbikes as excessive speed… But that was under different circumstances. She doubted Edward would allow Alice to do anything dangerous if it was to harm herself.
Since moving in with them, she had taken notes and worked on her novel. She liked the way it progressed, no rush, just simply pouring out from her. There were times when she wanted to skip work in order to write more. That was another thing… she started being more and more dissatisfied with her job. Nothing actually happened. The news that she was Edward's fiancée had died out, and she was now in the process of continuing as normal, with the usual gossip surrounding her situation. Edward had not shown up since the night James was beaten, and he had made no further comments. It was her this time… she needed a breather, time to herself. But she didn't want to live off Edward.
If she quit her job and pursued writing full-time, that would give Edward's plan legitimacy. She would no longer be the victim in this scenario, but the perpetrator. She wished she could confide in someone, someone who wouldn't judge her, and then looked at her phone with longing.
There was one friend in Forks whom she had kept in touch with. So, before she overthought it and changed her mind, she texted Rosalie:
How is he doing?
A few minutes pass till a message chirps:
Forget the a**hole. Dating someone from the res as far as I know. How are you?
Bella's heart clenched. How much should she say? She thought about a dismissive reply, but then she remembered Rosalie had always been there for her. She was one of those amazing people who actually stayed on in Forks after graduating high school, married her sweetheart, Emmett and had their 2.5 kids and a white picket fence dream. She would like to tell her everything, the mess she was in now. But on the other hand, Rosalie had so much on her own plate, was it fair to her to bring some more?
Hanging on, Bella wrote in the end.
The reply seemed to take longer now. Probably Rosalie felt there was more to it, but was not sure if to press or not.
Don't be a stranger, was the reply she saw a few hours later.
In the meantime, she had thought about what Rosalie had said about Jacob. That he had moved on. She was not sure how she felt about it, but she guessed she should be happy. And relieved. She remembered how they always promised to be good friends and was thinking how she had thought of calling him first thing after Edward had brought on the agreement. This made her feel stupid now. And for the first time in months, she didn't want to run away. And while preparing for dinner with her housemates, she realized she felt comfortable in her place here.
"Sweetie, could you go to the cinema with Jessica tonight by yourselves? I'd like to talk to Bella, like between grown-ups," Edward announced at the table that evening.
Alice looked up from her plate and simply nodded. She was a good kid. Bella was more intrigued, but knew better than to push it further with Alice there. If there was one thing that Edward kept very strict, it was the condition regarding Alice ... He didn't want her exposed to disagreements and fights, and since Edward and Bella didn't have a natural relationship, it was sometimes hard to diffuse the tension. If he was sending Alice away, then it must be something big.
When they were left alone, Edward was straightforward.
"How are you adjusting to this ... new…lifestyle?"
Bella could see he was genuinely interested, and if she hadn't known better, even nervous. It was ironic that only a few hours ago she would have replied 'miserable' without a second thought. But as if he was reading her mind, he chose the right moment to ask about that.
"I'm…adjusting." And then without having planned to say this much, she continued, "I've actually started writing a book."
Edward's interest seemed piqued. "About me?" He smirked.
"Maybe… It could be called, Kidnapping Methods in the 21st Century."
He flinched at that and replied all serious, "Bella, I didn't kidnap you." He started pacing the room "But, we need to discuss our arrangement. You've kept your end of the deal, no worries. But… we need to take it to the next level. I said I would give it a few months to see how Alice reacted and to get used to each other, but now I just want to offer her a stable environment. So I would like to start the wedding preparations."
This was the least romantic proposal in the world, Bella thought. Not that she and Edward were actually a couple. They were just… complicated.
"I'd like a simple wedding, not too many guests. Due to my status, I don't want a social event out of it, I'd like to keep the paparazzi away. Also, I don't want to get my mother involved, I would rather keep it low," Edward continued nonchalantly. He suddenly turned to her, waiting.
"Are you asking me something, or just laying down the conditions?"
"Look, Bella, I want this to work. I really want this to work…" He sighed and sat back down. "I would like to explain everything, but this seems like the easiest course. The past doesn't matter anymore."
Bella laughed: "You can't just switch off the past when it's not convenient, Edward." And then she turned her back to him and barely whispered, "Believe me, I tried."
Then she turned around to see him fixing her with his gaze. "As far as I see, nothing has changed. I'm here because of our agreement, and I will stay until you no longer blackmail me. And… the book I am writing is about fathers."
"Fathers? And you say I inspired you?" Edward seemed genuinely surprised.
"I think that's the best part of you. But I admit I don't know you well."
"But we've been living together all this time, Bella. I don't have a secret, parallel life if that is what you are imagining," He laughed at this.
"You know, a few days after our… agreement started, I googled you."
"Have you found anything interesting?"
"I didn't, and I think you know I wouldn't. I only found things about your work. As if your life started when you were twenty-three."
"In a way, it did."
"But I see you tend to keep your private and professional life separate. As if you are two persons."
"I am a private person, yes. But Bella, no one stopped you from coming to my workplace. I think I even suggested you could work there."
"Would you really let me in, Edward?"
He realized the question was more loaded than just going to his workplace.
"I will try to."
In her bed, Bella couldn't sleep. She had been easy on Edward, she knew that. She was saying to herself that maybe it was because she was warming up to him.
But part of her knew better.
She had her own past of which she was not proud. She could not forget her own faults...her own guilt.
A/N: Beta'd thanks to Fran! I love reading your reviews, and think the discussion is going into the right direction; one of my favorites from the last chapter surprised the characters quite well m0t0b33 "she's basically him but without the loads of cash and the kid" :) Thank you for all the support, see you on Wednesday!
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