*NOTE*

Iknowiknow. Missed AGAIN. Poor Sophie.

However, I have been kind, and written up a delicious, fulfilling, and needtoread little 'what if?'. Check my story lists. :}

Ugh. I'm really tired, so I don't know how well thought out this chapter will be.

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DISCLAIMER: ALL MAIN CHARACTERS BELOW TO DIANA WYNNE JONES, AUTHOR OF HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE. The fanfic is based upon the BOOK, NOT the movie.

Howl's Moving Castle: The Aftermath

Chapter 11: In Which Calcifer is.

Sophie sat on the edge of her bed, gazing distractedly at the fireplace in front of her. Howl had just set her down on the terrace, smiling with a surprisingly sleepy face. He left a lingering kiss right where her neck met her jaw line, and looked at her for a while. And all that time, she thought to herself, should I let him in? No one's home. Let him in? Yes? No?

But then he disappeared. To reason, indecision never helped anyone, but Sophie didn't know whether she was ready for that, and although her body was saying yes, her mind was saying not yet.

Twining her hands in her hair, she braided it, before winding it around her head in a knot with a sigh. She'd already slipped into her lightest cotton nightie, and she was too tired to tuck herself in, and just laid down at the bottom of her bed. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and could see the faint outlines of her vanity, chairs, and other various bedroom implements. Her eyes drifted closed slowly, and she mistook the flicker in the hearth before her as a figment of her mind as it drifted into subconsciousness.

However, it grew stronger and stronger, until a full fledged fire emerged in her fireplace. Fully awake now, Sophie sat up in her bed, and approached it cautiously. She didn't have anything to protect her, not even her old walking stick, so she edged to the side, keeping her eyes on it.

"Sophie?"

Two eyes rolled up out of the fire, and she sighed exasperatedly.

"Calcifer, you nearly frightened me half to death."

"I'm sorry."

He looked tired, and didn't shine as brightly as she usually saw him. Placing a log on the fire politely, she settled down in front of him.

"What do you need, Calcifer? I didn't know I was honored enough for house calls…"

"Sophie, I need your help."

"Sure, how can I be of assistance?"

"I'm dying," he said with a sigh.

She recoiled in surprise at the bluntness of the statement, shocked. Didn't demons live forever?

"Dying? How? What's wrong?"

He stayed silent for a while, and Sophie waited patiently, half-heartedly glaring.

"I…I've been trying to make myself a body."

"A body! But…that's of the blackest magic Calcifer," she exclaimed.

Somehow he managed a shrug. "Good and evil do not matter to demons. Only contracts."

"But Calcifer…!"

"Sophie, please listen to me."

She scowled, but shut her mouth, swallowing her retorts for later.

"I talked to Mrs. Fairfax first. She was aware of the complications, but tried to make a Gollum form close to a human. It didn't work. It crumbled as soon as I touched it; my demonic forces disintegrated the power lines that made it stay together. I needed stronger material, things that would last, but they are rare, forbidden, or nonexistent in our time. Mrs. Fairfax bid me farewell with warning when she could no longer help, but that was not of concern to me.

"I took matters upon myself, and traveled to the fireplaces of unruly warlocks, bribing and beseeching. Some helped, some didn't. I had animals killed then, with those who agreed, trying to use the bodies as a stronger foundation; their blood and souls would create a more stable anomaly. It worked shortly, but they too failed, and the mutilations that had to be done to them revolted many after a time. The form they made was also gruesome. I nearly gave up, till rumors that came to me in my research; that of demons fully possessing the body and soul of humans. Don't worry Sophie, I've not come to that. I followed those rumors though, and they led me to a very powerful man. He would help me find a body, one of someone undeserving, one willing, or one near death. One that would put barely a feather on the collective human conscience. However, he demanded a contract. A small one, but one that tethered me to him, and is now draining me of my life force.

"He is, in all appearances, a gentleman. But he holds his vendettas close. He required my help in achieving a means to an end in one of them, help I gave after long debate. Know that it wasn't easy for me Sophie, know that. And know that I cannot stand being so debilitated, when I have so much power; the motivation behind my search. But I haven't been keeping up my end of the bargain, it's been surprisingly painful. And so he leeches at my life source. And I am dying. And only you can help me, Sophie."

Sophie stared at her old friend, aghast, and momentarily speechless with the sudden revelation. So this was why he was never in the castle.

In a world with black and white lines, evil and good, the rules of the youngest, and the eldest, Calcifer stood in the grey. She could not call him good, but neither could she call him evil. Such was not the nature of demons. And she had never, ever heard him so serious.

