Dead or Alive Xtreme: Retreat to Paradise!
Me: THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO HAVE READ THE LAST CHAPTER. Here's some more!~
... did I really make that many errors? Oh well, I'll fix 'em up later.
That, and I've just realised but this chapter isn't very funny. It's a little boring, seeing as it's mostly just character interaction/friendship scenes and all. That, and I'm getting the feeling that this fanfic is going nowhere. I seem to have this habit of dragging out stuff ... and I've done it again! .
Sorry 'bout that. I promise, the next chappie will be better!
... I hope you're not getting sick of the format I keep using in these chapters – it's just that this way, I can keep track of the characters a bit better. I tend to forget some characters exist, so yeah ...
7:00am in the morning after ...
After a several chapter night, morning had finally arrived. Now let's checkup on the cast! That, and Zack also sent out an instruction for the morning:
MEET IN DA RESTAURANT GUIZ!
Room 1
Kasumi, after a fairly pleasant sleep, woke up and climbed out of bed with energy. Being a runaway ninja meant that you really had to be able to adjust your sleeping times and your ability to escape certain death ... even if you were showering or sleeping. The kunoichi noticed that Bayman wasn't in his bed, and she guessed he had already headed down to breakfast.
Changing out of her sleepwear and into a pretty pink andwhite camisole with jean shorts, along with white sneakers and a tennis bracelet, Kasumi contently made her bed, and left the room for breakfast.
Tina ... well, she was still laying in the bar, which is fairly close to the restaurant, but anyway.
Anyway, as Kasumi went down the well-decorated hallway to get to the lower floor, she conveniently bumped into Eliot.
"Oh, hello Eliot!" greeted Kasumi chirpily.
"O-oh, hey there, uh, Kasumi," replied Eliot sheepishly, a little flustered by Kasumi's friendliness. All of the girls he had encountered so far (I'm looking at you Ayane/Hitomi/Christie ...) seemed to be rather ... intimidating, to say the least. He was glad that at least Kasumi was nice.
"Are you going down for breakfast as well?" asked Kasumi politely.
"Yeah," said Eliot.
"Well, let's go down together then," proposed Kasumi, smiling a little.
Eliot nodded happily in response and the two continued down the hallway. The restaurant was a little far away from the rooms, so Kasumi felt it was a great time to get to know her potential brother-in-law better.
"So Eliot, how did you meet my sister?" asked Kasumi with great curiosity flashing in her eyes.
"Um, so who's your ...?" trailed off Eliot, a little confused.
"Oh, right! I forgot to say, but Ayane's my sister. Well, half-sister but anyway," blurted Kasumi, kicking herself mentally for forgetting such an important detail. She went a little red
"Oh, I see. Well, I met her when I was training in China with my master," answered Eliot, recalling his very educational experience with Ayane. What a wonderful day that was.
"So what happened that made Ayane so friendly with you?" queried Kasumi, finally getting to the important bit. She HAD to hear this. She stared a little much at Eliot, who started to feel a little bit like he was being interrogated.
Sigh.
Why was every girl in the DOA series so scary/weird? Well, barring maybe Kokoro.
"Well, Ayane helped me out a lot when I was training. You see, I was feeling a bit down that day, and I think Ayane picked up on that. So she, uh, slapped me and gave me a lecture."
"Oh my! How rude of her! I'm really sorry that happened," apologised Kasumi embarassedly, trying to make up for her sister's ... rudeness.
"It's fine, it's fine. In fact, I'm actually really grateful to her. Her speech really made me think about being more confident in myself and all," replied Eliot sincerely.
Kasumi was a little surprised. Most people came to resent Ayane for her smartass attitude ... and yet here Eliot was, saying that he was grateful for her lecture. AND her slapping of him.
"I see. Thank you, Eliot. For being good to her," said Kasumi quietly, almost at a whisper.
"No, no, it's fine," replied Eliot quickly.
"Ayane had a bad childhood, and so she treats other people a bit badly. And you know how she is. She doesn't have that many friends, but, for my sake, I hope you can still be good friends with her," said Kasumi, her face going from contemplative to a warm smile, with her head tilting a little.
"Oh, of course! Don't you worry, Kasumi," said Eliot gallantly, somewhat feeling like a man.
Kasumi smiled brightly in response, her day suddenly becoming so much more pleasant.
