Adam flopped onto his bed and opened his journal, he was never the type to read the things he had long since written, it seemed pointless to brood on things that were in the past. Still that day something was calling to him from the pages, so he began to go through it.
It started with the first day of freshmen year and covered the entire time he'd been at Eden Hall until that day. There were sad entries, some smudged from tears that he could remember shedding the day he'd written, like when Hans died, then there were happy things, like when he made MVP and got to play in the All Star game. But of all the entries, one stood out above the rest in his mind.
'Dec 10th,
I finally got up the courage to ask Caroline out to dinner. We were sitting on the benches outside, near the music building talking, and watching the snow fall around us. Funny thing is, I don't think either of noticed the cold. I never notice anything when she's around, just her. She's all I ever think about.
You know, if I hadn't been chasing Luis that day and never knocked Carly over, I don't think I ever would've gotten the nerve up to talk to her. Which is unbelievable when you think of how easy going she is. I could tell her I hated her and her mother smelled and she'd let roll off her back.
Anyway, while we were watching the snow, a flake fell on her cheek and stayed there. It didn't melt, didn't slide off, it just stayed there. I took the back of my right hand and brushed it away. I was staring right into her dark eyes and it just popped out. "Will you go out with me tomorrow night?"
She smiled and said "Of course I will." Just like that, no hesitation.
I'm telling you journal, I'm so glad I got to know her over these past three months. I don't know what my life would be like without her.'
Banks closed the journal and rolled over onto his back, now he knew what life was like without her, but it wasn't much of a life at all. But then, there wasn't really any hope for a life or future if he had stayed with her. He was just too young to be a daddy, too young and too full of dreams.
'Dec 11th
I just got back from my date with Carly. It wasn't at all like I thought it was going to be. I emptied my bank account to have the money to take her out. I got reservations at the Minnesota Club, thinking a well off girl like her would prefer lobster and prime rib over cheese burgers and hot dogs. She didn't.
I got her room to pick her up and she was dressed jeans and an off white cashmere sweater and her hair was pulled back in a scrunchi. She had no jewelry on with the exception of a pair of garnet studs in her ears and a friendship bracelet she got from someone back in Boston. It was a little to casual for what I had in mind, but I didn't want to make her feel like she looked bad, especially if she was one of those girls that took four hours to pick out an outfit.
So I helped her on with her coat and we went out to meet the taxi. I had thought that taking a cab would be more to her liking then riding the bus, but again I screwed up.
Before we went to dinner, I had the taxi bring us to the Museum, I thought a little culture would be a nice sophisticated way to start the night. Wrong answer, Carly looked like she was going to fall asleep while we walked around the exhibits. So I led her back outside and hailed another cab.
Caroline didn't seem to be having a good time at all and by the time we were seated in the restaurant I was certain I'd made a mistake asking her out.
"You're not having a good time are you?"
She bit her lip and sighed "Not really, I'm kinda bored."
I nodded thinking 'Great, I blew it.'
However Carly just smiled and said "I know ritzy kids like us are suppose to like this sorta thing, but I don't. Give me a pizza and a bottle of soda and I'm fine. You're not actually into this snotty shit are you Adam?"
Yeah she swore, in a fancy restaurant. Normally that would've been a complete turn off, but then I loved it. It proved that she was a real girl, not just another one of those Eden Hall debutants. It was great, a girl that would fit in fantastically with my friends, yet well bred so my parents would like her, and I was positive I loved her. Things couldn't have worked out better.
"No, honestly I just did this whole thing because I thought that's what you wanted." I replied
"Good, then let's think. If you were one of your friends from the hockey team, not the son of a wealthy couple, where would we be going?"
"Mickey's, that's where Charlie's mom works, they've got the best cheese fries."
"Let's go then." She hopped out of her chair, pulled me out of my seat and we were out of there before we even got the chance to look at menus.
The next thing I know we're sitting in a booth at the diner eating food covered in layers of grease and laughing like idiots. I'll tell you journal, I think I've found the girl I want to marry one day.'
A tear trickled the length of his cheek as he shut the book with a slam. What had happened to the boy that had written that three years ago? What had happened to the spark that use to between he and the that girl? Mostly what had happened to the mutual adoration they so obviously shared for each other?
At the time he'd written those entries, he never could've pictured Carly taking an invitation to spend time with Griffon. Or he himself agreeing to go with anyone, especially her sister to a dance. But if she was going to move on, to give up, then so would he. Sometimes love just isn't worth the pain.
