Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekazu.
Lukas went home that day feeling confident. After having relayed his plan to the three, they were on board with the idea immediately. They worked hard to get the next step of the plan in motion, and after Lukas got home later in the evening, he met up with Sally. They sat down for a few hours, Sally telling Lukas everything she had done with Maren and how she had been over the past month. He was delighted to hear that everything seemed to be in order, and that nothing major had happened to her while he had been away. Lukas then told Sally of what he had been doing that past month, and asked her if she wanted to be a part of the plan as well. She didn't hesitate to say yes, and Lukas filled her in on what they were planning to do.
He went to bed with a huge smile on his face and his chest surging with pride. He turned his head to his bedside table and grabbed his beloved swan. It had travelled with him to Helsinki and back, and he had done what he had done on the front, kissing its head before going to sleep. Lukas kissed it again that night, stroking its elegant neck and smiling at the thought of seeing his love that following afternoon.
'I'm home, darling,' he whispered in the darkness. 'Have faith… We're getting you and Emil out soon.'
.
The next day, Lukas was standing by his and Maren's little house, a bunch of dahlias in his hand instead of a rose—a handy piece of information he had gotten from Sally, as Maren had commented on how dahlias were her favourite flower at some point—and tapping his foot. He was feeling rather impatient, as he had missed Maren terribly while he had been working to get Tino out of prison. Much to his delight, he didn't have to wait long, for there was Maren now, coming up the path towards him. She had her head down and an old wicker basket hanging off her arm. Lukas looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to lift her head to see him instead of Sally standing there waiting for her.
As Maren walked, Lukas felt his chest surge with love. Just by seeing her, he felt the pieces of the huge puzzle that was his life fall into place. When she finally lifted her head, about a few metres away from where he stood, Lukas greeted her with a calm smile and the dahlias behind his back—as a surprise, of course! Her eyes landing on him, her expression formed into one of delight and a smile so large split her cheeks that Lukas' heart skipped a beat. She had become even more beautiful over the time they had been apart—or perhaps he thought that way because he hadn't been exposed to her beauty while he had been travelling.
'Lukas!' Maren cried, running up to him and embracing him tightly. Lukas didn't have time to return the gesture when she let go quickly. 'Wait, inside first.'
Without another moment's hesitation, the pair went up the little path to the door and entered; once the door had shut behind them and her basket had been put down, Maren returned to hugging Lukas. He hugged her back just as hard she was hugging him, with the arm that was not hiding the dahlias, losing himself in her smell—still like a bakery, fresh and warm and homely—and, pulling away, he kissed her lips firmly. He kissed her as if to make up for all the kisses he had missed while he had been gone; Lukas took his time in the way he moved his mouth against Maren's, and he sighed into the joint when he felt her hands cup his face.
Lukas was delighted to be home, and the kiss was one of the best he had had for a while.
Breaking apart softly, Lukas presented his love with the dahlias, and he couldn't help the toothy grin that quirked the corners of his mouth when her face lit up with happiness and as her eyes sparkled.
'Oh… they're beautiful!' She took the bunch from him and looked at him in scrutiny as she brought the flowers to her nose, albeit with a small smile gracing her lips. 'Is this an apology for your rapid departure? For leaving me for a month?'
Scratching his head sheepishly, Lukas replied bashfully, 'Yes… and also because I love you and wanted to get you something you liked.'
At that, Maren couldn't help the loud coo that escaped her mouth, and nor could she resist the urge to plant kisses all over Lukas' face. Lukas spluttered a lot at the action, very embarrassed as his cheeks went red… but he still couldn't wipe the smile off his face. God, had he missed her… He still felt terrible for leaving without letting her know, but hopefully once he revealed to her why he had done what he had, she would forgive him for his tardiness.
Looking down at the dahlias, Maren grabbed Lukas' hand and started moving towards the kitchen. 'I see you've been talking to Sally,' was what she said as they got to the pristine little room. 'She's been good company. We've talked about a lot of things.'
'I'm glad.' Lukas genuinely meant that, and he watched as she put the dahlias in the same vase as she had put the rose in that one time and as she arranged them. 'I really am sorry that I left as I did. It was an urgent matter.'
'So Sally told me. She's a sweet girl. Very kind. It was nice to have someone to talk to while you were away.' Maren glanced at him over the flowers. 'I don't suppose you're going to tell me where you've been and what you've been doing?'
'In due course, Maren.' He smiled at her while he walked up to her, then wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her gently. 'But first, I would like to see you and talk to you about other things than what I've been away for.' He brushed his mouth on her neck. 'I've missed you…'
Maren sighed by his ear and pressed her lips to his cheek. 'And I you, Lukas… We've got some catching up to do.'
'Indeed.' He brushed some hair from away from her eyes and cupped her cheek in his palm. 'Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?'
'Multiple times. But I don't believe you.'
Lukas raised an eyebrow at her lack of confidence, but before he could retort, he was surprised when Maren giggled to herself and said, 'Oh, Lukas Bondevik… do I have questions for you.'
'What kind of questions?' Lukas felt perplexed and he stared at Maren blankly.
Maren grinned wickedly, and Lukas decided that he did not like the mischievous glint she had in her eyes. 'Oh, just a few things Sally told me.'
Feeling his heart drop, Lukas thought frantically, what the hell did she say to her? Good god, I leave her for a month this happens… But what did Sally tell her? The thoughts were swept from his mind when Maren said casually, her tone airy and light, 'She mentioned a little something you two did in your younger years, about a year before you left for the war. You naughty thing, you.'