"By the way, I heard you're sharing a room with my brother. What do you think of him?" asked Kasumi curiously.
"Oh. Yeah. Uh, Kasumi?"
"Hmm?"
"Did you know that he, uh, swings the other way?"
"Um ... I don't really understand."
"He's, um, on the other bus."
"Uhh ..."
"He sits on the other side of the fence."
"I'm not sure ..."
"HE'S GAY!" yelled Eliot exasperatingly, a little fed up with Kasumi's ... not-knowingness.
"Oh."
Kasumi was shocked. How could she have not known this?! She was his sister! She should know! Gasp. The kunoichi began trembling, and stopped walking for a second and stared at the ground. She tried to objectively look at every one of Hayate's potential romantic thingies.
Well, he didn't seem to be attracted at all to Hitomi. Even though they had a perfect set-up for a beautiful romance, Hayate was all "NUP. I DON'T LIKE ROMANCE." Hmm. How suspicious. Hitomi was a lively and beautiful specimen of a female ... and yet ...
GASP.
Maybe ... just maybe ... Hayate might actually be gay.
DOUBLE GASP.
As Kasumi stood there with revelation after revelation bursting forth, Eliot felt a little awkward. Then, the two arrived at the hotel restaurant, and as soon as Kasumi set her eyes on Hayate, who was waiting at the waitey stand thingo, she locked on target, and made a beeline towards him.
Eliot ... just drifted off. And now, it's time for describey things (if you don't like boring description, I suggest you skip ahead; I just like to envision stuff~) !
The restaurant seemed to have a breezy, light atmosphere, with hues of white, blue, and gold splashed tastefully across the area. The place had a soft, almost beach-like aesthetic going on, with curved, white tables and simple, yet elegant decor.
Standing at the waitey stand thingo, was Mila and Lisa, who were chatting away happily ... whilst Hayate was being all moody and stuff. Tina ... well, Lisa dragged her over to the waitey stand thingo, so yeah. Christie and Bayman were there too.
Room 2
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Kokoro.
"Hngh ... you're too loud, Kokoro ... wait ... what ...?" asked a bewildered Hitomi, whose sense slowly began to come to. The German girl then realised the cause of Kokoro's cry. The two girls were tied up together on Hitomi's bed with incredibly well-tied rope, their front sides facing one another. They were also purple.
As in, Ayane had secretly doused the two girls in purple paint, and now their clothes, their hair, and their skin had turned a lovely shade of violet. It was very pretty, but it also made Kokoro and Hitomi look like aliens from another planet.
"Ahh ...! The ropes are so tight!" moaned Kokoro uncomfortably. She was getting really, really uncomfortable with her face so close to Hitomi's. She tried her best to keep her face out of Hitomi's ... but it was kinda hard.
Another thing ... their boobs were squishing up against each other. That was awkward.
"Uh ..." stuttered Hitomi, a little flustered. She really had no idea what to do. Not to mention, she was starting to feel the awkwardness sink in as well.
"SOMEONE GET US OUT OF THESE!" bellowed Hitomi pleadingly, making Kokoro wince at her volume.
"That was loud ..." Kokoro muttered under her breath.
"Well, how else are we gonna get out of these?"
"... good point."
...
...
...
No reply. Silence. Crickets. Tumbleweed.
Things were looking pretty bad. Then Kokoro's stomach began growling furiously, making the Japanese girl go red in the face. And then Hitomi's stomach responded with equal vigour.
"Um, I think we'll just have to, uh, roll ourselves out of bed," suggested Hitomi.
The two girls sighed defeatedly, their dignity gone forever.
"Okay, so on one. Three, two, one!" said Hitomi.
Buuuut, it didn't work. As soon as Hitomi finished saying "two," Kokoro tried pushing herself off to the left, and on "one," Hitomi pushed herself to the right.
Meaning that they got nowhere. The two girls kept going at it, and ... well, they got absolutely nowhere. At some point, Kokoro and Hitomi were practically out of breath ... and they just began to struggle in vain to free themselves from Ayane's evil prank.
"Ayane is going to die the moment I see her," grumbled a peeved Kokoro.
"I'll help," added Hitomi.
"Well. That's all good and all ... but I think we need to come up with a better idea."
