Chapter 10- Waking Up


"A glass, a view, a mirror, which one distracts like open windows in the gusts,
A calm day will come, a calm day will.
This dream is, this dream is, this dream is in a telescope now.
Fever in bedtime covers go unknown,
This fright, it grows and misses, sinks and floats,
A calm day will come, my calm day will."

~The Joy Formidable, "The Greatest Light Is The Greatest Shade"


"You skipped school before first period began with another student..."

Natasha sat in Fury's office that Monday, silent as the principal reprimanded her.

"And not a model student at that." Fury said flatly when Loki both crossed their minds. Natasha bit her lip, and began to speak to the man in charge.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Fury. It's not what it seems like-"

"Miss. Romanoff, I don't give a damn about who you befriend," He said befriend as if he meant something else. "But if it means disrupting the rules of this school, then I will not have it."

"It won't happen again, sir."

"You've been on a good track, Miss. Romanoff. Don't stray off it. You may go now."

Fury was always blunt with her, and Natasha took his honesty. She nodded, picking up her messenger bag from his office's floor, and swung it over her shoulder quietly. With a quick nod in his direction, she slipped out of his office's door and into the waiting area. Fury's secretary eyed her as she walked out, slightly miffed that two students could get out of the school under her watch that Friday. Natasha gave her a guilty smile.

When she got back into the halls of Marvel High, she was surprised to see Clint waiting there outside the door.

"Hey," Natasha said, giving him a small smile. "What are you doing here?"

Clint watched her, a light frown on his face. "I was looking for you, actually. Maria told me you were at Fury's."

Natasha's eyebrows raised, and she looked around at the rushing students. "It's almost first period, I should probably go-"

"No." He said firmly, giving her one of his stony stares. "I need to talk to you now."

"Clint," Natasha said, exasperated. "We can later, I just finished talking with Fury about following school rules, I really can't afford-"

"See that, that right there!" He pointed to her. "You keep avoiding and avoiding. I mean come on, Tash. You have criminal forensics first period, and you know that teacher's a flake. They wouldn't care if you even showed up or not."

"Is that what you wanted to talk about? How I try not to be late for my classes?"

"No," Clint took a step closer to her and lowered his voice, his eyes turned softer. "We're worried about you, okay? I'm worried about you."

Clint and Natasha were closest to the other out of everyone in the group, mostly because they were so good at getting along. They both respected the other and did not need to talk all the time to know what the other meant. Clint had always known Natasha was not one to share everything with anyone- whether it was the past or her emotions, and he was not one to invade her privacy. This always kept somewhat of a gap between them, but it didn't change the fact that he cared about her.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on with you. I just know that ever since a few weeks ago you've been acting different. It's like you're here but you're not here." Natasha listened quietly as Clint went on. "I know you aren't the type to tell someone everything. But please, Natasha- just tell me what's happening."

Natasha looked at her best friend, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sadness.

He was right.

Ever since Loki had come along, things have changed. She had changed, still changing. Knowing what it felt like without a mask kept her from enjoying anything with her friends, who she still felt the need to hide from. She thought maybe she could dance around the situation and never really touch it or have to confront it, but she should have known Clint would wonder. The thought of telling him everything seemed so nice- so comfortable. But she still couldn't. He would always listen to her... but there was only one person who would actually get it.

"Clint..." She began, biting the inside of her lip as she tried to find the right words. "I know that lately I've been... um... a bit weird. And I wish I could tell you what's going on, but you just have to understand that I don't know how." Natasha was taken aback by how honest she was being without actually being honest. "But I swear, I'm okay. I'm doing a lot better than I was before, actually..."

It was true. The terrible emotions that accompanied losing the mask were starting to not be so terrible. She had actually grown to really yearn for it, the feeling of being lose and bare. With Loki came chaos- but in Natasha's case, chaos was what she needed to let go of all the control she had. In fact, she had been hoping to find a bit of this chaos in the form of him when she had walked from Fury's office, but to no avail. She had not seen him yet since the that Friday, when she finally started feeling better for once.

Free.

As if one of the heavy burdens she carried on her back had been lifted.

"I just..." Natasha shut her eyes and opened them again. "I need you to trust me on this, okay?" Clint was silent, observing her while she spoke to him. "Please tell me you understand?"

"For now." Clint gave her a hard look, but it was not mean or angry. He sighed, and repeated the same words that he told her the other day. "You know I'm here for you right? The others are, too. When you need to talk... if you need to talk, or if you want to- we're here for you."

For the first time in a while, Natasha smiled. Really smiled.

Her friends cared for her so much. Even Clint, who knew what she was capable of, always had this trust in her. It was overwhelming, and Natasha felt lighter when she thought about it. This wonderful feeling only grew stronger since that Friday. It was if what happened had taken away part of her mask, and in return gave back another piece of her essence. Some part of her she desperately wanted back.

Even though she could not tell him about it, Natasha still wanted to show Clint that she felt something.

