Btr released Worldwide. =] Sadly I thought it was ok. But I love the song

1) James F-in (sorry for language) cut Carlos off. Like WTF man. This is my favorite line of Carlos. MAJOR REASON why I thought it was ok.

2) But the guys are hot. And I love Kendall jacket and Carlos' hoodie.

3) Sorry Tall Blond and Eyebrows =[, but I thought Jo had a couple of hot head shots… You can shoot me if you want =[. I think she is hot when she gets kicked off the show… weird. BUT! Who wear skinny jeans on the airplane? Airplanes are making more leg room and skinny are destroying that. -.- weird girl!

4) It did remind me of backstreet boys =] and the 1990's. Airport music video and extreme emphasis on hand motion, yep that is my childhood lol.


Sorry this took so long. I had a lot of blocks (Kamett, Kames, work and stuff) but I hope you enjoy this even though this isn't my best chapter =[. Sorry for errors and transition problem. I might be paranoid but this is my worst chapter =[.


BTW the note in this chapter is suppose to have cross out lines and different fonts but fanfiction doesn't accept it =[. Anything in {} is supposeto be crossed out

Chapter 11 – Illogical Carlos

Click. Logan opens the door to his single suite. Normally, students dorm in a double or triple suite but being a intern under a worldwide known professor, Dr. Grant, Logan is upgraded to the highest dorming experience. He looks around the five-room, if you include a closet fit for a shopaholic, suite. The kitchen is pristinely clean. The bathroom is huge. The living room is polished and refine, suitable for an elite school in an elite city.

And the last room is the bedroom. It houses a desk large enough for two desktops and a laptop. The walls are lined with shelves big enough to store all of his textbooks and research notes, perfect for a person whose using one luggage solely for books. But the one thing about the room Logan hates is the bed. The bed has six pillows, sheets made of pure white silk and is a queen size. Normally, this is Logan's dream bed but with one look, he feels it's missing something, something that only cheap cartoon sheets can fill.

Tired, He falls back on the bed accepting the comfort it should have brought but sadly, he is not impressed. Groggily, he gets up and walks to the closet and starts unpacking his stuff. It takes him a few hours to completely unpack all of his belonging but he would have finished faster if a single shirt does not catch his eye. It was the shirt he threw at Carlos when they fought. It is a light pink button up shirt, a staple in Carlos' wardrobe. He would wear it with a tie or something. Logan always smiles at Carlos' fashion choices.

Logan starts tearing remembering Carlos wearing the shirt on the date they first kissed. He holds the shirt to his nose trying to recall his scent but something sharp jabs him. He unfolds the shirt and finds an envelope on it saying "To Logie." He is about to open it until he notice a small notice stuck to the sealed back of the mail. He unfolds and reads the small note instead.

Dear Logie,

I know you said to never call you Logie, but I need to call you this one last time. I know I'm not your boyfriend anymore but you will always be mine. I'm so sorry for the sobfest this letter is but I have a point. Please read this before open the other letter.

I love you, always have and always will. I never meant to hurt you but I guess I did. But please know I'm sorry. Deeply, truly, madly, other stuff-"ly" sorry. I should have told you but Idk, I guess love makes me crazy. You make me crazy, {crazier then usual}. (wait, scratch that) Ignore that, I mean you idk, you make me do thing even I would never do.

Ok, I have a point, I'm not making it clear am I? I'm bad at dessertakion I think (?), papers and logan stuff. But I do have a point. I love you and support your decision to go to New York. You deserve it and if I want to be a better {boy I mean}, friend, I have to let you go. I love you. I hope this letter is good.

Love Carlos,

Sorry if this letter has bad writing typos, I mean hand-writeos or is not a good note.

P.S. Don't open the big letter just yet. Open it when you are most depress and in need of a hug. You don't need it yet so DON'T OPEN. Really, don't open it just yet.

P.P.S. I love you. And Enjoy a New York hot dog for me. I don't think they have corndog (?)