'She what?' Lukas' face paled rapidly. 'That… that was not for her to tell…'
Maren laughed loudly, the sound ringing in the kitchen. 'Lukas, darling, everyone experiments! There's nothing wrong with that! I did something similar with our kitchen maid before I ran away, and it was fantastic. Besides, I have a feeling you were going to tell me sooner or later.'
'Yes, but… in other circumstances…'
Lukas was mortified. He hadn't been sure of his sexuality at a young age, and neither had Sally. As a result, they decided to experiment and see if they were attracted to the opposite sex—the only way to ensure their attractions was to involve some rather… intimate actions. Lukas had planned to tell Maren, yes, but as he had been waiting for a more appropriate time to do so. Trust Sally to be a step ahead of me, as usual!
'It was nothing… that naughty… We didn't go very far, I assure you!'
Maren kissed his nose. 'You're cute when you're embarrassed.'
Lukas turned away and grumbled something under his breath. Then he muttered, 'Remind me to have a word with Sally when I get home.'
'Now, now,' Maren chastised, 'there's no need for that.' She came into his sight, having leant to the side to catch his eye. 'I made her tell me. I was curious. She seemed rather close to you, and she told me that you had known each other since she had started working for your family. She also told me that she had seen us at the dinner near the stairs.' Maren's expression turned thoughtful. 'She told me she liked me, too.'
Raising an eyebrow, Lukas asked, 'Who wouldn't like you, Maren?'
She blushed. 'Shut up… I'm nothing special. But I meant that she liked me in a… romantic sense. But when she found out about us, she thought that there couldn't be a better person for me out there other than you.'
Lukas stared at her vacantly. That explained a few things… But as the last few words sunk in, his cheeks went pink. 'I… I don't know about that, but it's nice to know that she thinks that…'
Placing her lips on his forehead, Maren told him that Sally was right, he was the best thing that had happened to her. They fell into a silence then, content with each other's presence in the kitchen. Maren popped out briefly to fetch her basket, and when she unpacked the items, Lukas found himself feeling surprised. Out of the several months since March, not once had Lukas seen Maren bring her sketchbook, or any of her drawing tools to their meetings. But as she unpacked the items, he felt a surge of an unknown emotion in his chest. She explained to him that Sally had been interested in seeing Maren's art after a conversation they had had the previous week. Maren had promised to bring her old sketches to show the young kitchen maid the next time they were to meet. Of course, neither of them had known that Lukas would be coming instead.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, Maren opened her sketchbook and flipped through the pages. Taking her lead, Lukas sat down opposite her and saw as she paused in the middle of the book. Her fingers stroked the page and, looking closer, Lukas' eyes went wide in recognition.
'Amazing… It's amazing how far we've come, isn't it, Lukas?' Maren held up the sketches she had drawn on the train an era ago, and Lukas was violently reminded of that trip to France. 'To think that we had no idea what was awaiting us…'
'Yes… yet here we are.'
Maren hummed and went back to turning the pages, landing on a page Lukas hadn't seen before. It looked like chaos, a mix of neat lines and scribbles trying to make sense of themselves.
'This was me trying to draw that night before we went to the Somme. Remember? In the inn?' She let out a short sound. 'I was so angry at myself that I couldn't be truthful with you. I tried to draw to get my mind off things but… I failed in that regard. My mind was filled with all these possibilities of us being happy together, yet every time I tried to draw a scenario, it ended up being a murky mess. I haven't drawn since then, believe it or not.'
Lukas flicked his gaze from the book to her face. Maren had her brow furrowed and her mouth was in a tight line. He reached over and took one of her hands, interlacing their fingers together and stroking the side of her hand with his thumb. She gave him a wry smile and lifted their hands to kiss Lukas' fingers. There was no need to say anything, as they both thought the same thing: that night had been the start of this mess.
Maren then picked up one of her pencils and opened to a new page. She didn't say anything as she started to draw, hesitantly at first, the sound of the scratching of lead on paper being the only thing they could hear. Lukas became fascinated in the way Maren drew, and he was in awe of how the strokes flew across the page and the image took form. He could make out that Maren was drawing him again: eyes closed, head tilted upwards and with his fringe falling across his forehead. He was always astounded as to how beautifully Maren drew him—he told her so, and said to her how unlike the real thing it was. She sent him a look and shook her head, telling him, 'You're just as beautiful as the first day I saw you, if not more so. If anything, my drawings don't do the real thing justice.'
Wondering if by the end of the day his face would remain red forever, Lukas averted his eyes from Maren's loving expression back down to the drawing. He then watched as Maren reached into her basket again and pulled out her misshapen nightingale, just as she finished the drawing of him. Placing it between them, pencil returned to paper as Maren started drawing the nightingale in the blank space by the drawing of Lukas' head. The bird was taking flight and Lukas' eyes drank in the sketch, taking in each detail, each fine stroke of lead. By the time Maren was done, the sketch was beyond anything Lukas had ever seen. He was embarrassed still of her earlier comment, but with the nightingale made almost real upon the page, he was amazed at her skill, and just how wonderful the picture looked altogether.
'Ah, that felt nice!' Maren sighed, grinning appreciatively at her own work. 'It's nice to be able to draw again! All thanks to you and Miss Sally.' She put down her pencil and gazed at Lukas deeply. 'I might bring this from now on… see what I can do with this newfound inspiration of mine. Is that alright?'
Lukas blinked at her blankly, then stood up from his seat, leant over and kissed her softly. 'That's not even a question you have to ask, my love. Of course you can, and not that you need permission from me in the first place.'
