I know I've been away for longer than is acceptable but Life is a bitch. And I had shit to do. I'm sure you don't want to hear all about said shit so I will spare you the gory details. Lucky you.
Also, for those of you that might notice, the original chapter 11 was taken down due to the fact that it sucked and I didn't like how Bella sounded over all. So down it went.
Thanks so much for all the love guys. Every word and alert means a lot. And they defiantly motivated me to start updating again so I thank you.
Some very subtle Bellice in this chapter. It's pretty much "blink and you might miss it!" But thankfully that should change here pretty soon.
I'm not too thrilled with how the entirety of this chapter turned out but you all have been waiting for so long for an update, I figured to hell with it. Its been awhile since I've written for this story so I hope you bare with me as I get back into the swing of things. So, without further ado..
Enjoy!
I'm bored.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now that I actually have time all by my lonesome.
And that is just...sad. So very sad.
I sigh. It's been awhile since I've ever had time for myself, over three years in fact. I forgot what it was like having nothing to do or responsibilities to worry about.
I was in desperate need of some form of entertainment. I've already read through the few comics Emmett had loaned me last week. Though I wonder if it's still a loan if we're barely on speaking terms. I don't plan on handing them back any time soon. Not if it means talking with him directly.
I sighed, palming my face in frustration. Being pissed at someone was draining. I knew this all too well. But being pissed at someone you didn't want to be pissed at was nothing short of exhausting.
I mean, they had helped me yesterday. They definitely didn't have to. But they did...
I grunted as I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. Ugh. And now my headache is back. It usually starts with the eyes and is followed by the pounding.
Welp, I better think of something before I waste all my time trying to think of things to do. I shake my head and decide to get up finally.
I walked over to where my phone was charging before I got dressed and check the screen. There were a few messages actually. Two from Charlie asking if I was okay and if I needed anything and seven from my mom wondering why I hadn't bothered to call her and if I even remembered her number anymore.
That forced me to roll my eyes.
And the last one surprised me.
- ALICE -
Huh. Wasn't expecting that one.
Well, she did ask if she could text me yesterday. And look, she did. My finger hovered over the name, stalling. Huffing at myself I shrug off my weird hesitancy and press down on the screen.
Good morning. -Alice
That's it. A simple greeting. No flashy emoticons. No not-so-subtle segues into how I was feeling or investigations into what had really happened yesterday.
I don't reply.
Instead, I answer Charlie and reassure my mother that she was not forgotten and that I would call her today.
My phone blew up with happy emoticons a minute later.
I rolled my eyes. Only my mother.
So per the Doc's orders I have done nothing but stay in bed. I probably looked dead with my left arm dangling over the side as I laid on my stomach, barely breathing and not caring in the least. I haven't slept that good in...well not for a while. Charlie had agreed to take Mia to daycare and pick her up when I would do so normally. I assured him at dinner when he had offered that he didn't have to do that. She could just stay with me all day but he thought it would do me some good to have some worry free sleep. I didn't even have to wake her up and get her ready since I had set out her clothes for the day and her berets. Usually her hair is up in a cute curly ponytail or piggy tails or maybe braided but since Charlie was a dude and his version of grooming was trimming a well tended mustache, I figured I'd cut him some slack with her hair and gave him simple written instructions for getting Mia ready in the morning. Such as:
"Tip # 4: Just leave her hair down and comb it. DO NOT FORGET THE BERET. I SHIT YOU NOT SHE WILL REMIND YOU OF YOUR MISTAKE BY BEING A DEMON SPAWN FOR THE REST OF THE MORNING BUT WON'T BOTHER TELLING YOU WHAT YOU DID WRONG. RENE HAS TAUGHT HER VERY WELL. SO I CAUTION YOU."
Yeah. He'll be fine.
Now, there will be no judgment. I'm not a pill popper or anything. And I don't usually resort to pills to get the job done but this time I was determined to get some restful sleep last night.
