Chapter 11. Black and white:

--Sesshomaru--

I barely had enough sense to keep control of the demon with in as my blood began to boil. WHAT was she wearing?! What… what… oh how, I… speechless. I just need to cool down; I just need to… get over there NOW!

"Rin!" I growled making her jump as she spun around making me nearly fall over. What… wow, I mean… WHAT. How, why… she… oh keep control of yourself. I couldn't help but swallow before turning to walk away before I made a fool of this Sesshomaru. Never had I been so totally off my guard like that. I couldn't let anyone ever see me that weak again, but oh no there it was… her sweet voice calling my name. I never thought this could have happened… why did I let this happen?

"Sesshomaru!" she yelled chasing after me her hands finding my sleeve where once an arm was. Sometimes I felt this made me less… then what I was what I am.

"Rin…" I stopped when we were away from others ears and eyes, hidden behind a maze of tall bushes.

"I didn't know you didn't want me here," Rin said worriedly, "what have I done to make you angry?"

"What are you wearing? You've… do you have no shame?" I asked trying to hide the fact that I saw the hurt on her face as she slowly looked down.

"I am just trying to blend in," she said trying to not let me see that she was crying, "You haven't been around lord Sesshomaru. I've been sitting around watching people go by and wondering why you didn't want to be around me anymore. I'm sorry if I have offended or embarrassed you in any way."

"Why couldn't you wait for me Rin? Why would you just assume that I… Rin I left because I lost your necklace and knew how much you loved it. I couldn't face you until I had that necklace. I didn't want you to…" how do I tell her I love her and didn't want her to stop loving me without saying those exact words, "I didn't want to lose your… devotion."

"I love you Sesshomaru always forever near and far everywhere I will be with you, everything I will do for you if you asked my lord," Rin said smiling at him, "I don't need a necklace to feel that way. Devoted or any other."

"Rin…" was all I could say what do I say to that, "what do you want me to say Rin."

"Say you'll always love me forever, never stop never whatever, near or for at all everywhere and everything," Rin said looking up deep into my eyes trying to fish for answers on how I felt for her. I… want to… how I want to but I can't.

"Rin," I started stuttering trying to answer her. All I could do was hand her the necklace, Rin must have caught the way I was looking at her for a brief moment or something because she grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Help me put it on," she said not caring that it happened to be dirty. I looked at her blankly as I took it from the palm of her small hand. She slowly turned lifting up her long hair as my arm looped through her own so I could string it around her neck. I felt as my wrist touched the top of her breast and I felt the animal inside me want to take over. Her hand touched mine taking one end as she used the other hand to hold up her long silky wonderful smelling hair up as I clasped the necklace together. My hand fell to her shoulder turning her around intoxicated by her smell. She looked up at me with deep brown eyes as my hand found her hair as we never broke eye contact, is this what love felt like? Why was I denying it? Why was I letting something so amazing get away? That's right… to protect her. My hand almost found her face before I gripped her shoulder.

"I told you I can't give you what you want Rin. I am your lord and you are my charge, I will always protect you and be there for you no more no less," I said before turning to leave her there not wanting to see the hurt on her face. So close I came to caving, so close I came to letting go… to letting myself be free.

--Rin--

I sat there for a moment touching the necklace that rested on my chest as I watched him walk away. I stood there with a broken heart; yes I must admit I tried to spell it out for him though it would never be that simple. If he just realized what I realized that we would be perfect for each other. If he could just realize… I'm on his side, if only I could tell him to take time to realize this heart could pass him by. But I can't spell it out for him. What do I do? It doesn't matter because he is so damn stubborn! That stupid prideful… I won't think on this anymore I shall go enjoy the rest of my night.

"Rin," a deep voice caught my attention making me spin around with quickness. I smiled as I saw Halder standing there with a giant grin.

"Is everything alright?" I asked as his eyes fell upon the necklace dangling from my neck.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Halder said a look I hadn't seen before. He seemed a little upset, or perhaps the light just made it seem so, "I heard you and Sesshomaru arguing. Did he give that to you?"

"Well yes he did isn't it lovely?" I asked smiling innocently. It faded when he sighed unsure what to say, "Lord Sesshomaru gave it to me some time ago and I gave it to him to hold onto to protect him. A promise between us, we were not arguing… he lost my necklace and brought it back to me."

"Well," he said walking up closer staring at it, "you look very beautiful tonight."

"Really?" I smiled up at him backing away slightly uncomfortable with the closeness.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked touching my bare shoulder. I just looked from his clawed hand to his face before shaking my head no, "good."

"It is getting late your majesty I think I should retire to my room," I said trying to be as polite as possible. He just nodded realizing that I was slightly hesitant about him, so he simply took my hand in his and kissed it.

