Ned looked at the numbers written on the papers on his desk . He's been starring at them for hours and now they were like a foreign language , sign it was time for him to take some rest . Maester Luwin was sat close to him , writing everything on a neat paper .
"It's late Maester . I think it's time for us to go to sleep .."
"As you wish my Lord .."
He rolled the papers carefully when someone knocked .
"It's probably Cat , ready to yell at me .." said Ned with a smile . "Come in !"
But at his big surprise it wasn't his wife but Thessana . She was looking around , frowning , obviously scared to have interrupted something .
"Come in Lady Thessana don't be scared . What can I do for you ? It's late shouldn't you be sleeping ?"
"I am not Lady you know . I wanted to ask you a favour my Lord ."
"Tell me .."
"Do you have a spare map ? Of all realms ? I was looking for one in the library but I couldn't find it … "
"Maester do we have a spare map ?"
"I think so my Lord . Wait a minute child ..."
Thessana chewed her lower lip waiting and Ned smile , remembering how Robb used to chew his lower lip everytime he was surrounded by the North' bannermen .
"If I may ask , why do you need a map ?"
"Oh uhm... I'm working on something my Lord .."
"Planning a war ?"
"You got me .." she said smiling .
"Here it is !" said Maester Luwin , handing her the map .
"Thanks a lot Maester , my Lord . I should go now . Sorry for interrupting and thanks again ."
She bowed to them and left quickly . Everybody was sleeping so she was trying to make her way to the library as silently as possible .
"Jon can I talk to you ?"
"Yes father .."
Jon followed his father in the yard where they looked at Robb and Theon practising .
"I noticed that you were the one spending most of your time with Thessana . What is she doing in the library ?"
"She's looking for a way to get back her memories . She thinks that she might find something in the books ..."
"I hope she finds what she looks for … How is Robb dealing with all that ?"
"He doesn't talk to me that much father … "
"Because of her ?"
"Robb expects her to act as his bride but she doesn't remember him so there's a bit of tension between them . And any of them want to make the first step ."
"Stubborn …
"Worst than that ."
"Thanks Jon . You can go back practise with them ."
"Thanks father ."
Robb looked at his father walking away then at Jon .
"What did he want ?"
"Know why you aren't helping Thess with her research ."
"Very funny Jon … "
"She haven't slept in days . Maybe she'll be nicer ."
Jon smiled at his brother , trying to not laugh but Robb threw him his gloves and they both burst in laughs .
"She's going to kill me if I ever try to get closer . Like skin me then wear it as a cloak ."
"Well at least you'll be with her .."
"That's a way indeed … I'm sorry . For my attitude . What's happening it's not your fault . I guess I was angry at myself for my foolishness but couldn't admit it .."
"Go talk to her . This time it'll be better ."
Robb waited that the whole castle was asleep to sneak out his room and go to the library . Thessana was there as always since a few days . Robb leaned against the door and looked at her as she talked to herself , writing things , reading others .
"Are you going to spy on me or actually come in ?"
"How did you know ?"
"You're not really number one in hiding ."
Robb smiled and came towards her , looking over her shoulder .
"Don't do that , I hate it . "
"Oh because there are things that you actually like ?"
"Not you or your attitude ."
"I noticed that .." whispered Robb
"Don't do that ."
"Do what ?"
"You're turning yourself into a victim and make me the mean one ."
"You are mean ."
"How old are you ? Three ? Four centuries to act like a child ?"
"I'm just stating facts ."
"No you're taking the problem with your only perception ."
"What does that mean ?"
"That you don't put yourself in my shoes . Don't try to understand what I feel . You expect me to act as your gentle betrothed woman while I don't have a single memory of you ."
"I tried to talk to you several times . Don't put this on my back ! Don't do it because you are as guilty as me ! I am here , around all the time , trying to help you but nothing . So sorry if I got bored to be insulted or pushed aside for Jon !"
"I feel like I've been raped ."
Robb looked at her , his words cut short . She looked at him with her big emerald eyes as the words sunk in Robb .
"I feel like I've been raped so sorry to not be nice to you every single time . Sorry to not sit with you around a fire and let you braid my hair while I tell you about my problems . Someone erased a whole part of my life . It was a intrusion in my privacy and it feels like I've been raped . If you really wanted to help me you'd know that . And to add to this , I'm surrounded by people who have memories of me , of moments I spent with them . People that are complete stranger to me . Every single time I close my eyes , I see someone trying to cut my throat . It's been days I haven't closed my eyes , I feel helpless , I feel humiliated . I was someone and now I'm nothing just because of a couple memories erased . I see in your eyes that you're expecting something from me . Love ? A loving wife ? I don't know and I can't give it to you . I can't give it to you because I don't have a single clue of who you are to me ..."
