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It's Cold Outside


Setting: Post Mass Effect 3. Earth, December 24th

"I really can't stay!" Ashley half-whined, pretending to struggle out of her boyfriend's arms.

"But it's cold outside, baby," Shepard retorted playfully. With a huff, Ash finally pulled herself out of Shepard's grasp and off the couch. Giving him a loving smile, Ash walked out of his spacious living room and into the adjoining kitchen to fetch her coat off the rack.

"I've got to go away," Ash told him sadly. "I'd hate to keep my family waiting up all night for me."

"Then just call them and let 'em know you're staying over with me tonight," Shepard offered as he trailed behind like the dopey eyed pup he was. "You heard the weather report. It's really cold out there tonight."

"In case you've forgotten, all the phones are down." With her wool cap situated, Ash walked back up to Shepard and looped her hands around his neck, bringing him down for a quick kiss. "I know we don't get a lot of time to spend together because of our jobs. But this evening has been… so very nice. And I'll see you again tomorrow when we all open gifts."

John winced at the contact of her hands, though it did little to abate his smile. "Jeeze, your hands are like ice. Here," Shepard took a hold of her smaller hands and incased them in his own. "Let me hold them and warm them up."

Shepard gave her an affectionate smile. "I've been hoping you'd drop by. Between your Spectre status and my new job as Councilor, I feel like we hardly get to see each other anymore. And that prevents me from showing just how much I love you." Which he emphasized with another meaningful kiss.

When she pulled back, Ash said, "I know you love me. You don't have to constantly remind me with all this sappy crap. And you know I love you with all my heart, right?"

"Of course." Shepard let go of her hands and gripped her supple waist, pulling her closer to him. "But I always like being reminded. So why don't you spend the night and show me again?"

Ash gave him a lopsided grin. "My mother will start to worry if I'm okay."

"You're a Spectre! You're trained to survive far worse than this. Come on, baby, what's your hurry?"

"The thought of Sarah pacing the floor, waiting for me. I promised her I'd help bake some cookies for tomorrow."

"Oh, that does sound lovely," Shepard commented idly as he worked Ashley's coat off her shoulders. "But do you want to know what's better than cookies? Curling up with the one you love and listening to the warm fireplace roar."

"You really don't know when to quit?" Ashley accused with a grin, only half-fighting to keep her coat on. "I really do have to scurry."

Shepard gave her a pining look. "Please, beautiful, I'm begging here! Don't hurry off so soon."

Seeing the way Shepard looked at her with such love and devotion, it made her heart melt. Giving him a coy look she said, "Well… maybe just half a drink more."

His grin was beyond triumphant. Shepard gave her a peck on the cheek and said, "Cue up some music while I pour us some glasses."

Ash gave him a smirk and walked over to the stereo. She turned it on and flipped to a station that was playing Christmas carols for the holidays. And one of her favorites was on! 'Honey, its Chilly Outdoors' by one of those Frank Sinatra sounding musicians from way back when.

A hand suddenly wormed it way around her waist again and Ash had to suppress a giggle when she felt Shepard's lips at the nape of her neck. "Your drink, Madame," he told her as he presented a sparkling glass of white wine. She took the glass and allowed herself to be dragged back down to the couch, where Shepard had her lean back against his broad chest.

"So what will the neighbors think?" Ash asked before taking a sip. She grimaced slightly, not expecting such a strong flavor. "Ooh, that's some strong stuff. You know, a mysterious looker walks into the human Councilor's vacation home, never to be seen again until tomorrow morning?"

"They're probably thinking of a hundred different ways to use it against me," Shepard replied, although it sounded like he couldn't care less. "Believe me, baby, it's bad out there in the political jungle."

Ash nodded and took another sip, already feeling lightheaded. "Say, what's in this drink? I may need a cab rather than drive myself home."

"There're no cabs to be had out there," Shepard told her. "Their base of operations got blanketed too."

"Well how convenient for you then," Ash said with a grin. She swiveled in his arms to lay her head against his shoulder and stare up at him lovingly.

Shepard caressed her cheek with his free hand, and Ash moaned silently at the touch. "Have I ever mentioned how your eyes are like starlight?"

