*A/N: Here comes the climax - if you haven't done so yet, get a big piece of your favorite pie and enjoy*


"You seem to know the way

To turn my frown upside down

You always know what to say

To make me feel like everything's ok.

When life had locked me out, I turn to you

So open the door.

Cuz you're all I need right now, it's true

Nothin' works like you."

-- Knock, Knock by Lenka


Tuesday afternoon, 3:30 P.M., Marshall's house

Mary was beginning to wonder if Marshall was going to sleep the clock around. Not that he didn't deserve or need it – but she was bored and hungry. He had threatened her within an inch of her life the first time she had stayed over at his place not to touch his gas range/oven. She had fired back that she had done the cooking for herself and Brandi growing up when her mom was on drinking binges.

"Define cooking." Her partner quirked a Spock-like eyebrow at her.

"Well, um, half ass sandwiches," she began.

He held up his hand. "What kind of sandwiches? Never mind, I don't really want to know. Sandwiches don't count as cooking unless you mean grilled cheese or hamburgers or something more gourmet."

She sneered at his superior expression. "I can make breakfast."

"What – cold cereal?"

She slugged him in the shoulder as he giggled. "No jackass, a hot breakfast. Call Brandi and ask her. I can make scrambled eggs and bacon and toast."

Marshall tried to look impressed. "Without burning them – or setting off the smoke alarm?"

"Hey! The charred bits add flavor!"

Marshall nearly choked on his sip of coffee. "Mer, while you are staying in my house, you are never to touch my gas range or oven. Is that clear?"

She bared her teeth at him. "Yes, Rachel Ray!"

Mary smiled at the memory and sipped her coffee. Fortunately Marshall had an 'idiot' proof coffee maker and as a result it was one of the few appliances she was allowed to touch in his pristine, gourmet stocked kitchen. She glanced at the clock above the sink as her stomach growled. She had been awake for almost two hours now and there still were no sounds of life from the bedroom. Since it was way past breakfast time Mary grabbed the phone to order a pizza.

As she waited for the delivery boy to arrive, she spied one of Marshall's many Sudoku books on the counter. She filled in five puzzles with random numbers and letters in INK and laughed knowing that he would blow a gasket when he found it later. She then decided to go raid Marshall's wallet for some cash to pay for the pizza since it was his fault she had to order food in the first place.

She had just taken his wallet off the dresser when Marshall's voice made her drop it on the floor in surprise.

"You know, not all of us lie on our driver's license, Mer. I actually tell the truth when asked about my age and weight."

"Well, good afternoon Sleeping Beauty!" She picked up his wallet and crossed the room, sitting down on the bed beside him. "Are you feeling better? Did you sleep well?"

"That was the best night sleep I've gotten in – I don't remember how long, Mer. Thank you." He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

To her astonishment she felt herself grow warm under his admiring gaze. "You're welcome. Listen, the pizzas will be here soon. I need some cash." She threw the wallet toward him and he caught it easily.

He unfolded it and looked inside. "Pizzas – more than one?" He handed her some cash and tossed the billfold onto the nightstand.

"Yes, lucky for me they were having a special since you can eat a whole one by yourself."

"I'm starving – what time is it?"

"It's almost four in the afternoon."

Marshall blinked in surprise. "I slept all morning and most of the afternoon – and you didn't wake me?"

"Well I thought I might have to since you don't let me touch anything in your kitchen and I've been awake since one o'clock! But I finally gave up on you waking up and fixing me one of your gourmet feasts and ordered pizza." She broke off at the sound of the doorbell. She scrambled off the bed as Marshall grabbed her hand.

"Aren't you forgetting something – like pants?"

Mary looked down and realized for the first time that she was still wearing his Yosemite Sam T-shirt – and nothing else. She laughed. "What – really? Just to answer the door?"

"I'm fine with it – but I don't want you giving the pizza delivery boy an eyeful," he finished threateningly.

"Ok, give me your pants."

