I got a review saying that it's actually not called a sandal hat... But since I don't know what to really call it, I hope you'll understand what kind of hat I'm talking about. It's Urahara Kisuke's hat, only it's white where it should be green and it's orange where it should be white. I've gotten so many good reviews... Oh, my... I can... I can feel the love! It's... It's inspiring me! I AM INSPIRED! I WILL WRITE FAST FOR YOU ALL, MY LOYAL READERS! I SWEAR TO YOUTH! I WILL FINISH THE CHAPTERS FASTER! YOSH! SENJU UZUMAKI NAMIKAZE 'THE GAMBLER' NARUTO WILL LIVE ON IN TRUE URAHARA KISUKE STYLE! YAAY!! (Applause) COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! (More applause) I LOVE YOU ALL! (Everyone reading runs up and hugs me while chewing on chocolate chip cookies)

Seriously though. I need to address this anonymous DD person. You don't have to call it a piece of crap, or shit or whatever the hell you called it (I couldn't see, because that particular evil, evil word was censored). So please, if you don't like the fic, leave and don't leave such useless reviews! I would've appreciated some constructive criticism. And you're a chicken if you don't even leave a way to reply! Chicken! Cluck, cluck! To quote the black bird circling around in the sky in episode 101 "Ahou!"

Anyway, I hope I haven't tired you out with my somewhat insane ramblings. Here's chapter 11!

Remember to review on your way out, fasten your seat belts, the emergency escape is NONEXISTENT! BWAHAHAHA!!

My couch is changing sizes! Tattoo on forehead! Butt acne! Oh, the pain! The pain of it all!

I don't know what the hell I'm talking about anymore... Just read the fic. Oh, oh, oh, oh! I want FANART!! FANART!! DRAW NARUTO FOR ME!

Sorry for the chap being so short, don't kill me!

--LINE--

Naruto was skipping through the streets of Konoha, heading towards the Namikaze compound, whistling a happy tune when a voice stopped him.

"Halt!"

Naruto stopped in his tracks and lazily turned his head towards the speaker.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

Rock Lee broke down crying.

"Oh, Naruto-kun! Your hipness has reached new heights!" he shouted as he clenched his fist. "Come Naruto-kun! Let us spar! Let us sweat out youthful sweat together!"

"Sweat... our youthful... sweat... together...?" Naruto asked, frozen on the spot, just like everyone around them. "Lee... That sounded gay... Are you gay, Lee?"

"What?! I most certainly am not! I am powered by youth and as your rival, I challenge you, the hippest of all that is hip, Naruto-kun!"

"Aha..." Naruto said as he flipped open his fan. "So, what's the challenge?"

"I challenge you to a running contest!" Lee shouted with a thumbs up. "We will run around Konoha on our hands! Twenty laps!"

"Aw, man... Couldn't you have said something like... a ramen eating contest? Or maybe a dango eating contest..." Naruto said, thought he mostly said it to himself, pondering if there is such a thing as a dango eating contest. 'If it's real, I should enter... Dango... Mm, the freshness...' he thought with a happy grin and drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.

"Ano... Naruto-kun?" Lee asked with a raised eyebrow. Naruto looked at him with wide eyes.

'How can he lift those things?! They're huge! They probably weigh a ton! Maybe... Maybe it's some sort of alien symbiont...' Naruto thought and his eyes widened. 'Oh, my god! They're trying to take over the world! First Gai-sensei, now Lee! They're reproducing!'

"Naruto-kun!" Lee shouted, now having his face just inches away from Naruto. "Naruto-kun, are you okay?!"

Naruto snapped out of his musings, only to see Lee's face just inches away from his own. He did what any other rational man would do. He smacked him with his fan before taking off.

"No! You will not take over me, symbiotic fiend!" he shouted as he ran towards the Namikaze compound. Lee just sat on the ground, holding his nose.

"What... What the hell just happened?" he asked, all thoughts about youth temporarily forgotten. Then he remembered his challenge. "N-Naruto-kun! Come back! Let's work our bodies to exhaustion together!"

The entire village sweatdropped.

--LINE--

Sasuke was sitting outside the Namikaze gates, waiting patiently for Naruto to come, only he never did. Sasuke was a patient boy, but Naruto was seriously starting to piss him off. Suddenly, the sound of wood meeting the ground was heard as footsteps approached. Out of the bushes emerged Naruto, sweating and panting. He wiped his brow.

"Phew... I thought those thing were gonna lash out at me..." he said to himself and looked up to see Sasuke tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.

"You're late." he said, causing Naruto to smile.

