JUST READ.

/ Rose POV

Anya was quietly resting on my chest as we both lay together on the floor; my heart beat softly lulling her to sleep. She was a bit older than a month now and each day I learnt something new about her, about myself. I was so entranced by everything she did even if it wasn't much. I lightly stroked her hair, my fingers pulling at a few loose strands. She had so much hair when she was born. A trait that I knew had come from me.

I was always so worried I'd break her with my warrior hands – like a lioness carrying her cub in her mouth – I was so delicate every time I held Anya close to me. She made a small mewing sound and snuggled her face into my chest. I had amazed myself at how well I settled into motherhood. In the back of my mind I'd always been concerned that I'd get bored, or not have the patience to deal with a child but my determination to be there for Anya and I think my stubbornness meant I wouldn't fail. I couldn't fail. More than anything I wanted to be present for everything she did, when she walked, first day of school, first love – first heartbreak. I refused to be like my own mother. I wanted to watch her grow into an amazing woman and support Anya in everything she did, felt and experienced.

I sighed and closed my eyes, relaxing as Anya's small body kept me warm. A noise came from down the hall and immediately I tensed – my guardian reactions now stronger than ever since having Anya. Glancing at the entrance way I could see no outward sign of anybody there but after no other sound; I relaxed my body. A second knock came, this one slightly louder.

I looked to Anya, anxiety coursing through every fibre of my being. Who would be here? Lissa and Adrian always called. Who else knew I was here? I gently lifted Anya, trying not the jostle her too much and placed her on the rug. Rising, I stretched – preparing myself for what might occur.

I cautiously stepped to the entrance of the hall and again gazed at Anya. I had begun my training again but did I have the strength to protect her? Of course I did. No one was coming near me or my daughter and so I went to the door, bracing myself for the worst.

As I reached for the door handle a shiver ran through me, my grip on the door tightening. Something was off. I took a deep breath, composing myself for what lie on the other side. With insane speed I swung to door open, my eyes adjusting to the setting sun beaming behind the tall figure. Slowly, he came into focus. I stumbled back, lightly nudging the door closed. Dimitri. Dimitri stood before me. My whole body began to shake unable to process his presence. He reach forward slowly, hand wrapping around the door, easing it back open.

"Roza." His voice barely a whisper, the air between us so thick. I inhaled deeply, my hands moving along the wall, my eyes unable to look away from his figure. He stepped into my home and I realised that this wasn't a Strigoi. Dimitri was not Strigoi because the man before me was no longer muscular and intimidating, he was lean and covered in wounds on the bare skin showing through his clothing. Dimitri took another step towards me but this time I didn't shy away, I remained rooted to the spot.
"I don't…This…" for once in my entire life I was speechless. He nudged the door shut but never removed his gaze from me. His hair was still long and curled around his face, eyes as deep as I remember but they weren't ringed in red. They were human. Dimitri was human and standing before me.
"Where have you been?" It was all I could manage but even those few words were breathless, no power behind them. My mind couldn't comprehend what was occurring.

The silence between us was unnatural but as I looked at him, no more words were needed. Dimitri staggered towards me, hands using the wall for support. Slowly, his hands gripped my hips, his gaze so full of questions and longing. His grip became tighter, like I held him to the earth and gradually he began to move his hands up my waist to my hands. He studied them, turning my hands between his, flipping and interlocking our fingers. His touch so soft, it was as if he wasn't even there. Maybe this wasn't real, maybe this was just an illusion. A sick trick by Adrian. Then Dimitri moved my hands to his lips, a kiss so light as if he might bruise me. I didn't even realise but tears had begun streaming down my face.

Shock removed any thoughts of movement, frozen as he held me. Dimitri's eyes frantically looked over my body, his hands reaching for my face. His weight pushed me to the wall as his breathing became ragged. I don't know what but he was battling. Battling with something so I remained silent, relishing every touch. He struggled to remain standing, using my body as crutch. I continued to remain still, my hands clinging to his shirt. Was he real? Was this really the man who'd left?

My face became buried in his chest as Dimitri's hands went to my hair, tangling and twisting within the messy curls. I heard him breathe in deep, chest growing with my scent. I did the same, enveloping myself with his sweet aroma but it was marred and not how I remembered it. There was something unclean about it and I clenched my eyes shut trying to draw out the smells that were what I had craved for months, the smells that I thought were lost to me.

Dimitri's forehead rested against the top of mine, his nose now cold against my forehead. Unconsciously my grip on his shirt became tighter pulling him as close as possible, if we could be one in that moment, I would have made it possible. He pulled back slightly, his breathing still uneven and he stumbled, favouring his right leg. Gently he brought my face up to look upon his. Slowly Dimitri began tracing my features, my lips, cheeks, neck – his powerful fingers re-learning every facet me. His eyes followed each stroke, taking in every line like seeing it for the first time.

