A/N: I felt terrible for leaving our beloved characters the way I did and I knew some of you were going to be disappointed, so I'm here with a quick update!
Thank you to TakumaAngel, Jen Lennon, vaila, JessCullen95, neverest, EdgeOfGlory, kimber, Midnightstream-aboveyourgaze, NewtypeJuliet, KG-613, Mossyrock, and HarryPGinnyW4eva for taking the time to review. It really means so much to me. (And I'm sorry if I've missed anyone along the way...)
Hermione entered her room a little mad at herself for not telling Severus she was already willing to give all of herself to him. She knew she'd be lying to herself if she didn't admit she found everything about him endearing. She loved his confidence, and she loved even more that he wasn't nearly as confident inside as he appeared to be on the outside. The occasional flicker or glazing over of his eyes told her that. She loved the thoughtful little gifts and the way he'd placed his hand on her lower back when ushering her toward The Leaky Cauldron. She loved his all black look that suited him to a 'T', and she had the sneaking feeling she was going to love whatever lay beneath the black clothes.
The smile forming on her lips at her last thought quickly faded as she realized she might never get to actually see whatever lay beneath his clothes. Looking around her room and feeling oddly out of place, she took some pajamas from her dresser, changed, and crawled into bed while hoping she would quickly fall asleep.
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Severus did much the same, holding only to the feel of Hermione's fingers laced with his and her words that she was glad he'd gone with her. As he paced around his quarters, he wrestled with what exactly it was he was trying to accomplish by telling her what he expected. Was he really trying to prepare her, make sure she knew what she was getting into? Or was he subconsciously trying to push her away? His heart ached again at the thought and he ran a hand through his hair. He pulled a chair up to his fireplace and poured himself a firewhiskey, hoping the firewhiskey already running through his veins from earlier would quickly usher him to the darkness of sleep.
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Severus and Hermione seemed to be on different pages the whole next day. Severus didn't show up to breakfast, Hermione didn't show up to lunch, and Severus missed dinner. They never even ran across each other in the halls like usual. Hermione just hoped he hadn't forgotten about Marcus's detention. Nothing could spark Severus's rage like a student getting the better of him, and if it came from Marcus, Hermione was sure Severus would be hexing him five ways from Sunday.
Getting up from her dinner and already feeling anxious about knowing she was going to see Severus for the first time since their talk, Hermione was caught completely off guard when she felt Minerva's hand on her shoulder.
"Hermione dear, is everything ok?" she asked.
"Of course. Why do you ask?" Hermione said. It wasn't that things weren't fine, she was just ready to crawl out of her skin with anxiety.
"You just seem a bit distracted, and Severus seemed to be the same at lunch," Minerva explained.
Of course he goes to the one meal I don't attend, Hermione thought.
"Really, Minerva, everything is fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have detention with a student," Hermione said as she noticed Marcus was already gone from the Great Hall.
"Alright. Have a good evening," Minerva told her, not convinced something wasn't going on.
"Thank you. You as well," Hermione said as she began her trip to the dungeon.
###
"That is completely unfair! You did this on purpose!" Marcus protested.
"I hardly think how these cauldrons got dirty is relevant, Mr. Rike, but if you like I can cast a simple multiplying charm on them. Then you'll have twice or maybe three times as many to clean," Severus hissed at the student before him, his arms crossed as he looked down his nose, his face set in stone with something akin to hatred deep in his eyes.
Yes, he did do it on purpose. As planned, he had his last class brew something well out of their grasp, and Marcus was left with some of the most disgusting cauldrons Severus had ever seen. Add to his deep dislike for Marcus that he hadn't seen Hermione all day and Severus was extremely on edge. One false move from Marcus would leave Severus without a second thought about casting the multiplying charm he'd just threatened Marcus with.
"Do as he says or I will cast that multiplying charm," Hermione said from the doorway.
Not taking his eyes off the boy, Severus felt relief roll from head to toe at hearing Hermione's voice. He'd considered that she might not show up to the detention. Their interaction from the night before coupled with not seeing each other all day, intentional or not – he didn't know, had left him unsure about what this evening, or their future for that matter, would hold.
Seeing both teachers staring back at him, Marcus quickly got to work. He had no desire to spend all evening in the dungeons, especially if it meant he had to see the two teachers together.
Hermione watched as Marcus set to work, his wand perched in the corner of Severus's desk. Deciding she should also get to work, she took the student desk front and center to Severus's desk and sat down with the book she'd purchased the night before, some parchment, and a quill.
