DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I also am not affiliated with Neon Trees.
Break Me
By: xSlythStratasfaction
Warning: Season 2 spoilers! This fic is AU with canon tendencies (does that make any sense? Haha!) VERY ANGSTY. Also, some foul language.
"Looks like we'll be singing Animal by the Neon Trees."
"I can see that, Blaine. I can read, you know." Kurt crossed one leg over the other as he studied the sheet music in his hand. Next to him, Blaine huffed and began studying his own music, occasionally humming his part under his breath. Kurt hummed along as well, his voice effortlessly blending in with Blaine's as they harmonized their vocals. After a few moments of practice, Kurt quit humming and stood up, pacing the room intensely. "How are we supposed to do this?"
"Do what?"
"Sing together. You know just as well as I do that you are the last person on the planet that I want to sing with."
"…really?"
"Yes, really," Kurt muttered, propping himself up against a desk. He raked his hands through his hair and sighed. "I really don't want to sing with you, but if it means I might get a chance at having a solo at Regionals, I'll do it."
Blaine looked crushed at the admission, his fingers crumpling his music tightly in their grasp as he furrowed his brows in Kurt's direction. "You're being completely honest? One hundred percent?"
"Yes."
"You really don't want to sing with me?"
"What part of 'you are the last person on the planet I want to sing with' do you not understand?"
"I just thought you were being sarcastically dramatic or something-"
"Oh, you mean that I'm just being myself right?"
"What?"
"You know, Kurt's just being himself – a self-pitying drama queen! You said it yourself a week ago: I'm nothing but a whiny bitch."
"I never said-"
"You may not have said those exact words, but you definitely implied them, Blaine."
"Kurt, I-"
"Save it," Kurt growled as he pushed himself away from the desk. He dashed across the room and grabbed up his things, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he began to exit the choir room. "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to duet with you. The only thing I'm getting out of this practice at all is the utter desire to kick you where it hurts." He rolled his eyes and exited the room, not waiting for any sort of reply from Blaine. He just couldn't stand being in that room any longer – they could just work on their harmonies in class.
The next few days were dedicated to perfecting Animal.
Thad had somehow booked a warehouse that they could perform in and Wes and David invited their girlfriends' show choir, the Crawford Country Day Canaries, to watch the Warblers sing. That entire week prior to the performance, the Warblers practiced their sexy moves over and over again. Kurt found himself grouped up with Jeff, Nick, and a few of the younger guys – each of them shaking their hips and body rolling to the beat of the music. Blaine was with the council and some others; each of them doing their own version of sexy dancing to the song. Occasionally, Kurt would glance over and catch Blaine watching him, but other than that, neither boy held a conversation with the other. They just sang and that was it.
And Kurt was completely fine with that. He was just dandy.
The day of the performance found Kurt and Blaine standing shoulder to shoulder in a creepy warehouse, waiting for their cue to step out and introduce themselves. Blaine had some speech planned out that he was going to give the Crawford girls before they sang, but Wes completely changed up the whole thing into a Blaine and Kurt introduction. So, Kurt found himself asking the girls if they were scream worthy and yada yada yada before he rushed back to his side of the risers. Across from him, Blaine was singing and dancing and looking way too attractive for Kurt's liking. His obvious sex appeal seeped from every pore as he danced around the staging and around Kurt, leaving the older boy quaking in his wake.
It was like he was flirting or something.
Well, two can play at that game, Kurt told himself, turning on his inner Sasha Fierce. He sashayed right up to Blaine, shimmying his shoulders as he cocked a hip and spun around. Blaine's eyes widened as Kurt's ass bumped his thigh and Kurt smiled to himself at the reaction. You're not the only one who can be sexy, Blaine.
He continued to dance around, hands hovering over his hips as he thrust and rolled them forward. He knew Blaine was watching him, that much was sure, but the only thing he was truly worried about was how impressive his performance was. Around him, the other Warblers were also gyrating and moving – each of them completely breaking out of their one-two-step robot shells as the song beat on. Finally, with the last notes still hanging in the air and bubbly foam scattered all over the room, the Warblers take on a sexy number ended. The Crawford girls were swooning and giggling happily, throwing handfuls of soap bubbles at their guy friends. Kurt slipped out of the foam, running his hands through his now damp hair as he took a seat on one of the high risers. He watched his friends goof around below him and smiled when Jeff lobbed a beach ball at Wes' head and knocked the councilman to the ground.