Marshall's heart nearly stopped. "Excuse me?"

"Well, you said I can't go out there without pants and you're wearing the ones that match this shirt. I'm a girl – clothes have to match, even pajamas," Mary explained calmly, desperately trying to keep a straight face. "So outta your pants, Mann!"

The doorbell rang again followed by heavy banging on the front door. "Pizza delivery!"

Throwing back the covers Marshall got to his feet and plucked the money out of Mary's fingers. He leaned close to her ear and ruffled her hair. "You're no girl – you're a devil!" and he left to get the door as Mary collapsed on the bed in a fit of giggles. She didn't quite know what had come over her, or what was happening between them, but she sure was enjoying it.

The aroma of pizza reached her nostrils and she turned over on the bed to see Marshall leaning against the door frame, holding both pizza boxes in his hands, his face unreadable. "You know, after that little stunt you pulled I have a good mind to try and eat both of these."

With a howl of rage Mary threw herself at him and Marshall's face broke into a grin as he held both boxes over his head. She jumped up and down on her toes, pounded on his chest, but through it all, he remained still as a statue.

"That's the best you've got?" he taunted.

A predatory gleam came into Mary's eyes and for a moment he felt a stab of fear from issuing the challenge. Mary stepped back briefly and looked him up and down, slowly. With a wicked grin she threw her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to fuse their lips together. She felt the initial shock and resistance run through his body before he relaxed, letting the boxes fall to the floor as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Mary felt a momentary flash of victory but it was quickly dampened by the power of emotions she was feeling- emotions that she previously ran away from because they scared her.

Marshall pulled away first, leaning his forehead against hers and meeting her eyes. "Ok, I guess you can have a couple of slices. Then I think we need to talk."


An hour later, Mary was shaking her head in dismay at the empty pizza boxes. "I can't believe you ate your pizza and half of mine!"

He shrugged. "You got your couple slices."

She picked up her wadded paper napkin and threw at him. He easily dodged the paper missile and it skidded across the floor.

"You're going to pick that up later," he shook his finger at her, like he was correcting an errant child.

They were sitting in Marshall's living room, on the couch with their feet propped up on the coffee table. Mary had finally put some pajama pants on, not because she was going outside, but because her legs had gotten cold. Marshall was secretly relieved. They needed to have a serious discussion and he didn't know if he could do that and keep his hormones in check with so much of her leg showing.

The partners had been sitting in comfortable silence for about ten minutes before Mary finally broke it. "So, you're not the only one who's been having nightmares. I had my own last night, just before you did."

"Tell me."

Hesitantly, with many pauses and breaks, she told him about the 'office engagement party, Horst shooting that wasn't a shooting' nightmare. When she finished, she had tears in her eyes and he was refusing to look at her.

"Marshall? Is what you said in my dream true?"

"It was a dream, Mer."

"But so much of it was real – I mean, happened in real life. Your toast, you said that to me at the office party, word for word. That was true, wasn't it? And you didn't mean 'I love you like a friend', did you?"

Marshall finally looked at her, but didn't say anything. Just looked at her, much like he had that afternoon in the office.

"God, Marshall! Why didn't you tell me sooner? Before Raph proposed?!"

"I did- many times."

"Like hell you did! I would have remembered if you said, 'I'm in love with you, Mer'!" she cried.

Marshall shook his head at her. "That's what I meant in your dream, Mer. On some level you understood. I couldn't just come out and say that I was in love with you – you would have completely panicked! You would have run far away from me! I would have lost the best friend I've ever had. So instead I promised not to die – for you. I promised not to leave you like so many others have before. I promised you that I would stay."

The tears that Mary had been holding back began to slip down her cheeks and Marshall had to fight the feeling to lean forward and brush them away. "Then what was last night? Why were you pushing me away?"

"Can you try to look at things from my perspective for a minute? I'm madly in love with you – I have been for years. But I'd given up hope that you and I would be anything more than best friends and partners. I was trying to let go of my dream of a future with you; because that's all a romantic relationship with you could ever be – a dream, just pie in the sky," he finished softly.