Logan read the letter over three times. He brushes his fingers over the wrinkle paper which he knows is caused by Carlos' tears. His tears flow onto the it before he hugs it tightly feeling the touch Carlos placed on it transfers to him.

Knock! Knock! The front door sounds surprising him. Logan jumps up and places the letter and the sealed envelope on the night stand. He rubs his eyes and dashes to open the door greeting the renowned professor.

"Dr. Grant, come in." He offers. "I'm sorry I don't have tea or coffee to offer just yet."

"No problem my boy. I'm just glad you came just in time. A day later and I have no chance of get a fine intern such as the great Hortence Mitchell." He says walking around the apartment before sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Actually sir, my name is Logan. I changed it." Logan says taking a seat across the professor.

"Logan Mitchell it is then." He squints an eye at Logan. "Have you been crying? You eyes are absolutely blood shot." He walks over and examines.

Of course with a couple of degrees and a medical degree, Logan doesn't want to lie to the doctor but telling the truth isn't something you tell you mentor. "I was homesick."

"Really?" He asks surprised. "One plane ride and you cry already. Don't worry. I know how to help." He walks to the closest with Logan quickly following. "I'll help you…" He starts says but notices most if not all the clothes are up. "Unpack."

"I finished awhile ago."

"Ok." The professor turns around and walks the bed. His eyes linger on the open note before turning to Logan. "This was my room."

"I'm sorry?"

"I used to live here for twelve years." He huffs and sits on the bed earning a cringe from Logan. He jumps up. "Oh sorry. I was exactly the same. I hate people that sit on my bed. Won't happen again."

"Thanks professor." Logan says remembering when Carlos first slept with him in the same bed and he didn't cringe.

"It's ok. Well I'll let you settle in the room I made so many memories in. I'll see you in a week." He says walking to the door

"Wait what?" Logan jumps after.

"Oh, I forgot. I'm going to a science panel discussion in Paris on my research. You should go to the lab and read my lab procedures and videos of the methods in my lab during the week. Converse with the other students too. Learn from them while I'm gone. Sorry for leaving so soon, but frankly I thought you would jump at the offer three weeks ago."

"Sorry, I have"

"Problems?" He finishes. He smiles and places a hand on Logan's shoulder. "I understand. I'll see you in a week" He leaves the apartment.

Logan walks back to the night stand and puts both letters in the drawer before falling into a deep sleep.

One Week Later

Feeling happy and successful, Logan walks down the hall to Dr. Grant's office. It has been a productive week of studying as Logan caught up to speed of the experiment and all the methods of the research. He even started reproducing the latest experiment, even though the other three interns were against it. He sharply turns the hall knowing where the office is and sees the professor in the hallway talking to someone.

Suddenly Logan turns back and jumps against the wall clutching his chest. What is he doing here? He thinks recalling the student the doctor is talking to is wearing a helmet. He falls to the floor now holding his head tightly closing his eyes.

"Logan?" He hears shooting his head to the speaker. "What are you doing on the floor?"

Logan jumps up looking at the professor. "Nothing, I was just thinking."

"Ok. Walk with me the lab." He commands with Logan following.

"Hey professor, who were you talking to?"

Dr. Grant cocks his head. "Um, no one. He is just a student who wants extra credit even though the school year ended."

"Ok." Logan says depressed.

At the lab, everything is going well. Logan shows the professor the data he completed thus far and Dr. Grant is please.

"Hey Logan, do you mind me asking a personal question? I do have a B.A in psychological development in adolescent psychology." He asks sense something is off with the intern.

"Sure I guess."

"Truthfully is something bothering you?" Logan puts down the pipet in his hand. "I mean, I have only seen you twice but frankly, you seem different from your emails and live chats."

"I guess life is different in New York." Logan chuckles, hiding his emotion.

"Or something is missing in New York." Logan faces Dr. Grant's stern face. "Look Logan I can read people pretty well. Matt, the other intern, I can tell you don't like him. My research, I can tell without a doubt you memorized everything. And most definitely, you are missing something here."

