Authors' Note: The title for this chapter is from the song Serial Killer by Lana Del Rey.

...We are so sorry for the long wait. Life has been rough.


Furious Angels I: Nameless Here Forevermore

Chapter 11: Love You Just A Little Too Much


Light wasn't really looking forward to seeing Misa – he never did – but it was still a relief to think that he would finally have a chance to speak to her, to make absolutely certain that she understood not to take any action against L or the other task force members just yet (not even that obnoxious teenaged computer consultant, since he had thus far been unable to determine the boy's actual name and he'd already left the day before). No matter how loyal she was, there was always a prickle of worry at the back of his mind; she'd already shown during the Yotsuba case that she was willing to disobey his orders if she thought it would ultimately benefit him, and that was dangerous.

But at least no one had argued when he'd suggested taking Misa on a date. It wasn't an unreasonable request, after all, given how infrequently he spent time with her.

He and Misa had arranged a number of coded phrases long before their incarceration, and it had been a simple matter to convey to her that their date was intended to be business, not pleasure – but of course, that did absolutely nothing to lessen her enthusiasm when Light had proposed the outing. When it came to their "relationship," Misa was nothing if not optimistic.

Of course, he didn't expect their date to go unobserved. L would almost certainly send someone to keep watch on them, probably under the guise of monitoring his safety. That was precisely why Light didn't argue when Misa suggested going shopping in Shibuya before dinner – the longer their date, the more opportunity he would have to identify their chaperone, and the more chances there would be to slip Misa a message without being observed.

Misa was waiting for him just outside the security checkpoint when Light came downstairs. In spite of the Shinigami's greeting, he was careful not to let his gaze wander to Ryuuk, who hovered leering just behind Misa's shoulder.

He smiled for Misa's benefit, aware of the ceiling-mounted cameras watching them, and spread his arms just enough to allow her to hug him. "I've missed you," he lied, still smiling as he pulled back to look down at her.

The expression of pure adoration that overtook her face at his words was almost frightening to behold. She threw herself into Light's arms hard enough that he staggered back a step. She snuggled her face to his chest, eyes closed, smiling blissfully. "Oh Light..." She squeezed tighter. "I'm so glad that you're better. In the hospital..." She relaxed slightly, opening her eyes a little, her smile fading by a few degrees. "It was scary... But come on," she exclaimed as she abruptly shifted gears, releasing him from the embrace and taking his arm. "If we want any time to shop we'd better not miss the early train."

She kept talking, as they walked, but kept her babble innocuous, asking Light how he'd been, how everyone else was, how Ryuuzaki was holding up (with a tangent about how she could understand him being upset, because when her parents died she'd alternated between mourning and crying, and being angry and screaming, for just weeks, and it was kind of the same, wasn't it?). Light allowed Misa to steer the conversation, responding as necessary but not paying much attention to her chatter - it was easy enough to answer her frequent, pointless inquiries on autopilot without giving anything away, either to anyone who might be watching them or to Misa herself. He ignored Ryuuk's occasional interjections entirely.

Misa waited until they were in Shibuya a block away from the train station - Ryuuk still drifting along behind - before she quietly asked, still smiling as she looked up at him just in case anyone was watching, "You buried them, didn't you? What's he going to do? Why hasn't he said anything yet?"

Light addressed the first and simplest question with a slight nod, using the motion to glance aside so that Misa might notice who was tailing them - he'd spotted Weddy rather easily back at the train station. Either she was doing a terrible job at blending in amongst the crowd, or – more likely – she didn't care if he saw her.

There was every likelihood that Weddy could lip-read, given what Light knew of her skill set, and so he said nothing more about L for another block, instead directing the conversation towards window-shopping. Misa was being remarkably unsubtle about pointing out items in the window displays they passed – probably trying to give him hints about what to buy her for Christmas – and he needed her to seem enthusiastic about the shopping she'd wanted to do.

They stopped in front of the main window of a large jewelry store. The display featured scenes of holiday marriage proposals and couples opening presents, the women's faces alight with joy as they unwrapped diamond-encrusted pendants and glittering earrings, the men smiling and leaning in for a kiss after receiving a watch or a set of cufflinks. Light had received at least one such gift of overpriced cufflinks (or a money clip, or a wallet, or a tie pin) for Christmas every year since he was nine, and was less than keen to receive more from Misa, given the attached social obligation to wear them often in honor of the giver. But this was the chance he'd been waiting for.

"That could be us in a few years," he remarked, trusting Misa to jump to the obvious conclusion herself, since she was standing directly in front of a half-dozen sparkling engagement bands. Light slipped an arm around her shoulder, leaning his head against hers so that his mouth was close to her ear. She smelled like perfume and hair-styling product. "Listen," he murmured, the slight edge in his voice warning her to focus. "Rem's dead."

The wide smile on Misa's face faded and she began to blink rapidly, her gaze remaining frozen on the enchantment of her reflection appearing to wear a particularly expensive ring. Nobody had said a word about Rem since... that day, not even Ryuuk, and it obviously had to have been Rem that had killed the old man and tried to kill L. Only it hadn't worked with L somehow, which she'd never heard of before. Rem had even said that wasn't possible, so maybe it was something she hadn't known. Rem hadn't known how to kill a Shinigami before Gelus had died in front of her, after all. There were things Shinigami didn't know. Either Rem had decided that she had to kill to save Misa's life, or she'd fallen victim to something else; maybe that had to do with L surviving...

But whatever had happened, she was gone. Misa would never see her again, and that hurt; Rem had been her best friend, for a while. Somebody who'd never be unhappy with her no matter what she said or did, who even stood by Misa when Misa didn't remember who she was and couldn't even see her. She'd never been far away and had always followed and always been ready to talk and always stood behind the photographers so that Misa could give her biggest smiles. Rem had been a perfect shiny white guardian angel that had saved her life just by coming to her, always faithful no matter what she'd ever been through - and she only had one eye and it was hurt not grown that way because it was bandaged, and now Misa would never get to ask what Rem really had been through, because Rem was with little Gelus that Misa had never even known was her guardian angel too.