Robb kept looking at her as she wiped off the tears rolling down her cheeks . Robb took a step forward , leaning over her , trying to kiss her but she took a step back .
"I just told you that I feel raped and you try to kiss me .. You should ask people to teach you how to interact in society . Like quickly . Seriously ."
"Sorry I don't know why … I … Sorry ..."
He started to chew on his lower lip and she almost smile at the gesture she knew by heart . She felt bad for him all of a sudden .
"Do we do that a lot ?"
"Kiss ?"
"Fight .."
"Last time I saw we had a fight too … I guess that's our thing ."
"At least we share a thing ."
Robb laughed and looked at the papers and the map .
"Can I ?"
"Help yourself .."
He sat and looked at everything , even the books which were open .
"You read all that ?"
"Yes . I can read really fast when I have a purpose ..."
"Why the map ?"
"I'm sorry but .."
"You can't tell . It's okay . Just .. Jon isn't the only one who can listen .."
"You should stop your obession over Jon . Or marry him . "
"He's my brother ."
"Targaryens done it ."
"And they ended pretty well indeed ..."
"They had dragons which is pretty cool ."
"I rather have a direwolf .."
"Me too … And I like talking to Jon because he reminds me of how Loki was when we were children . Like a brother . Robb , I have nothing against you . I just don't know how to deal with the story between us ."
"There's no story if it's easier for you . I mean we were supposed to marry then you said no so in my wounded pride I left for war and I was reported dead and then you almost married Loki but you knew that I wasn't dead so you stopped everything and got stabbed and had your memory erased ."
"Wow ..." said Thessana , sitting on a chair next to him . "Nobody said that to me .."
"Shit . I think I wasn't supposed to .."
"Can you be more precise ? Like write it on a paper with details and all ?"
"You have a quill? And paper ?"
"Here .."
When Robb finished , the sun was almost rising . He looked at Thessana , to see her asleep on the table , breathing slowly . But her hands were shaking . His mother always told me to not wake up someone who was having a nightmare so he rested his head on his folded arms and waited for her to wake up . Strangely when she did , she wasn't scared or anything . She looked calm .
"Are you okay ?"
"The nightmares weren't that terrible ..."
"So nobody cut your throat ?"
"No actually someone was protecting me ..."
"Who ?"
"Him . Or it ."
She gave him a paper which was under a book of old Targaryen' prophecies . It was a drawing , a good one , of a man with a wolf head .
"Last time you saw it you were sobbing in my arms ..."
"What do you mean I saw it ?"
"We were in the crypts and you began to scream and cry and then you told me that this was chasing you .. Are you sure it tried to protect you ?"
"Yes . Or at least he didn't try to kill me . But I didn't felt threatened . More like .. Irritated and safe . "
"I thought you felt irritated all the time ."
"Especially in the morning so be careful … I used to dream of this when I was a child . But it was scarier than now .."
"I finished what you asked me . It's all the moments we shared . Or at least when I was around you . I hope it'll help you .."
"Uhm Robb ?"
"What ?"
"We haven't … You know ? "
"Oh gods no . No ! What's wrong with you ?"
"What ? You're an attractive boy so it'll be natural if .. You know . I can't believe we're having this conversation ..."
"You find me attractive ?"
"I never said that ."
"You just said it a second ago . You said I was an attractive boy . So you find me attractive !"
"Liar . Stop twisting my words !"
"I find you attractive too . I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen ."
"And how many women , outside of Old Nan and your mother have you seen ?"
"How funny . Would you like to take a breakfast with me later ? Then we could go for a ride in the wolfwoods . Don't say no . You can't stay here all your time . You're going to be crazy . I mean more crazy than you already are ."
"I still have work to do .."
"And I'll help you after . Come on Thess you need fresh air !"
"I can open the window .."
"Don't play smart with me .."
"Not playing anything .." she said , smiling as he cocked an eyebrow .
"So … If you don't come with me I will use my strength to bring your butt downstairs ."
"You should watch your language in front of a lady .."
"You told me you weren't a lady ! So ? Do you come willingly or do I need to use my well known strength ?"
"Fine ! Let me sleep a little more and dress and take a bath ."
"Perfect ! I see you for breakfast in three hours then ."
"Perfect … What are you waiting for ?"
"I'll take you to your room ."
"You don't trust me ?"
