Chapter 10
My hands shook as I put my clothes in the wardrobe in Charles and I's bedroom. Charles was downstairs. I wasn't completely sure of what he was doing, but I was glad to have a few moments alone to come to terms with things. I took in a deep shuddering breath as I shut the French doors of the wooden wardrobe then looked around the room.
There was only one window, but it was of decent size and let in a fair amount of light. The bed sheets were white and the frame was a light colored wood that matched the wardrobes, the side table, and the wood around the large floor length mirror opposite the bed. Slowly, I walked over to the mirror and gazed at my reflection. I was finally out of my wedding dress and into a light green dress that fit my form well with a loose corset.
Frowning with disapproval I looked at my face in the mirror. Flaws were abundant, my nose was too pointed, the blemish on my cheek, the space between my eyes. I was uncertain as to why, of all women, why he would choose me. I was grateful, of course. My parents would be in good hands due to this arrangement and he was a pleasant man. I just couldn't help but question his eyesight.
It was then I remembered my mother's words, "Esme, God made you the way he did for a reason. Everything happens to his will, you'll see," she always said when I would question myself for various reasons. I sighed softly to myself. I suppose I would have to trust her.
"Esme, can you come down here for a minute. I need to show you something," Charles called from the base of the stairs. I didn't hesitate and went downstairs, curious to see what he wanted to show me. Hopefully it was something good and not something I would regret coming down to see. I wasn't sure how much playfulness was still left in him, but it wasn't uncommon for him to show me things like dead mice when we were children.
He smiled as I reached the bottom of the stairs and quickly covered my eyes with his hands, stepping behind me. "Do you trust me?"
I couldn't help but laugh, "Do I have a choice?"
"No," I could hear the smile in his voice as he slowly began to lead me through the house, keeping me up when I stumbled. It took only a minute or two to get to our destination and he stopped me, whispering in my ear, "I knew I'm taking you away from that tree you love…I hope this is any consultation."
Then he lifted his hands from my eyes, revealing a beautiful mahogany rocking chair. I gasped and couldn't help but trace the intricate design in the arm of the chair. "Oh, Charles…It's beautiful. Thank you," I replied, turning to face him, smiling. He smiled back.
"So, I take it you like it?" He asked.
I nodded as my smile grew, "I love it."
He smiled wider and took a step forward, erasing the distance between us as his arm snaked around my waist while his other hand captured my chin as his lips met mine. I tensed, not used to the close proximity, but quickly relaxed as he held me closer. He was so warm. It was an instant comfort to be pressed against him; our lips dancing in ways mine never have before. It wasn't until his hand ventured a little lower down my back that I pulled away. His arms were still wrapped around me, limiting my motion away as he stroked my cheek. "We should consummate our marriage, Esme."
I could feel my heart rate pick up as I panicked, "We can always wait awhile…" I replied, cursing my shaking voice.
Charles frowned as he looked down at me, "Are you afraid of me? Do you not want me?"
I quickly shook my head, "No, I do want you. I just…I wouldn't know what to do…I've never…" my voice continually broke with my fear, not from him, but from the action as my eyes danced around his face, never meeting his eyes.
His frown deepened and he gently took my chin in his hands, forcing me to look at him. "Esme, you don't have to be afraid when you're with me. I'll keep you safe. You don't have to know what to do, neither do I, but we'll figure it out together. Alright?" He asked his voice soft and endearing as his eyes melted me with their softness and concern.
I nodded softly. "Ok," was my meek reply.
He smiled gently and pressed his lips to mine once more, whispering against them, "I love you, Esme."
I could feel something stirring at the base of my stomach, something I'd never felt before as I looked into his eyes, my heart crying to understand the feelings that overcame me. They seemed to swirl around my head without any direct pattern or reasoning. There was no other phrase to describe the abundance of emotions as they poured from within me and I couldn't help but reply back with the only phrase that made sense, "I love you too, Charles."
With that he smiled and led me upstairs to our bedroom, where I spent my first night with him. The first of many.
