Summery The Door Marked F! … When all spells are washed away, the truth may be a bit shocking.

Disclaimer J.K. Rowling, I am not there are some direct quotes, some mixed quotes, and some indirect quotes from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in this, but I did try to make it fun to re-read what you've probably read before if you're reading Harry Potter fanfiction.

Segment 5 It's All Fun and Games

Hermione stopped Jamie on their way back to Gryffindor Tower, "What did you say back there?"

"Back where?" Jamie asked bewildered by the bushy haired girl's question.

"In the corridor before you took off running and found Mrs. Norris."

"I think it was something like… what's that? Come on… why?"

Hermione shook her head, "That's not what you said Jamie."

"Of course that's what I said Hermione. I think I should know as I said it."

Hermione shook her head, "No… You said, 'Sliss-asills' something. I can't really think of how to pronounce it, it was like another language."

"Another language? How could I speak another language without knowing I can?"

"That's what it sounded like, but I couldn't understand it so I don't know for sure."

Jamie shrugged, "Well… I guess we have a new research project then."

When they entered the tower, a lot of the other students wouldn't even look at Jamie for some reason while others were staring at her with expressions of awe on their faces, but she blew the oddness of that off and headed down to her room to sleep.


The next morning, Professor McGonagall approached Jamie at breakfast, "Professor Lockhart has requested that you are to do your detention with him this evening, Miss Potter."

"Oh n- Please Professor… can't I go to anyone else but him? Snape hates me but I'd even prefer him to that pervert."

"That's Professor Snape, Miss Potter, and I'd be careful of what you call other people, especially your professors, if you don't want to spend even more time in detention. You know that fighting is not allowed at Hogwarts, even if you were provoked, you really should work on your temper young lady."

"Okay, I'll go… but only if there's someone else in the room as well."

"I think that can be arranged," Professor McGonagall said with an evil gleam in her eye, "Eight O'clock sharp."

"Yes, Ma'am," Jamie said dejectedly.


Jamie spent most of the day she'd always thought of as her birthday, before Hagrid brought her her Hogwarts letter and let her know otherwise, in the library researching languages with Hermione. She was somewhat depressed from the lack of progress they had made in narrowing down the possibilities, when she went back to Gryffindor Tower to get ready for her detention by changing out of her favorite blue sundress into an oversized, off green knit sweater she had borrowed from Angelina who affectionately referred to it as one of her ugly, Christmas sweaters and a comfortable pair of black denim jeans.

When she arrived at the DADA classroom for her detention, she was greeted by a familiar drawl that she both loathed and had been hoping not to hear that evening, as she didn't think the blonde ponce would be of any use to her against the gleaming git.

"Nice look Potter," Malfoy said looking Jamie over sleazily.

"If that was supposed to be an insult, you've missed your mark," Jamie returned.

Malfoy didn't reply.

Lockhart's smile lost a bit of its gleam upon seeing Jamie's outfit, when he opened his office door to invite the girl into his office, hardly even noticing Malfoy following her. The detention the man had for them turned out to be one of the most horrifying tasks Jamie had ever heard of, and would likely give her nightmares about it for weeks, helping Lockhart answer his fan-mail; at least Malfoy would be right there with her in her misery. Both students probably could have just sat there doing nothing the whole time, as Lockhart's narcissism was so powerful within the man that Jamie doubted he even knew he wasn't alone most of the time. Lockhart finally let them go around eleven PM with a comment to the effect of "Great Scott, look at the time. I'd never have believed it, but it's really flown by. Now off you go."

Malfoy muttered, "Guess that beat cleaning the Trophy Room using Muggle means."

"I would have preferred that," Jamie replied quietly.

Realizing they'd actually said something civil to one another, both turned away with a shudder and hurried off to their respective dorms.


Monday morning started off strange as Lily Moon looked panicked, as Jamie entered the showers, and ran out of with soap still in her hair. Then the most exciting thing to ever happen since Jamie had started going to Hogwarts, and quite possibly since Binns became a professor, happened in History of Magic as Hermione interrupted the ghostly man to inquire about the Chamber of Secrets. The instructor's angry reply that he dealt with facts not myths and legends was belied by the fear radiating from him. After much cajoling, the class, who were also interested in the subject, finally dragged the story out of reluctant teacher.