"I do trust you . But I know that right now you'll not leave this room until I take you by force . So let's go .."
Thessana sighed and put in order all her papers and hide them in several different books . Robb was waiting by the door , looking at her .
"You should really stop starring at people .. This is creepy . Really creepy . "
"I don't stare at people , only at you .."
"That's even more creepy . I should watch my back more often in case you're around ..."
"I am as invisible as the wind .."
"Yeah sure .. "
Robb pinched her nose and they left in the corridors . They passed by several maids , going to the kitchen or cleaning . Each one was smiling a them and giggling as young girls .
"Rumours are going to spread like melting snow… By breakfast all the castle will think that you and I are madly in love , ready to procreate little Starks .."
"Interesting ..."
"What ?"
"Nothing .."
"Tell me !"
"Nothing Stark ! This is my room . See you in three hours ."
"I'm going to count every second ..."
"Really ?"
"No I'm going to sleep actually .. Care to join me ?"
"You never stop right ?"
"Never .."
"The proposition is , Gods know , tempting but I pass .. For this time ."
"If you change your mind you know where is my room .."
"No I don't . And let's keep it like that for now .."
Thessana was writing a letter when a maid came in , smiling .
"Yes ?"
"I'm here to help you ."
"For what ?"
"For breakfast .."
"Oh .. No it's okay I can take care of myself , thank you though .."
"Are you sure ?"
"Yes . Can you just make sure that , for my breakfast , my eggs aren't overcooked and I want my bacon crispy ."
"Fine my lady ."
"Thank you very much .."
Thessana stood after the door was closed and yawned then stretched . She was dead tired and needed to clean herself . She loved the fact that despise being in the north , in the cold and snow , Winterfell had hot waters running inside their walls . She let herself go in the warm water of her bath , enjoying how it was soothing the ache in her muscles . Once clean she decided to wear a black gown , Frigga sent her from Asgard , with her cloak . The fur at the collar will keep her warm . After taking her gloves , she went downstairs , in the dining hall . Robb was there , reading a paper , Theon by his side .
"What is it ?" she asked , taking the seat on front of him .
"Just news from King's Landing . Stannis Baratheon is getting married ."
"Stannis isn't the king right ?"
"No , Robert is the king ."
"And you made quite an impression on him .." added Theon .
"What ? I spoke to King Baratheon ?"
"Yes . Robb wasn't there , he was still with the dwarves . I don't know what you two spoke about but he seemed to like you ."
"Do you know with who I spoke again ? "
"The Lannisters , the imp seemed to like you two . Cersei did not like you . "
"Enough of this , let's just eat for the moment . You promised to stop all these researches for today ." said Robb .
"He started it !"
"Thess ."
"Don't act as if you were my father , Stark . "
"Let's not fight here .."
"Then don't talk to me .."
Robb sighed as their plates arrived . Thessana started to eat in silence , not looking at him and he did the same .
"Thessana , how nice to see you with us !"
Catelyn kissed her hair and smiled at her .
"You look tired sweet one .."
"I'm fine Lady Stark . I just need fresh air . Fortunately Robb is taking me for a ride after .."
"Thanks Robb , how sweet of you !"
"It's nothing mother .. Have you heard for Stannis ?"
"His wedding ? Yes . It means that your father and I have to ride South to attend it . You'll stay here if it doesn't bother you ."
"I'll be pleased to stay here mother ."
"Thanks again my child .. I'm going to see where your father is hiding . Have a nice day you two .."
"Thanks Lady Stark ."
"So you are friends now ?" asked Jon , taking her to the stables .
"I stopped yelling at him at least ."
"That's a good start . You're going to take this one ."
She touched the dark horse with a smile .
"I like it ."
"Let me put the saddle on it . So I heard a maid this morning .."
"What did she say ?"
"That Robb and you spent the night together and he was sneaking out of your room , before the sun rose ."
"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard ! We spent the night in the library . And what a night ! I slept while he was working . "
"What about the sneaking out of your room part ?"
"He just walked me back to my room and left to his own room . This is incredible how a story can be transformed .."
"Ride it and tell me how do you feel ."
Thessana rode the horse and settled .
"I'm fine . Thanks Jon , I wonder what I would do without you . You've been a great friend .. "
"As I told you before you lost all your memories . I love you . You're like the sister I don't have . I'll do anything for you ."
"Oh Jon I'm going to cry .."
"Don't . Robb will think it's because you don't want to see him ."
"Thanks again Jon .. If you need anything , I'm here for you too okay ?"
"I know Thess . Enjoy your day .."
He winked at her and left the stabbles .