"Sorry professor, it's just… never mind." Logan tries but doesn't want to reveal his life.

"What if I said I lied?" Logan looks at the professor. "What if I said the boy I talked to was a strange boy named Carlos Gracias?" Logan's eyes widen. "And he asked to be my intern."

"What did you say?" Logan practically shouted dropping one of his samples, shattering the glass in the floor. "Dang it!" He screams.

"I said no." Logan sulks. "Well I can't accept a B- student. Beside he didn't bring a transcript or anything to critic. Basically he came with a helmet and that's it. He is one of the most illogical people I've ever met. Sorry Logan."

"No it's fine." He chuckles. "That sounds like Carlos."

"What a strange person you're friend with, but… you mind if I press one more question?" Logan nods his head while trying to find a pail and broom. "What is your dream?"

Logan stops and stares at the doctor as if Dr. Grant is stupid. "Isn't it obvious?" He asks sounding annoyed. "I mean I'm here at a top med school."

"I went here for med school. Heck I have so many degrees from here yet my dream is not to be a doctor." He says earning a strained look from his intern. "I love medicine and teaching but my dream is really to travel. I love going around the world and this job lets me travel." He chuckles. "I just went to Paris, all expenses paid for a week and I only presentation for two hours. I still had six days to myself."

So, you don't think my dream is to be a doctor." Logan questions.

"Nope, well I don't know. Dreams are complicated. You can dream all you want and still not be sure if that is your dream. I think you still need to find your true dream because you don't seem happy."

Logan sighs trying to think of something to say but nothing comes to mind.

"Hey Logan, I'll clean up the mess and you take the day off." He puts his hand on Logan's shoulder again. "You need to explore New York and the wonders it has. You will feel better." He winks and writes down a couple places to visit.

"Are you sure professor? You just got back and I need to"

"See New York for once." He finishes. "Go. Have fun."

"Thanks professor." Logan says leaving the lab.

In the city

"This is 8th Street – NYU." A strange female voice sounds over the loud speaker in the subway. It says some more information but Logan ignores and walks out and up the stairs. The city is a lot different from what he expected. The buildings are higher, the streets are more crowded, just everything was bigger. Already down one block and he walks into five people, all of a different ethnicity. New York is very different from LA and completely different from Minnesota.

Walking a couple more blocks and with the help of his iphone, he locates Washington Square Park, the first place the doctor recommended. He's stun at how magnificent the park is. The giant famous arch, the street vendors, the fountain, everything was beautiful. He walks around absorbing in the beauty that is New York. The day is just breath taking as he notices a group of students in purple gown with octagonal caps graduating. Recognizing the school color and clothing design, it is the annual NYU graduation ceremony for the doctors. He smiles knowing one day soon that will be him in a Colombia doctoral robe too.

He stops at the fountain and looks into the clear, clean New York filtered water. He reaches into his pocket and fishes out a quarter, remembering that Washington Square Park fountain is lucky as it harbors the brilliant minds of NYU students, and presses it to his lips. He blocks out all the surrounding noises from the joggers, street performers, and running kids.

"I wish my dream comes true."Logan whispers but shakes his head thinking it is too cliché and general. I wish he is here with me. He smiles and just as he is about to flip the coin making the beautiful ripples he's thinking of, someone in a gown pushes him into the fountain.

Logan screams just as the cool water soaks his clothes and floods his nose. He coughs uncontrollably as he hears a group of male voices laughing.

"YAY! Last thing we do as NYU student!" One of them shouts high fiving each other. Future brains of the country. Logan thinks sarcastically. He rubs his eyes of the sting of the water.

"Hey, are you ok?" A voice calls. Logan stops rubbing. An ear twitches at hearing the familiar voice. "Logan?"

Logan drops his arms and stares, widen eyes, at Carlos reaching a hand towards him. The sun is slightly in his eye as half of Carlos' head block most of the ray. This reminds him of the day Carlos invited him to swim. "Logan, are you ok? There are other ways to stay cool in New York." He laughs. "Well, are you going to stay in the fountain all day?" He smiles that adorable smile Logan remembers.