Maren smiled hugely and nodded in acknowledgement. She picked up the nightingale and held it up to her face, the blue shimmering with joy. 'I still love how you made this,' she said wistfully, turning the figure this way and that. 'I can see how much effort you put into it, and that makes it all the more special.'
'Well… I did try my best,' Lukas told her, shrugging, 'but it's clear that my skills don't lie in physical artistry. I work best with a pen and a notebook.'
She looked at him sharply. 'You write?'
'I… I mean, I dabble…'
'May I please read what you've written?' she asked excitedly, also standing up from her seat. Then her face faltered as she went on to say, 'I mean… if you want to…'
Turning away, Lukas mumbled, 'Of course… I'll bring my notebook next week… if you like…'
His cheeks were grabbed suddenly by Maren's palm and she kissed him. He bit his lip when she pulled away, and he felt his face grow red once again at the delighted expression she had form around her features. She's too adorable for her own good… he thought, finding himself grinning stupidly at the thought.
They were interrupted at the sound of the church bell ringing in the distance. Lukas glanced towards the kitchen window, listening as the bell rang once, loud and clear. He turned to Maren after he realised what the bell meant. It was time to put the next part of his plan in motion.
'Darling?' When she looked at him, Lukas continued with, 'About my trip… I'm afraid I have to show you rather than simply tell you. It's a lot to explain, but I'd rather show you first and then explain.'
Tilting her head to the side, Maren asked, 'Oh? How do you mean?'
Lukas took her hands in his. 'We're going to have to walk to a place in order for me to show you.' He licked his drying lips. 'Is that alright?'
He saw her hesitate for a moment, before she swallowed and said, 'Going anywhere with you is fine, as long as it's not dangerous.'
'Oh, I promise you, Maren,' Lukas told her, grinning. 'It's anything but dangerous. Trust me.'
.
As they walked the streets of London towards Lukas' mystery destination, Maren would not stop asking him questions. She was determined to get an answer as to where they were going, what was the meaning behind his trip and just exactly what was going on. Lukas remained as tight-lipped as possible, as he didn't want to spoil the surprise—not that he told her that, merely sending her furtive looks and making a show of zipping his lips.
Along the way, there was the odd occasion where Maren would drag Lukas into an abandoned alleyway in order to steal a kiss or two. Lukas could tell that this new thing of them being out in the open together was exciting and daring, and no doubt Maren was tempted to push the boundary just a little bit further. No doubt she was still afraid of being caught, but the thought of her being safe and comfortable around Lukas in order to do such a thing made his heart soar. But her actions didn't just stop at kisses: she constantly brushed their hands together, would grab his elbow and point to something in the distance excitedly—be it someone's pet dog or a pretty garden in front of someone's house—and would send him large smiles that held the radiance of the sun that beat down on their heads.
When they reached the front door of the house that belonged to their destination, where Lukas had guided her to, Maren gave him a confused look.
'Lukas, where are we?'
Lukas waved a casual hand. 'You'll find out in just a moment.'
He knocked on the door promptly, and it wasn't even a full minute when the door opened and in the doorway stood the thin, wiry, silver-haired butler of the house.
'Ah, Mister Bondevik,' he greeted, nodding in Lukas' direction. He bowed towards Maren as well and said, 'Lady Hexley. They've been expecting you both. I'll take you to the drawing room. They're waiting for you in there.'
'Thank you, Mister Smith.'
Taking Maren's hand, Lukas guided her into the house, following the butler through the peach-walled corridors. Maren was whispering, 'What is going on, Lukas?' on the way, but Lukas left her question unanswered, just as he had done with the others. They reached the door to the drawing room soon enough, and Mister Smith knocked twice on it, opened it and said into the room beyond Maren's and Lukas' visions, 'Mister Bondevik and Lady Hexley have arrived.' He stepped aside in order to let them in with a sweep of his arm. Lukas glanced at Maren, smiled softly and gestured for her to go in first.
Her expression remained baffled as she went in front of Lukas and entered the drawing room. Lukas went in after her, coming just in time to hear a loud gasp be ripped from her throat. Shutting the door behind him, Lukas watched as Maren covered her mouth with her palm and as her eyes went wide as she drank in what was in front of her.
Or, rather, who was in front of her.
Lukas had taken her to Berwald's manor, as he had promised Berwald he would when he had met him the previous day. He saw that Genevieve and Tino were in the room as well, but the attention was solely focused on the siblings, who were gaping at each other in shock and in relief. Upon the sight of her brother, Maren could only say, 'Berwald? Is that really you?' before they dashed towards each other and embraced each other so tightly Lukas wondered if they would ever let go. They cried silently into each other's necks, Maren whispering nonsense in Danish to her older brother. Lukas watched them with a soaring heart, happy that things were finally starting to look up.
He had just finished greeting Genevieve and Tino when the siblings pulled apart, smiling tearfully at each other. Berwald briefly wiped his eyes from under his glasses before saying, 'It's good to see you, Maren. Truly…'
'It's good to see you too, big brother,' Maren said to him, gripping his hands.
Berwald's stern façade melted away into nothing but pure happiness. He turned to the other three in the room and held out an arm. 'Let me introduce you. This is my wife and friendly companion, Genevieve. Genevieve, this is my sister, Maren.'
As the ladies shook hands, Maren with a huge smile on her face and Genevieve gushing over how pleased she was by finally meeting her, Lukas couldn't help the little smugness that grew inside his chest. Tino then stepped in and took Maren's hand gently.
'It's a pleasure to meet you at last, Maren. Berwald has told me a lot about you.'