Not knowing things was suddenly more awful than ever.

After a long moment, Misa abruptly turned and buried her face in Light's chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. She held her breath to try to keep from crying; it wouldn't do to ruin her makeup this early. It only partially worked and a few tears squeezed out anyway, particularly after Light's arms came to rest around her shoulders. But she was very good and didn't sob, only gasped a few times.

"Thank you," she whispered, then coughed and sniffled and moved back a little, lifting her head. It was terribly nice to be in Light's arms like that, with her head right under his chin, but it was unseemly. Light was so wonderfully kind to deal with such behavior in public; at least a quick glance about showed that no one nearby was really looking, at least. Weddy was staring intently at a store window half a block down the street (the display of which was full of Hello Kitty merchandise) - and that was Aiber with her standing back and looking tolerant, wasn't it? - and another man quickly looked away and walked off onto a side street, but that was all.

So she tried to smile and sniffled again, dabbing at her eyes with one hand, the tears already cold on her fingers as she looked up a little into Light's face. "Thank you," she said again, her voice stronger, her smile becoming unwavering. She lowered her head a little so that her face was hidden from view by Light, and added softly, "Misa-Misa will really miss her." And she quickly wiped away more tears.

It wasn't as bad, she told herself. She hadn't had to see Rem die like she'd seen her parents die. But then, she hadn't gotten to say goodbye either.

"There's a restroom down this way," she said, indicating a narrow street that had been roofed over and filled with more storefronts. "I need to make sure my makeup's all right." Still smiling, she winked and took Light's hand and led the way.


Weddy and Aiber made sure to hang back sufficiently, but Light and Misa picked up their pace, turning into a covered street. "Are they trying to lose us?" Weddy grumbled, scowling.

Aiber patted her hand on his arm, smiling as though speaking to calm an upset lover. "I don't think so, but it wouldn't hurt to step up the pace -"

"Says the man not wearing high heels." She huffed through her nose, teeth clenched.

"If it makes you feel better I'll wear heels next time, honey."

"Shut up." She so much preferred something with a rubber sole - not these slippery things. They were lovely but she'd had to buy them in a hurry and they weren't her usual. "I'm a thief, not a model. How does anyone walk in these things..."

"There." Aiber nodded to where Light was standing idly in front of a postered wall between shops down the brightly lit street street.

Weddy hooked down her tinted cat-eye glasses with one gloved finger. "Where's Amane?"

"There's a restroom. She's probably in there." He slowed their pace. "Go see."

"What?" Weddy glared at him over the top of her frames. "They'll see me."

"It hardly matters; they've got to know we're keeping an eye on them." Aiber narrowed his eyes. "Besides, he's oblivious." Were Yagami's lips moving? He couldn't get a good look. He glanced at his partner. "And Amane fooled Mogi by going into a restroom on her own before, remember - this why you're here. Just... try looking like a tourist instead of a disgruntled harpy."

She turned to the slightly shorter man and smiled sweetly. "You're going to wind up with laxatives in your coffee one of these mornings." She patted him on the shoulder and turned to walk away. "You and L both."


Light left for his date with Misa with the air of a man heading for his own execution. L barely seemed to acknowledge Light's exit, and remained exactly where he was - half-perched with his feet on the first rung of his chair, staring intently at his laptop screen.

But the moment Light left, L began to fidget.

From his position on the sofa, Mogi, who for the evening had taken over the duty of monitoring L in case of attack by Kira, glanced up. He said nothing, however, until L got to his feet.

"Ryuuzaki?"

The detective stepped into his new sneakers - they'd yet to be broken in, so it took him a moment of wiggling to get them on comfortably without untying them. "I want to go out to the grocery before they close," he explained, pulling his coat from the closet. "I'd like to make caramel apples tonight, I think. I haven't for a few years and they're in season."

"Someone can go for you," Mogi suggested. It wasn't like L to want to go out at all, in his experience - it set off warning bells. Perhaps this was strange behavior due to Kira-

"I'd like the walk, I think, too," L went on, tucking the scarf that he now hardly ever seemed to remove more securely about his neck. "Are you coming?"

Mogi breathed a sigh of relief, almost jumping to his feet - he should have realized. "Of course."

It was only a few blocks' walk to the nearest small grocery store, and while it wasn't raining, it was cool enough that their breath fogged. L seemed content to conduct the trip in silence - one of the reasons he'd requested Mogi to take Light's place for the evening was that the man was gifted with reticence himself.

Still, L found himself making a bit of a show of choosing apples, the way he would have had Light been there. "Red Delicious are all right, but... Granny Smith are too tart, Fuji too soft - ah, here, Gala. Perfect." He chose a half dozen and dropped them into the bag Mogi held out, then considered for a moment and added a half dozen more. "That should do. Now. Caramels and whipping cream..."

Mogi made a slight sound, and L glanced at him, almost defensive. "What."

"Nothing." The older man was smiling, just a little. "I shouldn't be surprised that you know a recipe by heart, that's all."

L hunched his shoulders a little more, turning away as he spoke and leading the way into the candy aisle. "We used to make them every year for my birthday. Something unusual to do, since I had cake so often."

"It's your birthday?"

"No." L chose a half-dozen boxes of caramels as well; it wasn't as though the extras wouldn't be put to good use. After considering for a moment - staring blankly at the shelves with a finger to his lips - he decided it was safe enough and added, "That was the thirty-first. We were busy."

Mogi grunted, his slight surprise fading. "When you say 'we', you mean yourself and Watari."