"Yeah. Okay, how 'bout this. We'll try to roll near the edge of the bed, then turn a bit, and then try standing, yeah?"
"Got it."
"... let's not have a repeat of the last five minutes."
"Hey, I don't like this anymore than you do."
The two girls then roooollllled across to the edge of the bed. And then they did some more struggling, pulling the bed sheets with them, and finally adjusted themselves into a good position. After a bit of wriggling downwards ... THEY FINALLY GOT ONTO THEIR TWO FEET!
YAY!
... except for the fact that they looked like they were embracing each other a little too intimately. But oh well.
"Ahh, thank God we got off the bed. I thought we'd never make it!"
"I know right ..."
The girls then tippy-toed across the room, being veeeery careful. Tripping up just slightly meant that both of them would land on the floor. And that'd be even worse. Y'know, what with their totally-suspicious looking position. Aaaand the ropes. Aaaaaaaaaaaand the purple paint stuff.
So, they tippy-toed away, awkwardly trying to keep each other's face out of the other's!
Room 3
Well. We already covered Eliot's part, and Hayate's already in the restaurant ... so who are we missing?
Oh yeah. Brad. Umm ... well, he still thought he was dead. Buuuut, at least the bar was pretty much in the same area as the restaurant, so ... hurray!
Room 4
After making several calls to her favourite tailors, a few funerary businesses, aaaand looking up the best ways to die dramatically on Google, Helena was STILL undecided as to how this would all come together.
Sigh.
Dying was such a complicated matter. Anyway, the French woman had been sitting on the verandah of the restaurant, which lead up to a conveniently placed rock cliff. Which Helena decided to be her dying place, as a last resort. To maximise the drama, Helena would wait until EVERYONE came, and then, she'd scream something along the lines of "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" And then, she'd go running off to the cliff, and then she'd pluuuuuunge down to the dangerous sea below, filled with sharp rocks and the like. You know, the kind that makes dramatic cliff-deaths dramatic.
Yesss.
But this was just her last resort. Her backup plan. Not that she had a perfect plan yet, but still. It was pretty darn good as it was. Helena had already put on her finest dress, which pretty much impersonated a Greek goddess. And when I say that, I mean her last costume in DOA4. Yeah. I liked that one. And so does Helena, evidently.
Anyway.
Let's check back on the rest of 'em!
LE REST OF 'EM! (after most of them arrived anyhow)
"Heeey? Tina? You up now?" asked Lisa, shaking her hangover-ed friend lightly.
"Uuuugh ... I think I'm gonna bark, uh, barf ..."
"Y'know last night ... Jann Lee and Leifang ... whisperwhisperwhisper ...!"
Tina's eyes immediately blinked wide open as she heard the juicy details. Suddenly, the blonde's face burst into life, as she giggled at the news.
"Wowee, that all sounds so convenient!"
"I know right?" commented Mila.
"I always knew there was something between them," said Tina, going all reminiscey.
"Y'know, I think we should help those two fulfil their love! There's enough sexual tension in this bunch people anyway," suggested Lisa, who had a genuine spark in her eyes.
"Ooh, sounds fun," replied Tina with enthusiasm. Even though Leifang was her rival and all, she still had a pretty good relationship with her. And besides, matchmaking seemed fun!
The three girls giggled together, as other equally amusing conversations went on. Oh, and did I mention Helena was just standing outside the cast, on the edge of a cliff?
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF 'ZIS TERRIBLE LIFE!" proclaimed Helena, arms spread out and chest forward.
... not that anyone noticed. Helena looked back to see everyone being all busy, which pissed her off. Why wasn't anyone paying attention?!
Leifang and Gen Fu were having a rather one-sided conversation, with Gen Fu reeling off stories of his granddaughter. And how Leifang reminded him of her and all.
"You seem so much like her, Leifang. All that vim and vigour, that youthful energy!" said Gen Fu, tempted to pat the Chinese girl on her head ... but she was taller, so yeah.
"That's nice of you sir, but-"
"Ahh ... one day, I hope my Mei Lin will grow to be like you!"
"Well, um-"
"Perhaps you could teach her some of your Tai Chi? I've seen your ability, and it's very remarkable for your age."
"Oh nonono, not at all," replied Leifang quickly. Finally! Something she could (maybe) talk about! Martial arts ...! Yeah. That wasn't the best topic, but still. As Leifang went into martial arts talky stuff and Gen Fu politely listened (at last!), other stuff was happening!