Maren's face formed into one of confusion, but she shook Tino's hand nonetheless. 'It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mister…?'
'Ah! My apologies.' Tino grinned hugely at her. 'I'm Tino Väinämöinen. I think Berwald's mentioned me?'
Frozen, Maren's jaw slackened. She looked over to Lukas, then back to Tino, then to Berwald, then back to Tino, and muttered, 'You… But you were in prison! How…?'
Tino frowned. 'Lukas didn't tell you? He got me out of there! Came in like a hero, told the officials that they were holding me there illegally and freed me.'
Maren became speechless: her eyes were round in shock and her features painted with an expression of awe. She turned to Lukas slowly, still unable to believe what she was hearing. 'You went to Finland?'
Lukas smiled. 'I did.'
All Maren could do then was laugh. She laughed and went up to Lukas, kissing him so powerfully that he nearly fell over.
'You are insane! You're insane, you're officially insane!' She continued laughing, all the while wiping away tears of what Lukas could only identify as happiness. 'You went all the way to another country, to free someone whom you have never met in your life and brought him back home to be with my brother? You insane, crazy, wonderful man.'
She then sent him a look, and Lukas knew that she was going to ask that same question, the fourth time Lukas had heard it since he had gone to meet with Tino in the prison. He was ready to answer it, but at the same time, there were butterflies in his stomach. He licked his lips and fiddled with his fingers as he gazed deeply into Maren's puzzled face, watching as her mouth formed the question.
'But why?'
Lukas glanced at the others, coming to a silent agreement with them via a quirk of eyebrows and slight inclinations of heads. It was time to tell Maren the plan. He gently squeezed her hands in his and stared deeply into her eyes.
'Perhaps we better sit down, dear.'
As everyone found themselves a seat in the drawing room—Genevieve, Tino and Berwald on the couch, and Lukas on the arm of the chair Maren had sunk into—Maren gazed curiously at them all, but mostly at Lukas. Swallowing, Lukas steeled himself, banished his nerves and smiled tenderly at his love.
'I went to Helsinki to free Tino because I didn't want him and Berwald to have to suffer what you and I are suffering…' he began, 'and also because I have a plan. I thought that if I brought Tino back to England, back to be with Berwald, that I would gain their trust in order for them to help me with something. Then I discovered the situation with your brother and Genevieve, and I thought, "Great, that's another person that can help me," and we've discussed the plan… We've come to a decision: Genevieve, Tino and Sally are going to be key players in all this, considering Berwald and myself are compromised.'
'Compromised? In what, Lukas?' Maren looked a little afraid. 'What have you got planned?'
Deciding to take her hands in his, Lukas squeezed them softly, his eyes going from her smooth hands to her mystified eyes. 'We're getting you out. You and Emil. Hopefully if all goes well, you'll be seeing the back of Hexley in the next couple of months, and you and Emil will be free.'
He felt Maren stiffen under his palms. Her eyes were round once more and they darted to each person in the room.
'You're not serious.'
'I'm dead serious.'
'We're getting you out, Maren,' Berwald told her gently. 'As Lukas said, Hexley knows us both, me because of us being related, and Lukas because they've met, as you've told me. But he doesn't know Tino, Genevieve or Sally. They'll be undetected.'
'Undetected how?' Maren asked. 'I don't understand.'
Tino cleared his throat and clasped his hands together. 'The three of us put in job applications to Hexley manor yesterday. We're awaiting confirmation, but once we've been confirmed, Genevieve will be your lady's maid, I'll be Hexley's new valet and Sally will be working in the kitchens. We'll be your eyes and ears on the inside. If and when Hexley makes any moves on you, we'll record it as evidence and once we have enough, we'll be going straight to the police and lodging it as domestic abuse.'
'I know how uncomfortable you are with the whole dressing and undressing thing,' Genevieve went on in a calm voice when Maren opened her mouth. 'I'm there as a… how do you call it? A disguise, a mirage if you will. It's only an act. So don't worry, all shall be as normal.'
'I'll keep seeing you on Fridays, so that won't change,' Lukas added, delicately stroking Maren's hair. 'If you like, we can come and visit Berwald as well, and get updates that Genevieve and Tino will be giving him.' He tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. 'You'll be free.'
Maren said nothing at first, gazing at everyone with a stunned expression on her face. Then she said, very quietly, 'You can't seriously be accepting this? Do you know how powerful Hexley is? He'll crush you the minute you report anything to the police!'
'Which is why we're going to be doing this over the course of a few months,' Tino said to matter-of-factly. 'It's gonna take a while, but we'll get there. Hexley doesn't know of me or Genevieve—he won't be able to trace us back to Berwald or to Lukas. Sally as well—she'll be going under a different name just like the both of us.' His eyes darkened and his mouth went into a thin line. 'If he tries to hurt you to the point of oblivion, we'll step in and do something—'
'No!'
Looks of shock were thrown Maren's way at her outburst. She looked panicked, her eyes blown wide and fingers trembling in her lap. She shot Lukas a brief glance before transferring it to the three sitting in front of her. She breathed in deeply and whispered, making the others hang onto her every word.
'No. Since you're doing this—and I know that I can't say no, considering how invested you are in this already—I have a couple of conditions. If you're going to blend in with the rest of the staff, you do not talk to me. You don't step in when he's hurting me. You don't engage with me unless you really must. If Hexley, his mother or any of the staff suspect that you're helping me, you'll be kicked out and I don't want to know or think about what they may do to you as a result. You have to remain loyal to him. You can't give yourselves away, do you understand? No matter how… badly he hurts me, or however loud I'm screaming, you do not step in. You believe the stories the staff tell you, pretend that you loathe me and that I deserve everything that's coming to me.'