But it wasn't until I finally woke up around 1 in the afternoon that I realized I had been coasting on the edge of death for a long while. My body wasn't used to getting this much sleep so I still felt a little sluggish. Or maybe that's the sleep aides I took. Whichever. It doesn't really matter now does it. I think I'll even treat myself to a nice warm bath.
I spent a good 45 minutes scrubbing, shaving, draining and refilling the tub and finally soaking. It was heavenly. Or the closest thing to heaven.
I could hear ringing going off in the other room informing me of a phone call that I would not be able to reach in time to answer. Basking in the slowly cooling water for a few more minutes, I sigh softly. Eventually I get out, and with a towel wrapped around my wet body, I pad back into my room.
My notifications alert me that I indeed missed a call.
- MOM -
Okay so she wasn't in the mood to wait for me to call her.
I get dressed quickly in a t-shirt and cotton shorts so I could get back to my phone.
Figuring that I couldn't avoid the woman forever, I press call and wait against the dial tone. I hear a beep as I waited for my mother to answer, knowing from the sound it was another text message.
I managed to send a quick reply before I felt the phone pick up on the other end.
"Hey Bumble B! I haven't heard from you in a while. What's shakin' bacon? God how old are you now? Has Mia hit puberty yet?"
"Mom it's been only a week." I said, my brow arching.
"I know! That's practically a year in mom years. Only a week and already I'm terribly homesick. Come on. Humor your lonely dear mother. You're suffering right?" She asks hopefully.
"Aw mom. You're breaking my heart here." I smiled at my mother. I missed her a lot. Like, a lot a lot.
"Good. I can't be the only one."
"I miss you too Ma." I said dryly.
"Oh I miss you too honey. So! Tell me. Is your bacon really shaking? Anything going on?"
"Ya know...just stuff." I shrug for effect. And grin as I hear the irritated whine in her voice. It was a well known fact that my mother needed gossip to live. "Life is all in the details," she would say. I think she got that off a bumper sticker...or some guys shirt. Either way she always said it as an excuse to pry. That and to remind me how many hours she spent in labor.
That one never gets old.
"Oh come on. I leave you alone with your father and you report back with no dirt? I'm so very disappointed in you." She tutted and my smile lacked any humor as I thought of the week I've had. Oh I had dirt. Though if I told you my feelings on all of it you'd fly us back to Phoenix and there is no way in hell I'm going back.
"There is...something." I nervously hedge out. I can already imagine her cradling the little device closer to her ear with both hands as she waits.
"I'm listenin' Bumble."
I've been thinking about this for a while. I had imagined myself at some point finding a plausible answer to explain all of this weird crap that's been happening in my life. But so far I've managed bupkis.
My life has been a big ball of confusion for the past three and something years. Even before Mia, weird shit had been happening. I don't even know where to begin retelling that stuff. It freaks me out even thinking about it.
But Mia...
Sometimes I wonder about her. I hope with all my soul that I'm just being paranoid but I know something isn't right. Something isn't quite normal. Its only a feeling. But I know in my gut that denying what I feel isn't going to make this go away and its certainly not going to make this easier to deal with. Whatever ...this may be.
I sound like a crazy person. People would just call her quirky. Or unique. Or any other adjective they can throw at me. But I'm not buying it. I mean, it's just sometimes there are moments when she's past the point of being quirky and stepping into a place all her own.
But then I also wonder... is it just me? I have no idea what I'm even suggesting. At this point its all just gut instinct. And the few stupid times that I've ever ignored my gut instinct have always left me in a bad way some how.
"Well its about Mia -but before you go all concerned psycho grandma on me...I wanna ask you something first."
"Anything baby." Her tone is soft and I know she means it. She'll divulge anything. I smiled at her.
"When I was little...did I ever...I mean, was I always..." I sighed.
How do I word this and not sound mental?