Seconds before the warning bell rang for first period, Natasha moved forward and hugged him.

"Thank you," She told him into his tee shirt, and Clint was too surprised by Natasha's intimate gesture to even have time to hug back before she pulled away. Hugs had never really been her forte- Natasha was not the touchy feely type of person with anyone. When she broke the embrace, she was already backing away.

"Still my P.I.C.?" He asked her, one of his rare smiles coming to surface that only his close friends and Natasha could summon.

"Partner in crime? You know it." Natasha grinned at the joke they have together before running off to first period.


That Monday was the first day Loki had ever come to school on time.

It was a strange experience for him to pull into the parking lot and actually encounter people on his way walking through the double doors. They shied away from him when he got too close.

He looked around for her when he first got there, hating the way he felt like a desperate puppy dog, but his desire to see her outweighed his pride. So much, in fact, that he started heading to where he knew her locker was once he got inside the school.

Loki could not explain himself.

He had no idea what he would say to her when they eventually found each other- all he knew was that he needed to see her. It was almost as if he feared what happened on Friday did not really happen- he needed to see her as a reassurance that it was true. That he really opened up to someone, and that he really pieced more of her together.

Loki felt so stupid, and tapped his fingers against his leg in impatience as he walked. This was something he swore he would never, ever do.

Rounding the corner to the right hallway, what he didn't expect at Natasha's locker were three girls, laughing as they taped something inside the metal box. Loki had seen these girls around the school some time, but never gave so much as a care about them or what they did. Now he wasn't so sure.

Narrowing his eyes as he stalked over there, Loki stood before them, his head tilted to one side. "This locker doesn't seem to belong to any of you."

One of the girls flipped her hair back as she turned to him, smirking. They looked at him in a way that someone would look at a bug or a toilet.

"Do you know who we are?" The one girl asked, not close to Loki's height but acting as if she was.

"Do you really think I give a shit about who you are?"

The one girl looked taken aback at his words, almost like a pissed off bird whose feathers were ruffled. These were the type of people who assumed people knew who they were- as if the world was literally built around their existance. If he weren't trying to intimidate them, Loki would have laughed. A different girl in the group of three spoke then.

"Wait, I remember you. You're Natasha's pet freak. You were the one who helped her to the nurse." Loki guessed that calling him a freak was supposed to faze him somehow, but he had become strangely accustomed to the name.

His menacing grin stretched across his face, and suddenly the girls did not seem as amused and uncaring as before. "I suggest you run off," Loki purred, taking a step closer to them. "Before the pet gets a little angry."

The three girls looked up at him in disgust, already starting to back away. One dropped the tape they were using to put god knows what in Natasha's locker. "You really are a freak, you know," The leader of their pack had called back to him, an ugly scowl on her face. They had a hard time stumbling away in their heels. Loki ignored the sting of her words, and instead turned to look inside the locker to see what they put there.

What he found was photographs, slightly curling at the edges from age. Natasha was in every single one of them, another guy with her in the most humiliating of ways. Loki could not imagine anyone getting away with taking this kind of picture unless Natasha was drunk at some party, and unaware of what was going on. It was the shocking kind of images that could not just slip the mind. It seemed the more he found out about Natasha, more questions arose. He knew one thing for sure- the girl in this picture was not the same girl he knew now.

Loki thought of the girls who taped these terrible things in Natasha's locker to see and a rage grew within him. He wondered if this was the first time they had done this sort of thing with her, if her friends even knew. He was one for pranks and mischief, but this was something else entirely. It forced his natural aggression to the surface.

Before he knew it, Loki reached inside the locker and ripped the pictures down. He stuffed them into his pockets when he heard a voice coming from the other end of the hall.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" It was the rich boy Tony Stark, accompanied by Pepper Potts. They hurried towards him, as if the ground underneath Natasha's locker was something sacred to be guarded.

"This is America, is it not? I can stand where I want."

Tony was much shorter than Loki was, but it didn't stop him from facing off with the school's finest rebel.

"Is it Tasha? Is that why you're here?" Pepper asked him with narrowed eyes, remembering Loki from gym class before. This was the Thor's brother, the one Natasha had asked about during lunch... and now he was waiting at her locker. The dots of Pepper's suspicion were officially connected.

"Forget it," Loki looked to the thin ginger-haired girl. "I can see I don't belong here." The way Loki talked made Pepper feel uncomfortable, and she fought the urge to flinch under his gaze. Loki turned and sauntered away from them, the horrible pictures still stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket. The two loyal friends watched after him, confused and distraught over what had just happened.

Loki headed to the boys bathroom, knowing exactly what he had to do.

When he entered the blue tiled hideout, every other guy who was in there looked up at him, and in haste, hurried to leave. One boy even forgot to zip up his fly. Loki watched them all scurry in a frenzy to leave his presence. He gave them each a glare that would give them nightmares.

