AN: Thank you everyone for the reviews :) I am sorry for the late update. I have been really busy. But I tried to make this chapter longer then my other chapters. I would try to update soon for you guys from now on. Here you all go another chapter. I hope you all enjoy! R&R

Thank you to my beta IHeartVA.

Disclaimers I don't own Vampire Academy or the characters, Richelle Mead does.

Chapter 11

I couldn't move my legs. The world just seemed to stop for me and I was just too shocked. The carriage flipped down the hill. Everyone was running towards the carriage. I wanted to move but I just could not.

I wanted to scream, say something, and just do something. But it was hard to do anything. I felt a pain rise in my chest and tears made their way down my cheeks.

All that was going in my head was, "Not him, oh please, not him." I wanted to run there and see his god-like face and know he was alright, but I know better. I won't see him there. I lost so many and I just can't lose him.

He is everything. My life. He is supposed to fight with me and save me from the evil king. We are supposed to raise our baby together. Our baby. I wrap my arms around my stomach, wanting to be close to Dimitri.

"Rose?" Victoria said. I couldn't do anything else. I was shaking my head, not believing that this was true. I wanted it to be a nightmare. I wanted to wake up and see Dimitri smiling down at me.

But I know this was not a dream.

"Rose, let's go there and see what's happening." Sydney said.

Sydney grabbed my arm and dragged me near the hill. We looked down. The carriage lay in the river and there was no sign of anyone. The guards were making their way down to save them. Horses were floating on the water, dead.

There was a body floating and by looking at the uniform, it was the driver.

The guards were all down by now and were swimming to get everyone out and see if anyone was alive. Eddie and Sasha were also down there and I wanted to go down too.

The thought about Dimitri being dead felt like several stabs in my chest. We all waited as Viktoria and Sydney kept telling me to sit down. I just could not do that. I waited and waited for the guards to get everyone out.

They had Adrian's men out, both of them dead. I waited for them to get Dimitri and Adrian out. No matter how much I hate Adrian, I still don't wish for his death. I wish for no one's death.

I got tired and my back was killing me so I sat next to Sydney on a rock and waited for the guards to come up and tell me that they got my Dimitri out and he is safe.

It felt like eternity, waiting to know what happened. I didn't want to hear bad news. I was not ready. I didn't want to lose him. If I lose him there is no way I would be able to survive.

Eddie and Sasha came up and Eddie kneeled down and looked me in the eye. He was soaking wet and there was sadness in his eyes. I knew what he was going to tell me and I did not wanted to hear it.

"Rose, Dimitri–

I cut him off.

"No, I don't want to hear. Just go and get him for me." I said.

"Rose he is not there." Eddie said.

"What do mean he is not there?" I asked him.

"We got everyone out, but his body was nowhere to be found. Sasha and I went a little farther to see if his body had drowned there. But we could not find his body." Eddie said.

"What do you mean you could not find his body? He is alive and I know it. You need to go back down there and get him for me." I said, not wanting to believe his words.

"Rose we have done what we could. He is not there, nor his body. We believe he has gone way to far. And the shore is way to deep. There is no way we can go that far. Rose you have to believe that he is no longer with us." Eddie said and I just kept shaking my head.

"No, he is alive and I know it. He can't leave me. He promised. I can't go on without him, I need him, I want him. Please Eddie, get him." I was begging him.

"Rose, there is no way we would be able to find his body. Sasha, Ashford, and I have gone way far down, almost half into the river and we could not find his body. It's too dangerous to go past from there because the water is very deep and have big fishes on the far side." Eddie said. I wanted to just go and look for him by myself.

"Please, Eddie you need to get him for me. I can't live without him. I have lost enough people and don't want lose him too." I said, grabbing his collar and shaking him.

"Rose, we will try once again for you. I am sorry, but you have lost him." He said and left. I walked back and saw the guards making their way down once again. I looked around and saw Adrian lying on ground while his guards tried to get him to wake up.

I said I wish for no one's death, but right now I was thinking: Why Dimitri? Why not Adrian? He is not good enough to live. But then the thought of his kids came to my mind and I was glad that he was alive, because kids need a father.

