She never liked plane landings. Or, at least, she was pretty sure she never did. She couldn't recall ever really being on a plane but it seemed like a perfectly logical thing for people not to like, and the current landing was definitely unpleasant. Humans weren't really meant to fly, she felt. She double checked her seat belt, making sure it was secure, and she double checked the tray in front of her to make sure it would stay in its upright position. The plane jumped and her hands gripped the edges of the armrests, their corners cutting into her palms, but she didn't let up. She closed her eyes and started to count. She didn't open them until she heard the kindly, older gentleman next to her unbuckling his seatbelt.
"All's well, dear," he said in a thick Welsh accent. She'd never been to Wales, or any of Great Britain for that matter, so she didn't know how she knew it was Welsh- or more specifically Southern Welsh- but she did, and for some reason it was comforting to hear. She opened her eyes and gave him an appreciative smile. She loved smiles, hopefully he did, too.
Hand luggage in tow, she left the terminal; walking right past the baggage claim and towards the front doors. Walking through the busy airport, she held her head high and kept her shoulders back, as if she knew exactly where she was going. Maybe, if she pretended to know what she was doing, she could trick herself into actually knowing. She tried to focus, to think only brave thoughts and not allow her fears to overtake her but the noise around her was not making it easy. There were people yelling and laughing, luggage clicking along on the floor, garbled announcements coming through speakers in all directions, children crying - she was all but running, and she hadn't even realized it.
As she dashed through the doors to the taxis out front, her head cleared, the fresh air blowing away all other distractions, leaving only the thoughts of her husband. She missed him, more than she ever had before, more than she probably ever would. She knew why he didn't understand, why he couldn't understand - after all, she didn't quite understand it herself, but something inside of her was tearing itself apart and she had to at least try to fix it. Tears stung her eyes as she found herself wishing he could have just trusted her, trusted that she wasn't crazy, and came with her. Instead she'd snuck away in the night, worried that he might soon try to hospitalize her.
She wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath as she neared the end of the sidewalk; she couldn't fall apart now. A few taxis passed her up before one eventually stopped, its tall and gruff driver stepping out to help her with any presumed luggage.
"Where are your bags?" he asked, a hand on the boot of the car. She held up the small bag in her hand.
"Just the one."
The man shrugged and the two of them got into the car.
"Where to?" he asked, pulling away from the curb.
She froze. Her throat went dry and her heart felt like it stopped beating. She blinked away the tears brimming in her eyes and swallowed.
"Lady, where to?"
She caught his eyes in the rearview mirror, saw his confusion and annoyance. She moistened her lips, preparing to speak.
"Um… I'm sorry, um." She took a deep breath. "K-King's Cross Station." She stuttered at first, but the last two words fell out of her mouth in a mixed up hurry. She didn't know why that destination came to mind, but as soon as the words left her lips she felt as though it were the right answer. "King's Cross Station," she repeated, this time more sure of herself.
The car came to a stop at a light and the driver turned in his seat. "In this traffic? That's nearly four hours from here."
Her hands went into the front pocket of her bag and she pulled out a handful of colorful bills, bills that she might as well have stolen from her own bank account. "That's okay," she said, shoving the money into his hands. He took a moment to at least feign an incredulous look at her before turning back around and waiting quietly at the light.
"It's okay." She mumbled, this time to herself, her hand resting over her heart. "It's okay."