"Ah, sorry, sorry. I was running from two symbiotic mega eyebrows." Naruto said as he walked up to the gate.

"Symbiotic... mega eyebrows?" Sasuke asked while Naruto channeled some chakra into the gate, making it open automatically.

"Lee." was all Naruto needed to say for Sasuke to know what he meant. "Well, anyway... Let's get training!" he said and pumped his fist into the air before lowering it to glare at Sasuke. "And one more thing."

"What?"

"If you so much as look at my sister the wrong way, I'm gonna torture you for three days, then I'm going to torture you for three more days and then I'm going to try to keep you alive long enough to torture you for yet another three days before finally killing you after cutting your nuts off." Naruto said, leaking killer intent.

"R-Roger."

--LINE--

At Namikaze training ground 2, Naruto was sitting on top of a boulder, that had bee placed on Sasuke's back as he did his push ups.

"What's the point of this exercise?"

"This is one of the many exercises Sarutobi-sensei put me through. He says that it makes the student stronger, and it also lets the teacher take extreme pleasure from watching the student suffer. I thought only he could take pleasure from it, but I guess I was wrong. It is fun to watch you struggle."

"Y-You bastard!"

"Less talking, more push ups. You still have thirteen to go." Naruto said calmly as he started fanning himself. "After that, I want you to start practicing your Chidori."

"But I already know Chidori. I should be learning a new jutsu." Sasuke said as he struggled. 'Only... Only six more to go...'

Naruto sighed.

"I can't teach you until you learn one thing, Sasuke." he said making Sasuke look up, and nearly fall and get crushed.

"What's... that...?"

"A shinobi's strength isn't judged by how many jutsus he uses. I mean, if you practice your Chidori to perfection, you could start making it more advanced, more powerful. Itachi knew this, that's why he didn't copy every single jutsu he saw. He copied a jutsu, then he worked on it until he mastered it. That's why he could probably do a Kage Bunshin without using hand seals, just like I can. So, to summarize. If two shinobis meet and use the exact same jutsu, who do you think would win?"

"The one who's more sufficient in it."

"Exactly! The one who's mastered it to the point where he can do it perfectly would make a stronger, let's say fireball, and it would just annihilate the opponent's fireball."

"I... got it..." Sasuke said as he finished his last push up. "There! I'm done."

--LINE--

Meanwhile, in Namikaze training ground 3, Naruto was standing in front of Jiraiya. The Naruto who was currently relishing in torturing Sasuke was merely a Kage Bunshin.

"Alright, Naruto." Jiraiya said with a grin as he performed a couple of handseals. "I'm going to teach you a really cool jutsu."

Naruto grinned.

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"I'm sure you will." Jiraiya said and slammed his hands into the ground. "Kuchiyose: Gamagakure no jutsu (Summoning: Hiding in a Toad technique)!"

In a poof of smoke, Jiraiya disappeared and all that was left was a small, yellow toad on the ground.

"What the hell?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. "That's just a henge, isn't it?"

Suddenly, the toad opened its mouth and a hand came out of it, successfully freaking Naruto out. Following the hand was Jiraiya's head, followed by the rest of his body. Soon enough, Jiraiya was standing in front of him in all his glory.

"Now, was that cool, or was it cool?" Jiraiya asked with a smug grin on his face.

"Did you just... go into... the stomach of a toad?" Naruto asked, a twitch in his eye.

"Well, yeah, but it's not slimy or anything in there." Jiraiya said as the toad poofed away. "This jutsu takes advantage of the toads' space/time transportation ability to 'travel' inside a toad and then emerge at a location. This hidden means of transportation makes it an excellent jutsu for infiltration, as a mere toad can go where a highly renowned ninja, like yours truly, can not."

"You're really full of yourself, aren't you?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, getting a happy nod from Jiraiya.

--LINE--

At Namikaze training ground 1, another shadow clone was teaching Misao the Kawarimi while Kushina watched. The Naruto with Jiraiya was also a Kage Bunshin. (Talk about taking multitasking to a whole new level)

Suddenly, the three Namikazes felt something tingling in the back of their heads.

"Oh, someone's at the gates." Naruto said and seallessly created a Kage Bunshin to go and open the gate. Shortly after, two blurs appeared at the training ground and there, in all their glory, stood Gai and Lee.

"Yosh! Good morning, Kushina-sensei!" Gai shouted with a grin. "How are you on this most youthful morning?!"

"Naruto-kun!" Lee shouted, standing in a nice guy pose. "You, my eternal rival, never accepted my challenge!"

Then, Gai turned to Lee.

"Lee... You have an eternal rival?"

