Chapter 11
Disclaimer: I own nothing
"Mate what is going on?"
Logan had dropped Rory off at the apartment and had been prepared to settle up next to her for the next few nights before he went out with the guys and her mom showed up. However, Rory all but pushed him out the door. She said that just a few hours she wanted to be alone but she would call if she needed anything. To make sure that he actually went out she called Finn and Colin and begged them to come get him. Before he even had a chance to protest Finn was busting the door in trying to get to them, and all but kidnapped Logan.
"I'm not sure how much Ace wants me to share, it's just been a rough couple of days and she is so upset and so stressed. I just wanted to get her out of there, away from London, and all the other worries she has while she's over there. At least here she can focus on her family and movies and books. She just needs a break, and so do I but she just looks so different to me lately. It just makes sense to get her away from there and I decided to get her away from there for a few weeks."
"Well Huntzberger, sounds like you could use some stress relief too. We're going to saddle up next to this bar, forget about whatever it is you need to forget about, and then I'll kick your ass in some poker."
"I don't want to get to drunk, if Ace needs me I need to be able to get home."
"Okay, I will stay sober tonight, I will hold onto your phone, you will relax." And with that, Colin took his phone and Logan downed his glass of scotch before grabbing another one.
Meanwhile, at her old apartment Rory walked around and looked at all that had changed. She had poured herself a glass of red wine and stared at what used to be her Yale wall. Her wall that had all these memories that seemed so distant but somehow so close to her now. She was married to the man that was in the hidden pictures. He was out with his friends that had been in some of her favorite memories, and the memory of her first graduation was washed away by that night in their apartment. But as she sipped on her wine, a drink she felt guilty about having even with the circumstances, she still couldn't help but choke out a small sob at what she worried wouldn't be. She had so many wonderful memories of her life growing up, she wanted to do all of those with her—no, their children as well. She wanted them to have a college wall, even if it was Princeton. She wanted them to find out how amazing journalism was, or that they loved walking on tight ropes, she wanted them to have every happy memory she did.
With this in mind she sat down at her old desk that Colin kept in the apartment and began to make a list. Except what started as a list quickly turned into paragraphs of memories of her witty dialogue with her mother, the horrible night of the Hayden dinner, the pure innocence of her first kiss, it was all there on a word document just staring her in the face. It wasn't until 10 A.M. when she saw a very hungover Logan walk through the door that she realized that she had written all night. As she guided him and herself to the bed, she decided that once they got some sleep they would look over what she wrote.
It was 6 p.m. when she woke up to the smell of pizza and she slowly made her way into the kitchen. She had totally forgotten about what had happened last night with her writing until Logan quickly crossed the distance of the room and picked her up and kissed her.
"ACE! This is amazing, I mean don't get me wrong, it's a rough draft. But babe, this is so much fun and great and how did this start? When did this start? I didn't mean to snoop, I just didn't have my computer and wanted to look something up and it was just sitting there. And by the way, you really have stolen before haven't you, if they would have known you were a repeat offender you may not have gotten off so easily with your community service!"
"You got off easy, I do distinctly remember you being able to jet around Europe that summer!"
"Not the point Ace, I want answers. What brought this on?"
"Well last night I was thinking about my old Yale wall and all the things I want our *voice breaking* kids to have. And I wanted a list of things they could have and things I had growing up and it just spilled out." Logan immediately hugged her.
"They'll have all of that, I'll make sure they have all of that. But Rory, can we talk about what you did there? You wrote a book, well not exactly, but you wrote an outline. You did something amazing. I'm so proud of you."
"Logan, it's nothing, hell it's less than nothing. It was just mindless, and it just came out. Please, please don't read too much into it."
Logan didn't want to push her, he knew she needed to figure out what she wanted. But, he saw so much passion in those words, passion he hadn't seen in a long time and it took everything he had not to show her the pride he was feeling.
"Well, I've gotten pizza and movies. I figured we could have a quiet night before your mom comes into town."
"That sounds amazing Logan, thank you so much."
LRLRLRLR
"As much as I love this visit, I'm worried about you kid."
"Mom, I'm fine. I just had a great day and then got some bad news and it was just a lot of emotions in one day."
"That would be great, if I believed you at all."
"I'm not liking my job mom. I'm just not, I thought I would love being an editor. But I don't, I want to write. I want to show people how passionate I am through my words and not by how well I can approve a layout. Then when I was late, it just seemed like I had an out if I wanted it. I could choose to step back if need be, I'd have an excuse to bring to Logan. But then I wasn't, even though we've been trying. I just don't know what to do or what to tell him."
"You tell him the truth. He wants you happy, any man who gives your mother his black card to cheer you up only has your interest at heart because he certainly isn't caring about your bank account. Rory, talk to him. Ever since you guys got back together you've seemed to be able to talk, so why is today any different? Ror, he's hurting too."
"So then why isn't he talking to me?"