"What did you say?"

"Pie in the sky; it means 'a fanciful notion, a ludicrous concept, or an illusory promise of a desired outcome that is unlikely to happen,'" he stated matter-of-factly.

"I know what it means, jackass, and who are you, Wikipedia?" She couldn't believe that for the second time in twenty-four hours that term was being thrown in her face. Why did it hurt so much more this time than the first? "Marshall, why do you think that a relationship with me is pie in the sky?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Did you not listen to the definition, Mer? Do you need me to go over it again and use smaller words?"

She simply stared at him and waited.

"Because the idea of 'you and me' IS 'fanciful, ludicrous, and illusory'!" he exclaimed as he got up and began to pace. As he spoke he ticked off points on his fingers. "It's ludicrous from your point of view – the very idea of you seeing me as something other than your Doofus, trivia loving, slightly geeky partner is ridiculous! From my point of view – this is where the 'fanciful' part comes in! My wanting to be with you in a romantic way is the very definition of a 'fanciful notion'!" He collapsed into one of his easy chairs across from the couch and stared at the floor, refusing to meet Mary's eyes. Silence fell over the room and Marshall wondered bitterly if he had accomplished what he had set out to do last night – create emotional distance between him and Mary. She wasn't saying anything and for once, he had absolutely no idea what she was thinking. He was about to offer her a ride home when she spoke.

"What about the third definition, Marshall? What does that word 'illusory' mean, anyway?"

His head shot up in amazement. Mary was leaning forward on the couch and she seemed genuinely interested in his answer. "It's an adjective – it means 'deceptive, misleading, or false'."

Mary cocked her head and appeared to be considering the definition. "So, the third definition of pie in the sky is a 'false promise' of something you really want but is unlikely to happen?"

At his nod of confirmation, her face broke out in a grin and within a few seconds she was doubled over on the couch, laughing hysterically.

"Mer? What's so funny?" Marshall rose and joined her again on the couch. "I wish you'd share the joke with me because I could use a good laugh about now too."

Mary sat up and wiped the tears of laughter from her face. "Oh Doofus, don't you see?" she reached out and affectionately tousled his hair. "You and I aren't pie in the sky – Raph and I are!"

His look of confusion grew and Mary sobered quickly. "Marshall, Raph and I aren't engaged anymore."

"What?"

She nodded. "Last night, just before you texted me, we had this huge fight. He said the only thing that mattered to me was work – actually you. He asked me why I never wore his ring and got really mad when I didn't have an answer for him. He threw it across the room and said we were 'cake in the sky' – of course he meant 'pie'. Crazy Dominican still gets his idioms mixed up."

Marshall shook his head, trying to clear it. He'd never felt so confused. "I still don't see how you and Raph are the pie in the sky and not us."

"Raph wanted to marry me and gave me an engagement ring, even started planning our future – there's his desired outcome. I promised to marry him in a moment of weakness and have spent many moments since regretting the decision – there's the false promise. But the whole time Raph, me, and you knew that it was very unlikely that the marriage would ever take place. You chalked it up to your unrequited feelings for me and the misguided notion that we were pie in the sky. I just thought that eventually Raph would get fed up and leave me – they all do. But Raph-"Mary paused for breath and to laugh. "Only Raph could see what was really going on."

Marshall couldn't believe that he'd followed all that rambling over the wild beating of his heart. Did this mean she could possibly – he quieted the whisper of hope. "Mer, what did Raph see?"

Mary moved to straddle his lap and looped her arms loosely around his neck. "He said last night that he had thought for long time that it was only the job I loved and that was why I would never leave." She leaned forward and placed her forehead against his, drawing strength from him and willing herself to continue. There was no turning back now. She knew he loved her – but the feelings that he had awakened in her were still so new. In previous relationships when she had started to feel hints of something this strong, she was already running for the hills. Why was she not running now? She leaned back and looked into his eyes, smiling as she realized he was trembling as much as she. Because this is Marshall – and I will not run from him; he's just as scared as I am when it comes to this relationship crap. "Raph said that there's one person I'll never leave – and that person matters more to me than anyone else."

