Disclaimer: Do not own Slam Dunk and chars.
There goes my heart, just passing by
Totallyloud
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Haruko stood in front of Rukawa's room. Since the two of them arrived late for the trip back home yesterday, the group's departure was moved today. After two hours, they will be returning back home.
Haruko had thought about it thoroughly and she decided to talk to Rukawa.
It's just that, Rukawa wasn't in the room at the moment. She sighed as she stared at the door. "I wonder where he went…" She bit her lip as she turned around and slowly started walking. Just when she finally decided to talk, he's the one not there.
"Oh, well… I guess I'll just buy souvenirs…?"
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"Eh," Haruko looked around her and got lost in the crowd. "Oh no, where am I?"
She squeezed through the groups of people in front of her until she saw something huge. She gasped. "A shrine.."
Walking towards it, she noticed someone who came from there. "Ru--kawa-kun…"
'So he went to the shrine?' She watched as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked towards her direction, face unreadable as usual.
When he lifted up his face, Haruko suddenly felt like hiding. But it was all too late. He already spotted her. She knew that because his eyebrow twitched a millimeter.
She clenched her fists and took a deep breath as he approached. "Rukawa-kun, I wanted to talk to you."
He raised an eyebrow then nodded. "Nn. Yeah, me too."
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"So…" Haruko glanced at her companion from the corners of her eye. They stood feet above from the shrine where there was a nice view of it in the woods. There were trees around them. The sun was about to set. 'It's so beautiful…' She thought, but quickly shook her head. 'Time to get serious here.'
"I, uhm, I wanted to tell you…" She started, her hands quite shaky. 'What did he want to say?' "That I… totally understand if you want to stop what we're doing right now." She caught her breath as she stared intently on the ground.
"…"
"I mean, I'm so moody and weird and… I know it's irritating and all. My feelings are weak and it easily gets tampered by other things and emotions. I didn't mean to make you angry by being awkward and avoiding you. It's just that-" She paused.
He was just watching her, waiting. "Just what?"
She took a deep breath and her voice became softer. "Izumi-san…"
A scowl formed on Rukawa's face. "Izumi?"
Haruko looked up at him then bit her lip. "No, I-"
"What did she tell you?" He was now facing her.
"I-" She stared up into his intent gaze as she slowly answered. "She told me… nothing, it just, maybe, it seems to her that I was pulling you away from what you really want."
Rukawa gripped her arms. "What?"
"I…" She tried to look at anything but him.
"Akagi." His voice echoed in her head as she slowly returned her gaze at him.
She gulped, feeling small under his looks.
"Do you believe her?"
"But maybe… she's right." She looked away, eyes sad.
He looked at her, jaw clenched tightly. His grip loosened from her and he let her go. "Nn. Do you not… trust me?"
"… trust you," She stared at him and remembered the picture she saw. She looked away. "But who was she too you? Something important? I suddenly feel like I'm interfering with something significant between you two…" She looked down.
"I… I don't want to get involved any deeper if that's the case. It's like there's this hollow in my heart…" She grasped her chest.
He looked away as well. "You don't need to know."
Her eyes flickered as she slowly faced him. "What? But h-how can you ask me to trust you?" Her voice was hoarse, she paused.
She took a deep breath. "And I-I… I don't know. I don't know if I should feel like this or," She bit her lip, her hands tightening. "…if I even have the right to feel like this." She stepped away. "I know this is not anything serious."
He faced her, his stare was like a rock, hard and not moving. "What do you mean?"
"I just interest you, right? Do you even… like me, Rukawa-kun? Do I have the right to be sad over a matter like that? Please tell me."
"What do you think? We are going out."
"And? What else… does that mean?" She whispered; eyes with a pained expression. "What am I allowed to do, to feel? I feel like I'm going overboard with my emotions."
"You interest me." He muttered as he clenched his jaw, not sparing her a look, his hands on the wooden railing tightening.
Haruko stared at him helplessly then finally, sighed. "But, do you like me?" She asked softly as she bit her lip.
Rukawa slowly turned to face her fully, eyebrows furrowing, confused. "…"
She waited for him to answer, her hand shaking slightly. 'Please answer. Please.' But no reply came. The truth was there in front of her.
A sad smile finally flashed on her face as she nodded. "I… knew this was the truth, from the beginning." She bit her lip as she slowly bowed. "I get it now. Thank you."
She turned around, ready to head off. Clenching her fist tightly, she took a deep breath and spoke out the words she dreaded to say, "Rukawa-kun, I think it'd be better if we just stay friends. It'd be better for you to focus on basketball and for me, to have back… my old life. I'm sorry for interfering; Izumi-san will take care of you."
Rukawa stared hard at the ground. "…"
"So… do your best, okay?" She felt her eyes water. 'Why won't he say anything…' It took her great self control to not cry that very moment.
He looked up and stared at her retreating back. "I don't want her."
Haruko paused; she bit her lip as she controlled herself. 'Don't turn around, don't turn around! You've made your decision.' She chanted in her head. Closing her eyes, tears fell but she didn't let him see, she didn't face him.
She shook her head. "…that's not true. Don't lie."
She brought up a hand to stop her sobs. "Thank you. For giving me a chance, Rukawa-kun. I was really, really… h-happy." She nodded and paused as she felt her voice waver. She gulped a big lump in her throat as she finally started to walk shakily.
"…goodbye." Tears finally made their way down trailing on her face.
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Rukawa stood alone, head bowed down as he leaned against a tree. He stared down at his shuddering hand.
Slowly, he closed his fingers which were still shaking.
BAM! He punched the tree he was leaning on, teeth grinding. "Why?" He gritted his teeth. '...couldn't I say anything.'
"Damn it."
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Haruko was also leaning against a tree for support, her knees were giving in. She bit her lip as she tried to stop crying before she could return to the cabin.
She looked up to stop the tears from falling any more. She blinked her eyes as she brushed away the tears and rubbed her cheeks dry. "Stop it, Haruko…" She scolded herself.
"S-stop feeling hurt…" Her shoulders shook. "S-stop it…" She whispered as she leaned her head on the trunk.
"Stop…it." She sobbed, covering her mouth to stop the sobs building up in her throat. Her other hand went up to feel her throbbing heart. 'He doesn't like you… So stop it.'
"It hurts… so much." She brought both her hands to her face as she cried it all out.
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AN: Reviews? Reactions, suggestions or corrections?:D
