Hi. I really, really appreciate all the feedback you guys give me. Especially those of you who gives me constructive criticism, something I can use when I write the next chapter. It's very much appreciated, so keep it coming. And also, I keep getting new readers, which is wonderful, so till all of you; keep reading and keep reviewing, you have no idea how much it's appreciated. This chapter is dedicated to rajen48, because you always read my work, and you leave a review every single time, thank you so much, hon. It's lovely to have readers like you.
Disclaimer; I don't own them. And I don't own Curious George, Margret & H.A. Rey does that, and he's wonderful.
What Love Can Do
Chapter 10.
--
There are no regret's in life, only lessons
--
Monday morning.
Aaaarh, work again.
Rachel got out of bed.
She couldn't remember the last time she hadn't wanted to go to work. It had probably been around the time when she worked at Central Perk.
After she'd gotten her job at Bloomingdale's and after that, the one at Ralph Lauren and so on, she had been looking forward to working every single day. When she'd been at maternity leave with Emma, it had been painful not to go.
But today she felt different.
She was lazy, tired, stressed and felt sick.
She didn't want to go to work.
She knew she had to though, so she went into the bathroom to take her morning shower.
She had been grateful for having the past week off from work, after what happened, but she couldn't be irresponsible anymore, she had to take care of Emma on her own, she had to make them money.
They also, badly, needed new furniture.
However, the day had one reason to go for; she was meeting Joey at Central Perk when she got off around 2:30.
Mondays were her early day, normally she worked until 4:30 or 5:00. Sometimes much longer.
After taking her shower, she went into the kitchen, to find Emma standing by the counter on a box, eating cereals.
"Mommy?" she said, chewing her Captain Crunch, "Are you gonna get us some new furniture?"
"Yeah, honey, I am" Rachel smiled, kissing her forehead, "I was just thinking about it before"
"When?" Emma asked, "Because I can't reach the counter, I'm too small"
"I'll figure something out very soon, I promise" Rachel assured her.
"Okay, but mommy?" Emma begun again, "Can we go see daddy today?"
Rachel paused, "I don't think so honey"
"Why not?"
"I have to sort a few things out first, sweetie" Rachel said, "But I'll take you this week, I promise"
Emma looked at her, "All you do is promise, mom" she said, "Nothing is the same now, since daddy's gone"
Rachel looked at her daughter, a numb feeling inside.
--
Rachel dropped a very quiet, and even more mad, Emma off at preschool.
She hadn't said a word to Rachel since their conversation, and Rachel couldn't figure out what to say to her, so they just kept quiet.
After saying goodbye to her though, Rachel drove into the city to get to work.
She just wished she didn't have to…
--
Chandler was on his way out of the door, when Monica grabbed his arm, "Chandler?"
He turned around to find her looking at him with a very serious look in her eyes. He was worried, but he couldn't figure out what could be wrong; "What's up Mon?" he asked, trying to sound fresh.
"I need to ask you something…" Monica trailed off, biting her lip, "This may come out wrong, but… Are you or are you not having an affair with Rachel?"
"What?" Chandler exclaimed, "Monica!? Where did you get that from?"
"I don't know…" Monica said, "It's just… You are spending so much time with her. Having lunches, going there all the time. Why would you do that? What is it between you two? It's really worrying me, and Ross too"
"Oh, so Ross is worried" Chandler said, "Since when does he care about Rachel and her feelings?"
"That's shit to say Chandler. How dare you? You know he loves her, right? He care a whole lot more than you can imagine!"
"It's a good way to show it" Chandler said, "He takes all her stuff. Ignores her. He's pretty damn sweet!"
"Don't criticize my brother!" Monica said, "That isn't the deal at all. My question was, are you guys having an affair?"
"What if I told you yes?" Chandler asked.
Monica looked at him with big eyes, "Then I was gonna have to divorce you. But I don't want that? Please tell me it's a lie, you're not sleeping together are you?"
"No" Chandler said, "I just have a friend in Rach, that I haven't had in anyone else in a long time. And I love her, I wont lose her"
"I didn't ask you to" Monica said, "I was just… curious. That's all. I was worried. I'm sorry I thought such things about you, but… You've changed, ok? You are not the same Chandler I fell in love with"
"So?" Chandler asked, "You're not the same Monica either"
"I'm just not sure if I can live with the Chandler you are now" Monica said, "You're… You're more serious, more confident. You've changed"
"Yes, I have, Monica" Chandler said, "But it's not like people don't change, you knew that. Ross and Rachel had both changed since the first time they went out, but they were making it work just recently, why wouldn't we be able to do that? What is wrong with us?"
"I don't know.." Monica trailed off, "Maybe we haven't tried at all?"