Lukas' heart broke. Glancing at the others, their expressions spelt everything he felt. Their faces were as if someone had slapped them, and Lukas certainly felt as if he had been slapped. It hurt him that this was the extent to which their power in the Hexley manor was of any worth, but Maren was right. They had to do everything by the book, otherwise it would have all been for nothing. They needed to get Maren and her son out no matter what, even if it meant following the rules set by the Hexley family.
'Maren…' Genevieve sniffed, on the verge of tears. 'There must be something we can do on the inside that will prevent him from laying his hands on you.'
'I'm afraid there isn't.' Maren smiled wryly at her. 'The staff will come onto you like vultures if they so much as sniff a hint of loyalty towards me. I am the enemy in that house. So treat me like one.'
No one said anything more on the subject after that. They delved into conversation amongst themselves, mostly with Berwald and Maren catching up in person and Maren getting to know Tino and Genevieve. Lukas and Maren left the house that day in high spirits, and the gratitude Maren had shown everyone upon their departure was enough to tell Lukas that they were doing the right thing.
Maren and Emil were going to be free.
.
August
.
The summer was nearing its end, but the heat was lingering just a little longer in London. But while the summer was coming to a close, Lukas' plan was not.
Over the past month, Genevieve, Tino and Sally had been working under Hexley manor's roof. The stories the three had brought back to Berwald's whenever they had the chance to visit made both his and Lukas' bloods boil in outrage. During that month, Lukas had found out more from Genevieve, Sally and Tino than what Maren had told him since March. He understood that Maren could only stomach to tell him the surface of what was happening to her in that house, but at the same, he wished he had known the facts sooner.
Whenever Hexley wasn't using his hands to beat Maren black and blue, he pinned her against a wall and touched her everywhere openly. He also yelled such awful slurs at her that Genevieve found it very hard not to openly cry for her, and Tino found it extremely difficult not to do something to Hexley for every single thing he did to her. Hexley's mother would simply stand by and watch her son treat his wife terribly, making comments about how it was her duty to serve the Hexley household and family name, not having a single care for Maren's wellbeing. The household staff were not much better. They treated Maren like she was the scum of the earth, pointing their noses to the sky whenever they were in her presence, and the nurse who took care of Emil would especially remark loudly about how Maren was a terrible mother and wife.
But the three had managed to keep their acts up.
Lukas had still seen Maren every Friday, and when they were together, he hadn't brought up anything the others had told him or Berwald. She had started to bring her sketchbook to each meeting, and Lukas had kept his promise of bringing his own little notebook of his works. He had been highly embarrassed when she had begun to read them, commenting on how lovely his writing was as she went along. When she had landed on the most recent poem he had written, Maren had frozen when her eyes had landed on the title. Lukas had told her that he had written it a couple of weeks ago, while he had been in Helsinki and when he had been missing her the most.
The title had been Maren.
The pair had visited Berwald twice during the month, and after they had visited Berwald the second time, Maren had told Lukas whether or not it was wise to call the whole thing off. She had mentioned to him that Hexley had become suspicious over her sudden taking of a lady's maid—especially given her issues with having anyone come near her when getting dressed—and he was suspicious of Tino as well, for whatever reason. Lukas had reassured her to keep going, they were so close, and Maren had dropped the subject after having had several arguments with him after that visit.
He knew that she was afraid of being caught. But Lukas had faith in Genevieve, Tino and Sally, and he had faith in Maren, if in no one else. He was determined to see the whole thing through. Maren and Emil were getting out of that house.
Out of the three, only Sally had remained undetected thus far. At least, that was the case that Hexley manor—her absence at Björnstad House hadn't gone unnoticed by Lady Bondevik. His answer upon her asking where Sally had gone had been that she had received news of a family issue out of the city and had had to go immediately in order to sort it out. She hadn't believed him at first, but had finally accepted the story after a couple of days.
One day during the last few weeks of August, Lukas was at Berwald's. They had become close over the past month, and Lukas had been grateful for his company. He had learnt a fair bit about the man, and he thanked his lucky stars that Maren had him as a brother—he was so understanding and just as determined as Lukas that he couldn't have asked for anyone better to keep him sane throughout the lengthy months to come. That Thursday afternoon, the pair were waiting for the next lot of news to come their way.
Lukas was feeling restless for some reason; he couldn't keep still, so he walked around the room to get his energy out and put to good use. It wasn't long until the door of the drawing room opened and in came Genevieve. Looking at her, Lukas saw that she was close to tears, and that alone made everything in his body stop functioning.
Is Maren okay? Is she hurt? Did Hexley do something much worse to her this time?
Berwald greeted his wife and told her to sit down, sitting down himself. Lukas joined them and waited with bated breath to hear the latest, and to make sure that his thoughts were untrue. Genevieve's good-natured face was tight with disapproval, and her gloved hands were clasped tightly in her lap.
'God, I hope we can do something soon,' she told them sternly, her brow furrowed. 'Hexley is such a monster and the staff are just cruel! I found one of the maids this morning putting itching powder in Maren's clothes! It took me half the day just washing them all and now my hands are all red from scratching them!' She ripped off her gloves and showed them both the reddened, patched skin of the backs of her hands. 'Tino is beside himself with worry—I'm worried he's going to act upon his anger one of these days and do something to Hexley. Would you believe that the monster forced himself on Maren again last night?' Genevieve let out something close to a sob. 'Poor thing was screaming at him to leave her alone for hours. I don't want to think about it…'
She let out a bitter laugh and after the words sunk in, Lukas was in two minds to get himself over to Hexley manor, whisk Maren and Emil away and beat Hexley up to the point of unrecognition. Unfortunately, Lukas couldn't act on his emotions, for if he did, everything they had worked so hard to achieve would be ruined, and Genevieve was not finished.
