Way back when they were just friends, Austin would tell her that she was beautiful and any guy that she crushed on that rejected her, just wasn't good enough for her. Austin Moon was a sweet guy and his charm and devotion to her was probably what made her fall in love with him in the first place. It was times like this when Ally didn't feel beautiful that she would remember times like talking to Austin under a table because she was so embarrassed to even show her face. It was times like these when she really took his words to heart. But Austin wasn't there and those memories were all she had to cling to right now.
With her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, Ally scratched her cheek, her day old foundation rubbing off on her fingers. Yawning, she weakly pulled her suitcases inside the door of her home. It was good to be home, Ally reflected. She hated living out of a suitcase and those bunks on tour buses were nothing compared to the fluffy mattress of her own bed. Besides, coming home meant that Austin would be there shortly.
But Austin wasn't there and he wouldn't be for another week. She's gone three months without him and she would survive a little bit longer without him as well. Although part of her was excited to see Austin in a week, part of her was absolutely dreading the thought. The few times they'd communicated while apart, they'd fought. In the last fight, Austin had stated he wanted a divorce. The handfuls of conversations they've shared in the past month since then were spent treading on thin ice, afraid of another fight breaking out between them. While they had agreed to work on their marriage because both were afraid to lose the other, Ally still feared the end of her marriage was near. Just because a couple decided to work on their marriage didn't automatically mean their marriage was saved, did it?
Pushing her analyzing thoughts out of her head, Ally trudged, dragging her feet through the house and up the stairs to her bedroom as she was so tired. She had given one last concert last night and the frisky crowd had gotten a little out of control. Then spending what was left of the night talking to Austin , trying to make plans for next week when he arrived home, she hadn't of gotten any sleep. But none of that mattered, Ally told herself, pushing the door to her bedroom open. Almost sleep walking, Ally flopped face first into the sheets.
Just one quick nap, she promised herself. Then she would go see her Dad. Just one quick nap…
There's no way I can make it without ya
Do it without ya
Be here without ya
A smile crept across Ally's lips as she listened to the familiar words being sung by the familiar voice. Austin's still supposed to be in Europe. Why is he in our bedroom, serenading me? Ally's subconscious mind asked herself. Upon asking the question, the woman laid there in bed, not thinking about it, not really thinking of anything. Suddenly realizing the source of the music, Ally's eyes popped open, abruptly forcing her to fly out of bed to search for her phone.
Shaking her head, Ally reprimanded herself for foolishly thinking that Austin could actually be home and singing to her. If she had kept her normal ringtone, she never would have asked herself such a foolish question, her phone ringing registering to her brain immediately. But Austin had set Can't Do It Without Ya as her ringtone ever since his European tour was booked, stating that there was no way that he could have done it without her.
Her fingers grasping the device, Ally accepted the call and placed the phone to her ear. Without bothering to look at the caller I.D. Ally groggily greeted her caller. If her calculations were correct, it should be he sounding like he just woke up and not wide awake. It was probably the middle of the night where he was. Austin couldn't help but laugh at the way she answered the phone, sounding asleep. "Long night?" he chuckled in reply to her groggy hello.
He knew her so well that she knew that he knew that she was rolling her eyes at his statement. "Excuse me," she replied sarcastically. Her sarcastic tone caused Austin to frown. "I was just up all night talking to this really cute guy on the phone."
When she heard Austin smirk and ask, "how cute," was when she decided to play with him. "Oh very cute," Ally purred flirtatiously. "He has kind eyes."
"Uh-uh."
He sounded so jealous right then and Ally almost felt bad for goading him so, but she continued. "And hair that flops just the right way."
"Yeah."
The jealously scale meter was rapidly increasing and Ally couldn't help but picture Austin as a cat with his back arched, hair raised, and hissing. Still, she continued to tease him. "Oh and he smells like a fresh summer's breeze."
"Ally…"
But Ally chose to ignore him, gushing, "And the hottest thing of all is that his name is the same as that of a city in Texas."
Even if at least 3000 miles separated them with a giant ocean in between, Ally could picture Austin narrowing his eyes and pouting. "Ally, I swear if you're talking about Dallas, I'm gonna-"Nope, he definitely was not happy.