Once he was alone, he took all the pictures from his pockets and put them in the metal garbage can. Taking out his lighter, Loki felt no shame when lit them all on fire. The flames ate at the paper, and he watched them burn. The images of Natasha and the men blackened, crumbling away to ashes. He felt satisfied to see them gone from this world.


Natasha arrived at her locker to find Pepper and Tony there, talking together in hushed tones. She felt slight disappointment that a certain boy with raven colored hair was not present, but made sure it wasn't evident on her face.

"Hey, guys." She said, aware of how strange the two of them seemed when they talked together. Tony was never serious. Really, never. Ever. It was even stranger to see her locker was already open, and for a moment Natasha felt true terror of what could be inside.

Please, please tell me Pepper and Tony didn't see anything...

But once she got there, she found the insides of her locker were bare. Natasha frowned, feeling relieved but confused. Usually there would be pictures, some kind of reminder of a terrible thing she once did. Today... nothing.

So what are these two so serious about?

"Hey, Tashie. Is there something interesting about those blank walls of your locker?" Tony joked about her befuddlement.

Natasha smiled and punched his arm playfully. For the first time, she felt alright as she put her books away. She didn't have to hide the insides of her locker from her friends around, because there was nothing there. It seemed there was only one person that could somewhat make her day better at this point, and she hoped she could see or talk to him at some point between classes or maybe even at lunch.

"So... that Loki kid was at your locker before." Pepper said casually, watching Natasha for her reaction.

Inside of her, Natasha felt like something imploded. Questions raced through her mind as she shut her locker calmly, but the master manipulator still had enough of her mask to cover it. She widened her eyes in surprise. "He did? That's weird." Her voice was indifferent, as if she did not even know what Loki they could be talking about.

"Yeah. It is weird." Tony said flatly, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

Natasha shrugged and lied. "It's not like I ever talk to him. I don't know why he would have been here."

That was when the fire alarm went off.

The kids around all looked up, dumbfounded as the sprinklers above them went off. The girls panicked, desperately trying to cover their heads of perfectly straightened hair, and the guys just laughed and pushed each other around. The floors grew slippery, and it got hard to walk. Teachers came out of their classrooms shouting, trying to herd everyone in an orderly fashion at the sound of the unpleasant wailing.

Natasha took the chance to slip away from Pepper and Tony as everyone walked out the school's doors and onto the football field near the school, waiting to see what had happened. The fire trucks even came, and people were shocked to find it was not a drill.

The students all sat in the bleachers, Natasha somehow had gotten roped into sitting with her group of friends, Pepper and Tony still suspicious of her. The others seemed somewhat oblivious.

She tried to look for Loki without being noticeable, and eventually spotted him at the bottom of the bleachers they were sitting in, apart from everyone else. It looked as if people went out of their way to not be near him. Smoke wafted from his head, and she could not hide a smile as he tapped the ashes from his cigarette onto the football field's impeccable grass. Those around him wrinkled their noses in disgust, but he did not so much as look at them.

That was when Fury came onto the field, and pointed to him, a look of pure anger in his one eye.

Two police officers approached Loki then, grabbed him by the arms and hoisted him up. They began to escort him away, and Loki did fight. He walked ahead of them, seeming somewhat bored as he continued to smoke his cigarette before flicking it off somewhere in the field.

Some of the students began to cheer and whoop for the kid who got them out of class, but most simply looked at each other, shaking their heads about how they just knew it was him all along. A lot were angry that he was the reason they were wet and freezing- somehow finding reason to hate him more than they already did.

"Him? He's the reason we're all out here?" Steve looked furious, as if setting off the fire alarm was a crime against humanity.

Bruce shrugged as he wiped water out of his glasses. "I don't really know how you can be surprised."

Natasha wanted to laugh, but held back. She could feel Pepper and Tony's stare from behind.

While walking away to his punishment, Loki turned around for a moment, finding Natasha in the crowd. His wide grin could be seen even from the distance, and it took all of Natasha's skill not to turn the color of her hair when he winked.


I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I may or may not have recently gotten obsessed with the show Supernatural. (and DAMN, I can't believe what i've been missing. those winchester boys, just... whoa. *fans self*) ANYWAY.

Excuse my language, but this chapter was a bitch to get through. But now it's up, so whoo! Try not to hate Pepper and Tony too much... they just have good intentions. And Loki is sort of a bad boy, if you know what I mean. ;)

I will post again very soon, because I am pumped for the next chapter to finally get up- it's one i written a while ago. and i have many feelings towards it.

AND AND AND 44 REVIEWS! SAWEET. You guys are awesome! I loves you.

Also have some crap news. In a week I go back to... DUN DUN DUN... high school. :( :( :( but no worries. I already have this entire story plotted out, and there is no way I'm bailing on it. I think that if anything, I'll post more since I do everything possible to procrastinate on my actual work. but it does not make going back suck any less.

Anyway. Enjoy!

and review review review!