"Lesson plans?" Severus asked, standing two desks away.
She looked up at him, noticing he looked considerably sadder than she'd ever seen him.
"Yes," she replied lightly. "I thought I'd start with these Luck Charms." She gave him a knowing look, catching the beginning of a stifled smiled from him as she turned her eyes back to the parchment.
"A good choice," he said while walking past her toward the back of the room and feeling a little better at her allusion to their prior evening.
He'd noticed since Marcus got to work that he'd hardly kept his eyes off Hermione. So, Severus decided to make his way around the room under the ruse of checking on things and making sure they were all in order. He picked up a stray set of notes someone had left behind, rolling them up as he smoothly approached Marcus. The boy quickly snapped his eyes back to the cauldron in front of him as Severus approached, swatting him firmly over the head as he said, "Keep your eyes on the task at hand. If you find that to be too difficult, I can cast a simple and temporary – or permanent if your leering persists – blinding charm." He hit the boy in the back of the head once more for good measure, discarding the rolled up notes in a waste bin on the way back to his desk where he sat and ignored Hermione's amused glances.
Several minutes later, Hermione heard Marcus yelp. "I– I can't see!"
"I warned you, Mr. Rike," Severus drawled.
Hermione looked at him with wide eyes and said in a hushed tone, "Severus! You blinded him?"
He looked up at her, while carelessly flicking his wand in Marcus's direction, giving him his sight back. Eventually turning his eyes to the student as he asked, "I trust you understand my threat to be real?"
"Yes, sir," Marcus said, his eyes glued to the cauldron in his lap, not daring to even look in the dark professor's direction for fear that he might accidentally view Hermione in the process.
Severus turned his attention back to his desk without another look at Hermione, who simply shook her head and went back to her lesson plans.
A half hour of silence that was only interrupted by the clanging of cauldrons later, Hermione threw a piece of parchment at Severus.
He slowly drew his eyes to her, beyond annoyed that she would throw something at him rather than just saying his name to get his attention. When his eyes reached her, he saw she was holding up a piece of parchment that read:
Use Legilimency on me.
He tightly knit his brow together, having no idea why she would ask that of him. All he needed was a simple answer from her. He didn't need to go looking through her memories for proof. So, he simply shook his head no, leading her to hold up another piece:
I want to talk to you, but…
Seeing his beautifully dark eyes draw back to hers when he reached the end of her incomplete thought, Hermione jerked her head toward Marcus, indicating she didn't want him to hear.
Sighing, Severus looked in her eyes for a moment, and when he didn't see even a flicker of hesitation, he wordlessly entered her mind.
Hermione gasped slightly. She didn't hear or see him rifling through her memories, but she could feel him there, almost as if he were lingering on the edges of her mind, trying to respect her personal thoughts.
I have to say, he began, I have never had someone request for me to enter their mind. This is certainly a first.
Hermione smiled at him. Are you always so cautious when in someone's mind? Harry said you ripped through his memories like a worn book.
I was training him in Occlumency. This is merely a meeting of the minds, if you will.
Hermione laughed at his joke, causing Marcus to look shortly in their direction with a scowl.
I'd say your punishment is working wonderfully, Hermione, Severus thought with an unreadable expression while looking in the boy's direction. He's completely disgusted…
Hermione had no idea how to respond to that. Her mind remained blank as she only felt her response to Severus's statement.
Feelings are acknowledged in the brain as much as they are felt in the heart, Hermione, he told her as his eyes came back to hers. That heaviness in your chest is just as obvious to me as a spoken statement.
Feeling a new surge in her heart, she told him, He shouldn't be disgusted. He's just a teenager that has his eye on someone he can't have. It doesn't matter who he sees me with – he'd be disgusted with anyone.
Severus tilted his head to the side while considering her statement. I suppose so. What did you want to talk to me about?
How long do I have to wait to answer you?, she asked.
How ever long you deem necessary.
Hermione huffed. I would have answered you last night, but you wouldn't let me.
Severus looked her over for a moment. She looked confident, sure of herself and the answer she wanted to give. He looked down at the paper he was grading before saying, Have you thought it over?
Look at me!, she demanded.
Severus snapped his head up, shocked by the force of her words in his mind.
If I answer you now, will you accept my answer or will you write it off as youthful indiscretion?, she asked, her eyes demanding he not look away from her again.
Severus folded his hands in front of him with his elbows on the desk and his chin resting against his fingers. Let me ask you again – have you thought it over?
Yes, all last night and all day today; and my answer has not changed.