"Well then until tomorrow milady," he said releasing my hand making me feel a little nervous yet intrigued. I wanted to see more of him, he was so nice that I couldn't help but fall for him a little. I smiled before nodding yes and then turning to leave. I went to my room where I thought of both Sesshomaru's rejection and Halder's affection.

Rin woke up early almost before the sun had risen, and took off out her door. The hard wooden floor was freezing against her bare feet as she snuck down to Jaken's room. Her white long cotton night dress dragged on the floor nearly making her trip when she happened to step on it. It was extremely early, but Rin needed to talk to Jaken she wanted to know what was going on with Lord Sesshomaru. He had taken off once again late at night… it was the third day in a row where he would leave in the night. Rin didn't expect to hit something that knocked her down, looking up she noticed her lord standing there. He had apparently returned from his little adventure without her.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said not expecting to see him, especially in her nightgown. He looked down at her without a word before walking past her heading for his room. Rin frowned before jumping up and following her lord who slammed the door behind him. Rin knocked on his door extremely loudly, but no answer so she did it again and kept doing it until she got an answer.

"I do not wish to be disturbed," Sesshomaru said looking at her with no kindness on his face. Rin just glared at him.

"What have you been up to lord Sesshomaru," she said placing her hands on her hips.

"You have no right nor place to ask me such a question or in the manner you asked it," Sesshomaru said nearly shutting the door in her face.

"Do not push me away," Rin cried catching him off guard. He stopped in his place the door half way closed, he slowly opened it to see tears in Rin's eyes as she asked, "do you plan on leaving us?"

"Come in Rin," he said grabbing her arm and pulling her into his room. It was very different then hers… it was dark and almost scary. Her lord liked his things that way; even though she did not understand it she respected it.

"Do you lord Sesshomaru? Are you leaving us again… are you leaving me again?" Rin cried grabbing at his sleeve.

"Rin I never left you," he said catching her off guard. He could not look her in the eyes as she clung to him, her eyes was his weakness it made him want to cave. Rin couldn't help but stare up at him her mind wondering with hopeful dreams that he couldn't let himself cave into.

"What?" she finally asked making him sigh as he turned to look at her, "I've never left you Rin and nor will I leave you. I promised to protect you and protect you I will do. But I cannot always be there with you."

"Then where do you keep leaving to?" Rin asked swallowing nervously. He smiled down at her his hand finding her shoulder as he reassured her.

"Protecting you," he said before pushing her aside and walking to his chair and large desk which had maps and parchments scattered across it.

"From what lord Sesshomaru?" she asked walking to the table.

"You know about Naraku and the treachery he has caused so many. He has taken so much from so many. Do you remember Kikyo?" Sesshomaru asked sitting in his giant round furry chair.

"Of course she was that miko who liked Inuyasha and he her. The one who Kagome was reincarnated after, I wonder how Kagome is. I didn't like that Kikyo she was very cold… and she never really smiled," Rin said feeling bad for her fate but not liking the fact she had tried to tare Inuyasha and Kagome from each other.

"Yes well she was that way because of Naraku," Sesshomaru said leaning back as if he was extremely tired from his travels, "well prince Halder's grandfather had two boys by a human woman Halder's father who was a friend of my fathers and a boy who did not want to be king so he took off and had two daughters with a human woman. Kikyo and her sister, that old woman with the eye patch on one eye."

"Oh really?" Rin said intrigued by it all, "so then Kikyo is Halder's cousin? So then Halder is not a youkai but in fact a hanyou?"

"Yes so you can see how there would be a huge rival between Naraku and Halder's family. And he would not be considered completely a hanyou for he has more youkai blood then hanyou. His father who was a hanyou yes happened to marry a woman who was of high youkai blood," Sesshomaru said disliking the whole mix, "but Naraku has off and on been sending attacks upon Kikyo's family line mostly this one for its high threat to him for many years. My father once needed aid and Halder's father came to his aid which made them have an surprising alliance, so my father gave his word that when ever him or his family was in need his family would aid them in a battle. That is why I am here, and since you are here I must make sure that this place is completely safe and posses no threat to you."

"So then Halder… he isn't such a bad guy?" Rin said shyly making Sesshomaru look at her with curiosity.

"I grew up with him a little, he is no threat but he isn't a very good man," Sesshomaru said looking at her, "he has a temper and has a short fuse. Believe me I taught him a few lessons when we were a kid. He is an ally, but I wouldn't go as far as really calling him a friend or at least a close one."

"Really?" Rin giggled, "Well he has been really nice to me."

"Has he now?" Sesshomaru said giving her a look that showed a little bit of jealousy but self restraint as well.

"Yes he has," Rin said smiling making him look down at papers so she couldn't see the anger in his eyes.