And then my heart ripped, because Dimitri won't be here for our baby. No, I know he is alive and he will be there for our baby. They didn't find him the first time, but the they will find him now.

I waited and waited for them to come back. I was getting tired and my eyelids started to close. I went back to the rock and leaned on Sydney's shoulder, letting sleep come to me.

I started having a dream. There was a little baby boy running around in the garden. He had long brown hair just like Dimitri, brown eyes just like me. He had Dimitri's smile, lips, and cheeks. I was sitting on the bench looking at him and smiling.

My belly was swollen and looked really big. I was pregnant with another baby. A man walked up from behind me. I knew he was not Dimitri. Dimitri was very muscular and his hair was different.

The boy yelled,

"Dada!" And the man picked him up and kissed him on the forehead. He turned around and flashed me a smile and I smiled back at him. It was not who I expected. Standing there, holding my son, was Adrian and my son was calling him dada.

"Rose?" Someone shook me.

"Rose, get up." It was Sydney. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was sitting in the carriage now and Eddie was sitting across from me. The carriage was moving and Eddie would not meet my eyes.

Viktoria was looking outside the window with tears in her eyes and I wanted some answers.

"Eddie?" I whispered.

"No Rose, we didn't find him. It's better you accept it now. He is dead. He is not coming back. We went farther this time and there was nothing. We were down there for three hours." He did not meet my eyes and I saw tears role down his cheeks.

Eddie and Dimitri were best friends. I wanted to cry and scream that he is not dead. I know he is not dead.

"Why are we moving?" I asked.

"Because it was not safe to make a stay there. It's all jungle and they have wild animals at night there. We will make a stay tomorrow night." He said.

"Rose you can't show that you are really affected by this. You have to be strong." Sydney said.

"Strong? Really Sydney? I can't be strong. You don't know what it feels like. I have lost everyone and I have lost the one person that mattered more to me than my own life.

"I have his baby growing in me. I love him and I can't go on without him. I have been strong since Baba and Mason died. But I can't be strong now.

"It hurts and it hurts a lot. I know he is alive and he will come back, but I can't show I am strong because I am not strong. It hurts me too much." I finished and I was crying now. I was not strong and I could not be strong right now.

And the dream also freaked me out. I was married to Adrian and my and Dimitri's son was calling Adrian his father and I was pregnant. I can never see myself with Adrian.

"Rose you need to know he is not coming back. I know it hurts and no matter how much we want to believe he is not dead, he is. I know you love him and it hurts you a lot but you have to be strong. One, for your baby. Second, if the king found out about you two and your pregnancy, he will have all of us killed and take over the kingdom. Third, Dimitri would have not want this. He would have wanted you to be strong and brave." Eddie said.

"But I can't. It's too hard and I don't want marry the king." I said.

"Rose, I know and he wouldn't have wanted you to marry him either. But there is no choice anymore. When we were coming back up from the cliff, just to take a break and would go back for another search, he stopped us.

"He said there is no point because if he was down there we would have found him. He was right there. But what I saw in his eyes was something really evil. Sasha, Ashford, and I don't believe that the carriage just fell by accident. There was something going on in the carriage before flipping and his lords were stabbed.

"I am not sure what happened but the king had bruises formed on his face. And we all know how good Dimitri is at swimming. He would have gotten out without a problem. He can hold his breath in water for a long time.

"All I know is that he was injured or was unconscious when the carriage flipped. Because it's hard to believe that he just drowned like that. Deep down I know he is alive and I think he will come back. But we have to be strong and show that he was just another guard.

"I know it will be hard for you. But you have to do it. We are alone in this fight right now and we have to wait. We have to get out from the king's hold. And there is no way we can do that right now.

"He has way too many guards right now and we are only three guards with no captain and three girls with you pregnant. We just have to wait and watch what will happen." Eddie finished and I let everything sink into me.

He was right. We have to be strong. He is right that Dimitri just couldn't drown like that. He is the best swimmer in Turkey and can hold his breath for a long time in the water.

He believes that Dimitri would come back and I believe it too. I am going to wait for him and be strong and fight Adrian. We still have five weeks and everything can change.

AN: So what do you guys think about it? Good? Bad? Please comment!

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