'He's a bloody hypocrite… The reason he forced himself on her was because he wants another son! He doesn't interact with Emil at all… He refuses to let her see her own child and he, himself, doesn't see him at all! Some father…'
'I understand your anger, Genevieve,' Lukas whispered, 'but be careful.'
She sighed heavily. 'I know. I hate it, but I know. How much longer does this need to go for? How many more beatings? Rapes? Other horrible things? It's been nearly a full month!'
'Until we have enough evidence,' Berwald muttered distastefully. 'The police and the court are not going to rely on mere talk, Genevieve, nor are they simply going to make a case because a woman is being "disobedient" to her husband. It's sad that our society is like this, but it's going to take a lot of hard evidence to make something of this, something that we can physically show. I hate to say this, but the only way they're going to believe us is if something horrible happens to Maren, and I mean horrible.'
Lukas gaped at him. 'What the hell do you mean?'
Berwald glanced at him. 'If he tries to kill her, for example. Or if he beats her to the point of unconsciousness—something that will bring in a third party, be that an officer or a doctor, someone who can see the damage and provide a testimony in court.'
He didn't like it, but Lukas knew that Berwald was right. He had known it from the beginning… but he had hoped that it wouldn't have had to come to that. Lukas could see that Genevieve didn't like it either with the way her expression turned into one of despair, but what were they to do other than what they were already doing? They had to play it by ear after all. One wrong move and it all would have been for nothing.
Genevieve chose to stand up, and the men followed her example. 'I better get back before they notice I'm gone. Tino will fill you in next week… I can't bear to give you the details.'
'It's alright, Genevieve,' Lukas told her gently, squeezing her shoulder. 'We understand.'
She gave them a forced smile and a hug before leaving, shutting the door with a soft click. Lukas ran his hands over his face and sighed into them. He hated hearing how Maren was being treated, but he thanked god for the small miracles that were Tino, Genevieve and Sally.
'You seeing Maren tomorrow?' Berwald asked him then, drawing him out of his thoughts. He lifted his head from his hands and nodded. 'Don't bring her here. There are people coming over and I don't want them to get suspicious or to get ideas—or worse, report to Hexley.'
Lukas frowned. 'What kind of people?'
Berwald grunted in annoyance. 'God if I know. They want to see the house for whatever reason, but I want to play it safe. Just in case…'
'Noted.' Lukas huffed loudly and angrily. 'God, I want to kill him.'
'You and me both.' Lukas watched as Berwald's eyes flashed behind his glasses and as his hands clenched into fists against his thighs. 'How dare he hurt my sister? I'll give him something to remember once we get her out of there.'
'Likewise,' Lukas muttered, glaring at a spot on the floor. 'He won't know what's coming.'
Nothing more was said. Lukas left the house an hour later with a half-hearted farewell and began making his way home. He wondered what he was going to do with Maren tomorrow. He found himself wanting to surprise her with something, but then remembered that it was safer if they weren't seen together in public. Taking her to see Berwald was risky enough as it was. Sighing heavily, Lukas tried to rack his brain for something to do…
.
At noon the next day, Lukas watched as Maren came towards him and forced a smile at the sight of her. Genevieve's words from yesterday had been replaying in his head all night and day, haunting his dreams, and he had been afraid to see just how badly in shape Maren was. But she seemed to look fine, and when they entered the house, he let himself be overwhelmed by her presence. As soon as the door had shut, Maren leant forward to kiss him. Her kisses were softer than usual—not that Lukas minded for he loved kissing Maren in every shape and form, not that he would ever admit it aloud—and her touch more delicate, as her fingers merely grazed the lines of his jaw. It was the kind of touch that left Lukas wanting more.
'Hello, darling,' Maren greeted, taking his hand in hers.
Lukas kissed her again and then mumbled into her neck, 'Hello.'
She laughed quietly, and the sound made Lukas feel a little bit better.
After taking off their shoes, they made their way through the house. Lukas went in the direction of the kitchen, ready to resume the creative activities they had been indulging in the past couple of weeks, only to be pulled back by Maren. He looked at her curiously and she smiled at him.
'Not today, Lukas,' she said. 'I just want to relax with you today.'
She started steering him towards the bedroom. They lay down on the bed without a word, cuddling close to each other as if it was their second nature. Lukas allowed himself to close his eyes and to take in the smell of her hair as she made herself comfortable against his side. They were silent for a moment, and Maren wrapped her arm around Lukas' waist and nuzzled her cheek into his neck. Lukas had always loved the intimacy he shared with her, and he felt privileged to be able to be anywhere near such a beautiful creature as her, despite the circumstances they were currently in. All the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind seemed to dissolve just by her being there. Still with his eyes closed, Lukas stroked the arm that was around his waist with his fingertips. He could hear Maren's breathing, and the sound and the warmth pressed up against him was just enough to make him want to fall asleep…
'Lukas?'
He hummed in response.
'May I ask you a question? It's a bit personal, but… I would like to know. It's been on my mind for a bit.'
He hummed again, eyes still closed and fingers still drawing patterns on Maren's arm.
'Have you… um…' Lukas heard her hesitate for a second longer. 'Have you ever made love, Lukas?'