Evidently, each of the four founders of Hogwarts, Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin, had crafted special chambers for their personal use somewhere on the grounds. The location of Ravenclaw's "Chamber of Knowledge" is supposedly passed from Headmaster to Headmaster, while Hufflepuff's chamber was never completed before she died; Slytherin supposedly named his chamber "The Chamber of Secrets" and its location, like Gryffindor's "Chamber of Honor," has been lost to time. After Gryffindor and Slytherin had a falling out over how to handle muggles and muggleborn mages, Slytherin departed the school saying that one day his heir would reopen his chamber and if his enemies hadn't changed their ways, they would suffer his wrath.


"Hiya Harry," Colin said as he caught up to the girls on the way to dinner that evening.

"Hey Colin," Jamie answered with a sigh.

"Harry – Jamie – a boy in my class has been saying you're –"

"What, Colin? That I'm the Heir of Slytherin?" Jamie deduced judging from the actions of Lily this morning and Justin Finch-Fletchley at lunch today among others.

Colin nodded mutely.

"Ugh. People here will believe anything." Jamie muttered. "Say… Hermione… is it too late to sue Filch for slander or has this rumor that I'm a murderer spread and morphed too much for that already?"

Hermione shrugged, "Probably… but you might actually be related to Slytherin you know. Have you researched your family yet?"

"I hadn't really thought about that… but then… for all we know you or Colin might be related to him too, Hermione."

"That's less likely. Slytherin was anti-muggle."

"It's been nearly a thousand years since Slytherin was alive. That's a lot of generations to work through."

"Eh. You're right."


The rest of that week wasn't very pleasant for Jamie as more and more students started either avoiding her, or openly accusing her of being the Heir. Even Lockhart, using her name for the first time on Tuesday, got into the whole "Jamie Slytherin" thing, for the sake of publicity; of course he was still refusing to acknowledge she was a girl.

On Saturday the 7th, the whole school traipsed down to the Quidditch pitch for the first match of the year, Gryffindor vs Slytherin… or rather superior tactics and skill vs superior brooms and ruthlessness as Oliver put it in their last team meeting. Jamie was inexplicably nervous for some reason she couldn't identify. Maybe it was the thought of what Oliver would do if they lost, or maybe it was about going up against all those new brooms, or maybe it was just that this was her first match since becoming a girl, she really couldn't tell.

Oliver really didn't really help matters when he finished the team pep-rally speech with, "It'll be all down to you, Jaime. Show them that a Seeker has to have more than a rich father. Get the Snitch before Malfoy… or die trying."

"No pressure or anything, Jamie." Fred said winking at her.

Then George put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Make them rue the day they let that little bit of slime, buy his way onto their team."

As the game progressed, Jamie scanned the pitch for the elusive little golden ball she was going to beat Malfoy to, and could see that, while the Nimbus 2001s were the dream brooms for the Slytherin Chasers, their Beaters and Keeper were having difficulties compensating for the greatly improved acceleration rates over the brooms they were used to… this helped keep the scoring somewhat even. About ten minutes into the match, one of the Bludgers whizzed past Jamie's head, close enough to ruffle her hair. One of the Weasley twins batted it at the Slytherin Keeper, but about a third of the way to its intended target, the ball suddenly reversed course and headed straight for Jaime again. Ducking and dodging became her sole focus for the next few minutes while Fred and George did their best to help keep the errant metal sphere away from her. Oliver called a time out, and the rest of the team landed to discuss what was going on, Jamie however, not bereft of her two guardians was still flying in crazy patterns trying to avoid the Bludger that just wouldn't leave her alone. She was managing fairly well until she slowed down to tell Oliver and the Twins to just let her handle the bloody thing, the loss of momentum however allowed the rogue Bludger to hit her left leg, spinning her around rapidly and nearly unseating her, with a very audible crack, but she rocketed back into the air before anyone could say anything about it.

