Shinigami Women's Society

By bleached.dragon

Bleached: Hello! I've been on hiatus for a while, but I'll make it up to you with a very special story that launches a several-pronged attack on Soul Society. Thanks for all of you who read my foray into D.Gray-man fanfic; this one is dedicated to you. If any of you readers you want a dedication, PM me with a good idea, or just PM me.

Rukia: Are we still being including in these notes?

Bleached: Oh! Rukia! Goodie!

Rukia: Is that response normal? Or should I run?

Bleached: … this is what you get for being nice…

Rukia: Since when have you ever been nice?

Bleached: Ouch. Oh—snaps fingers—and if you PM me with a lame joke, I'll have Rukia tell it…

Rukia: WHAT?

Bleached: Anyway, in this arc may span a few parts…

March 12th Meeting

Topic: Dancing with the Shinigami/On true love/Super Hinamori

Nanao walked uncomfortably into the meeting room of the Shinigami Women's Society Headquarters, sat down stiffly and put her face in her hands. The other members were at a loss until Hinamori realized that Nanao was blushing.

"Nanao?"

Before they could interrogate the unfortunate Vice President, Yachiru skipped into the room and dragged her trademark crate to the podium and hopped into view. She pulled out a stick with a piece of chalk attached to it and wrote in squiggly letters, "Dancing with the Shinigami!"

The response was loud and unanimous, "WHAT?"

Nanao groaned and buried her head deeper in her uniform.

"We're doing a dance competition," chimed Yachiru, tapping the board to illustrate her point, "You'll do it in groups and you have to do it with a guy!"

The second response was similar to the first, "WHAT?"

Yachiru held up a copy of Ballroom Dancing Weekly, "See? It says here!"

Rangiku frowned, "Since when has the vice captain of 11th Company been reading Ballroom Dancing Weekly?"

Rukia blushed and mimicked Nanao's pose, her voice muffled, "After she raided Nee-sama's mailbox…"

The third response was even louder, "WHAT?"

Yachiru sighed, wondering if her fellow society members needed hearing aids, after all, they were all at the turn of a century, "D-A-N-C-E-C-O-M-P-I-T-I-O-N," she enunciated.

"No way!" Hinamori made for the door, for it was her misfortune to have two left feet.

Yachiru hadn't finished though, "W-I-N-N-E-R-G-E-T-S-A-C-A-S-H-P-R-I-Z-E."

"Okay, we're in," Rangiku spoke for the rest of the society.

They all dashed for the door, deciding to find some unfortunate shinigami to go though dance steps with.

Yachiru stood by herself at the podium and watched them go, she then clicked open a secret compartment to her trusty crate and pulled out a bottle.

Hinamori, after dashing towards 10th Company at full speed, remembered belatedly that she had forgotten the Aizen mask that she carried by her heart. She grimaced and shot back towards meeting room.

She opened the door a crack and saw the President eating some kind of pill.

Yachiru eating a mysterious white pill! She stared in shock. I need to investigate!

Hinamori pulled out a butterfly half mask that she had been making for Shiro-chan. "SUPER HINAMORI TO THE RESCUE! BRINGING JUSTICE TO PILL EATING MIDGETS NEAR YOU!" She sprinted down the hall, "I should get some more evidence first… so, ON TO 11TH COMPANY!"

Yachiru swallowed the last of her multivitamins and wondered what the ruckus was out there. She shrugged and replaced the bottle, skipping out the room thinking, "Pretty soon, I'll be as tall as Ken-chan!"

Rukia is standing in font of a giant whiteboard in a half demolished news studio with Renji. The camera pans to a shot of her face, she smiles, "Hello Soul Society, this is News Channel Shinigami. I'm Rukia Kuchiki."

Renji sighed, "You're not doing it right!"

Rukia punched him through another wall, "HOW AM I NOT DOING IT RIGHT?"

Apparently from the sorry state of the broadcasting room, they had been at it for a while.

"You're wearing bunny slippers!" growled Renji, rubbing his head.

"So?" retorted Rukia.

Renji sighed, "Whatever, just get on with the piece…"

Rukia grinned triumphantly and began, "Today, resident Yachiru Kusajishi has began what she is calling, the Annual Yachiru Dance Event…"

Before she could finish, Super Hinamori burst through the door and into Rukia's newscast.

The two aspiring newscasters stared at Super Hinamori in shock. Renji muttered something indistinguishable, growled and burst out, "What is with that OUTFIT?"

Super Hinamori had dyed her hair brown, cut it and slicked it back. She was wearing a fifth Company Captain's robe. "Shh!" she hissed, covering Renji's mouth, "I'm under cover!"

Rukia grinned, thinking Hinamori had really gone down the deep end this time, "Right, like an Aizen costume is totally inconspicuous, Hinamori."

Super Hinamori grimaced, "Don't say my real name! They'll hear you! Then they'll have power over me!"

Renji grimaced, "Who? What?"