It still did not make her feel any better. Nonetheless, Calcifer was a friend, and Sophie loathed disposing of friendships when things looked complicated.

"How could I help?"

Calcifer looked sadly at her, and continued.

"Do you remember the myriad flowers you received? And the invitation? I need you to accept them, fully, wholly, and I need you to forget Howl."

"What?" Sophie stared at him incredulously. He wanted her to be with Edward Atkin? The kind, courteous admirer that she definitely did not want to be with? What did he have to do with this, she just barely met him.

And then it hit her. Edward Atkin was well dressed, well mannered, and refined. Those of his stature would not deign to eat in such a common place; he must've had ulterior motives. He was the 'powerful man', the one who made the contract with Calcifer. But what did Sophie have to do with it?

"But…why me?" Her voice came out quieter than she expected it to, and Calcifer seemed to shrink back behind his log.

"Apparently he has a vendetta against Howl, and he wants Howl to suffer as he did. His reach extends far. Why do you think the Witch of the Waste just decided to visit your shop, and then curse the bejeezus out of you? He didn't rant far, but I got an idea."

"Calcifer. Do you really think I could bring myself to make Howl suffer?"

He stared pointedly at her.

"Sophie, if I die, Howl will never be the same. We held our contract for a very long time, and even though it has been dissolved, we are still connected to each other. He will suffer either way, and if you help, his suffering will be the lesser of the two. Do not think I take pleasure out of this."

"But Calcifer, you're only doing this for yourself!"

He gave her a tired, aged look. "Do not mock me. I realize my mistakes."

"Why didn't you just tell Howl?"

"My contract forbids me."

Sophie sighed, exasperated, and close to tears. It was a very long time before she spoke again.

"What do I have to do."

"Accept his marriage proposal; that's as far as my side of the contract goes."

She nodded silently.

"I'm sorry, Sophie."

"Please, just leave." Her voice was choked as she held in her tears.

Calcifer apologized softly again, before flickering away, the darkness returning to her room.

Stumbling to her feet, she went over to her vanity, where she immediately spotted the invitation sitting innocently against her mirror. Casting it to the floor with the wave of her hand, she shakily grabbed a piece of paper, and scribbled on it furiously. Many hours later, with stained hands, and cheeks, she neatly wrote out her finished composition, folded it, and sealed it.

The mansion was quiet as she padded down the stairs, through the foray, and out the front doors. It was not even four in the morning. The way to his castle was painful, and everything seemed to jeer at her, the beautiful star speckled sky, the rustling of the trees as they slept, and the subdued chirruping of night time creatures.

The door swung open as she touched the handle, and she pointedly ignored the abashed flame that flickered in the hearth. Avoiding the creaky parts of the stairs, she made her way up, slowly, painfully. Too soon, his door loomed in front of her. Suppressing an instinct to flee, she turned the knob and pushed the door open, wincing as the rusting hinges squeaked.

She nearly burst into tears again, as she saw him sprawled in innocent slumber, looking far younger than his age dictated. His windows glowed a soft, opalescent grey, and random images of the carnival, of Sophie ran in and out of the peaceful cloud. Tiptoeing to the side of the bed, she laid her letter on the empty pillow near his head. Brushing back the hair from his face, she pressed a kiss to his forehead, her eyes closed shut as she held her sorrow at bay.

"Goodbye Howl," she whispered above his lips, before lightly brushing them. And then, before she would break, she tiptoed out of the room, down the stairs, out of the castle. As soon as she was a distance far enough for her to not be heard, she broke into a run, bursting through the mansion doors, past surprised servants who had just woken to start their daily chores, and up the stairs, her lungs nearly bursting. She nearly made it to the top of the stairs when she collapsed, sobs wracking her small frame, her sorrow echoing through the halls. The words she wrote echoed through her mind, torturing her.

Dear Howl

She beat her hand into the cold marble.

I cannot lie to myself anymore, nor to you.

I can't have you in my life any longer.

The pain tore at her insides, and she cringed, keening.

I cannot explain my feelings, there is no way.

I need you to leave me, forever.

The words echoed in her mind, the lies burning her. She longed to run back to the castle, and rip that letter to shreds, but she couldn't. No, she couldn't.

At last her tears seemed to dry, but she couldn't prevent the occasional dry sob that fell from her sore throat, rasping out.

Her fingers curled against the rounded step, and she felt herself retreat into blissful numbness, and for a while, all was gone, and her wide eyes saw nothing.

I need you to leave me.

Forever.

*Note*

SOYES. If you're feeling like O: wtfinfinf, then please feel free to go to my profile and read my smut story.

It should really cheer you up.

D:{ DO IT. FEAR THE UNIBROW.