L had just turned away to head for the dairy case, but turned back, perhaps a little sharply. "I meant the task force in general," he said, though his eyes spoke a little differently.


The slick-soled heels clacked as Weddy carefully walked into the tiled restroom - a row of tastefully closed stall doors separated by a partition wall from a row of mirrors and sinks, decorated in pinks and greens. It seemed deserted until she caught a sniffle from the stall on the end, barely perceptible over the piped-in music.

She glanced about, then bent enough to glimpse the boots she knew Amane to be wearing beneath the stall door. It was definitely her.

There was a sound that could be nothing other than a hiccoughing sob.

Weddy's brow furrowed. After a moment more, she stepped closer to the door and gently knocked. "Um... are you okay? Do you need a tissue?"

There was a pause, then another sniffle. "Um. Yeah, thanks, Weddy."

The woman froze with her hand in her purse. "How did you -"

"Your shoes." Misa sniffled again. "I saw earlier. They match your coat great but you don't look comfortable in them."

"They're kind of slippery."

"Call me sometime, we'll go find you some better ones." She sighed. "Also a Japanese woman wouldn't have intruded."

Weddy grimaced, handing a travel pack of tissues over the top of the door. "Oh."

"S'ok, you're just obviously not Japanese."

"And here I thought the hair gave it away."

Misa couldn't help but laugh, which made Weddy feel better, oddly enough. God, but she was going to catch it for this; they weren't supposed to have made contact. "So are you ok?" She asked - in for a penny, in for a pound, after all. "Did Yagami-"

"What? No!" Misa was clearly aghast at the idea that her upset could be caused by her beloved. "No, it's nothing like that! It's just that... he asked me to marry him!"

Weddy blinked and raised her eyebrows at the stall door separating them. "He what?"

"Well, it's not official; he hasn't been able to get a ring yet with everything that's been going on," Amane continued, speaking fast. "He said when things calmed down he'd propose properly."

"He... what?"

"And it's all been so rough with everything going on, I couldn't help crying. I'm so happy!"

"Huh." Weddy tilted her head one way, then the other, considering, then shrugged. "Well... congratulations."

"Thanks!"

"If you're okay then... pretend this never happened."

Misa laughed again. "Sure."

"Keep the tissues."

"Thanks!"

Weddy left the bathroom, shoes tapping on the tiles again; as she turned she slipped, but caught herself on the wall, gritting her teeth and making her way out. Yagami was across the street, checking his watch, and she walked quickly away so that he wouldn't notice her.

"Hey there," Aiber said, coming up beside her and taking her arm again. "You okay? You look like you got rolled."

"Yeah, she..." Weddy blinked. This was just surreal at this point. "She said that Yagami proposed to her."

"Really?" Aiber's eyebrows raised as well. Considering that they weren't actually supposed to make contact, that was odd. "...Did you believe her?"

"I think... you know what, I don't know." Weddy shook her head.

"Huh." Aiber nodded as though in approval. "Good girl."

"Excuse me?"

"Not you." Misa had been an excellent student, after all, if she could throw someone who knew as much about her as Weddy.


Light had almost regretted his bluntness for a moment, when Misa's small frame heaved a little in his arms - he supposed he should have expected an emotional reaction, given Misa's general tendencies toward such, but it just hadn't occurred to him that Rem... mattered at all to anyone. He certainly wouldn't be upset to lose Ryuuk (save for the Shinigami's occasional usefulness, anyway). But at least if anyone noticed her wiping her eyes, the stress of recent events could be blamed; it was quite common for people to react emotionally in perfectly normal situations after trauma, after all.

While waiting outside the restroom for Misa, who seemed to be taking an unusually long time, Light wondered if he ought to have been more tactful. Surely he could have afforded the subject of Rem's death a few more words despite the risk of being overheard, but he hadn't thought that Misa would care so much – if he'd known she would be so upset, he would have at least said he was sorry (whether he meant it or not). Still, they had to be careful – even if L knew just about everything at this point and seemed disinclined to act on that knowledge, the rest of the task force was still a threat. It was almost funny; right now, L was really the least of Light's worries.

"Losing your touch, buddy?"

Light couldn't quite suppress the scowl that wanted to form as Ryuuk's face suddenly appeared immediately next to his own. The Shinigami was hovering over his shoulder like a particularly large and irritating raven.

"Oh, piss off," Light muttered into the folds of his sleeve as he smoothed a hand over his face. He was in no mood for Ryuuk's teasing lately – lacking the freedom to respond to it openly tended to have that effect. Ryuuk, however, was oblivious to his mood (or simply didn't care, which was at least an equally likely possibility) – the Shinigami's gravelly laughter was his only response.

Maybe later he'd get a chance to tell Misa more of what had happened. Light supposed he ought to – the fewer questions she felt it necessary to ask, the better, in the long run. Maybe they would get a chance over dinner, since the cover noise of a restaurant ought to sufficiently confuse any audio recordings.

"You know she's crying in there, right?" Ryuuk added, the suddenness of his comment prompting Light to glance over. He immediately wished he hadn't. Ryuuk had clearly just been sticking his head through the wall to check on Misa, given the way he'd contorted himself to speak to Light without half his face disappearing into the plaster.

Alright, they were going to have to lose the third wheel for a while. His nerves just weren't up for this, and besides, he wanted to know what L was doing in his absence. Now how to tell Ryuuk to leave without being noticed...

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting!" Misa exited the restroom with refreshed makeup and a cheerful smile. "We still have time before our reservation, don't we? There's some shops I want to check out if we go this way."

She took Light's arm again, but for a moment her gaze flicked up to Ryuuk hovering next to him and let her smile be for the Shinigami too. It'd been really sweet of him to check up on her, she thought, even if his face appearing through the wall had been a bit of a surprise. She was pretty used to it now.