Rolling her eyes, Ally decided to put him out of his misery. "Austin," she said pointedly. "I'm talking about you."
xXx
Huffing at Ally's little game, Austin wanted to chastise her, but decided against it. Chastising her would only fuel a fire, erupting it into a full blown fight and they didn't need that right now. It was just that once upon a time Ally had used that same exact description for someone else, someone that wasn't him. Of course ten years ago when that description was about the cell phone accessory cart guy and not him, Austin was just relieved to know that Ally did not have a crush on him. It was almost comically ironic how ten years after that fiasco, he was trying to save his marriage to the exact same girl he swore he would never like as more than a friend.
"You are so insecure."
What was that? Austin almost didn't catch her mumbled statement. Insecure? She was calling him insecure? If anyone was insecure, it'd be her. After all, she was the one that would get jealous whenever he shown interest in any girl that wasn't him. Before and after their first short and failed try at being something more than friends. Oh, who was he kidding? He had been jealous first when glue gun guy showed up from camp Whack-A-Mole or wherever the hell he was from. Then, he did automatically assume she was cheating on him after reading that article. What kind of husband would do that if they really loved and trusted their wife? But still, weren't they past that whole cheating misunderstanding? Why was she so dead set on resurrecting what they had already buried?
"I'm insecure?" He asked incredulously, his voice rising at every new syllable he spoke.
"Yes you are!" She accused him again and Austin knew that he had indeed fueled the fire that he hadn't wanted to. "Who did you think I was talking about? You know I was talking to you last night!"
He knew they shouldn't get into this, but it was too late. It had already been started, and finishing an argument calmly and with dignity was not something he was good at. Clenching his fist, he fired back, "Well, I think I kind of have the right to be, considering my wife was flirting with other men!"
He heard her exasperated sigh, rejuvenating her strength to fight back. "I didn't cheat!"
"But you wanted to!" He snapped, accenting it to make his point stand out.
Hearing her light sobs over the phone, Austin knew that he had gone too far. Yet he didn't care. Maybe he had hurt her by reminding her of that fact, but couldn't she see that just the thought of her wanting the attention and affections of another was hurting him? Why was he always afraid of hurting her feelings? What about his? Didn't his feelings matter to her?
"I don't want to fight anymore and neither do you," Ally whispered. Her voice sounded so small and frail, much like her body was. "Can we just discuss this like adults when you get home next week?"
"Fine."
"Fine."
No declarations of love were said as their parting goodbyes and Austin knew he would not be getting to sleep anytime soon. Staring up at the ceiling, there was only one thing that passed through Austin's mind. The same question he's been asking himself ever since he saw that damn Cheetah Beat article rumoring an Auslly divorce. And that question was: when did things get so bad?
xXx
Angry, Ally threw the phone across the bedroom and hearing it hit the wall, sent her to her knees in body racking sobs. Why did Austin have to be such a jerk at times? Why was he so hell bound on kitchen sinking every fight they had and bringing up her cheating? Why couldn't he just let that go? His accusations still stung like that of a bee sting to the bottom of the foot. Well, if Austin Moon was just going to act like an insecure baby then good riddance. He didn't always have to ruin her happiness. Rising to her knees, Ally left her phone where it lay trudging to the bathroom to shower and change. Today would be a good day and she wouldn't think about Austin Monica Moon at all.
xXx
It was already late in the afternoon by the time Ally arrived at Sonic Boom. Closing her eyes, thousands of memories danced through her mind reminding her of all the good times her and Austin spent here alone or with Dez and Trish.
"I guess we're officially a couple now."
Sonic Boom had housed many different adventures for them over the years. Reminiscing over them all, only brought even more tears to her eyes. Before they could fall, Ally wiped them away, grateful for the waterproof mascara she wore. Blinking the renegades away, Ally focused on the sight of the store. Nothing had changed about Sonic Boom since she'd stopped working for her father. The downstairs was exactly the same and so was her father's cluttered office. The only difference was that her and Austin's old practice room lay abandoned, becoming just another black hole of a storage room. When they had bought their house and decided to make the roomy basement their new practice room, much of the furniture, games, and decorations had left Sonic Boom to decorate the practice room in their home. Only a few things had been left behind.
Noticing that her father was not downstairs at his normal post behind the counter, Ally flipped her hair over her shoulder before wandering up the stairs. The door to her father's office was closed, the employees only sign barring her entrance. Taking a deep breath, Ally summoned up her courage to knock. After three quick, short breaths, she curled her fingers into a fist and lightly pounded on the wooden door before her. Shuffling footsteps on the other side told Ally that it was too late to leave. It was too late to go home, call Austin back, fall on her knees, crying, and begging for his forgiveness. After he begged for her forgiveness first. Of course. He was after all more at fault than she was. Pushing those intruding thoughts out of her mind, Ally put on a smile so she would appear happy when her father opened the door. Slowly, the door creaked open.