Logan reaches his hand out and Carlos pulls him out of the water. He smiles at Carlos before pulling the boy into a hug, getting him all wet. "Are you really here, Carlos?" Logan asks, not understanding how his wish came true.

"Hehehe." Carlos giggles awkwardly. "Logan, you're wet."

Obviously, you just pulled me out of a fountain. Logan chuckles and breathes deeply reassuring himself that this is Carlos. "Typical Carlos."

"I don't get it." Carlos raises a brow.

"Don't worry Carlos. You want to sit down over there on the benches?" Logan points to the stone blocks near the arch.

"Sure Logan, I got to dry off now."

Carlos sits down first on the block as Logan got them some ice cream cones from a nearby ice cream truck.

"Thanks Logan!" Carlos shouts snatching the melting frozen treat.

"No problem Carlos." They eat the treat in silence. Logan would lick the cone around making sure the waffle never has a line of ice cream melting down. Whereas Carlos, he is a different story. He squashes his lips onto the top of the cone causing the ice cream to flow down the waffle and on to his hand. Then he would move his head side to side letting his lips and the skin around get cover in the white, sticky liquid.

Before licking the treat off his mouth he looks at Logan and smiles. "Look, I am the prettiest Geisha in all of New York." He bats his eyes.

Logan bursts into laughter dropping his cone and holding his stomach. "Carlos, Geisha has white skin and red lips."

"I know that." Carlos says smiling at Logan. "I just thought you needed a laugh."

Logan stops laughs and smiles at Carlos. He stares into his eye before leaning in. Carlos follows in.

Then something clicks. "Umm, I drop my cone." Logan states pulling back blushingly before anything happens. "Here you need a napkin." Logan clumsily hands him a napkin.

"I don't need." Carlos says licking his face with his tongue. "But thanks Logan."

Logan chuckles before looking at the fallen cone. "So how's LA?"

"LA is great." He lies. "Everyone is happy and fun-ing around. I don't read books so I have time to do everything I love to do." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Ok Carlos. So what is really going on?" Logan asks again.

Carlos sighs. "A lot people miss you. Everything is broken once you left. James and Kendall don't seem to get alone anymore, I don't know why, don't ask me. And when they talk together, even I can tell something is wrong. And a lot of thing happened between them when you're gone, don't ask. Katie, she misses her stock market advisor. Mrs. Knight doesn't talk much. I guess she likes talking to you about grown up and smarty stuff." He takes a deep breath from his long monologue.

"What about you?"

Carlos' face drops looking at his lap. "I'm lost. I do the same stuff everyday but something is missing. I swim in the pool but when I look around I don't see a boy studying a textbook that weighs more than he does. I jump on the bonfire bench but no one is there to catch my fall. I sleep in my bed but no one is there to say good night to."

He pauses twiddling his fingers. "I guess I miss you the most."

Suddenly Logan lays his head on Carlos' lap covering his hands. "My apartment is great. My bed is huge. It's the size of your bed and my bed combined. And the sheets are silk. SILK, Carlos."

"I guess New York is great."

"No. Well New York is great but I don't know." Logan pauses brushing his face on Carlos now dried shirt. "I miss the dinosaur sheet I sleep on every night. I found a pair in Bed Bath and Beyond but I threw them out."

"WHAT!" Carlos screams.

"They don't feel the same."

"They are dinosaur sheet. They are the same."

"Nope." Logan shakes his head. "When I sleep on them, I don't feel you sleeping next to me." He pauses. "I miss you too, Carlos."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I'm scare if I call you, I'll break down and cry. Why didn't you?"

"Same. I just really miss you, Logan."

Logan sits up and faces Carlos. "Can you call me Logie again?"

"Why? Only your boyfriend calls you that." He smiles.

"Well if you go exploring the big city with me, I'll make an exception for my best friend."

"Sure Logie. I love to." Carlos smiles back making all the warm feelings rush back to him. "It's a date."