"Were you always ...adorable? Yes. So much it should have been illegal. All of our snobby neighbors were jealous. Oh, I was so proud!" She fakes a sniffle. And I laugh softly on the other end.
"No thats not it but...that would explain some things. Um what I meant to say was...did anything...ever happen...when I was little?"
It went silent and the lack of a response stretches on for what seems like forever and a day. I lift the phone away from my ear to check the screen. Did she hang up on me or something?
"What do you mean?" Her tone sounds... a little weird as she voices her words carefully.
"I mean weird stuff." I feel really stupid now that I'm saying that out loud. "Stuff that didn't ...really make any sense?" I say carefully, my grip on the phone tightening.
There was silence again...and then a loud but muffled curse in the background.
"Mom?"
"Yeah. M'here." She sighed. "What kind of stuff?" She asked evenly, her tone taking on an edge I have never heard from her before.
"Anything weird mom? Just anything not normal?" Please don't make me rephrase that a different way. I already feel like a fool for asking.
"Where is this coming from?"
I sighed as I palmed the side of my face. "I don't know. I sound crazy, don't I?"
"No baby girl you don't sound crazy. I'm just not sure what to tell you." She thinks I'm nuts. Of course she's unsure of what to say. Whatever I may have been suggesting or whatever I was goading my mother into admitting sounds completely odd. I'm not even sure what I wanted to hear exactly.
"Never mind. Forget I said anything."
There's an exhalation and a mumble of dying syllables, like she was about to say something but changed her mind. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you Bella."
I shrug. "It's cool."
There's a long pause. A tense pause. I feel like there's so much that should be said but instead all I hear on the other line is, "You're doing great B. Mia is lucky to have you. Always remember that."
"Even when I screw up?"
"Especially when you screw up. You're only...human, Bella." I frowned at the strange inflection in her voice but had nothing to go on so I let it go.
"Yeah. I guess..." I don't want to talk about this anymore. "How's Phil?"
"Fine. How's your head?"
"Fine. I just took a couple-wait. How'd you know my head was hurting?"
"...mothers intuition." She says mysteriously. I gave the phone an odd look. "Next time it happens, don't fight it, okay? Just think of a happy centered thought and coast it out. Trust me. Oh and lavender tea helps nicely. Might help you sleep better also."
"But why-"
"Am I telling you this? Why do I sound like I know what I'm talking about? Why am I telling you this when you had just had a collapse the day before when you hadn't mentioned it to me yet because you didn't want to worry me?"
My brow twitched in suspicion. "Uh yeah. All that stuff." I gestured.
She hummed and I could hear the small smile in her voice as she said, "Charlie told me."
I let out a breath. Well duh. "Oh. Of course he did." I chuckled. "You freaked me out for a second."
She hummed again. "I'm good at that."
"Yup. Haven't lost your touch I see."
"Never."
I smile.
"Now," She starts. "how's my beautiful granddaughter doing? Missing her Nana no doubt."
I rolled my eyes as I thought of the two. "God every other thing she does or reacts to reminds me of you." I groan. "You do realize you've ruined my child?"
"I admit nothing but excellence." She tones proudly.
"Of course you'd think that was a compliment."
"Wasn't it?"
I smiled at my twisting fingers as they toyed with the loose strings on the quilt. "I miss you Mom." I said softly.
"I know love. Me too. I miss you both."
"Mia's been dying to talk to you. She really misses her Nana."
"Her Nana misses her." My eyes burned with oncoming tears and I wiped them roughly.
"I'm so sorry we had to leave you like that."
"Oh honey. Don't you dare apologize. I know why you had to and I don't ever blame you for leaving. And we haven't lost each other or left each other. Not really. I'll always be a celly call away," I let out a watery chuckle. "And you can always talk to me whenever you need anything. Promise me that you'll call if anything happens. Whether it be crazy, unexplainable, or just plain weird. Or even all of the above. We'll get through it together. Okay?"