"Why aren't you talking to him?"
RLRLRLRLRLRL
Logan promised no work on this trip, but Rory was gone and there was a crisis so he walked into his New York office and threw himself into the emails he had waiting for him. It wasn't until a few hours later where he looked around at his surroundings. What a complete waste of space, he thought to himself. I'm never here, and here's this massive office with my name on it, and for what? Status? God, this is ridiculous.
"Logan!"
Well that will break you out of your thoughts. "Yes dad?"
"What are you doing in town? Have you even alerted the London office you were here? You can't just up and—"
"Dad shut up. London knows full well I'm here. I was dealing with an issue that came about under your direction. I know what the hell I'm doing, it's been some trying past couple days so just don't start." Logan had started off the conversation with so much strength and conviction but towards the end of the conversation he had faltered and his voice cracked. There was just too much pressure going on right now and no matter what he did he couldn't get that weight off of his shoulders. The last thing he could handle right now was his dad stepping into a place he had no place in.
Even though things had gotten better between them and even though he had accepted Rory, things were far from great. Logan couldn't bring himself to open up or break down to his dad.
RLRLRLRL
There was a moment, it was fleeting but it was there. Where Rory forgot what was happening in her world, where she forgot the stress she had been allowing to pile onto her. She looked up from where her head was perched on his chest and she just admired him. This man that had given her so much, and made sure she was whisked away because he saw her fault lines cracking under the surface. Maybe that's why she had the hard time writing the note? Maybe because he did everything for her and she couldn't even have this conversation face-to-face.
Logan woke up to a cold bed, there was no smell of coffee, no sounds of a shower, and no Ace what so ever. The coldness reminded him of when he found her that night on the floor of their bathroom, shit, had that really been only a week ago? As he made his way through the apartment he found the letter sitting on the kitchen island. When he picked it up he was sure he was going to find her rings fluttering out of the letter as well. He was so scared to read what she had to say, but even her handwriting calmed him down. It didn't matter what had happened between them, she calmed him down, and he knew he had to read what she had to say.
"Dear Logan,
I'm scared. That's a way to start this out I guess? I'm terrified of what I'm feeling. Everything was okay that morning, it was a great day in London, you looked amazing that morning heading out to work. We had a great day at lunch. But then I got into work and I wasn't happy. Despite the high I was riding when I thought I was pregnant, the work wasn't making me happy. How do I tell you that? How do I tell you that I want to leave a wonderful job that most would kill for? But Logan, I want to leave it so badly, I want to be a writer again. When is the last time you heard of an Ace editor? If this is something you can't support I understand, we can work through it I hope but we can work through it. I just didn't want to see the disappointment on your face.
Love,
Your Ace (Reporter?)"
This?! This is what she couldn't tell me to my face, is she kidding me?
*Ace, I read the note, come home, or tell me where to meet you. But I need to see you. *
*I'll be back in 20 minutes. *
In that moment Logan knew what he had to do. He printed the memories she had written down and got out her notebook and a red pen. By the time she walked in the door she was amazed at the sight in front of her. There was Logan, hunched over a desk with files all around him. It wasn't until he looked up at her that she felt herself breathe again, there on his face was a smile that she reassured her the files weren't divorce papers. As soon as she thought those thoughts he was picking her up and twirling her.
"Ace, you want to quit your job and become a reporter? Great! You want to be a quiz maker like the crazy chick in Gone Girl? Fantastic, I draw the line at you faking your own death but other than that, go crazy! But I still think you should see what I have prepared." And with those words he grabbed her hand and led her over to the desk that he had just vacated. As she looked at the desk she saw a whole outline that he had prepared.
"Ace, I loved your memories, I love your voice, I think you should write about this, what you know and what you are passionate about. Write about you and your mom, or your childhood. Just write it all Ace. Stay home, work at your leisure, if you'd like you can freelance with some of my papers. Babe, I want you happy and content. Don't ever be afraid to ask for what you want from this, it's your life, and yeah some things will affect the both of us, but right now we're on the same page, so please take this leap for yourself. You took a huge leap for me last year, don't hold yourself back now."
With tears in her eyes Rory realized he meant every word he had just said to her. "I thought about going the Gone Girl route but you're the one better at scavenger hunts." He gave her a pointed smirk. "Logan, I want to write, I think freelancing sounds great, and this book sounds like it could be a lot of fun. But I want a baby. I didn't realize how badly I wanted that until it wasn't an option. It felt like suddenly the wind got knocked out of me that day. Even though we had been trying this month just felt like it was it. I think that the moment it was taken away, that was the moment where everything else felt like it crumbled too, with the exception of you. Thank you for being my rock."
"Rory, I'll always be your rock, but in the interest of full disclosure, I broke a little bit too at that negative. It's only been a few months. We will keep trying I promise. But for now, we have an interesting evening planned for tomorrow, so we need to get a lot of rest."
"It involves a folk singer doesn't it?"