Marshall closed his eyes as her words washed over him. The whisper of hope was back and growing stronger. She's talking about me, right? His hands began caressing her arms, even as his eyes began to fill.

"Marshall?" She said gently, waiting for him to open his eyes again. "I realized at some point last night as I was lying in your arms that the reason I never wore Raph's ring is because I was already committed." She moved her hands from the back of his neck and cupped his face, making sure his eyes were locked with hers. Blue met green. "I've been committed to you for years. I just never realized how much until yesterday."

A couple of tears escaped and splashed down Marshall's cheeks. Ever so slowly Mary leaned forward in his lap and kissed each drop away. She was about to sit back when he took her face in his hands and brought their lips together. This time the kiss wasn't bruising like last night in the kitchen. This time the kiss wasn't about Mary trying to win a challenge. This time the kiss was soft, sweet, lingering, and full of promises of days to come.

When they broke apart, Mary sat back on his lap and opened her mouth but Marshall placed his trembling fingers against her lips and swallowed nervously. He had waited, dreamed of this moment for years. Now that it was here, he was literally terrified of what could happen. "I won't be your rebound, Mer. You've been in a relationship with Raph for over two years now and I think you need to make a clean break with him and take some time before – that is, if you want to-"he fumbled to a stop.

Mary placed her arms around his neck again and leaned in, dropping another soft, slow kiss on his lips. "You're trembling, Marshall."

He laughed. "You're surprised?"

She shook her head and slid off his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder as he slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to his side. "Marshall? I think I know what you were trying to do last night. You had to see if we could just be friends because I was marrying Raph – is that right?"

She felt him sigh into her hair. "Something like that. I didn't know what else to do, Mer. I had to see if I could bury my feelings deep and just be your partner. I thought you were still engaged."

"Well, I'm not. Or I won't be as soon as Raph and I have a chance to sit down and talk about everything. I suppose I can't avoid that conversation." She captured his free hand and held it tightly in hers. "You know, when we do start our relationship, you know you're not allowed to leave me, right?"

Marshall heard the tremor in her voice even though she tried to keep her tone light. She was still so much the little girl wounded by her father leaving her behind to raise a baby sister and clean up after an alcoholic mother. He silently cursed the man for abandoning his family, while at the same time he knew it was those same life experiences that had shaped Mary into the strong woman she had become. All her fire, passion, claws, and balls – combined with the little girl vulnerability that she hardly let anyone else see but him. God help him, how could he not love a woman like that?

He placed two fingers under Mary's chin and tipped her head back so that their eyes met. He dropped a kiss on her brow and temple. Pulling back, he noticed how she lifted her face up almost imperceptibly and with a laugh he dropped a quick peck on her lips. He brushed the hair back from her face and said softly, "I'm not your father, Mer, or any of those other men who always leave. You shot me through the heart years ago – and I'm chained to your side."

Mary rolled her eyes and punched him in the opposite shoulder, making sure to miss the scar from Horst. "You are such a girl, Doofus! How can I take you seriously when you rattle off romantic drivel like that and you're wearing Yosemite Sam pajamas?"

"You love my wacky pajamas!" he crowed. "And that's another reason I'm not going anywhere – you're holding my Yosemite Sam T-shirt hostage!"

Mary smirked and looked down at the picture of Yosemite Sam holding a blazing shotgun in each hand on the front of her T-shirt. "Well if you'd just give in and hand over your pants, we wouldn't have a problem, Marshall Mann."

Marshall giggled and drew Mary closer to his side, breathing in her scent, safe in the knowledge that he could do it now and not get hit. "That's my girl," he murmured.


**The end? What do you all think? Marshall muse, Mary muse, and I have an epilogue - do you want it? You know what I want - Review please!**