"I SHALL BEGIN MY NEW LIFE IN HEAVEN!" shouted Helena, hoping to get someone's attention ... but it didn't happen again. Which pissed her off even more, and the French woman began to stomp the ground in annoyance.
Meanwhile, Leon and Zack were discussing their seriously unknown past together, with Niki clinging onto the latter. Not that the conversation actually went anywhere.
"Good morning Ayane!" greeted Eliot cheerfully, though he was actually a bit nervous.
"Oh, hey."
"So, uh, how are you?"
"Terrible."
"I see ..."
Eliot ... was kinda out of conversation options. So, he ended up just awkwardly doing that thing where you talk about random things ... like the weather ... and stuff. Buut, they did end up talking about stuff about Zack Island, and Ayane strictly taught him the, uh, eventful vacations she had before.
"SO! You shall be forced into wearing skimpy bikinis, and you won't have any other clothes but swimsuits! That, and there's an endless supply of weird stuff. Oh, and you can't make meaningful conversation whatsoever. You can ONLY say one line before making suggestive lesbian actions."
"I ... see ..." answered Eliot, overwhelmed ... and very very scared.
And then OTHER conversations were happening.
"I SHALL JUMP!" squawked Helena, arms flapping about. Not that anyone heeded her. They were too busy listening to something else.
"Hayate! Why didn't you tell me you're gay?! I'm your sister, I should know! And of all people you tell, you tell ELIOT?! I mean, not to be rude or anything, but still! Why not me?!"
"GO AWAY KASUMI!" bellowed Hayate, who finally had enough of his overly-clingy sister.
"Seriously! Can you, just, for one moment, NOT bother me with your incessant pestering?! You've been chasing after me for several games, and I'm sick of it! Ugh ..." ranted Hayate, who basically just let out all of his inner feelings about Kasumi.
"... but -"
"BUT NOTHING! Just go away, Kasumi. Go find someone else to bother."
"Hayate, I-"
"NOW!"
The entire room went silent. Even Zack went quiet. Even Helena as well. It was that dramatic. Kasumi began breathing heavily, and then tears began to form at the edges of her eyes. The kunoichi, feelings boiling and almost out of control, walked away, sobbing and sniffling quietly. Everyone else looked on in pity ... except for, well, Christie. And y'know. All those "I-don't-care" characters. Ayane ... didn't know what to do. Hayabusa didn't want to intervene, seeing as it was between the two siblings.
Helena, despite feeling bad for Kasumi, then got even more annoyed at the fact that the little sibling fight was taking away all the drama she was about to cause. Argh! The nerve of Kasumi/Hayate! Stealing her limelight was utterly blasphemous!
Aaaand then, Kokoro/Hitomi hopped in on the scene. Totally destroying the atmosphere. Everyone else's attention then shifted onto the two girls as most of the cast gaped in shock ... at the oh-so lovely sight of Hitomi/Kokoro bound up in rope ... and splashed in purple paint.
"W-what just happened?" asked Hitomi concernedly, after she saw Kasumi walk sadly past her.
"IT'S NOTHING!" shouted Kasumi from behind Kokoro/Hitomi. The two girls tried to look back at the kunoichi ... not that they could, but they still tried.
"Hayate ...?" began Hitomi.
"It's nothing," replied Hayate stoically, who then turned away and stared at the wall with his angry eyes turned on.
"WOAH! All that girl on girl action!" said Brad, who suddenly woke up to see ... well, y'know. Brad then began to have a nosebleed. Eliot then quickly rushed over to him and expertly applied lots and lots of tissues. Clearly, the boy had experience in dealing with the drunk.
"Uhh ... what were you two doing last night?" asked Lisa dumbfoundedly, who was ... uhh ... secretly turned on.
"More like, why're you guys purple?!" asked Mila, totally weirded out.
Helena, who was still outside, was borderline FURIOUS. She was seriously pissed off. WHYYYYYYY? What was with all this drama that was happening without her?!
Hitomi and Kokoro's faces both went dark. A furious aura then enveloped the two girls as their eyes locked onto Ayane, who was casually standing around, averting the two girls' deadly gaze. Everyone went silent again, as a massive storm began brewing. Hitomi/Kokoro's hair began to fly up on their own accord, swirling around in angry tendrils.