I sniffed and nodded. "Okay. I promise."
"Good. Now about this dirt I've been craving..."
We talked for an hour after that. Just going back and forth on what's been going on. We babbled about meaningless stuff and bickered back and forth. It was almost like I had never left. We were in the middle of ranting about a rerun of a show we both liked when my cell pinged that I had a text message.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the newly lit up screen.
- ALICE -
At first I hadn't answered Alice when she began texting me today. Honestly not knowing what to say. Luckily for me and my social awkwardness they were simple sentences, most of them were pretty funny in this dry witty way I've learned to associate with her, and just mentions of what had happened in class. She never inquires of anything or seems to expect anything more than silence. And it's all I gave her, that and short answers when a brief moment of inspiration to respond struck swiftly after her third text.
I pursed my lips as I heard the muffled murmuring of my mother rambling about a Xena episode she had seen. My mother: ever the feminist.
I switched my phone to speaker and went into my inbox.
"Oh I hear clicking. What's going on?"
"Nothing Mom. Just opening a text message." I said.
"Oh! Who from?" She asked curiously.
I hope you are feeling better today Bella. 4th isn't the same without you. -Alice
"Nobody you know." I smirked.
"Oh well that's no fun. Tell me! You never tell me anything."
I ignored my mother's whining and told Alice I was fine.
Who knew vegging all day could be so healing? -B
"Are you seriously pulling the 'you don't tell me anything' card?" I scoffed.
"That depends. Is it working?"
I chuckled. "No." I switched the speaker off and held the phone normally.
"Dang it! Well as your mother I order you to tell me who you're texting this instant!" I pulled the phone away from my ear as she wailed, smiling widely at my mother's shrieking.
"Nope. Consider this me flashing my 'I'm over 18 so I legally don't have to listen to you' card." I said giggling.
"Well as your mother I revoke your membership! Don't make me take away your free will little lady."
I rolled my eyes as I grinned. "I swear you're a bigger spaz than I am."
"Who do you think you learned it from. But really it's all part of being a crazy mother. You'll get this bat shit nutty eventually. And knowing my beautiful granddaughter you'll probably get there sooner than I did."
"Hey! That's not-...okay that's probably really accurate." I mumbled.
She laughs on the other end. "Admit it sweet heart. You're already halfway there."
I rub my forehead tiredly. "I swear normal people would have hung up by now."
"Oh Bumble, trust me, you've never been normal." She laughs. "That's what I love about you."
I sighed and plopped backwards in bed.
Ping!
I switch to speaker and open the text message. I laugh at her witty response and type back a reply. Of course all this mystery seems to irk my mother even more.
"Still at it huh? I don't see why you won't just tell me who you're talking to. Am I that horrible to converse with that you have to find other people to chat with while I'm complaining."
"Aw Ma. You don't need my help complaining." I joke.
"I swear you just love torturing me. You know how much I hate suspense!"
"Oh I'm well aware." I said with a smirk.
"You're not allowed to change the subject."
"But I'm so good at it." I said with a smirk as I texted with my phone held in the air.
"Are you sure I don't know this person?"
"Positive." I smiled softly at another text from Alice and punched in a reply quickly. Mother was getting antsy.
"Oh so it's a sexy friend?" She says in a suggestive teasing manner.
I almost gag at her tone.
"I'm hanging up now."
"Oh no you don't. I'm only messing with you Bella. My word. Sometimes you can be so uptight."
"I'm uptight." I declare monotone. "Gee, thanks Ma."
"Someone had to tell you sooner or later."
"I would have preferred later."
"Yeah but by that point your butt crack would have been nonexistent. So if you think about it, I did you a favor."
"That's so gross. I can't believe you just said that." I chuckle.
"It's so true though."
I smacked my face. This conversation is in desperate need of a subject change. Like now. "Ugh. Have you sent my stuff yet?"
"...which stuff was it again?" I smacked my forehead.