"Kurt?"
Kurt looked up, eyes locking with Blaine's as the shorter boy tugged himself up onto the scaffolding, "What?"
"What was that out there?"
"What was what? …my sexy faces?"
"Yeah," Blaine took a seat next to Kurt, watching as the other boy fixed his hair. "I've never seen that out of you before."
"Well maybe that's because the Warblers are usually stifflers who never step out of their comfort zone to try anything new unless it involves serenading random boys in shopping malls or private school girls in abandoned warehouses."
Blaine laughed, "Yeah, I'm a little shocked they decided this place as a venue after what happened at the Gap." He toyed with the bottom of his blazer, "…I just wanted to tell you that I thought you looked amazing out there."
Kurt scoffed, setting aside his pocket mirror, "Oh please. I probably looked a mess out there. There's only so much one can do with this ensemble, let alone when they aren't really feeling the song they're performing."
"You don't like Neon Trees?"
"I'm just not familiar with them. Plus, this song is just ridiculous."
"How is it ridiculous?"
"Really, Blaine? Have you even listened to the lyrics?"
"No. I just like the song."
"Well that would explain it," Kurt muttered under his breath as he rose from the scaffolding and walked away. Blaine hopped off behind him and followed Kurt right up to where a group of Crawford girls had formed around the tall boy. One of the girls held out a piece of paper, eyes sparkling as Kurt took it from her shaky fingers.
"Call me," the girl whispered, blushing profusely. Kurt smiled gently at her.
"Sorry. I'm gay."
The girl frowned, a small defeated noise rose from her throat as she – and a handful of other girls – mourned Kurt's sexuality. The other girls in the group immediately flocked to Blaine, holding out tiny pieces of paper for him to take as well.
"Oh, thank you, but I'm also not on your team."
"Oh my God!" One of the blonde girls jumped back, eyes darting from both Kurt and Blaine. "Are you two boyfriends? Oh my God, how could we have been so stupid? You were singing that song and flirting with each other and Jesus, Kara and I thought it was some sort of fan service – but you two are gay and boyfriends and I'm so sorry!"
"We're not dating," Kurt interjected. The girls once again deflated at his admission.
"Why not? You guys have so much chemistry!"
Kurt didn't say anything; instead, he shot a look to Blaine, willing the other boy to answer. Blaine stepped back, eyes wearily watching the girls around him as they curiously looked back and forth from each boy.
'Well?"
"I have a boyfriend," Blaine blurted. As soon as the words slipped from his mouth, he glanced over to Kurt and found his friend's blue eyes widening.
"Oh really," the one girl – who Blaine assumed was Kara – asked. "What's his name?"
Kurt's voice was small as he answered, "Jeremiah." Blaine faintly nodded.
"Oh, well, good for Jeremiah then. What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?" The girls were flocking around Kurt, obviously not sensing the discomfort the boy was feeling. Blaine watched as Kurt's hands reached up and wrapped around the back of his neck. He curled in a little bit, staring down at his shoes as he worried his lower lip.
"At the moment, no. I don't need one right now though. The last thing I need is to ruin myself over some guy."
Blaine knew Kurt was talking about him. The Crawford girls had no idea that the words Kurt had spoken had a double meaning; instead, they fawned around Kurt, each of them adding their own two cents in about men and dating in general. Kurt stayed and listened to them for a moment before finally getting flustered enough that he had to go; he bid the girls goodbye before he turned and marched out of the warehouse.
Blaine was hot on his heels.
"So it's true then? You are dating Jeremiah."
"No. I lied."
"Bullshit, Blaine! I saw the two of you at the mall the other day. If you guys aren't dating, then I don't know what the hell is going on because you two sure looked chummy."
"He just wanted my opinion on a few outfits, that's all. I lied to those girls back there."
"Yeah right, my ass. You lied to them to do what? Save yourself the embarrassment of possibly being thought of as my boyfriend?"
"No!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, throwing open the door to the Navigator in a rush, "Then why, Blaine? Why – if you're not dating Jeremiah – would you tell those girls that you were?"
Blaine squished himself between the door and Kurt, hands thrust out as he held his ground to keep Kurt from slamming the car door in his face, "I only did it to protect you."
"Protect me? How the hell does lying do anything to protect me?"