The stores that Misa wanted to investigate turned out, somewhat predictably, to be some trendy men's clothing shops. She pulled Light along, holding shirts up to him with a coy smile to see how they looked. "I think you look wonderful in black," she said, keeping up her chatter as she headed for a rack of unnecessarily studded and strapped denim jackets of varying shades. She pulled one out and her smile genuinely broadened. "This would look wonderful with that red shirt from the other shop! You could wear a black choker and unbutton the collar..." She giggled, blushing and looking away and neglecting to mention that the ensemble would match one of her own plaid-skirted outfits.

Keeping up the facade of appearing thoughtful and tolerant instead of disinterested was more difficult than he remembered; Light supposed he'd become too used to openly expressing his displeasure with L.

Weddy and Aiber were still trailing, mostly out in the streets rather than entering the small shops, but they were nothing to worry about. Their presence was part of an established routine, one that had been in place too long for L to deviate from it without the suspicion of the task force. Ironically, L was now as much a prisoner of the rules he'd set for the investigation as Light was. It was actually rather satisfying to know that.

"I think a choker might be a bit much for me," Light said as he eyed Misa's latest clothing selection, putting on a hint of an awkward smile that in no way reached his eyes. He wasn't about to tell her what he really thought – that this sort of fashion was ridiculous in the extreme, a waste of good money, and served no purpose other than to allow pretentious teenagers the illusion of rebellion without any of the risk, commitment, or purpose associated with the real act. It was stupid. But it was also an excuse to slip into the changing room where he couldn't be directly observed.

"What about this?" he asked, after a moment of pretending to consider a jacket similar in color and overall design to the one Misa had suggested – the primary difference was the lack of unnecessary spikes in places likely to cause snags. Turning it around to fully inspect it himself, Light discovered that the back was covered by a large, deliberately distressed overlay, cut and embroidered to resemble wings, with snaps running along the outer edges so that the wings could be either secured flat to the body or allowed to flap around stupidly (and probably catch on anything that got near them, just like everything else in the store, apparently).

"I'll admit, this isn't the kind of thing I'd usually wear..." He was never going to live this down and he knew it; there would be no easy way out of the hole he was digging for himself, but it was a necessary sacrifice. Light steeled himself. "But if you think it looks alright, I'll go see how it fits."

Misa beamed at Light as though he really had proposed to her. "I'll wait right here!" she chirped as Light disappeared into the fitting room with a key from the clerk. The shop's politely spaced speakers drowned out all sound from the slat-doored fitting rooms with music in a style befitting the clothing.

Misa turned once Light was in the fitting room, glimpsing a sweep of blonde hair disappearing behind another of the tall racks that made the interior of the store a maze. She wondered if L meant Weddy and Aiber to be bodyguards or to keep them out of trouble or both. She hadn't really meant it to be a double date but if they were there... well, she could always pretend she hadn't noticed them, since Weddy had wanted her to pretend they hadn't talked.

She looked back at the fitting room, hoping that Light would come out and model the jacket for her. She hadn't asked him to so he might not think to. She wished she'd asked him.

She flipped through racks a bit more, using the cover of checking tags on the top tier of one to look up at Ryuuk hovering next to her and smile. He'd been hanging around her a lot lately, she knew, but Light could definitely handle himself. Most of the time. And it was good to have somebody around to talk to and play video games with even if he didn't seem to care about how she looked; it wasn't as though Rem had been vocal about that either. At least he watched her dramas with her and talked about them, even if his take on things was totally different from Rem's. He tended to wander off on his own more than Rem had too. But it was still good. He'd probably not said anything about Rem because he'd thought it would hurt her feelings, or Light had thought he should the one to want to break it to her instead. Probably the latter. That just made Ryuuk a good friend too.

The song on the speakers changed to something more minor-key and Misa thoughtfully bit the inside of her lip. These weren't the sort of lyrics she'd put to something so wistful-sounding at all...

"I'll go see what's taking him so long," Ryuuk announced, disappearing over in the direction of the fitting rooms. Misa didn't turn around, though some tags near her fluttered as though there'd been a gust of wind.

"What took you so long?" Light hissed as the Shinigami materialized partly through the fitting room wall. He was already beginning to shrug out of the jacket; he'd actually tried it on, just for veracity's sake, and it had looked exactly as silly as he'd thought. But rather than wait for a reply, Light continued, "Go check on L. I need to know what he's up to."

"You sure you want me to do that?" Ryuuk began, leering, but caught the downward twitch of the corner of Light's mouth – which he recognized as the precursor to "no more apples" - and raised his hands defensively. "Alright, alright, I'm goin'."

Light watched the Shinigami disappear. He wasn't sure if he ought to make anything of Ryuuk's question – probably not, but he wouldn't forget it. He knew better than to trust the strange creature; Ryuuk was as likely to say something for the fun of watching the reaction as he was to volunteer information to be helpful. It was frustrating, but not unexpected.

Once he'd put his blazer on again and checked to be sure it was free of wrinkles, Light exited the dressing room to find Misa waiting for him. She was exactly as eager as he'd feared. Out of the corner of his eye, Light caught a flash of blond hair and leopard print quickly disappearing around a rack of skimpy dresses. Weddy and Aiber again.

"Well? Did it fit?" Misa didn't really have to ask if he'd liked it - he'd picked that one out, after all.

"Yeah," he responded, feigning just a hint of embarrassment, as if seeking reassurance – playing up the awkward boyfriend act for Weddy's benefit. "I'm not sure, though. I don't know when I'd get a chance to wear something like this..."