Lukas' eyes flew open at the question. He turned his head to look down at her and saw that a sheepish expression had formed itself on her face. He had not been expecting that question to fly out of her mouth.
'Why do you ask?'
'Just curious…' she mumbled and Lukas frowned. He knew it was more than that, but he didn't push her.
'Not exactly,' he answered softly, closing his eyes again and going back to tracing her arm. 'I haven't made love with anyone but… I have slept with other people. Not Sally, before you say anything,' he added quickly and he felt Maren laugh softly against him.
'I wasn't going to,' she replied, snuggling closer—if such an act was already possible—and pressed her lips to his throat. 'May I ask who? It's obvious that Hexley has been the only person that I've been… you know… and the kitchen maid back in the day.'
Lukas glanced down at the top of her head. 'You slept with the kitchen maid?'
'Yes I did.' He felt Maren smile against his skin. 'It was great. Too bad I never saw her again. She got dismissed during the war—god knows why. But it was quick and very clumsy—neither of us were very experienced, but god did she know how to use her fingers. But don't change the subject, Lukas.'
He swallowed. He wondered where Maren was going with this…
'It was about six months after you left,' he told her slowly, thinking deeply before speaking as he tried to dig the memory out of his mind. 'There was a boy there, a little older than me, French. Said he didn't want to die a virgin.' Lukas laughed emptily. 'He told me I was cute. So I thought, "What the hell, make the guy happy." So yeah, we had sex together. Painful at first, but enjoyable nonetheless. But that was sex, not making love—so to answer your question, no, and I've never slept with a woman.'
Maren lifted her head up at that and stared at Lukas in confusion. 'Never?'
'Never.'
'But…' Maren let out a short sound. 'What about that French woman?'
Lukas blinked blankly at her. 'French woman?'
'At the inn… in Amiens…' Maren sent him a look. 'The one who took you upstairs?'
His blood went cold. He had forgotten about his little moment with Marie, and the guilt he had felt that night came rushing back. Lukas hadn't realised that Maren had seen them going up, nor did he realise that she had gotten upset over it. The guilt returned tenfold and he sighed deeply. The truth had to come out, because nothing had happened with Marie—at least, not what Maren was thinking.
'Marie was a mistake,' Lukas whispered, shifting in order to gaze deeply into Maren's eyes. 'Nothing happened between us, I promise. I was so sure I had ruined our friendship by confessing to you that I wanted to forget it had ever happened. At least that's what I felt subconsciously—I didn't go with Marie asking for sex or anything of the like explicitly… nor was I aware that I was doing it implicitly. Marie was looking for something more, that was obvious, but I was too blind to see it straightaway. It was only a kiss, nothing more. I regretted it immediately… I felt as if I betrayed you. I still do…'
Maren stared at him. 'So… you didn't—?'
'No.' He shot her a stern look. 'I promise you that.'
She blew out a long breath. 'And here I was, this whole time, thinking you had gone upstairs with her to sleep with her.'
'I almost did, I admit…' Lukas bit his lip. 'But as soon as I realised what I was doing… how much I would hurt you in the process, and how much I was lying to myself, I stopped. I ran out of that place like it was made of fire.' He looked at Maren and cupped her cheek in his palm. 'I'm sorry for giving you the wrong idea.'
Sending him a small smile, Maren returned to her spot in between Lukas' neck and shoulder. Lukas was pondering if Maren had brought up the topic to confirm his tryst with Marie. Looking back upon it now, Lukas felt very foolish for his actions.
There was a moment's pause before Maren spoke again. 'I took it the wrong way… I'm sorry for doubting you. I just… wondered what it's like to be made love to… Must be nice. I thought you might have known, considering the French woman. But as it stands… we're alike.'
'Indeed…'
Another moment later, Maren surprised Lukas when she sat up and gazed at him seriously. Puzzled by her sudden urgency, Lukas sat up as well, taking her hands in his and raising an eyebrow in silent query. Her eyes darted all over the place, not once landing on his face, and she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She glanced at him once, twice, then three times before she opened her mouth, closed it, then growled out in annoyance.
'I…' She laughed briefly. 'You'll think me mad for this, but I want to ask you something… again.'
Lukas squeezed her hands. That act alone made her relax under Lukas' palms.
'Forgive me for being forward, but I need to say this.' She sucked in a breath. 'Lukas, I… I want us to… I want us to be each other's firsts.'
Whatever Lukas had been expecting to hear, it hadn't been that. His eyes widened and he saw Maren's hopeful expression falter. Is she… is she saying what I think she's saying?
'I know you think me nuts,' she went on quickly, 'but hear me out. I'm petrified of Hexley. Utterly terrified of the man, and whenever he comes anywhere near me, I want to cry and scream and run away. The mere thought makes me sick. Ever since that first night he lay with me, I vowed to myself that I would never lay with another person. I thought I was forever scarred.
'But then I realised something. That something involved you, Lukas. You make me feel safe. Whenever I'm with you, I want to do things with you. What normal couples do, you know? I thought myself an idiot when the idea of being intimate with you came into my mind, especially considering everything I've been through with Hexley.
'But see, Lukas, that's the thing. I don't want to run away anymore.' Her eyes flashed with determination, a kind that made Lukas freeze on the spot and hone his hearing in order to catch every detail. 'I don't want to be afraid of this. I… I want to try and be brave, for once in my life. I trust you with my entire being. You proved yourself worth of it a long time ago. I haven't been ready, but I think I'm starting to become so… and—and I want to know if you're on board with this.'