12:00 A.M. In Logan's suite

"Wow New York is the best city in the world!" Carlos shouts throwing his arms in the air after taking a shower. "If I can make it there, I'll make it" Clap! Clap! "Anywhere" Carlos sings walking around the bedroom.

"I'm going to shower Carlos ok?" Logan shouts walking in the bathroom.

"Ok Logie." He replies observing the suite. It's the most beautiful place ever. It's better than all the hotels we stayed at. Carlos thinks checking the bedroom. He walks to the nightstand and opens the drawer wondering what Logie would buy to fill the spacious room. But instead of 5-hour energy drinks and books, he finds his note and the envelope sealed. He reads his note laughing at the poor writing and penmanship. Then he brush his finger over the back of envelope smiling that Logan is not depress to the point where he needs to open the letter.

"Hey Carlos!" Logan yells behind the bathroom door shocking Carlos. He throws the papers back in the drawer and jumps on the bed. "When are you leaving New
York?" Logan asks.

"Umm." Carlos thinks folding his arm behind the pillow under his head. He is about to answer until he felt something hidden under the pillow. He sits up and removes the pillow and is surprise at what he finds. It is his pink button up shirt. He holds back his tears thinking that everyday Logan sleeps with his shirt.

Click! He hears a door open. He jumps to the other side of the bed and puts the pillow back in the same position.

"Hey Carlos. When are you leaving?" He repeats.

"Umm. Tomorrow, well at 8 AM."

"Oh, that's early. Can't you stay for a few days?" Logan asks changing into his PJ.

"Sorry Logan. I brought only enough clothes for one day." Carlos frowns crossing his arms behinds his head.

"Good thing you're sleeping on that side." Logan observes. "I sleep on the right side next to the night stand." He says turning off the light and get under the blanket.

Carlos smiles knowing why Logan prefers that side. He wraps his arms around Logan. "I miss these nights where I can wrap my arms around you."

Logan folds his hands on Carlos'. "I miss them too. But hey Carlos why did you only bring one set of clothes."

"Lighter travel and I wanted to see what is so great about New York."

"Did seeing New York involve my professor?"

Carlos tries to pull back his hands but Logan keeps them in place. "So he told you."

"No, I saw you talking to him, asking him if he can accept you as a student. What if he said yes? You would need more clothes."

Carlos chuckles. "You really think he would say yes to me?"

"Well, I thought if he said yes, and know you would think positive, you would bring your whole wardrobe."

He laughs again. "I guess I knew he would say no, but had to hear him in person."

"But why did you try if you know it is a no." Logan asks closing his eyes.

"I guess I was following my dream." He whispers softly.

"Your dream is to be a doctor?"

"Really Logie?" He breathes on Logan's ear making him blush. "You think my dream is to be a doctor?"

"It's kind of stupid to waste 400 dollar for a one day trip to New York. Why did you meet him?"

"I miss this." He hugs Logan tighter. "I miss the nights where I hold you in my arms and sing you to sleep. I miss watching your eyes close and lips curve in a smile. I just miss you, Logie."

"I miss you too Carlos but." Logan cringes knowing the connotations that follow the dangerous "but." "But I need to stay here and become a doctor."

"Logie, I'm not here to stop your dream. I came here for my dream, to be with you."

"Your dream only lasts a day."

"Nope." Carlos shakes his head and kisses Logan's neck. "I dream the same dream every single day. I see you every time my eyes close."

"Thanks Carlos. Hey we should sleep." He says looking at the clock.

"Ok Logie."

"Hey Carlos?"

"Yea?" He yawns.

"I should have never broken up with you. But I can't be in New York with you out there. And I and dreams and …"

"It's ok Logie. I understand why you did it. Let's just enjoy this last night?" Carlos cuddles him closer.

"Ok. Good night." Logan whispers weakly.

I still love you.


AN: I wanted to end it with All I really want to be is your boyfriend but I found that cliché lol.

Please review and tell me what you tell about it and the music video.

*I normal update after finish the next chapter but I didn't write it yet so... sorry for another long wait.