Misa's inquisitive parted lips split into a wide open-mouthed grin as she gleefully clapped her hands, leaning forward in her excitement. "Misa-Misa has never allowed a little thing like that to stand in the way of fashion!" She declared boldly, before straightening up and almost defiantly planting her hands on her hips. "When you love your clothes, opportunities will -"

But she was cut off by a tinny chiming from one of her bracelets - a watch camouflaged as a bangle with a winged cross emblem. "Oh no!" She abruptly reached out and grabbed the jacket from Light's arms, only to carelessly toss it over a rack. She grabbed Light's forearm in both hands to drag at him. "Come on, we can't miss our reservation!"

As Misa pulled Light out of the shop, grinning excitedly, the other man that had taken note of them in front of the jewelry store window stepped out of an alcove across the street and moved to follow.


As Mogi had suspected, payment at the grocery store had been up to him, as L carried no wallet of his own. At least it would certainly be repaid, so it was no trouble. Once outside, however, he paused, giving a slightly formal cough. "Ryuuzaki-san... I'd like to buy you a drink."

L was a few steps ahead, and turned, raising an eyebrow at Mogi.

"For your birthday," Mogi hastily amended, though it struck him that he didn't even know if L drank to begin with. "With everything that's happened, I mean -"

L wasn't sure if he was amused or horrified to see Mogi so embarrassed. "If you'd like," he said quickly, sparing the man any further need for explanation.

They stopped at a small yakitori bar on a side street partway back to headquarters. It was only the lingering soreness of his chest that kept L from drawing his feet up onto the seat after they'd slid into a booth near a window. "Something sweet," he replied in answer to what he'd like, wrinkling his nose at the heavy scent of cigarette smoke in the air.

Mogi took this to mean that L indeed wasn't overly familiar with alcohol, and ordered a bottle of plum wine for him, as well as beer for himself.

"Perhaps this wasn't a good idea," L said doubtfully, eyeing a table of raucous businessmen across the room. One of them had just fallen from his chair, and all of them were laughing loudly.

Mogi looked over at the men and gave a tolerant snort. "You don't have to get drunk," he encouraged as their drinks arrived. L made a motion for the bottle, but Mogi snatched it up first, politely pouring a glass for the detective, then raising his pint with a mumbled "kampai" and beginning to drink.

"Hm." L delicately took the glass by the stem, tilting his head at the blush-colored liquid. "I've read that becoming drunk is considered an important ritual in getting to know someone, though." He raised his eyes to Mogi's face. "Do you wish to get to know me?"

Mogi nearly choked on his beer, hastily swallowed, and gave a strained laugh. "It's not - I didn't mean -"

But L was smiling, just a little, and took a sip of his wine. "Or perhaps Mogi-san wishes to achieve that state himself so as to speak honestly and without reserve." He drank a little more, gaze lowered to the table.

The ambient noise in the bar - voices punctuated by laughter, the clink of glassware, the clatter of dishes from the kitchen - seemed to rise to fill the silence between them. After a moment, Mogi set down his pint. "I don't need to be drunk to do that."

L swallowed, his glass already half-empty. "So there is something that you want to say."

Neither spoke again for a few minutes. Only once Mogi had drained his beer and ordered another did he continue the conversation.

"My father died when I was sixteen."

L set down his empty glass. He'd suspected that this might be the subject.

"It was an accident. He worked construction, and a wall collapsed... It doesn't matter. But..." Mogi lifted the bottle of wine and refilled L's glass. "At the time, I was angry. I got into fights, stayed out for days at a time - I'm still sorry for what I put my mother through that summer." His second beer arrived and he took a long draught. "Got to the point that I went after the boss at the construction site. Chickened out before I even talked to him, though. Turns out I had some common sense after all."

"So what you mean to say," L said into his glass, "Is that the emotional upset I'm experiencing will eventually diminish."

"How should I know? I still feel angry about it now and then. It's not fair." Another swallow; L couldn't help but notice that Mogi was drinking fairly quickly, for someone who claimed that he didn't need to be drunk. Not that he wasn't using a little of the same tactic to ease the discomfort of the situation himself. "But that made me want to work at making unfair things right. S'why I joined the police."

Still without raising his eyes, L smiled a little, noting that he could already feel a distinct warmth in his cheeks in particular. He'd have to be careful; he drank little enough that he hadn't a very high tolerance, really. "I'm to find inspiration, then?"

"I think you already have." Mogi set down his pint again. "I've been... certain, all this time, Ryuuzaki. I've known ever since seeing Light and Misa together, and you've known for longer, never mind what percentages you tell people. You're certain." He kept his hands wrapped tightly around his glass.

L stared into his plum wine, having gone very still. He thought it strange that he could see the vibration of his heartbeat reflected in the surface of the wine, just from his fingertips on the stem of the glass. So fragile.

"But I think I understand why you've proceeded as you have... And I'm glad that you seem to have remembered as well." He quickly brought his beer to his mouth and drank long and deep.

The detective lifted his glass and drank deeply as well, draining it completely before setting it down again. "So... what was it that Mogi-san wanted to say?"

Mogi finished his drink as well and set the glass down, motioning for another before reaching for the wine bottle to fill L's glass again. "Happy birthday, Ryuuzaki-san."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."


Even if she felt that it was truly Light's place to have arranged dinner, Misa was a gracious hostess; these were difficult times, after all, and she'd said as much already. She reached across their small Italian restaurant table to take his hand. Despite the chill and dark of the evening she'd had them seated on the patio area, easily warmed by an umbrella-like heater over head - it was more private and, therefore, more romantic. And Light had sent Ryuuk away - clearly he wanted to be alone with her.

"Light..." She reveled in him turning his attention to her, his name still sweet on her tongue. "I've been thinking about you all the time; I can't help it. Are you really all right? I know how hard this has all been on you. I'll do anything I can to help."

Caught up in his own thoughts, Light had no time to remove his hand from Misa's reach gracefully, and could only smile stiffly as her fingers curled around his. "I'm fine," he responded automatically, then reconsidered and amended, "Well... to be honest... it's been stressful. Really stressful." That certainly wasn't untrue, and Light allowed himself a faint, weary, perhaps apologetic-seeming smile. This was a date, after all – time to turn on the charm.