It started with the first day of freshmen year and covered the entire time he'd been at Eden Hall until that day. There were sad entries, some smudged from tears that he could remember shedding the day he'd written, like when Hans died, then there were happy things, like when he made MVP and got to play in the All Star game. But of all the entries, one stood out above the rest in his mind.
'Dec 10th,
I finally got up the courage to ask Caroline out to dinner. We were sitting on the benches outside, near the music building talking, and watching the snow fall around us. Funny thing is, I don't think either of noticed the cold. I never notice anything when she's around, just her. She's all I ever think about.
You know, if I hadn't been chasing Luis that day and never knocked Carly over, I don't think I ever would've gotten the nerve up to talk to her. Which is unbelievable when you think of how easy going she is. I could tell her I hated her and her mother smelled and she'd let roll off her back.
Anyway, while we were watching the snow, a flake fell on her cheek and stayed there. It didn't melt, didn't slide off, it just stayed there. I took the back of my right hand and brushed it away. I was staring right into her dark eyes and it just popped out. "Will you go out with me tomorrow night?"
She smiled and said "Of course I will." Just like that, no hesitation.
I'm telling you journal, I'm so glad I got to know her over these past three months. I don't know what my life would be like without her.'
Banks closed the journal and rolled over onto his back, now he knew what life was like without her, but it wasn't much of a life at all. But then, there wasn't really any hope for a life or future if he had stayed with her. He was just too young to be a daddy, too young and too full of dreams.
'Dec 11th
I just got back from my date with Carly. It wasn't at all like I thought it was going to be. I emptied my bank account to have the money to take her out. I got reservations at the Minnesota Club, thinking a well off girl like her would prefer lobster and prime rib over cheese burgers and hot dogs. She didn't.
I got her room to pick her up and she was dressed jeans and an off white cashmere sweater and her hair was pulled back in a scrunchi. She had no jewelry on with the exception of a pair of garnet studs in her ears and a friendship bracelet she got from someone back in Boston. It was a little to casual for what I had in mind, but I didn't want to make her feel like she looked bad, especially if she was one of those girls that took four hours to pick out an outfit.
So I helped her on with her coat and we went out to meet the taxi. I had thought that taking a cab would be more to her liking then riding the bus, but again I screwed up.
Before we went to dinner, I had the taxi bring us to the Museum, I thought a little culture would be a nice sophisticated way to start the night. Wrong answer, Carly looked like she was going to fall asleep while we walked around the exhibits. So I led her back outside and hailed another cab.
Caroline didn't seem to be having a good time at all and by the time we were seated in the restaurant I was certain I'd made a mistake asking her out.
"You're not having a good time are you?"
She bit her lip and sighed "Not really, I'm kinda bored."
I nodded thinking 'Great, I blew it.'
However Carly just smiled and said "I know ritzy kids like us are suppose to like this sorta thing, but I don't. Give me a pizza and a bottle of soda and I'm fine. You're not actually into this snotty shit are you Adam?"
Yeah she swore, in a fancy restaurant. Normally that would've been a complete turn off, but then I loved it. It proved that she was a real girl, not just another one of those Eden Hall debutants. It was great, a girl that would fit in fantastically with my friends, yet well bred so my parents would like her, and I was positive I loved her. Things couldn't have worked out better.
"No, honestly I just did this whole thing because I thought that's what you wanted." I replied
"Good, then let's think. If you were one of your friends from the hockey team, not the son of a wealthy couple, where would we be going?"
"Mickey's, that's where Charlie's mom works, they've got the best cheese fries."
"Let's go then." She hopped out of her chair, pulled me out of my seat and we were out of there before we even got the chance to look at menus.
The next thing I know we're sitting in a booth at the diner eating food covered in layers of grease and laughing like idiots. I'll tell you journal, I think I've found the girl I want to marry one day.'
A tear trickled the length of his cheek as he shut the book with a slam. What had happened to the boy that had written that three years ago? What had happened to the spark that use to between he and the that girl? Mostly what had happened to the mutual adoration they so obviously shared for each other?
At the time he'd written those entries, he never could've pictured Carly taking an invitation to spend time with Griffon. Or he himself agreeing to go with anyone, especially her sister to a dance. But if she was going to move on, to give up, then so would he. Sometimes love just isn't worth the pain.
