Chapter 11

Through the rest of the case both of them have been distracted, neither spoke another word that was shared in the hospital room or mentioned it ever happened.

Watson knew though that he had – in a morphine and pain state – admitted his feelings towards Holmes. Something he had never dared to utter and found somewhat of a distraction in another's arms. A woman's arms that had made Watson feel somewhat normal but never complete, not like Holmes made him feel when he had embraced him.

Grasping his neck and shoulder gently Watson couldn't help but wince, it still hurt and he constantly felt the stinging burn of the blast that caused it.

"Does it still hurt?" Holmes asks blankly as he watched Watson move his arm jerkily. He still felt grief and guilt each time he saw the sliver of skin that was marred and stitched on his neck, each wince the good doctor made as he did movements like this.

Watson turns and smiles at the detective, "No, just stiff" he lied.

Holmes knew that the good doctor lied, normally he would point out the fact but today Watson looked tired and the guilt that flared in Holmes demanded him not to. The feelings, ones that Sherlock was unaccustomed too can no longer be pushed back into the very depths of his mind; he knew now that he truly cared for Watson.

But now was too late because Watson had Mary and Holmes couldn't take away that happiness from the good doctor, not even to have his own. Sherlock knew he was a selfish man, but to deny Watson a safe and happy life with a woman he so cared deeply for was too selfish; even for Holmes.

"Let's get you packed then. Shall we?" he gestured to the books before them, a sad look upon his face.

John stared at Holmes as the detective began to pack away his things, he knew Holmes was upset; but he knew that as soon as he told him he found… Mary.

"Come now Watson, this won't be packed by itself… Mary will be here tomorrow to collect your things…" Holmes tried to keep his voice neutral but it cracked several times, giving away his grief.

Shaking his head slightly Watson nodded and began to help back, his chest tightening with each book that was packed away.