Super Hinamori looked around cautiously, "… for now, call me SUPER HINAMORI!" She yelled the last part and augmented it with a war whoop.

"… SUPER HINAMORI-chan?" Rukia attempted to catch her attention, "Who is chasing you anyway?"

"They!"

"We need more than a pronoun you know."

"ARG! It's YOU-KNOW-THEM!" (bleached: Whoo! Bad Harry Potter joke… Rukia: Jeez, you're ripping off a lot of stuff, aren't you?)

"We do?" Renji looked confusedly at Rukia.

"Was that even grammatically correct?" echoed Rukia.

"You know them?" asked Hinamori in genuine shock, "Gasp!" she cried, "You must be my enemies too! Blast!" She flung a cabbage at them and ran off.

The two newscasters looked at each other. Rukia covered her eyes, "Why is there a fuse sticking out of the cabbage?"

Renji shrugged, "No idea, but I do know that we have our 6 o'clock news slot filled."

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COUGH!" Super Hinamori stuck her head back in the room.

Yachiru sprinted down the hallway of 11th Company, dragging a less than excited Ikkaku and babbling about dancing. She dragged the 3rd seat through the maze of hallways until, all of a sudden, the ceiling buckled and collapsed on them, Ichigo and crew falling on the unsuspecting duo, just as Ikkaku had whipped out a sword in an attempt to convince his vice captain to decide on a sword dance instead.

So, as Ichigo came sailing down into 11th Company, he nearly had a near death incident. And then five seconds later, when he rounded the corner, he nearly had another near death incident at the hands of one, Zaraki Kenpachi, who proceeded to chase after him yelling war cries.

Yachiru's eyebrow twitched, but before she could join the chase, an enthused Orihime, who was clutching a typewriter, intercepted her.

Orihime swayed under the weight of her writing device and cheerily greeted the chibi shinigami.

Ikkaku stared; he knew that the ryoka girl had strange habits that included swinging leeks to polka music (bleached: someone made this continuous loop image of Orihime swinging a leek to polka music and she and the polka became even more famous…), but this?

Ishida sighed, "If you want to know about the typewriter, Orihime thinks that's it's romantic."

"Romantic?" Ikkaku watched Orihime nearly topple over as she dropped the typewriter, while trying to pen down another sentence and the entire contraption flew through the floor and nearly killed Maki-Maki, who spent the next few weeks in a fetal position sobbing, "Why?"

Chad grunted, "She's writing the great Japanese novel."

"The great…" Ikkaku shuddered.

"Actually, the typewriter is better than what she had earlier," commented Ishida, "she got this idea that she should pen the novel in calligraphy and re start whenever she made a mistake…" (bleached: Actually, J.R.R. Tolkien did this…)

Ikkaku had never considered Orihime particularly sane, but didn't really think she was that crazy, after all, he had a psychotic, pink haired, chibi for a vice captain, but seriously, she actually, like, wrote stuff. The 3rd seat shuddered.

While Super Hinamori was off fighting for justice, someone else had gotten to her dance partner of choice, someone who had no choice but to return to 10th Company anyway, someone named Rangiku Matsumoto.

"Come on Captain!" she wined, "It'll be a lot of fun!"

"Fun is for kids," Toshiro replied stoically.

"Nuh-uh," Rangiku pouted, "I'm not a kid… although you are."

"Stop calling me a kid."

Rangiku's face turned serious, "You know captain…"

"What?" Toshiro replied wearily.

"You really do sound like a kid."

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Te-he, sorry Captain… but I'll take that as a yes…"

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Let's do a ballet."

"MATSUMOTO!"

"No? A tango then…"

Toshiro covered his eyes and wondered what kind of toxic potion Mayuri might sell him.

Bleached: Okay, since a lot of things have been going on… our sweet, sweet Nanao-chan will give us the recap.

Nanao: Okay, this is what has happened:

1) Yachiru starts a dance competition.

2) Hinamori sees Yachiru eating multivitamins and fears the worst.

3) Hinamori goes off the deep end.

4) Rukia and Renji hunt for a 6 o'clock news story.

5) Yachiru makes Ikkaku her dance partner.

6) Ichigo and gang show up.

7) Ichigo gets chased off by Kenpachi.

8) Orihime drops a typewriter through the floor while trying to write the great Japanese novel.

9) Matsumoto and Toshiro become dance partners.

Bleached: Okay… as you kind of noticed… that was a lot of random stuff…

Super Hinamori: Random stuff? This looks like a job for SUPER HINAMORI!

Bleached: Okay, anyway, I'll try to get the next part up soon, so wait for it and check out Hinamori's next wacky outfit.

Rukia: You're seriously not going to go through with the joke thing, are you?

Bleached: I totally forgot, PM me with an idea and if I use it, I will dedicate the chapter I use it in to you… and if you PM me with a joke, lame or otherwise, I will make Rukia tell it… Okay, Bye now.