"Listen, Misa," he began, the deliberate use of her name underscoring his next words, "I'm sorry things have been so difficult lately. You're right, this has been hard on me – but it must have been hard on you too, and I shouldn't have taken things out on you like I did." That was probably more than enough, Light thought – Misa was nothing if not creative when it came to constructing a flattering motive for just about anything he did or said – but just to be sure, since they were in public, he turned his hand in her grip and gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze.

"With everything that's happened," he went on, wanting to be finished with the important part of his speech before a waiter could interrupt them, "I think all of us – you, me, Ryuuzaki, everyone really – need some time to adjust. We just don't know enough about what's going on, and... I think Ryuuzaki especially needs time to think about what to do now."

It was a relief to finally have that out of the way. Light smiled for Misa's benefit, easier now than he'd been able to before, and let his shoulders relax a little with his next breath. She could make of that whatever she liked, really – there was no denying at this point that dynamics had shifted, and it was his place, not Misa's, to worry about how to handle that.

She nodded seriously, pursing her lips. "Is... is he all right? Ryuuzaki I mean." She glanced about a little as though uncomfortable discussing someone not present - laughable considering how often she did just that. "I just... I didn't like the creepy old guy..." she looked down and too the side, almost miserably, her hand unusually slack in Light's. "But I know they were close, and that's... That's pretty hard to deal with."

"Ryuuzaki...he's, ah..." Light frowned; given Misa's usual behavior, it was sometimes difficult to keep in mind how traumatized she had really been by her parents' murders. It seemed alright to speak honestly – even if Weddy or Aiber were monitoring the conversation, they'd only see a young man worried for his friend. "He's doing about as well as can be expected, I suppose." The remark about Watari struck an odd note, though, and Light found he didn't want to let it slip by unquestioned. If nothing else, this was a line of conversation he had some interest in, which was more than could be said for most of the things Misa brought up. "I think Watari was sort of like a father to Ryuuzaki," Light said quietly, diligently ignoring the prickle of discomfort that accompanied the words. "I didn't know you disliked him – he was always very polite with me."

"Oh, it's not that, he was always very polite," Misa quickly tried to explain, clearly embarrassed now. "I guess I never said; it just doesn't seem so important now, you know?" She scuffed her feet a little under the table and glanced about to see that they were alone. "When they first..." Her voice was halting and very soft. "When they first locked me up, Ryuu-"

The way that Misa's demeanor changed was... rather startling. Light felt suddenly trapped by the passive smile he was wearing, even before he realized what she was talking about – which, of course, he did, even before she'd gotten more than a few words out on the subject.

Misa paused and swallowed before continuing. "The old man - he was the one that took care of me when I was a prisoner. I was blindfolded but I figured it out later. He was the one that... well, they needed information."

It seemed jarring to think of Watari, who had so doted on L, being a torturer - but then, Light recalled the man's skill as a sniper. Not so surprising after all.

Misa abruptly pulled her hand away from Light's and covered her face. "Oh, it really is too embarrassing! And you had to go through some of that too." She lowered her hands to her lap, lifting her head, but still didn't quite look at him. She took a deep breath. "I'm so glad you weren't interrogated though." She glanced up with a grim attempt at a smile, a peculiar tightness around the corners of her eyes. "That was the worst. I didn't ever say anything but that was almost too much." She rubbed unconsciously at her upper arms, hugging herself.

Light quickly lowered his gaze when Misa pulled her hand away, curling his fingers and then withdrawing his hand entirely. Interrogated. He'd never known – it was perfectly reasonable, of course, and he'd expected that possibility, even planned for it, but... She'd never said anything, not a single word, either in complaint or to gain his sympathy. Perhaps he'd underestimated her usefulness...

No, no, he ought to be annoyed that she'd not told him, because how could Misa expect him to plan for things if he didn't have all the necessary information? He'd have to make that clear. Still, it wouldn't do to let her feel unappreciated.

"So yeah, after that, it was just weird being around him, you know? It's okay, everyone in the task force has a really strong sense of justice and they want to do the right thing no matter what, but... it was weird. So I didn't like being around him." She looked up apologetically at Light. "I'm sorry. I don't want to ruin the evening!"

Light returned Misa's apologetic smile with one of his own, leaning forward slightly to rest his forearm against the edge of the table. "I didn't know you'd been through all that," he said softly, meeting Misa's eyes briefly, then reaching for his water as if to give himself a chance to consider his next words. He took a sip, and continued to stare into his drink, tilting the glass to watch the ice shift against itself.

"With everything that happened, especially at the end..." Light began, allowing himself a wry, uncomfortable little smile as he recalled the mock execution – it was a perfect excuse for what might otherwise be taken as insensitively on his part. "I was just trying to focus on the case and put the rest behind me. I guess I assumed you'd tell me if there was something bothering you that much." He looked up again, seeking her gaze, feigning sympathy to reinforce the subtle admonishment. "I'm sorry – it was thoughtless of me not to ask how you were holding up. But don't keep things from me in the future, alright?"

"Oh," Misa responded, her face slack in shock for a moment. "Oh, oh, Light, it's all right, it wasn't - it's in the past, it doesn't matter now!" She couldn't contain her joy, fully beaming at him. He wanted to know. As occupied as he was, as dangerous as his every waking moment was, with all that he had to keep in mind and plan and work around, and he still wanted to know how she was doing. It was so obvious that he felt bad for not having fully considered what she'd been through before. It was wonderful.

She entirely missed his subtle reprimand.

"It's all right, don't worry about me," she said, awkwardly reaching across the table to lay her fingers on his arm. "You certainly have enough on your mind! I'm doing absolutely fine. The Yotsuba contract is actually paying really well..."