Severus sat back in his chair, now folding his arms in front of him and said, Tell me.
She sat tall, squaring her shoulders as she got lost in his eyes. She didn't want him to have a single reason to doubt what she was going to tell him. I want you. I want all of you – body, mind, and soul, and I am willing to give you the same in return. However –
Severus raised his eyebrows. There was no room for compromise within his requests.
I do not think we can rush the soul portion, the heart. I am ready and willing to share my mind with you, and you've already had my body.
Severus gave her a devilish look that set her ablaze.
I would love to go looking for that memory… he teasingly threatened.
Don't. You. Dare, Hermione warned him with a stern look.
I won't. Anything else you have to say?, he asked, bringing her back to topic.
Yes, as for the soul… she started.
There are no guarantees there. I know that, he interrupted. I just need to know you aren't entering into this with the aim to keep your heart out of it.
She shook her head, tenderly speaking into his mind, My heart is already involved, Severus.
Seeing no deception in her eyes and feeling the sincerity of her words, Severus silently slipped out of her mind, causing Hermione to whimper a little at the loss.
"I wasn't finished with you," she complained aloud.
He narrowed his eyes at her before casting his gaze toward the back of the room where Marcus was working away at the cauldrons and looking at them sideways at the sudden outburst of his Charms Instructor.
"Are you nearly finished or are you so incapable that a simple cleaning of a dozen cauldrons escapes you?" Severus barked at the boy.
Scowling at him, Marcus said, "I have two more after this one."
"Really, Mr. Rike? Perhaps you need to go back to some basic classes. It appears you are holding the last dirty cauldron."
Marcus looked to his left where the dirty cauldrons had been. "Wha- You! Did you move them? No, why would you do that? You just want to torture me! Did you clean them, Miss Granger?" he asked.
"No, Marcus. I assure you I did not help you clean those disgusting things," she said, a look of revulsion on her face.
"Well I don't care how it happened. I'm finished!" he exclaimed, quickly standing and heading for the door.
"Let me check your work," Severus said as he rose from his chair, grabbing Marcus's wand.
Hermione watched him with interested as he glided his way to the back of the room. He levitated each cauldron to him so he could look them over. She saw him grimace at a couple of them, but he said nothing.
"Get out," he instructed the student, "And I suggest you keep your hands to yourself, Mr. Rike, or I will not think twice about using that multiplying charm next time."
Marcus lowered his head, quickly snapping his eyes to Hermione and back again before saying, "Yes, sir," and bolting out the door.
Hermione pursed her lips saying, "How did he have two less cauldrons to clean than he thought?"
"I did not do that for him," Severus easily explained as he flicked his wand while casting cleaning spells over the cauldrons that left something to be desired.
"Oh?" she questioned from her desk as he slowly walked toward her again.
"No, I did it for me," he told her, leaning against the desk next to her.
"Again, oh?" she repeated herself.
He sank into the student desk he was leaning against and pulled the chair Hermione was sitting in toward him. He simply looked in her eyes for the longest time, leaving Hermione wondering if she was supposed to say something; but the silence was so comfortable and the view was so interesting. There was something that had always intrigued her about Severus Snape, but sitting across from him as he took her in was even more intriguing. What was he looking for? A grimace? A look of regret? Something to tell him everything she'd said was a lie? She was certain he'd felt her sincerity because of how he'd addressed the heaviness in her chest. So what was he looking for?
As if on cue, he reached out and cautiously ran his hand up then back down her thigh, his fingers lingering on her knee and causing her heart to pound in her chest with excitement.
She licked her lips and he watched her eyes dilate as she said, "I really want you," trying to explain her emotional want more than the physical, but knowing the latter was coming across loud and clear.
He pushed her chair back to its original position and silently stood from his, walking away from her and putting more distance between them than there had been since she'd entered his classroom that evening.
Hermione's heart fell. Was he pushing her away again? Had she come across too strong? She swallowed and bowed her head, unsure of what was happening. Why would he touch her like that and then just walk away?
Severus crossed the classroom and stopped at the entrance to his sleeping quarters, pausing with his hand on the door as he looked back at Hermione. She looked much the same as she had the day he'd given her the potion bottle – sitting tall with her head hung low, legs crossed at the ankles and hands in her lap, fiddling with her nails as she stared at them; and he again wondered what was going through her mind. That interaction had ended on a positive note; and he intended for this one to end positively as well.
"Hermione…"
Now that I've posted this, I'm not so sure this ending is any better than last chapter! What a cliffhanger, but at least it's a better one this time. ; )