"Ally, Honey!" Lester Dawson exclaimed at the sight of his only daughter, engulfing her small frame into a bone crushing hug.
"Hey Dad," Ally replied without so much conviction as she would have liked to portray as she returned the hug.
Pulling out of the hug, Lester disappeared back inside his office, leaving the door open for Ally to follow him. Scooting back to his desk, the older man fell back into chair, trying to arrange the desk's clutter into organization. Meanwhile, Ally removed the stack of file folders from the nearest chair and dropped them to the floor. The sound breaking the silence with a giant plop. With the obstacles out of her way, Ally took a seat in the chair, grateful to be able to spend some time with her father.
"So how's my favorite son-in-law in doing?" Lester asked.
Only son-in-law, Ally thought to herself, but refused to correct her father out loud. Tricking herself to think about something happy like kittens and second first dates, she plastered a fake smile onto her face. But it was a smile none the less. Hopefully, her father wouldn't catch on.
"He's good," she lied. "I actually just got off the phone with him before I came here." It wasn't a total lie, Ally mused. She had talked to Austin. Alright, so it was more fought with Austin, but her dad didn't need to know that. He didn't need to know about her marital problems. Besides, he loved Austin too much and if divorce was inevitable for her and Austin, Ally was pretty sure the whole ordeal would give her father an aneurism. It would kill her father and give her an incurable broken heart.
She should have known that while trying to avoid any thoughts of Austin, the conversation would turn to him. After all, Lester Dawson had always been a fan of Austin Moon's and a huge supporter of Auslly, even before the complicated mess of becoming an actual couple. While Ally would crush on and go on an occasional date with boys that were not Austin, the over-protective father wished that his daughter would fall for the one guy that he fully approved of-Her best friend. Shaking her head, Ally tried to shift her thoughts to something else, like her grandma's home baked cookies.
"He's coming home next week," she commented as she was unable to concentrate on anything but Austin. He had taken over her mind, just like he had stolen her heart all those years ago.
It was as if hearing the coming close of Austin's tour reminded him of Ally's national tour. "How was your tour, Sweetie?" He asked.
Groaning, Ally tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling as she let out an exasperated sigh.
Reading her body language completely wrong, Lester smiled. "That's great, Honey!"
Rolling her eyes at her father's naivety, Ally thanked God that her father subscribed to Better Homes and Gardens and Family Circle than the rag magazines like Cheetah Beat and People. If he took time reading the garbage in those magazines, it would be impossible to lie. Besides, who wants their father thinking that his own daughter was a cheating whore? Nope, her father was clueless when it came to the drama with Austin and that's how it would stay.
Deciding that she didn't want to stay here and be dragged into working her old shift again, Ally stood up. "I should really go," she said, pointing over her shoulder to the door. "I still have to unpack and-"
Lester stood up and wandered the short distance to his grown daughter and engulfed her in a hug once more. "Okay," he said, his tone indicating that he wished his daughter didn't have to leave so soon. "But your mother wants to see you too before you get so busy." Ally rolled her eyes at that statement. There was no doubt, she loved her parents and liked to spend time with them. However, her career tended to take her farther and farther from the people she loved the most. "So, we're taking you out to dinner tonight. I'll pick you up around 5:30."
Knowing that she couldn't decline the invitation, Ally nodded against her father's chest. "I love you, Dad," she quietly said, not wanting to leave his loving embrace.
xXx
Why did her thoughts always go back to Austin? It was if he was her thought's default setting, like the wallpaper on computer's desktop. Every time she promised herself that she would not think of him, she always did. Like the alcoholic or the cutter who promised themselves and others they wouldn't drink or cut anymore, they always did. Austin was her drug and there was no shaking him from her thoughts. So as she dug through the walk in closet, looking for an acceptable dress to wear out to dinner with her parents, Ally didn't even try to think about something else. She knew thoughts of Austin would always plague her.