The conversation rapidly returned to the mundane – so rapidly, in fact, that Light found it rather jarring. Misa was such an emotional person that it seemed strange to him to watch her shift gears so smoothly; one moment she'd clearly been deeply troubled, and the next, it was gone and she was grinning at him and talking animatedly, her contact-lens-blue eyes shining as she sipped at her drink.

It wasn't until well after the food had arrived that Light realized why it was bothering him so much. It reminded him of himself, of his own ability to turn off his emotions when they were inconvenient, and to present whichever side of himself best fit the current situation. He felt as if he'd been deceived – and he didn't like it. The realization left him picking over his fish and caponata unhappily and smiling thinly as Misa talked nonstop about her recent modeling work and how this or that agency wanted her. Apparently the Yotsuba contract had been excellent for her career.

At length, Light excused himself to use the restroom – Ryuuk might be back any time, and the Shinigami knew better than to try to have a conversation with him in public (most of the time, anyway). But Ryuuk did not appear – what was taking him so long? - and Light exited the restroom resigned to another half hour or so of Misa's painfully uninteresting chatter.

But there was someone else at the table, with a chair pulled up from one of the vacant tables, leaning forward and nodding as Misa said something that Light couldn't quite hear. Mildly alarmed, Light hurried over, frowning as he got a better look at the young man – he seemed familiar, though his short dark hair and casual attire were unremarkable. Light recalled him from earlier - he'd been on the street where he'd told Misa about Rem, and had looked away. Damn it, he'd been stalking them.

"Misa, is this guy bothering you?" Light frowned, arms crossed, and registered with a new flare of concern that the man was writing something down in a small notebook. Trying to surreptitiously steal a glance at its contents, he stepped forward, playing the concerned boyfriend as he leaned in to put himself between Misa and the stranger. Even if he was only a paparazzo, Light didn't want him hanging around.

"Oh no, Light, it's all right," Misa exclaimed, pleased beyond measure at his obvious protectiveness. "This is Daisuke-san! He's a freelance photographer. Isn't that romantic, following your heart in such an artistic pursuit - it's inspiring!" She gushed as the young man stood and sheepishly extended his hand toward Light. "Daisuke-san, this is -"

The man chuckled. "I'm sure Yagami remembers me; we were classmates all through high school. Long time no see!" When Light didn't take the extended hand, he bowed awkwardly instead, and waited for Light to sit before he did again himself. "Amane-san gives me too much credit. I'm just trying to get by on what skills I have. I'm on my own since my parents got mad that I didn't get into university." He smiled ruefully. "They were right to be angry. Yagami can tell you, Amane-san, I was a pretty awful person in high school. But that was before Kira-sama really started setting the world back on course. It matters now, what people do, since we have a god that cares again." He drew himself up, and his smile became confident. "So I'm doing my best - sure is tough though!"

Of course – Sudou Daisuke, one of his class's delinquents. He'd trimmed his hair closer, developed slightly more professional taste in clothes, but now that he knew, Light was annoyed with himself for not recognizing the man instantly. It was, he supposed, because he'd tried his best to ignore Sudou when they'd been classmates; he'd never been anything but a distraction and an annoyance. Light kept his face a careful mask, allowing irritation to bleed into an awkward sort of neutrality, though his lip wanted to twist in a sneer. "You've changed a lot since high school," he said, "Sudou-kun."

He took his seat and let Sudou talk – the man seemed keen to confess his past sins and demonstrate that he'd redeemed himself to someone (probably because his parents wouldn't hear it), and Light took some small amount of amusement in the sheer irony of the situation, though he wished Misa wouldn't grin so pointedly at him. Human trash like Sudou was not who his perfect world was meant for, and he resented the man's open praise of Kira just enough to idly entertain himself with thoughts of how he might dispose of Sudou later... to prevent him from publishing any sensitive information, of course. It wasn't worth the risk of actually going through with it, but it was cathartic all the same.

Sudou laughed again, just missing the expectant, delighted expression Misa was giving Light behind the man's back. "I think Daisuke-san's really bold - he's not impolite like most freelancers at all," she said encouragingly. "So I thought, wouldn't it be great to reward such hard work and give him a scoop! So I was just telling him about how we met."

"Amane-san said she bumped into you in Aoyama and it was love at first sight, and she tracked you down to return a notebook you dropped," Daisuke said, pen poised to his notepad. "How did it feel, finding a beautiful model on your doorstep?"

Light was just lifting his glass for a drink of water when Misa revealed exactly what she and Sudou had been discussing while he'd been away from the table. Light very nearly scowled – Misa ought to know better than to talk about how they'd met, damn it all – but hid the expression with the edge of his glass. He silently cursed himself for indulging her so much today; clearly, he should be much less tolerant, especially now that Rem was out of the equation.

"It was actually a bit of a shock," he responded, glancing aside at Misa with a faint grimace that practice assured him would seem more self-deprecating than resentful. He flicked his eyes back across to Sudou, clasping his hands loosely on the table as he schooled his features into something a little more pleasant and conversational. If he'd seemed chilly before, it didn't matter much – it would be easily explained by the fact that Sudou had interrupted his date. In truth, he wasn't sure if this was more or less irritating than the date itself.

"To be perfectly honest, I never imagined I'd wind up with someone like Misa." Light gave her a slight smile, but kept his hands well out of her reach. He knew he was going to regret every sugar-coated word later, but there was no help for it. Damn Misa and her misguided altruism. "On the surface, it doesn't look like we'd have much in common, but it's like the saying – opposites attract, right?" Pausing, Light took another sip of water, as if to wash the taste of his own revolting lies from his mouth. "But it's not really a very interesting story beyond that. We try to keep our private lives separate from everything else."