Lukas didn't know what to say at first. He merely gaped at his love, unable to believe his ears.
'Are… are you sure, Maren?' he asked her, shaking his head in alarm.
'Yes.' She nodded several times, as if to reassure herself more so than Lukas. 'I am very sure. I trust no one more than you, and… I want this, Lukas. I want you… and I want to at least try, if nothing else.'
His mind was racing. Lukas licked his lips and sighed several times before saying, 'I will help you in any way I can… But Maren… I want you to know something before we do anything, yes?'
Maren nodded, blinking owlishly at him. It was a huge thing that Maren wanted to do, and by god, Lukas wasn't one to tell her no. He wanted that kind of intimacy with her as well… but he was worried. He had seen the effect Hexley's and her family's abuse had taken upon her the past couple of years. He knew that this was something that couldn't be cured in the space of a month. Hell, Lukas was still recovering from the years of warfare, loss and horror he had been through on the frontline. While his nightmare was had ended, Maren was still living hers, and every day at that. But he could see that she really wanted to do this, so he wanted to make one thing very clear.
He brought their joined hands into his lap. 'I can see that you're resolute to attempt this. I want to lay this on the table before we try anything. This… this isn't something that can be easily overcome, especially for you, I know that. So… what I'm trying to say is this: don't feel as if you have to force yourself. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, you tell me and we'll stop straightaway. If you find yourself unable to go through with it, tell me and we'll stop. We go at your own pace… Please know that. I don't want you to get hurt.'
The air went still. Maren gawked at him and she slowly started to shake her head. When Lukas gave her a bemused expression, she sighed and removed her hands from his.
'I… I don't understand it half the time, you know?' When Lukas remained blank, she went on to say, 'Why you chose me. I'm a broken piece of nothing. I'm married, I'm a mother, I'm a hopeless case… and yet, you're still here. You're still here, telling me I'm beautiful when I'm not, loving me when you could be loving someone else… and now you go and tell me this? Lukas, I just don't understand. There are so many other people out there whom you can love, and who could love you back, who you can actually live with, do things with—not hide behind four walls! Why, why are you wasting your time on me?'
Lukas blinked. Where did all of this come from? Maren, you're… darling, you're wrong. Unable to find his voice, Lukas leant forward and kissed Maren powerfully, so much they fell into the pillows, Maren with a squeal. Pulling apart, Lukas smoothed her cheeks and then kissed her again, just as strongly, grinning inwardly when she kissed him back with the same vigour.
'You want to know why?' he whispered, staring at her intensely when they parted again. 'I'll tell you why. Because there is no other woman or person whom I feel more love for than you. Get that into your head, Maren—I love you. I love you more than I can ever tell you or show you—hell, even write for you! But, by god, do I love you. You… You're on my mind constantly and you make me feel things I've never felt before in my life. Everything you've said about yourself—you're wrong.' He held her face in his palms, treating her as if she was made of glass. 'You're enticing. You're everything. You are beautiful—your scars and bruises, everything that you hate about yourself, I love. You're perfect to me in every way, and don't you forget it.'
He kissed her again, harder than before, and he felt her sigh against his lips, her fingers trembling in his hair as they raked through it. But Lukas wasn't done.
'You are not a waste of my time. Never. There is no one else I'd rather be with, Maren… You are my everything.' He rested their foreheads together. 'And god… I want to make love to you, I do. But above all that, I want you to feel safe. I want you to know that you are safe with me no matter what we do or what happens in our lives. I want to you to feel loved, because you are loved, especially by me. I can't live without you.'
Lukas' voice cracked at the end, too overwhelmed with emotion to continue. But that was all it took for Maren to burst into tears. She was smiling, laughing and crying all at once. She took Lukas' cheeks and brought him forward into a bruising kiss, kissing him thoroughly, lovingly, and Lukas returned the emotions tenfold. It was not often that Lukas put his heart on his sleeve, but today was the day he decided to let himself go. Maren needed to know how much he loved her, despite his love for her being beyond words. He let himself be kissed over and over again by Maren, his heart in his throat and his lungs constricting behind his ribcage.
God… if a bullet didn't kill him on the front, he was sure his love for Maren would.
'Lukas…' They parted and Maren gazed up at him with glassy eyes. 'I don't know what to say…'
'You don't have to say anything, my love,' Lukas told her firmly, stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. 'Just know that I mean everything I say, and that it's all true. Please remember that, my darling.'
She laughed, nodding, and Lukas smiled fondly at her, kissing her pretty lips once more. Then she sat up once again, taking Lukas with her, and said boldly, 'Very well. I will remember those words forever. But Lukas… I don't want to wait. I want to do this now, but not here.'
Lukas spluttered as Maren got up from the bed and pulled him to his feet. She smiled something fierce and Lukas felt his face growing red when she leant forward and whispered in his ear. He gaped at her in shock, then smiled like he had never smiled before.
They ran out of that house, their destination being Lukas' bedroom at the Bondevik manor. They ran through the streets, up the stairs to the front door, up the large staircase to the upper floor—once Lukas had checked that there was no one around, and there shouldn't have been as his parents were out in town for the whole day and wouldn't be returning until late in the evening—and into Lukas' bedroom. He shut the door behind them, locked it shut and turned to face Maren.
She was huffing and puffing, her chest rising and falling rapidly. They stared at each other for a few moments, simply standing there. Then, in a single, unblinking move, they rushed to each other and kissed each other so passionately Lukas saw stars. He was shaking, but he was ready.
He was going to show Maren what it was like to be made love to.
To be continued...