"What have you been doing while I've been gone," Sesshomaru demanded more then asked.

"A lot Sesshomaru he's shown me almost his entire kingdom and all the pretty gardens around. We've done a lot of talking he seems incredibly nice my lord," Rin said innocently, "he's been very good company."

"Well he was supposed to be coming up with a strategy for war," Sesshomaru said looking up at Rin, "do not distract the prince anymore."

"Oh," Rin said thinking about it a minute, "but…"

"That is not a question Rin that is an order," Sesshomaru said looking at her seriously, "you are to no longer distract him."

"You leave me here constantly and then take away my only friend it isn't fair!" Rin yelled feeling outraged.

"He is not your friend!" Sesshomaru said standing up making Rin turn and run away. Rin nearly ran Halder over before he grabbed her arm stopping her.

"What is wrong Rin why are you crying?" Halder asked both his hands gripping her shoulders.

"I can't see you anymore," Rin said not looking at him trying to pull away.

"What are you talking about?" he laughed thinking she was joking.

"I am not allowed to distract you anymore," Rin said sniffling. Halder just smiled a charming smile as he lowered himself so he could look her in the eyes, he reminded her of a full youkai version of Inuyasha almost, "I'm sorry for being a distraction."

"You are no distraction you are my muse," he said making her smile, "and you encourage me with all of your wild opinions that make so much sense. And no one will stop me from seeing you."

"Really?" Rin asked feeling for once as if someone would do anything to be near her.

"Really," he reassured her, "and I will go tell Sesshomaru myself right now."

"Oh no," Rin said trying to stop him as he stormed down the hall Rin chasing after him trying to stop him afraid Sesshomaru would lose his temper and kill him like he did to everyone else.

"Sesshomaru we need to talk," the prince said after pounding on the door and then walking in.

"How dare you come to me in that tone," Sesshomaru growled dangerously. Rin stood outside of the door clutching her necklace in fear.

"How dare you tell Rin that she cannot see me anymore because she distracts me, and if she distracts me then that is my choice," Halder said growling back.

"Is that what this is about?" Sesshomaru almost laughed.

"Yes that is what this is about. You will not stop me from seeing her she is an amazing girl and she inspires me Sesshomaru and you for once cannot stop that," Halder said making Rin bite her lip nervously he was getting dangerously close to flipping Sesshomaru's switch.

"Is that what this is about are you using her as a way to get back at me for all the times I 'stopped you' from the stupid things you wanted to do because your father put me in charge?" Sesshomaru growled ready to dispose of the little pest.

"Don't be so childish this is not about that, this is about Rin and I…" Halder began and either Sesshomaru was tired of his disrespect or the sound of 'Rin and I' coming out of a man's mouth threw him off. His large hand found Halder's neck and he slammed him against the wall. Rin squealed before running into the room grabbing Sesshomaru's arm.

"Please stop your hurting him!" Rin screamed as Sesshomaru's eyes began to turn as Halder glared back pretending that the fact he couldn't breathe didn't bother him. It was Rin's deep cry that brought Sesshomaru back down, "Sesshomaru!!"

"Get out of here," Sesshomaru threw Halder down as Rin fell to his side, "so you have taken his side then Rin?"

"I have taken no side," Rin said angrily as she looked up at him disappointed. But only if she knew that it was her that saved him from killing Halder on the spot. Halder stood up glaring angrily before storming off. Rin stopped outside of the door to look in where Sesshomaru sat looking out the door, "Thank you. I will see you later alright?"

"Alright," he said taking her hand and kissing it. Rin turned around and walked back into the room making Sesshomaru's ears prick.

"There's a place in your heart nobodies been Sesshomaru take me there… because I don't understand some times," Rin said laying against his back wrapping her arms around him making him close his eyes feeling a little at peace, "what made you who you are… what's your story?"

"You already know Rin…because you're already in there in my heart," Sesshomaru said catching her off guard. Rin left it at that and neither talked as she sat next to him.

Rin spent the next day with Sesshomaru, he did not run off this day to go to mysterious places and make sure Rin was safe. She was safe because he was beside her, watching her, protecting her. She smiled up at him as she picked some flowers in her maroon dress with a gold waist. He couldn't help but let his mind wonder as he watched her. What would it be like to take her as his mate? It was very common around this area after all. But where he came from that would be a sign of weakness, they had to keep their relationship the way it was. He sighed wondering what it would be like when the time came when he'd have to live without her. He nodded when she stopped to wave at him before running with a bunch of flowers.

"Here," Rin said handing him a flower before throwing the rest up in the air to fall around them. She was something else, truly… she didn't see all the ugliness in which others did, she looked past his flaws and all the things he did wrong, the mean things he said to her. He wanted to tell her he loved her, he wanted to tell her there was no one else above her, that she filled his heart with gladness, she took away all his sadness, eased his troubles that's what she did.