"Oh, I completely understand!" Sudou scribbled on his notepad. "With the way all the girls in high school threw themselves at you, I'm surprised that you were still available to catch, but you make a fantastic couple! You must be one of the luckiest men on Earth."

Light nearly wanted to laugh at the assertion that he was lucky – as if wasting his time on dead-end relationships with uninteresting women out of social obligation was somehow desirable. Besides, luck had absolutely nothing to do with it. Women weren't difficult to figure out. "Misa's not like the girls I dated in high school," he said simply. At least it was true – and the line was trite enough to be a perfect fit for whatever ridiculous article would go along with Sudou's pictures. At least it couldn't do any real damage at this point, no matter what Misa had said.

Sudou chuckled and glanced up a little nervously toward the interior of the restaurant - it was obvious that he wasn't a paying patron and their waiter could be seen gesturing and pointing him out to a more imposing staff member. "Looks like I'm going to have to go in a moment here. Do you mind if I get a picture first?"

"Not at all!" Misa exclaimed as the man stood, scooting her chair toward Light's and completely failing to ask him if he'd an opinion on the matter. "The lighting will look better if you stand over there..."

The man quickly snapped a few pictures of the couple sitting close together, with Misa smiling cheerfully for the camera, as the staff began to make their way toward the patio. "Thank you so much," he said, looking up and keeping his eyes on the approaching waitstaff. "I really appreciate your help!"

"I'm delighted to help a follower of Kira!" Misa reached down into her purse and fished out a card. "If things don't work out, give my manager a call - I'll recommend you if we know of any open positions anywhere."

Sudou grinned and opened his mouth to speak when the door to the patio opened. "Excuse me -"

"I was just on my way out," he exclaimed, bowing as he pocketed the card. "I hope you have a lovely evening, Amane-san, Yagami-san." He nodded - smugly - to the waiter holding the door open as he passed through, not at all oblivious to the man's dour expression.

The waiter looked after him for a moment, then directed his attention back to the couple at the table. "We are so sorry for the disturbance! How are your meals going? May we interest you in a complimentary dessert for your troubles? The chef has made a wonderfully delicate Tiramisu today."

Light accepted the dessert, thinking of L's reaction to his mother's version of the confection in question. For all that being around L was taxing, he'd also come to find refuge in it. Misa's enthusiasm was nothing short of exhausting.


By the time they returned to headquarters, Mogi was showing definite signs of inebriation, and L stumbled and smiled more accordingly. L had Mogi accompany him to his suite - ostensibly they were paired as an observational safety measure, after all - and had no sooner set his caramel apple ingredients on the small kitchen's counter than the older man fell soundly asleep on the sofa.

L waited a few minutes, letting his pretense of intoxication slip away; he'd slowed his drinking considerably once Mogi had said his piece. Once he was certain that Mogi's slumber was heavy enough to not be disturbed by his activities, L prepared himself a large mug of cider and got his project underway. He frowned, realizing that he'd forgotten to procure sticks for the apples, and used forks instead as he placed them on a baking sheet. He couldn't help but think of how well-appointed Watari had left this kitchen.

He was in the process of melting the caramels and cream to make the coating when he noticed a slight shifting of the balanced apples. From the corner of his eye, as he withdrew the spoon he was stirring with and tasted its contents, L saw one of the apples lift into the air.

L swiped the large spoon at the air near the apple and was rewarded with a solid crack of connection, and the apple was dropped back on the counter.

"Wait until they're done, Shinigami," L chided, looking into the empty air despite his inability to perceive the creature. "It's a wonderful combination of flavors; don't spoil it."

He paused, waiting for some sort of response, but all was entirely still and silent to the point that he began to wonder if he'd imagined the incident. Perhaps he'd consumed too much alcohol after all.

He'd just returned to stirring the caramel when he felt a tickle on his arm, and the air to his side bloomed with darkness.

The Shinigami that appeared was both very like Rem and very unlike her. It was similarly tall and lanky, all limbs, arms and fingers disproportionately long by human standards – but where Rem had been pale and smooth, this one was dark and ragged, all wrinkled leather and haphazard stitching and long bedraggled feathers. It looked like the unfortunate fusion of a rock star and a juvenile crow.

"You're not gonna ruin 'em, are you?" It asked, foregoing an introduction entirely. It withdrew the Note with which it had tapped L's forearm, clipped it back into the holster at its hip, and leaned in over L's shoulder to peer at the caramel mixture. Even with its wall-eyed gaze and near-permanent grin, the Shinigami gave the distinct impression of being rather nonplussed.

"It isn't ruining them, just a different way to enjoy them." The strangeness of the creature seemed entirely reasonable at this point. It was more willing to converse than Rem, even. "If you can wait you can have... some." L didn't want to make assumptions about the Shinigami's appetite; he'd gotten plenty of apples for a reason, after all.

"Huh." A spindly claw-tipped finger tapped against one apple, then its fork, swaying the fruit back and forth. "They'd better not go all soggy. I'm Ryuuk, by the way."

"I am honored to finally make your acquaintance." L didn't stop stirring the caramel as he was studied; it wouldn't do to let it burn just because of being watched. "You probably already know that I am L."

"Sure," the Shinigami sounded as though it were trying not to laugh outright. Turning slightly, stick-thin frame hunching over, it crouched down to peer closely at L. After a moment, it straightened up again with a papery rustle of a laugh, studying the spot just above L's head intently. "It's really gone, isn't it?" he asked – his tone implying that he did not expect an answer. Ryuuk did, however, expect L to ask what he meant.

L turned his head slightly, observing with equal interest. This creature was nearly a complete opposite of Rem in many ways. "What's gone?"

Ryuuk raised a hand and pointed at the empty air above L's head. "Your name." The words faded into a rasp of a chuckle. "I've never seen a human without a name before."


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