I'm going to be eaten if I don't do Tigerstar eventually. So, here he is! And thanks for all the happy birthdays! I forgot to pass out cake though. –gives cake to the reviewers-
Disclaimer: Rainsong. No. Own. Warriors. Must I spell it out? I do? Aww…R-a-i-n-s-o-n-g d-o-e-s-n-'-t o-w-n W-a-r-r-i-o-r-s.
Congratulations on purchasing the TIGERSTAR unit! He'll arrive in a crate made of dandelion fluff. Why? He'll only break out easier…Anyway, as soon as he breaks out, stand very still and snarl at him. Make sure to show your teeth! He'll take this as a challenge and eat you. If you manage to overpower him, though, he will now associate you as boss. Well, that was a lot of hard work down the drain if you sent your sibling or someone to take the heat for you. Cause now the TIGERSTAR unit associates them as boss, and will eat you anyway. Sucks to be you.
The TIGERSTAR unit comes in many modes.
KIT: In this mode, the TIGERSTAR unit will call himself Tigerkit and be all cute and adorable, if not slightly spoiled.
GOOD APPRENTICE: Your TIGERSTAR unit is a young apprentice, still nice and sweet. He'll call himself Tigerpaw.
BAD APPRENTICE: Your TIGERSTAR unit will be an evil, older apprentice. 'Nuff said.
WARRIOR: Your TIGERSTAR unit will call himself Tigerclaw and be evil. He'll be subject to many parodies in which he is girlied to the extreme, and will kill a nearby REDTAIL unit.
DEPUTY: Your TIGERSTAR unit doesn't do much here, just commit attempted murder and constantly complain of IIED (Intentional Inflictment of Emotional Distress)
LEADER: Your TIGERSTAR unit is a failure. He managed to snag a desperate clan, nothing more. He'll also call on his greatest enemy to help and die in the attempt. Nyehehe.
OOC: In this mode, your TIGERSTAR unit will eat everything. Seriously. Everything. Hide your valuables! –-
TRUCKS AND TRAINS: There our short attention-span workers go again. Instead of downloading behavioral patterns for a different TIGERSTAR unit mode, they instead made vroom noises and downloaded a series of videos about monster trucks. And fire trucks.
The TIGERSTAR unit comes with many handy functions which you can use around your home
-Destroying stuff: Do you have an old baseball which you hate? Do you just want to rip it to shreds, but don't have the claws? Well, the TIGERSTAR unit does! He'll claw in to shreds, even if you liked that 300 million dollar sofa!
-Nothing. No, seriously, nothing else. What, you expected us to have something you can actually use here? Pfft! Customers! Always wanting what their money is worth!
The TIGERSTAR unit comes with many questions, so please redirect yourself to our FAQ before emailing us at thisisinvisible fakesite . com
Q-My FIRESTAR unit is dead!
A-You had him in KITTYPET mode, and the TIGERSTAR unit took advantage of this.
Q-Er…Okay…Can I get a refund?
A-No! To the corner with you for asking!
Q-But it's so cold there…
A-No, you can't have a blanket. Or pillows.
Q-Can I at least eat something? I haven't had anything for days! Or at least something to drink?
A-No.
Q-My TIGERSTAR unit is acting….nice….I'm getting freaked out…
A-He's in either KIT or GOOD APPRENTICE mode.
Q-My TIGERSTAR unit is making all these noises….They sound a whole bunch like a garbage truck. What's happening?
A-He's in TRUCKS AND TRAINS mode. He can only talk in truck talk when in this mode. He's currently swearing. When's he's happy, he'll sound sort of like an ice-cream truck, and when he's afraid, he'll sound the train whistle.
Q-The TIGERSTAR unit just ate my house!
A-When in OOC mode, he'll eat everything.
Q-Do I get compensated?
A-No.
Here are the reviews a few satisfied customers left us:
Trucks_Trains_and_more: With the TIGERSTAR unit by our side, we were able to do more and more really bad recreations of stuff that happened on the road. GO LEGENDS!
Eep!: I hate the TIGERSTAR unit! It ruined my life! I used to be a daycare supervisor, but he ate everything! Everything! Even the children! I want a refund! Hey, what are you doing with that harpoon? GET AWAY FROM-We are sorry, this comment has been disabled
Corporotemachine: I love the –insert product(s) here!- It's amazing! All my friends are jealous that I have my own –insert name of product(s) here-
The TIGERSTAR unit comes at the conviniently low price of your heart (We don't accept hairy ones) and shipping is a pass to the Fountain of Fair Fortune! Call us now at 1-888-TIG-STAR, or go to our website at itstheyearofthetigerwhoknew? . com. Order the TIGERSTAR unit today!
I have a huge pile of requests that need doing, and the BREEZEPELT unit will be next, followed by the SQUIRRELFLIGHT and LEAFPOOL units. After that is determined by you guys.