Sighing, Ally pulled out a flower patterned sun dress and laid it on the edge of the bed as she wandered over to the bathroom to fix her makeup. The clock on the wall read 5:13, nagging the young woman to hurry up. Looking at the clock, Ally rolled her eyes, feeling like a princess who only had until midnight before her fantasy of glamour and princes came crashing to an end. All the same, she touched up her makeup, grateful for the lightness of it. She always had to wear it so much thicker when she was going out on stage. Finally slipping the dress over her head, Ally ran a brush through her curled tresses, tying them back so they stayed out of her face. Satisfied with her look, Ally took a deep breath staring at the picture of her and Austin that resided on her bedside table.
What was happening to them and more importantly could it be stopped?
Before Ally could think any more about the subject, she was interrupted by the sound of knocking on the front door, pulling her out of her thoughts. Rolling her eyes, Ally slipped a cardigan over her shoulders. They had a doorbell. For some reason though, most chose to ignore it. Skipping down the downstairs, Ally grabbed her keys and her purse and rushed to the front door. Pulling the door open, she saw her father standing on the front steps mirroring that of a teenage boy patiently waiting to take his girlfriend out.
"Ready to go?" Lester asked his daughter who only smiled and nodded in response before following him to the same car he drove while she was still a child.
At the restaurant, Ally looked around. While it wasn't a black tie sort of place, the patrons did dress to look nice. Reservations were a must. Her father had said they would meet her mother at the restaurant and Ally found herself eagerly waiting to see her mother. She could tell her mother everything that she needed off her chest and her mother understood and didn't judge. She was yanked back to the present by her father give the name Dawson when he was asked if they had reservations. Feeling eyes on her, Ally looked up to see the maître d staring at her.
"Yes," she replied with a pleasant smile all while inwardly rolling her eyes. "I'm Ally Moon."
The maître d nodded, but didn't say anything, forgetting that being unprofessional could be considered as rude. Ally smiled politely to him and he quickly led them to their table where Penny Dawson was already seated. The maître d was kind and efficient at his job and by the way he kept glancing at her without reason, Ally knew that he was a fan. He was just too enamored by her presence and too shy to say.
"Hi Mom," Ally smiled in greeting as her mother stood to give her a big and welcoming hug.
"How are you?" Penny Dawson asked her daughter in reply.
It wasn't the cliché "how are you" question people ask just to be polite even though they don't really care how you really are doing. Penny's question was sincere and went so much deeper than just asking about Ally's physical wellbeing. Immediately Ally knew that unlike her father, her mother had seen and read the rag magazines and wanted to know that Ally was okay. The simple question of "how are you" was also a way of asking how things were between her and Austin.
Sighing, Ally took a seat at the round table between her mother and her father. That was a good question to ask. It was a question that had Ally stumped as she searched for an answer. She didn't know how things were between her and Austin right now. She just knew things were strained. For all she knew, Austin could be thinking about going back on his promise to sit down and talk when he got home and file for divorce instead. It wouldn't surprise her. If all they could do was fight over the phone, what made them think they could avoid fighting while being face to face? Shaking her head, she told her mother that she didn't know and that she wanted to focus on reading the menu.
Penny understood and didn't push her daughter to say anything, knowing full well that Ally would tell her all when she wanted to.
After ordering and waiting for their food, Lester divulged to Ally about business picking up at Sonic Boom and his desire to hire an employee. Rolling her eyes, Ally knew he was trying to guilt trip her into coming back to work for him. Declining the offer by a simple shake of her head, Ally turned to her attention to her mother who was thinking about writing another book.
However when the food arrived to their table, and they began to eat the delectable meal, conversation seized for a few minutes before it was directed back at Ally. Placing her fork onto the plate, Ally sighed as she looked at her father and then to her mother. She hadn't of been completely honest with her father and for that she felt terrible. Yet, she was afraid to tell them anything, not wanting their pity for her waning marriage. Still, she looked down at the plate of food as if it captivated her attention like an illusionist might as she stalled to answer.
"I think Austin might be filing for divorce," she stated, finding herself unable to stall any longer from answering.
Lester wanted to know why the boy would do a crazy thing like that and Ally didn't blame him. Austin had always been the son he never had.
Penny was more sympathetic to Ally's plight, extending a comforting hand and a listening ear.
Ally wouldn't blame Austin if he filed for divorce. It was after all his choice. While she hadn't cheated, she had wanted to and wasn't that just as bad as actually committing the crime? And if she really loved Austin, would she have wanted to cheat? Closing her eyes, Ally swallowed the foul tasting bile that made its way up. What if she saw Austin again and she realized that she no longer loved him? Then what would she do?