"I don't need it Rin," he said looking at the tiny blue flower in his hand.

"I know," Rin said smiling, "but keep it… let it remind you of me."

"I don't need it to think of you," he said accidentally making her smile fade before she burst out laughing at the look on his face.

"Good," Rin said biting the side of her lip smiling at him before standing up again. She took off through the field again making him smile as she leaped avoiding the flowers so she could get to where she tied up her gray stallion. The way she rode that horse made something in him turn as he watched her movements. He quickly looked down trying to push those perverted thoughts out of his head. He looked back up not wanting to look away again, afraid to miss even a second of it. Would he always have her? She waved as her horse trotted beautifully in a circle and then stopped to stand on his hind legs at her command. She watched him curious at the way he was looking at her as he sat crisscrossed on the ground. If only she was close enough to read in his eyes how much he wanted to soak her, to watch her as if every minute would be the last minute. If only she knew that what she was doing was tearing him apart, filling up his mind, and emptying his heart.

"Rin," he called out making her give the gray stallion a soft kick so he would trot through the field to where he sat surrounded by the very things he once had no respect or like for… flowers.

"Yes lord Sesshomaru," Rin said stopping when she reached his side.

"It is getting late," Sesshomaru said standing up so he could be level with her. Rin smiled big at him.

"Shall we go home?" Rin said pulling the reins back to keep her horse from moving, "it should be near dinner time."

"That is not our home that is not your home," Sesshomaru said a little more harshly then needed. Rin swallowed blinking at him to hold back the fear.

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru I am sorry," Rin said gripping the reins tighter as he turned his back towards her and walked off slowly.

"And when this war is over… we are leaving," Sesshomaru added as she followed behind hurriedly.

"Welcome milady," Halder said kissing Rin's hand when she walked in a beautiful white and gold trimmed dress that hugged her tightly. Rin just smiled at him sweetly as Sesshomaru walked in behind her a dangerous look in his eyes. He would never admit out in the open he was jealous, but in his heart and mind he was extremely jealous at the thought of her being with anyone else. She was his and no one else's, and he would see to that if he had to. But why if he couldn't let himself be hers openly did he have to make it so she couldn't be with anyone else? He didn't care he just had to keep her to himself until… until it suited him.

"Thank you for your invitation Lord Halder," Rin said politely before passing him by and taking a seat. Sesshomaru sat next to her and Jaken on the other side of her. Halder didn't mind the obvious attempt at keeping him from her side, but he didn't mind sitting across from them so that he could look at her. She was so charming… so amazing.

"So when do we plan on marching out?" an older youkai with dark hair said as he took a bite of his food.

"Well we have men out to the source of our information. We have the whereabouts of Naraku and have needs of a strategy now," Halder said as he faced his peers and servants.

"Why don't we just attack we've been waiting on it!" a man busted out tired of the wait.

"I agree with him the more we sit like sitting ducks the more risks of another and possible greater attack presents itself," a man with long brown hair who seemed to be human said.

"Yes but if you just attack without strategy you leave yourselves vulnerable and your city defenseless," Sesshomaru said engaging in the conversation.

"Well Sesshomaru where we come from we never leave our city unattended and if we wait to strategize we become a larger target as he grows closer to us," the man argued back.

"But don't you think that Naraku will expect an out right attack?" Rin asked unable to control her curiosity.

"Excuse me?" the man asked looking to the girl he had never really seen before. Rin just cowered a little.

"Well Naraku will be expecting you to just go and attack him. Don't you think that he will have an army prepared for battle ready for your invasion? He is not stupid, yes he happens to make mistakes but they end up in his favor… it would be foolish to just stumble into his grasps he will squash any in his path. He will have a plan of his own," Rin said fiddling with her dress under the table; her eyes glanced over to Halder who watched her with his hand on his chin and a small smile.

"She is correct," Halder said making the brown haired man look at Halder angrily.

"She is just a child, she knows nothing of war and blood shed…" before he could finish Sesshomaru jumped to her aid.

"She has seen a lot of war and blood; she has had to take the wrath of Naraku as long as she has been by my side. Because of me she is the biggest target always has and until he is destroyed always will be," Sesshomaru said plainly making Rin smile at him admirably.

"How does that make it so she knows about how to handle such a situation?" the man asked challenging Sesshomaru's voice.

"Because I say so," Sesshomaru said before glancing at her from the corner of his eye. Halder watched intrigued by the conversation, Rin smiled looking down at her food.

"That settles it we shall come up with a strategy," Halder said eating his food, "now everybody eat."

Author's note- About time Sesshomaru stand up for Rin! I figured it was time for him to show a little public admiration and affection in some weird verbal defensive way.