My eyes closed as his light touch brought back all my memories of him.
"No. Don't close your eyes" and his thumb moved higher, running along my eyebrows. "I want to see your eyes. Don't ever close them."
I snapped them open, tears now flowing uncontrollably. Dimitri's deep brown eyes never broke focus of my own, his soul pouring out from them as he held me. Suddenly he faltered, his body falling to the side. I held him as best I could, his mass no longer the large man I'd once known. Using the wall for support, he righted himself but remained silent – no sign of pain crossing his face as he continued to look down at me. All I saw was longing.
"Where have you been?" I repeated it over and over as he continued to silently explore me, always returning to my hair. Playing with it, smelling it – he had always loved my hair but something about the way he watched me was determined. Like I might disappear at any moment.

And then, she cried out. Anya.

Dimitri's face froze, his eyes wide with what seemed like fear. I looked down the hall and back to the man before me. I slid from underneath him, still keeping an arm around his waist.

"Dimitri?" I touched his face, bring his attention back to me and away from where the noise had come. He was still silent, worry and fear covering his features. How was I going to do this?
"Dimitri, I need to show you something."

He'd always been the silent type but his silence now was unnerving. I had no idea where he had come from, where he'd been, what had happened but whatever it was – he is not God like anymore. Not in the Guardian tough guy sense. I repeated my statement, trying to get the words to sink in.

"Okay" was all he responded with, reaching for the wall as he began to walk forward, leaving the safety of my arms. Even though he wasn't outwardly trying to show pain, he struggled but was determined to walk on his own.

I stepped ahead of him and led the way. My tears now dried and I was unusually tense and alert. Once at the entrance to the living area I looked to Anya and back to Dimitri. He'd paused, waiting for me to show him know what to do next. The fear still shone behind his eyes, his gaze so very unsure of what to expect. Reaching for his hand I help him in the living area, leading him to the couch. Doing so gave Dimitri his first look at Anya, her small body lay on the soft rug in the middle of the room; wriggling and looking for me.

I almost had to pull Dimitri along to the couch, his eyes and body frozen as he watched Anya's tiny body. Gently I eased Dimitri in the seat, and reached for his face, pulling his gaze to mine "Are you okay? I need to know" My protective instinct was in overdrive and as much as I loved Dimitri, my love for Anya was intense and seeing Dimitri, in the state he was – it terrified me that he might hurt my baby…our baby.

Dimitri considered my question for a moment and then relaxed, his body falling back into the seat, "Yes. I'm okay." His voice was shaky but he gave me no reason to doubt the sincerity of his words.

I stepped back and turned, leaning down to Anya. A noise escaped her small mouth as I raised her to my chest. Smiling into her hair I faced Dimitri, his face once again passive as he tried to keep his emotions in check. I covered the small distance between us and knelt in front of him, my hands enclosing Anya to my body. I felt her shuffle slightly and naturally I placed a kiss on top of her head. I looked back to Dimitri and began to hand our daughter to him.

So very slowly he reached for the little girl, his large hands positioned behind her body and head. He looked from me and to Anya before pulling her into his chest.

"Dimitri. This is Anya, your daughter." I reached forward and stroked her hair, then looked back to Dimitri.

His eyes were so full of amazement, his thumb lightly stroking Anya's chubby cheek. She rolled slightly, smushing her face into his chest. Dimitri lowered his head, again move towards her hair, just as he had me and breathed her in and then he broke. His body began to rack with sobs and he pulled Anya closer to his face, his heavy breaths upon her face. She moved her hands to her face but instead met Dimitri's, only heightening his reaction.

He was not hurting her, his hold on her still easy but he certainly wasn't letting her go anytime soon. Anya moved again, her squeaks becoming more distressed. Reaching forward, I put a hand on Dimitri's head, moving my own face so close I could feel the tears upon his cheek, "Dimitri, you need to calm down. You're scaring her."

His breathing became deeper as he tried to compose himself. He sat back, still holding the small child and began to rock her. So natural.

"I was taken from you and while I was held, all my thoughts were only of you. All I wanted was you Roza. You kept me alive but now," he looked to me and back to Anya, I was resting on his legs, observing his gentle rocks of Anya. "Now there's so much more I should have seen. So much more I should have known. This is why I didn't let go. She's why."

He leant back down to Anya and planted a kiss on her forehead.

/

Oh man. This was so hard to write! I wanted – no NEEDED it to be perfect and I don't even know if I got it across properly. I hope you could feel the intense emotion that I wanted to portray. Such a strong and powerful love.

Please review.

Love you all, Rahn