"The box marked B & M's stuff. Mia colored the damn thing so you'd remember that it was her stuff too. Sounding familiar?"
"Oh that box." She chuckles. "Oh honey, I sent that days ago."
"Thank God. I'm tired of washing the same two pairs of pants."
"That's why normal people go shopping." She jested.
"You know I hate shopping." I grumbled.
"Yes well I imagine you'll hate being naked even more so I'd do it this weekend if you can manage it. Honey you're not pregnant anymore and you're the most beautiful brown eyed 18 year old girl I know. You shouldn't be so adverse to the thought of going to a mall."
"Gee thanks. Cause that narrows it down like a ton. How many 18 year olds do you know exactly?"
"I know plenty. Just the other day I was talking to a nice young man around your age who wanted me to buy him liquor."
I rub my temples. "That doesn't make him your friend Ma. That makes you a danger to stupid teenagers everywhere."
"Oh pah! Now as I was saying. You have nothing to be self-conscious about. You look lovely in anything ... except pastels. Consult me if you even THINK about wearing anything pastel."
"Will do." I mock salute her.
"Anyways with Washington's disgusting weather barraging down on your sensitive skin, shopping should be a priority even after you get your stuff back. Actually you should do it before then. Tomorrow. Do it then."
"I have school tomorrow."
"Then do it after."
"I have no one to watch Mia."
"I'm sure Charlie will be more than happy to watch his granddaughter while you go look for some new clothes."
"Yeah until she punches him in the 'stache." I roll my eyes.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. I'll just do it this weekend."
"Why don't you bring a friend with you? Make it fun!"
"I don't have friends like that yet." Well, I did. But I doubt I could have conned even Emmett to go with me.
"What about the mystery person that you refuse to tell me about?"
"Don't know her well enough either."
"That's why they say communication is key. Ask her. Bring her with you and get to know her."
"Why are you pushing this so hard?"
I hear a long sigh on the other end of the line.
"Oh I don't know maybe because I want you to be happy, make friends, be a normal giggly teenager. And if you can't manage giggly, fake it to make it. That's what I do on most of my dates."
"Whoa! Who said anything about a date?!" She does realize we're talking about a girl right?
"Oh did I say date? Silly me." She giggles.
"Okay that's it. I'm well over my dose of crazy from you. This conversation is ov-"
A door swooshes open, shaking the house slightly caused by the suction of the heavy wind outside. "Hey Bells we're home!"
"Moooommyyyyyy!" Mia hollered at the top of her lungs. I hoisted myself out of bed and padded down the stairs.
"Is that my little Mia I hear? Oh let me talk to her! I've been deprived for eight long excruciating days!"
I sigh. "Okay hold on a sec." I crouch down and watch as Mia hangs up her coat on the lower hook, her back to me. "Hey Mia." I call. The girl turns around at the sound of my voice and grins as she runs full speed into my arms, effectively knocking me over with an, "Oof!" and insuring the phone to no longer be in my grasp anymore.
"I missed you too." I laughed.
She showers my face in butterfly kisses. I push her up and lean over to retrieve the phone that was scattered somewhere behind me. I check to see that the call didn't disconnect and then present the phone to Mia. "Someone wants to talk you." I sing song as I wiggled the phone between my thumb and middle finger.
She looks at the device curiously. I hold the phone up to her ear for her and watch as her eyes light up and she bounces in my lap.
"Nana!"
I grin widely.
I love how easy it is to make her smile.
Alrighty folks now we can really move things along. Mostly my main goal was to get you acquainted with the main players first before we moved forward and since that's mostly been established - with the exception of an obvious and not so obvious few - we can carry on to the juicy bits of the story. And also have some fun along the way.
So what's your take on Renee? Think she knows something? Is it really only Mia whose driven Bella to the point of bat shit nutty? *point point: Renee* lol. Share your thoughts and I'll get back to you with the next chapter.
- Lil' Miss