Ash leaned into his warm hand. "I wish I knew how to break the spell you put over me."

"Even if you did, I know you'd never do it," Shepard opined. He paused and seemed to give Ash a once over. "Ash, you know I think your hair looks swell. Here, let me have that hat."

"What?" Before she could react, Shepard snatched the wool cap off her head. "No no no! Shepard, you give that back right now!" But twas all for not, as Shepard flung it away into the recesses of his house.

Only staring after her lost cap for a moment, Ash settled back onto Shepard and gave him a malign glare. "Oh come on, who wears hats indoors?" Shepard asked rhetorically. He leaned in and planted a kiss atop her head. "Besides, with every piece of clothing you relinquish, the more I can move in closer."

"You cheeky bastard," she accused with a grin. With a sigh she rested her head against his shoulder. "Well, at least I'm gonna say I tried to get away."

Shepard feigned a hurt look. "What's the sense in hurting my pride, darlin?"

"I really should have left when I had the chance," Ash joked. She planted a loving kiss on the cleft of his chin. "But I suppose there are worse alternatives than staying the night with you."

She got a got a big toothy grin in return. "Baby, don't you hold any doubt that this will be the best Christmas Eve ever." The pair of them moved closer together, eyes drifting shut. They leaned in, and Ashley could just barely taste the wine on her lover's lips as the song reached its crescendo…

And then the front door slammed opened, with a dual toned voice calling out, "Oh baby it's cold outside!"

Shepard and Ashley panicked, scrambling away from one another and just barely making sure their glasses of wine didn't spill over in their surprise. When they'd gotten situated on either end of the couch, they looked up to find Garrus walking into the living room, unraveling his scarf from around his neck.

"Merry Christ-Mass or whatever it's called," Garrus greeted cheerily as he walked in. "Oh hey Ash! I didn't know you'd be here too."

"What are you doing here, Garrus?" Shepard wanted to know.

"My mission in the Terminus got canceled. Something about the mercs with the stolen warheads blowing themselves up." Garrus then proceeded to flop down onto the couch between the two humans, entirely relaxed and not at all aware of what he'd just interrupted. "So I figured I'd drop by my best buddy's house and spend a couple of human holidays with him. Seeing Ashley is a nice bonus as well!"

"You couldn't have called ahead? Or better yet, just go spend time with your own family?"

"The phones are down. And besides, from all the propaganda videos of me during the war, being all heroic and dashing, my family's sick of looking at my ugly mug. Their words, of course."

"Mine too," Ash muttered sourly, taking a liberal drink from her glass.

Garrus looked between his two human friends with a pining gaze. "I'm sorry, but am I interrupting something? We hardly see each other anymore, and I figured you guys would be happier to see me."

"We are happy to see you, buddy," Shepard placated. "It's just that we were kind of in the middle of…" He let the idea hang in the air and gestured to the room around them.

And as Garrus surveyed the room, the C-Sec portions of his mind started to kick in. He noted the glasses of wine in Shepard's and Ashley's hands. The flushed cheeks on their faces. The somewhat romantic Christ-Mass songs playing softly in the background. The lights turned down low with a fireplace warming the room. The fuzzy blankets perfect for snuggling. The platter of chocolate dipped strawberries on the coffee table.

All of these factoids combined into a single idea, and the realization of what he'd walked in on finally dawned upon Garrus Vakarian. "Oooooooooohhhhh," he moaned, not unlike a petulant pre-schooler who just realized painting the walls was not such a good idea as they previously thought.

"Yeah," Ashley agreed. "Oh."

Garrus wrung his hands together, practically chafing under the pointed looks the two humans were giving him. He'd have to play this right in order to come out of this situation on top, and Garrus Vakarian was galaxy renowned for being a smooth talker.

"Well, I think you guys are in luck!" Garrus announced with a smirk. "We all know what might have happened without me showing up could be nowhere near as exciting as what will happen now that I'm here!"

And so Garrus had two glasses of wine thrown in his party crashing face. And then he had to pay the dry cleaner's bill for the couch.


Author's Note: Happy/Merry Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice/New Years everyone!