"I lied because I need you to get away from me, Kurt." Blaine gnawed on his lower lip, eyes closing as he began to explain. "These last few weeks have got me thinking so much. I've thought about what you said about me leading you on and to be honest, I have." Kurt rushed to shove Blaine out of his way so that he could close the door, but Blaine stayed cemented in his position, opening his eyes to stare down at the seated boy. "Please don't fight me. Let me explain."
"You just admitted to me that you've been leading me on! Why shouldn't I let you say anything else?"
"Because you need to understand me!" Blaine pleaded, eyes wide and watery. Kurt's mouth opened and closed as he struggled to even sort out why Blaine was so worked up; slowly, he settled into his seat, waiting for Blaine to finally open up and give him the reasons why he had been leading him on. "Kurt, you're amazing. You know that and I know that – hell, everyone knows it. The moment I met you, I knew you were something special and that scared the hell out of me. I was scared because you were hurting and I was scared because you were relying on me to help you out and to be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. After Valentine's Day, when you told me you liked me, that scared me even more and I just wanted to push you away, to keep you away from me because I didn't want to break your heart anymore."
"But you-"
"Please, let me finish… I didn't push you away though because I realized that if I cut our friendship loose, I'd miss you too much. So I decided to keep talking to you and being with you and it took me this long to realize it, but all this time, I was sending these mixed signals to you – touching you and singing with you and all that, those were mixed signals and my God, I have no idea how you dealt with me because it's taken me this long to understand everything and all this time, I was flirting with you. And that's when I realized that I liked the attention. I liked it, Kurt. It was nice to be the one being chased after and while I should have stopped all forms of this a long time ago, I didn't. I didn't and I'm sorry."
Kurt stared up into Blaine's eyes; he noticed how earnest and true Blaine seemed and it pissed him off, "So you mean to tell me that you've been flirting with me for weeks and it was because you liked getting your ego stroked?"
Blaine paused. He looked around Kurt's car for a few seconds before he stared back at Kurt, "…yes."
"I can't even- I just- Blaine, I- just go."
"You have to understand that I now know I was in the wrong, Kurt. I know I was! I understand that now and I'm so sorry. I'm so very fucking sorry. You never deserved this, you don't deserve this. You deserve so much more and then some and I just can't give that to you. You deserve better than me, Kurt."
Kurt's hands gripped the steering wheel. He looked away from Blaine, feeling hot tears well up in his eyes as he listened to his friend's words – I just can't give that to you. You deserve better than me. "I don't-"
"You do, Kurt. You know this already. You're-"
"I know what I am, Blaine. I know who I am and I know what I want and how dare you try to flip this all on me now! You've toyed with my emotions, my heart for months now! For months! And each time I thought that maybe one day, you'd see me the way I saw you: handsome, smart, talented, amazing. And instead you shoved me to the side. You shoved me aside for Jeremiah and then Rachel and fuck, I still can't figure out what those two have over me but damnit, I'm tired of fighting with you and of fighting for you!"
"I know-"
"No, you don't. You've never known."
Kurt shoved an arm out, catching Blaine's waist as he pushed the shorter boy away from him. "Please go," he whispered, waiting until Blaine stepped away from the car before he slammed the door shut. He watched as Blaine turned and walked away, back to the warehouse. As soon as the other boy was gone, Kurt screamed, slamming his hands into the steering wheel over and over and over again. He slammed his fists into the dashboard, into the center console, and the passenger seat, tears streaming down his cheeks as he cried over Blaine Anderson one last time.
Because after this, he truly wasn't going to do this anymore.
Kurt was done. He had enough.
Blaine had finally sent him to his breaking point and that was it.
Kurt was finished.
A/N: Have you ever felt like throwing yourself off of a cliff? That's how I feel right now, lol. I am having the hardest time trying to find the time and energy to write anything anymore. Every time I sit down to write, someone comes up behind me and peeks over my shoulder (which annoys me to no end) and then when I do have the spare time, I can't get anything to come out the way I want it to.
Which explains this chapter. Because I so much planned for this and I couldn't get it to come out right at all.
So, one of these days, I'll probably revamp it. Maybe. We'll see. Sorry for the suckiness. Please review! :]
Also, next chapter: Blaine has a revelation. Plus, this last chapter basically documented the episode Sexy, so guess what episode is next? Got a clue yet? Stay tuned. :]