"AYANE ... YOU BITCH!" screamed the two girls in unison, as they attempted to lunge at the violette ... which then caused the girls to fall flat on their faces.
In the most erotic position you can possibly think of.
"WOAHHHH!" said pretty much all the guys. Even Hayabusa. In his head. Yes.
"AU REVOIR, CRUEL WORLD!" announced Helena. With, yet again, no one paying attention.
Zack then secretly took out a camera hidden in his pocket, and then promptly began snapping as many photos as he could. Yeeeesss. And then later, he could wring some money out of the other guys with the photos. Heh.
"Ahh! Someone help us outta these!" wailed Hitomi, who finally had enough. Hayabusa gallantly grabbed a kunai out of nowhere, and sliced apart the ropes. Buuut ... he didn't have paint remover stuff.
As soon as the two girls were freed, they immediately sprung onto Ayane, screeching a truly terrible warcry. Hitomi held Ayane against the wall and Kokoro did a helpy thing too. They both glared at the violette with so much intensity, whilst Ayane simply smirked smugly.
"Oh? What happened to you two?" asked Ayane, her voice soaked in sarcasm. Her eyes did that annoying thing where she looks down on other people, and the kunoichi folded her arms and smirked some more.
"I swear ... YOU'RE GONNA-"
"I AM HELENA, SEE ME DIEEEEEE!" bellowed the French woman as she gracefully leapt off the cliff and remained floating in the air with more gracefulness, with everyone (finally!) turning around to see Helena Douglas commiting suicide.
Helena smiled sadly, as her melodramatic aura heightened, with sparkles shining all around her, making her seem almost like a goddess. The woman then continued floating ... and then subsequently fell like a rock.
"Helena, NOOOO!" panicked Kokoro, who immediately rushed outside to save her sister. Most of the others also madly sprinted out with Kokoro, in an attempt to save the French woman.
"Yahhhh!" yelled Kokoro as she also jumped to save Helena, and then Gen Fu panicked at the sight and jumped save her, and THEN, Leifang saw that they were all going to fall to their death if no one jumped to save Gen Fu, so SHE jumped to grab onto Gen Fu. But then they would still fall to their deaths, so Hayabusa jumped to the rescue too. BUUUUUT, it still wouldn't work, so Kasumi suddenly teleported in to save her guardian. AND I'M NOT FINISHED YEEEEEET, so Bayman jumped into to save Kasumi.
Which formed a giant human chain. Everyone struggled to hold on, with Helena flapping about, pleading madly for them to let her diieeeeee honourably.
The others who hadn't foolishly jumped to save another person then helped Bayman to drag everyone else up, though after Christie called up the hotel's intensive care unit to bring Bass out (he was there 'cause, y'know, his whole blood loss issue), Bass managed to drag everyone up without a sweat.
"Helena, are you alright?" sobbed Kokoro, scared for her half-sister's sanity. Among others.
"Oh, but life is cruel! Everyone, I appreciate your saving of me, but it really wasn't-"
"Helena! I thought we talked about this the last time we were on the island!" chimed in Kasumi, who drew herself up to full height and stepped closer to the French woman.
"You've got people who worry about you, people who depend on you, and your friends! Don't just throw it all away! That's just stupid!" lectured Kasumi, part of her fervour stemming from her lovely little bout with Hayate earlier on.
"Oh, Kasumi. Oh my, I've really forgotten myself, sorry. Ahem. I ... sincerely apologise for what I've tried to do. It was really quite foolish and reckless of me. Now ... now let's just go back to the task at hand."
Helena gave a small smile to Kasumi, who seemed satisfied and Kokoro held the French woman's hands in her own for a bit, clenching them slightly to reassure her.
"Just to make things clear, I am not gay, alright?" asserted Hayate with a loud voice.
"AHEM! Aaaaanyway, I've brought you all here because we have a bit of an emergency. You see, uh, we're out of food supplies here ... so ... uh ... you're going to have to fish for your breakfast."
...
...
...
"Utter moron," hissed Christie.
Me: Yeah. I keep doing this. I FEEL SO BAD FOR DOING THIS ALL THE TIME. At this rate, the fanfic will take forever just to get up to a volleyball match. Sigh.
Okay, next chapter will have a volleyball match! Just because!