"Yes, Gai-sensei! Naruto-kun here is really hip! That's why I have decided to make him my eternal rival! And our wills will clash in an explosion of youth!"

"L-Lee..."

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SEN-"

None of the green beasts could continue as Gai was beaten into the ground by a bench, courtesy of Kushina, and Lee was beaten into the ground by a fan, courtesy of Naruto.

"Oi, baka!" Naruto shouted at Lee. "You're scaring Misao!" he shouted and pointed at his younger sister, who was just standing there, staring with wide eyes.

Lee looked up and spotted Misao.

"W-What... What a beauty... Misao-san! I am Rock Lee! Will you be my girlfrie-"

He was beaten into the ground again.

"Don't even think about it!" Naruto growled and turned to Misao just stood there. "Imouto, are you okay? The first encounter with these guys tend to be a little scary."

"Those... Those eyebrows... They're... huge... What are they...?"

"I've been wondering that too..." Naruto said and turned to Lee. "Lee! I'll accept my position as your eternal rival, and I'll accept your challenge if, and only if, you don't hit on Misao."

Lee was up on his feet faster that you could say "WTF?!"

"Yosh! Then we will run around the village on our hands! Twenty laps!" he shouted and got on his hands, followed by Naruto. "Are you ready, Naruto-kun?!"

"I'm ready." Naruto said calmly. "Start us off, Kaa-san."

"Hai, hai." Kushina said and walked over to them. "Ready, set... GO!"

They took off in a blur, leaving only a cloud of dust behind.

"T-They're fast..." Misao said as she stared at the spot they were once in.

"That's what physical exercises give you, Misao-chan." Kushina baited. "If you train like I want you to, you'll be just as fast."

"R-Really?!" Misao shouted with an excited grin on her face.

Gai got off the ground and cried manly tears.

"Lee... My student has finally found a rival who's a challenge for him! Yosh! I will run three hundred laps around the village! If I cannot do that, I'll climb the Hokage monument with my teeth, and if I cannot do that, I'll-"

He was beaten by the bench again.

"Shut up!" Kushina shouted while Misao just stood there, frozen in fear.

Then, a small, yellow toad hopped onto the training ground.

"What the...?" Misao asked as she stared at the toad who just stared right back at her.

Then, the toad opened its mouth and out of it came Naruto's hand, followed by the rest of him.

"Yes! I managed to do it!" Naruto shouted as he got off the ground. "And on the first try too! Heh. Ero-Ojiji is gonna be pissed."

"This village..." Kushina said, shaking her head with a smile on her face. "It's still just as strange as it was when I left..."

--LINE--

"Shit..." Naruto said as he and Lee sat in the local dango shop. "I need to train my arms a little more... I don't think I'll be able to hold a pair of chopsticks for a while..." he said and grabbed a dango stick with his shaking and tired arm.

"But you won nonetheless, Naruto-kun. The score is now Naruto-kun: 1, Rock Lee: 0..." Lee said as he took a bite out of his own dango.

"I won, but I think I ruptured a muscle or something in my right arm..." Naruto said with a pout. The women around him felt a sudden urge to run up and hug him for comfort, only to remember that one of his girlfriends was Mitarashi Anko.

"Why... do I... have to... do this?!" came Sasuke's angered voice from outside. They looked outside to see Naruto's Kage Bunshin standing on Sasuke's feet, while Sasuke walked on his hands.

"You need to train your arms. What's the point of learning Taijutsu, if you don't have the strength to back it up?" Naruto's clone asked as he waved to the people around him. "No offense, Sasuke, but you're weak. Well, not weak, but weaker than the rest of the Taijutsu users. Kakashi obviously didn't know what he did when he trained you. Did he only think about filling your head with jutsus?"

"Mostly... He also... worked... on my... speed..." Sasuke said with a groan as his arms started getting tired. "How long... do I... have to... do this?"

"You have to walk to Ichiraku. There, I'll buy you lunch and then I'll tell you what we're going to do next."

"I thought I was going to practice using my Chidori!"

"Well, I had a change of heart."

"You can't do that!"

"I'm doing it right now."

"Y-You bastard!"

"I know. Don't you just love me?"

Their voices drifted off as they passed the dango stand.

"That... That was you, Naruto-kun." Lee said as he pointed at the spot where Sasuke and Naruto once was. "Or was it? Or are you a fake?!"

"No, Lee. That was a Kage Bunshin. That's the beauty of that jutsu. Have your Kage Bunshins train while you eat, sleep or do whatever the hell you want." Naruto said with a grin as he took another bite out of his dango.

