A/N: I tried my best for the explanation to make sense, but since this is from Hikaru's POV it's hard to really understand what Kaoru was thinking. So there will be more explanations and hints at it throughout the other chapters, as well.


There was no better feeling in the world than waking up with my twin in my arms. The fact that a certain brunette leech that I couldn't get rid of (because of the dramatic Host Club King who I, unfortunately, held a small bit of respect for) was bumming in our mansion hardly made a difference. I knew that Kaoru didn't like Kouichi, not enough for him to be a problem, but that didn't stop it from being irritating. My little twin wasn't a pushover and I knew that. He had a will that was probably stronger than mine, hence our recent confusing problems, and he wouldn't let Kouichi touch him unless there was something going on. And there had been. Kaoru had been avoiding me. That was all, right?

Then there was the twin in question. Things weren't alright yet, but they would be soon. We still had some talking to do, some questions that needed to be answered - like just why Kaoru had pushed me away. I had my theories, but he needed to say it with his own mouth.

I heaved out a sigh and squeezed my other half closer to me, burying my head in his neck. His breathing was even, but he had always been better at controlling himself than me. That's why people always deemed him the responsible one. Truth is, he was just a better actor when it came to masking his emotions. Sometimes I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not.

He didn't need to hide things from me. He never needed to hide things from me. So I'd make sure he didn't.

He shifted a bit and let out a yawn, alerting me to him being awake, but instead of pulling away to look at him I just squeezed him impossibly tighter, enjoying the warmth he gave off, and the feeling of him against me. He laughed quietly, his soft voice clear with amusement, and I couldn't help but smile. It was perfect like this. No words, no problems, no worries, just the two of us. That's all it took for me to be satisfied.

But like I settled, things weren't alright yet. They would be. Just not right now. So when Kaoru pulled away, not as coldly as his last times, and smiled hesitantly at me, I braced myself for what we had to get over with. He honestly looked a bit scared, his eyes heavy with guilt, but at the same time he wasn't running away. My little Kaoru was being brave.

I grinned at him, hands going out to pull him to me once again, not satisfied unless he was in my arms. We could talk like this. At least I thought so. He protested, letting out a little whine, but otherwise laughed again, his movements still laced with anxiety. So, taking on the role of responsible brother for once, I spoke first, "Kaoru?" He hummed a little under his breath as a reply, telling me he was listening, and I continued, heart pounding. "Why did you do it?"

He sighed against me, I felt it, before answering me shakily, probably resigned to the fact that I wasn't letting him get away. I was the stubborn one. "I.. Hikaru, do you understand what all of this means?" He paused for a few seconds, waiting for me to answer - though I didn't, instead nudging him to continue, "I love you. I always have, and because of that I-"

This time I interrupted him, a thoughtful frown turning my lips downward, pulling away just a bit to look into his eyes, arms still wrapped around him. "How long?"

"Huh?"

"How long is 'I always have'? How long have you known that you felt that way?" At the question he simply smiled, eyes glossy, puffing out an idle breath.

"I've known I loved you since we were children. We're twins, you know. But for feeling that way.. I knew a few years ago." I nodded at that, mentally cursing him for being such an observant and thoughtful person, yet physically pulling him closer once again, because I loved him despite it all.

"You're kind of stupid, Kaoru." He laughed, mumbling something along the lines of "Not as stupid as you" at which I bit down on his shoulder, proudly earning a gasp from him - which made me laugh. "Go on, then," I prompted, "Explain."

He rolled his eyes at me, biting his lip in amusement. "Whatever." He sighed, before smiling sheepishly once again. "It really wasn't a problem when I realized how I felt, because at the time it was just you and me. Us and them. There was no one else in our world. But when we joined the Host Club, things changed. Tono, the idiot that he is, opened up our worlds. He cracked our fairy tale and finally Haruhi came and dug her hands into that crack, prying us into reality. That really didn't bother me at first.. I still had you. But then I realized that you wouldn't move on with your life unless I.." He trailed off, drawing in a shaky breath. "You wouldn't actually live if I were here holding you back with my selfish feelings. I didn't care if people found out about me - that was fine - but your life would be ruined if I pulled you back into our world.. So I just stopped. I decided that you wouldn't make the first move, so I'd have to."

I was silent for a moment at that, running a hand through his hair comfortingly, waiting for him to stop shaking. And when he did I met his golden eyes resolutely, a slight glare on my face. "Idiot." Normally he was he one calling me that (and I really couldn't dispute it) but this just made me angry. The thing was, I wasn't even angry at him! I was just angry that he would think something like that! "You need to stop doing things like that, Kaoru. Why are you the one who gets to decide what I want? When did you start controlling where I wanted my life to go? I can think for myself. I know what I want."

He didn't meet my eyes, face ridden with guilt, but I continued anyways. "I want you. I've always only wanted you. Sure, our world has opened up a bit, but that's to be expected, right? It doesn't mean that I'm going to leave you. Nothing could make me leave you, idiot.. I love you, Kaoru. Didn't you realize that the first time I told you?"

He leaned his forehead onto my shoulder, one of his hands grabbing mine to soothe out the fist I hadn't even realized I'd clenched. "I'm sorry, Hikaru. Are you mad at me?"

"Yes." No. "But it's alright. It's alright now, it really is. Just stop thinking so much, okay? I'm the eldest, remember? Let me be a big brother and take care of you."

I swear I could hear him pout at that, "You're only older by a few minutes and you know it! That doesn't affect how mature you are. Besides, I don't want you to take care of me as a brother.. Just take care of me as the person you love, kay?"

I smirked, "But Kaoru, you are my brother still. You're my twin. You're the person I came into this world with, the person I've spent every day with, and the person that I love the most. You're mine. My Kaoru." Before he had a chance to respond to that, the door to the room swung open and Kouichi barged in, a sinister look on his less-than-perfect face. He was wearing different clothes than yesterday, though I hadn't seen him come with any luggage. The servants must have gotten him something to wear. When he saw the two of us embracing he glared even harder, not able to tell who was who at that moment, since we hadn't gotten dressed in different clothing like we normally do on off-days (we were actually both not wearing anything, but that was for another time), the blankets hiding everything but our chests.

So I stuck my tongue out at Kouichi (like the mature big brother I was) and turned back to Kaoru, smiling. Seems he knew what I was thinking, because this time he was the one who leaned forward and captured my lips, tongue diving in to explore.

We'd probably have gone farther, Kouichi be damned, if it hadn't been for our personal maids (who also happened to be twins) knocking on the already open door to alert us to their presence, expressionless aside from the small shine of amusement in their own eyes. They were probably Kaoru and I's favorite servants for the fact that we could somewhat relate to them.

"Excuse us, young masters," they began, the one on the right continuing, "but since you both slept in so late you missed breakfast." The shared a look, the one on the left talking, "We didn't want to interrupt you, since you seemed to have been fighting recently." Kaoru and I smirked at that, and I raised an eyebrow, motioning for them to continue. And they did, perfectly in sync in a way that was almost on par with Kaoru and I.

"You have a few guests downstairs. Lunch is served."