Hello! I'm trying to update as often as I can, but in between writing the chapters and doing other things in my life, I don't have as much time as I wish I did to post more regularly.
Anyway, this chapter comes in two parts. It's not a special mini-series or anything like that, I just wanted to break it into two. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and part two.
You may notice that this chapter has two titles, one in the selection bar and another in the document. That's because the one in the document is the full title, but it's so long that I didn't want to put it in the selection bar so it doesn't throw everything off.
Chapter 10: My First Time Thinking That Maybe Carly Does Like Freddie (Part I)
I always knew Carly didn't love Freddie.
Until yesterday.
Now, I'm starting to doubt what I thought was the truth.
It started last night. I was sitting in the Shay apartment, waiting for Carly to return. It was getting later and later and I couldn't deal with it anymore, I was just too curious as to what was taking her so long. Spencer wasn't around, so I was able to slip out of the room without him noticing.
Deciding that the dance must be over by that point, I led myself to the Groovy Smoothie. Slowly, I opened the door and looked around for my best friend. Then I saw her, right in the middle of the store. With Freddie.
I'm used to seeing the two of them together, after all, they are friends. But this time was different. They were dancing. Slow dancing.
The door swung closed behind me but I didn't notice, I just stood there trying to process what I was seeing.
I'd seen them dance together before, but it was always with a group of friends and just a casual friendly dance. This was different.
A sickly feeling spread throughout my body. I couldn't quite make it out, but I was pretty sure it was a slight sense of betrayal due to Carly not telling me that she liked Freddie. He had been asking her out for years, and she refused him every time. If she liked him too, why did she always deny it? Why did she never tell me?
Sure, if she told me, I wouldn't let up torturing and mocking Freddie, and I'd be kind of disgusted, but I would never be mean to her, after all, she is my best friend. And that's exactly what I don't understand. If we're best friends, why didn't she tell me?
Maybe she felt embarrassed, after all, this is Freddie we're talking about. But it was public knowledge that he has a crush on her, so I don't get why she wouldn't admit the same.
I stared at the two of them, but my thoughts competed with my vision, causing the dancers to appear blurry, and my mind to be clouded in confusion. The undertone of sadness wouldn't leave, and I unconsciously led myself out of the Groovy Smoothie.
Walking past the door, I glanced back inside, making sure that what I saw wasn't just a dream. But sure enough, as I looked through the glass, I could clearly see Carly and Freddie, arms around each other, swaying slowly to the music. All of this was too perplexing for me, and I fled the scene, attempting yet failing to piece together my thoughts the entire way to my house.
The rest of the night passed in a haze. My efforts to figure out what I saw and what it meant overwhelmed me, causing everything else I did to be delayed. I was so far away from the real world that my mother had to yell at me a few more times than usual to get my attention so I could pass her the chicken at dinner.
I got barely any sleep. The entire night I tossed and turned, trying to piece my thoughts together, but I made no progress. Does Carly love Freddie? No, she can't. But, she was slow dancing with him. Why wouldn't she tell me? How long has Freddie known? Ew, have they been going out? That's not possible, she definitely would have told me. She's a horrible secret keeper. I just… I just don't understand why she would keep something like this from me, we're best friends.
My stomach churned with uneasiness, and again, I decided it was caused by some sort of betrayal I felt from Carly, since she never told me she loved Freddie. What kind of best friend keeps secrets like this? Maybe I'm not the best to judge, but I still feel hurt. For some reason, thinking of Carly's betrayal didn't make me feel as sick as I did. There was something else bothering me. It was probably the paranoia in my mind that I couldn't figure this out. I hated not knowing something, I hated not being right.
Finally, my thoughts went into overload and shut down, allowing me to fall asleep.
This morning I woke up, brushing aside my covers and propping myself up on my pillows. Sunlight streamed geometrically through the blinds, which were twisted and slightly bent with age. Slowly, I swung my legs off of the bed and slid my feet to the floor.
Stumbling lazily into my bathroom, I picked up a toothbrush and started getting ready for the day. It was not until I looked in the mirror and rubbed my eyes that I noticed the shadows under them. I racked my brains as to why I felt and looked so tired, my face covered by a mask of sleepiness and my blonde curls drooping heavily around my face.
Then it hit me. Carly. I was thinking about Carly and the fact that she may be in love with Freddie.
At first, I tried to convince myself that she just forgot to tell me. But unfortunately, I know that one can't forget to tell their best friend that they're in love with their other friend. Someone may be able to "forget" to mention it, but not to actually forget.
I tried to weigh the factors to decide if she actually did love him, but that was too hard, because I have no idea what she could have been hiding from me. Then, I tried to weigh the pros and cons of this situation. It's good that I didn't mention it, because she doesn't know that I know, and in case she doesn't love him, then I don't look like a fool for bringing it up, but by not mentioning it, I'm also restricting myself from finding out the truth, which is becoming less and less bearable.
Why does this have to be so complex? Why couldn't she just tell me? Again, a sickly feeling built its way up in my stomach, threatening to grow every second I dwelled on this topic.
Did he tell her that we kissed? What did she say? Nevermind, he probably wouldn't want to admit to that. I know I don't.
I don't know what to do. Should I ask Carly? Would she even tell me the truth? Should I come right out and tell her what I saw? What then? Should I hint to it? I don't know if she'd even get the hints. Ugh. Why is this so complex?
Not paying attention, I set out on the route to Carly's house. It's so routine that I don't even realize what I'm doing. At last, I realize that I'm standing right out side of her apartment door.
That's where I am right now. My hand is lifted uneasily to the door, paused while I try to figure out if I want to go in or just turn back around. After all, what do I really want to hear? Do I want her to proclaim her undying love for Freddie? That's kind of a disturbing thought, but at least it'd prove me right. Or would I prefer for her to laugh and say, "he's a nice boy, but I don't like him like that"? That doesn't sound as daunting as the thought that she may actually love Freddie, but it may also be kind of embarrassing because, not only would I be wrong, but Carly would want an explanation of some sort too.
I let these thoughts swirl around in my mind, hoping that the longer I contemplate it, the sooner I'll come to a conclusion. But that isn't working.
Finally, I tighten my wavering hand into a fist and rap it on the door three times.
Thank you so much to everyone for reading! Please review, I love reading your reviews. When you love my story, I am very excited to continue, and when you critique it, I am glad to know what the people reading my story think so I can keep it in mind for the future.
I have a request. In honor of my tenth chapter (11th if you count the preface, but I'm not counting it), I have a favor to ask. What I would like for you (the people who read my story) to do, is to review all ten of my chapters and find your favorite quote from my story. It can be a phrase or a sentence, though sentences may be more helpful. The point of this is for me to find out what style of writing/what little blurbs my readers like most. Of course, you do not have to participate, but it would be very helpful for me, so I would greatly appreciate if you did participate. You may go back to the preface if your favorite sentence came from there. Just include it in your comment.
Thank you again. :) I hope you find your favorite sentence, but even if you don't, I am still super happy that people are reading my story!
Random note: someone commented on my poll that they don't understand why the list is such a big deal. I'm glad someone mentioned that, because I, in my little author world, just stick to my decision that it was important without thinking about the fact that maybe it wasn't obvious. My thought was that the list was a secret because they are certain points in Sam's life that were important to her, and Freddie realizes it was a secret because after he reads it, it sinks in that she was hiding it under her bed. Sorry that it wasn't clear to everyone!