--LINE--

'It's settled... I definitely hate this guy...' Sasuke thought as he was forced to do an exercise Naruto so lovingly called 'Kunai-in-ass exercise. He was supposed to channel chakra to his butt cheeks, the fleshy area that you sit on, that didn't have any form of tenketsu at all. Thus, it was extremely hard to channel chakra to that particular area. Not only that, he had to turn the chakra into a shield to protect his ass from sitting on the pointy end of the kunais that were stuck into the ground. Meanwhile, Naruto just laughed with a maniacal grin on his face, though most of it was hidden by his fan.

"Oh, look at the time." Naruto said, staring up into the sky. "Time passes quick when you're having fun, doesn't it?" he asked while Sasuke just grumbled, patting his bleeding ass with a towel. "Training's over for today, I have a mission."

"What? But what am I supposed to do? It's only noon and I'll get bored!"

Naruto put a hand on his chin.

"Well, there are three things I do when I'm bored. One is having sex with my fiancées, which you can't do because then I'd have to kill you in a most horrible, horrible way. The second is to just eat dango and the third..." he said, digging around in his pocket, pulling out the Orochimaru voodoo doll. "is punching the doll. It doesn't really hurt him, I think, but it's actually quite fun to punch him." he tossed the doll to Sasuke. "Have fun."

And with that, he disappeared in a swirl of cards.

Sasuke examined the doll.

"Why are there puncture marks in its ass and groin?" he asked out loud.

--LINE--

Meanwhile, in Oto, Orochimaru shivered.

"What's the matter, Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto asked while Orochimaru stared at him with wide eyes.

"I just had a feeling of sorts... Like a flashback of old pains... Horrible pain..." Orochimaru said as he rubbed his crotch that was still quite sore.

Kabuto freaked out when he saw the snake sannin rub his crotch and quickly left the room.

"Sasuke-kun... You will be mine." Orochimaru said, licking his lips as he continued to rub his crotch, even though the pain had long since receded.

--LINE--

Sasuke shivered.

--LINE--

"You said you had a mission!" Naruto cried, his face twisted into what looked like a mix of anger, shock, sadness and raw hate. "I thought I was just gonna go out and kill someone, not go on a fucking two year training trip!"

"Naruto. Jiraiya wants to train you, giving you his full attention every day. He can't do that here, since he's our information gatherer. That's why he requested that you come with him."

Naruto sighed.

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope."

"Fine..."

"Good! I'll inform Jiraiya. Meet him at the gates in two hours."

"Roger." Naruto said with a nod before using his Karuta Shunshin (Playing Card Body Flicker) to go to the Namikaze compound.

--LINE--

"What?! You're leaving?! But we just started training!" Sasuke shouted while Naruto just groaned.

"Don't be such a bitch." Naruto said as he handed Sasuke a scroll. "There are a few Katon and Raiton jutsus that I want you to practice in there. I'm not a Raiton user and I don't use Katon too often, so they're better off with you. If you need physical training, go to Kakashi-san or Kaa-san. And remember, no touching my sister. That's a rule Kaa-san has as well."

Sasuke pocketed the scroll and sighed.

"Alright, but can I train here? This is the only place I can train without having my fangirls spying on me. Thank you for luring most of them over to you, by the way."

"You're welcome." Naruto said with a nod. "Well, I gotta go say goodbye to my fiancées. I've already said goodbye to my mom and my sister, so that just leaves them."

"See you in two years then."

"Yeah. You better be stronger when I come back." Naruto said with a glare. "If I find out that you've been slacking off, I'm going to work you to exhaustion and then some."

"Got it."

--LINE--

Naruto sat in his huge living room with Kurenai, Anko and Mai in front of him.

"I'm leaving for two years." he said making the three women's eyes widen.

"What?!" Anko asked with a pout. "Why?"

"Because Ero-Ojiji wants to give my training his all, and he can't do that since he's going to be out of the village, thus, I'm going on a two year training trip."

"Aw... We're not going to be able to see you for two years?" Mai asked with an incredibly cute pout making Naruto sigh as he dug around in his pocket.

"Don't worry. I found these at Ninjas 'R Us." he said and handed each of the women a stuffed chibi Naruto doll, all of them grinning, holding their fans in front of their faces.

Three shouts of "KAWAII!" could be heard throughout Konoha.

Misao and Kushina ran into the room, looking around frantically.

"I heard something was cute!" Kushina shouted and spotted the dolls. As did Misao.

"K-Kawaii..."

"Don't worry." Naruto said and dug out two more dolls out of his pocket. "I got two more."

--LINE--

This is all I'm doing right now. The next chapter will take place when Naruto gets back to reveal his awesome, super cool abilities! Now, remember, I want fanart and reviews with a little love on the side.