Because Jamie hadn't landed with the rest of her team, Madam Hooch awarded the Slytherins a penalty shot. Jamie took advantage of her crazy tag-along by rapidly shooting past different Slytherin players breaking up their formations. Malfoy took this as an affront and began taunting her. His eyes grew huge and he dived out of her way as she came speeding towards him suddenly. A moment later Jamie swooped down to the announcer's booth holding the Snitch aloft when, WHAM! The Bludger collided with her raised arm shattering more bones and knocking her out of the air to slam into the front of the stands before she fell nearly forty feet to the soggy ground below. As several teachers rushed to check on the fallen girl, none of them thought to stop the Bludger which, even though she was already on the ground was still pursuing her. Jamie managed to dodge its next strike, but then it hit her again crushing her pelvis before Dumbledore finally destroyed the thing.

The gleaming git grabbed Jamie's broken arm, ignoring her scream of agony and Hermione's pleas for him to leave Jamie alone, and cast what he claimed was a bone mending spell, but instead removed all the bones instead; at which point Jamie past out.


When she woke up in the Hospital Wing that evening, she was a little surprised to find that she was being magically restrained from moving, that is until Madam Pomfrey started listing all the things wrong with her. Besides the missing bones in her arm, crushed pelvis, and broken shin bone, she had three cracked ribs, a half dozen fractured or broken vertebra, internal bleeding and a myriad of other issues the Mediwitch didn't feel like telling her about. Madam Pomfrey then released the restraints on Jamie's right arm so she could read and feed herself, telling the young witch that she'd best get comfortable as she'd be in bed for at least two weeks.

Jamie was in agony, trying to rest, when her bed bounced with the arrival of a visitor in the middle of the night.

"Dobby!" Jamie cried loudly, hoping to bring her unexpected visitor to Madam Pomfrey's attention.

"Harry Potter came back to school," Dobby whispered miserably. "Dobby warned and warned Harry Potter. Why did Harry Potter come here when she missed the train?"

"Missed the train? You mean you blocked the barrier!" Jamie yelled angrily.

"Indeed yes, miss," Dobby nodded vigorously. "Dobby hid and watched for Harry Potter and sealed the gateway, miss. Dobby had to iron his hands afterward," the little guy raised his bandaged hands, "but Dobby didn't care, miss, for he thought Harry Potter was safe, and never did Dobby dream that Harry Potter would go to school another way!"

"You'd better get lost before my bones heal, Dobby, or I might strangle you."

Dobby smiled weakly, "Dobby is used to death threats, miss. Dobby gets them five times a day at home."

"Not from me you haven't," she muttered darkly.

Dobby then turned slightly away and began to talk to himself, "Harry Potter must go home! Dobby thought his Bludger would be enough to-"

"YOUR BLUDGER!" Jamie shouted, "YOU MADE THAT BLUDGER TRY TO KILL ME?!"

"Not kill you, miss, never kill you," Dobby said sounding shocked. "Dobby wants to save Harry Potter's life! Dobby only wanted Harry Potter hurt enough to be sent home!"

"I don't suppose you would tell me why?"

"The Chamber of Secrets is open again. Harry Potter must leave! So noble… so valiant… Harry Potter must save herself." Just then the door to the infirmary rattled, and the little creature with the oversized green eyes said, "Dobby must leave," before snapping his bandaged fingers and disappearing.

Then both the door to Madam Pomfrey's office and the main door burst open simultaneously. Madam Pomfrey began to ask Jamie what she had been yelling about, when she noticed Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall levitating someone onto a nearby bed. The three then stood around discussing the situation and talking about how the Chamber of Secrets was indeed open again, but it sounded like the Headmaster knew who had opened it, but not how they had done so. When the three finally moved away from the bed, Jamie finally saw that it was Colin lying in the bed. She didn't really know him very well, but hoped he would be alright.

The following morning, Madam Pomfrey said she would relay Jamie's story about Dobby to the Headmaster and see about getting the house-elf blocked from the wards; but Jamie never heard anything back about how the Headmaster took the information.

-Author's Notes-

I feel bad for Jamie, I beat her up so much worse than JKR did Harry…

Anyway, I hope you like the various interactions here some of them may or may not have an impact later in the story.

Next time - The Dueling Club and Winter Break!

Like / Review / Whatever… till next time.