"I don't know" Chandler said, "But I'm gonna go now. Let's think about what we can do for awhile, and then take this up again?"
"Yes" Monica paused, wondering if she should tell him what she wanted to or not. Finally she decided to say it; "I just… I don't wanna lose you"
Chandler nodded.
Then he turned and went out of the door.
--
Phoebe's days had been the same for a long time now:
Getting out of bed. Eating breakfast. Getting Lilly ready for the day. Going to work. Going home. Spending time with family and friends. Eating dinner. Going to bed.
She had liked it that way.
In fact, I would go as far as to say, she'd loved it that way.
She finally felt like she had a normal life. No pimps spitting in her mouth. No talking to her porn star of a sister. No living on the streets.
She had rich in laws now. A wonderful husband. And a gorgeous baby girl.
She had a life.
But then, out of nowhere, her life turned around, and her friends, her family, was falling apart.
Monica and Rachel was in a fight that no-one knew what was about, and kill those who dared to ask them.
Chandler and Monica's marriage was ruined, and none of the other friends, knew what the hell had happened. Phoebe often wondered if it was the suburbs that killed them. The big house or the kids, perhaps?
Not that they didn't like their kids, because they did. They loved them with all their hearts, and if something happened to them, or if anyone got near them, the person would be dead by Monica's killer look.
But maybe they hadn't been ready for kids…
Joey had been far away for so long now, that she didn't even remember how it had been like when he was there. How they had gotten together once a month to discuss their friends. How sweet and adorable he'd been, and what a good friendship they'd had.
The only thing, that had actually seemed right, was Ross and Rachel's relationship.
They had been Phoebe's light when everyone else was having trouble around her.
They had finally gotten together like they should have done a long time ago.
The family life treated both of them – and their little Emma too. They were soon a happy, healthy family.
They had been her idols of the perfect life.
But then, 6 days ago, the tragic thing had happened.
Ross was in a car crash. He was hurt by his own sister's car, and was at the hospital.
The last thing with meaning in Phoebe's life, had suddenly lost all it's meaning when Ross had broken things off with Rachel, and now, everything was floopy.
Phoebe wanted badly, no, not badly, more than anything, to save what was left of everything.
To save their friendship – to save the group.
The only problem was, that she didn't know how and when to do it, so she just kept on doing what she'd done before, with just one little change;
She was at the hospital everyday.
Her days now looked like this:
Getting out of bed. Eating breakfast. Getting Lilly ready for the day. Going to work. Going to the hospital to be with Ross. Going home. Spending time with family and friends. Eating dinner. Going to bed.
Arrh, well.
Yet another day, yet another dollar.
--
Rachel was working on something about the spring line for next year, when there was a knock on the door.
"Yeah?"
The door opened and Chandler stepped in.
Her face lit up; "Well hello there!"
"Hi" he smiled.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, though she knew exactly why he was there.
"Well… I was sitting in my office, getting a little hungry, and I figured I didn't want to eat alone, and then I realized that your lunch break was coming up, so I though I'd treat you dinner?"
"Is that a date offer?" she flirtingly asked. They always played that game. And tons of others during dinner.
"Two seconds, let my check my schedule to see what that one defines the word ´date´ as, but I would go as far as to say that I'm certain it is a date offer"
She smiled knowingly at him, "Okay, we can go now. I'll just finish this later"
"Okay, my lady" Chandler said, offering her his arm, "Are you ready to go?"
"I think I might be"
"Let's head town"
--
They ended at this cute little café where they'd been a lot of times. They sat by the window, watching the busy Manhattan street.
"So, what it's like to be back at work?" Chandler asked.
"Oh, it's bad" Rachel sighed, "They all act like I'm some sort of poisoned… something. They avoid me, and they look at me with such painful, pathetic looks. It's like it's the end of the world what happened with Ross. Gee, he's not even dead! I hate it!"
"I think it's just people's way to react to something like that" Chandler reasoned, "I mean… We're little scared of what to say, and we avoid it, because we're afraid we're gonna say something bad. Especially when it's persons we don't know that well. I mean, I'm not avoiding you, but it's because I know you. Your co-workers doesn't know you that well, so they don't know what to say"
Rachel shot him a funny look; "I hate it when you're right!"
"I know, but luckily for you it doesn't happen that often"
"No, I know" Rachel laughed, "SO! What's new with you?"
"Hmm, a little of this and a little of that" Chandler smiled.
"Tell me"
"Okay… Hmm, let's see… My wife, your best friend, asked me this morning if we were having an affair"
"And what did you tell her?" Rachel asked.
"I told her yes" Chandler said, "I told her that you and I would be moving in together soon, taking all three kids with us. You should have seen her face!"
"No, you didn't?" Rachel exclaimed.
"No" Chandler laughed, "I told her the truth. That nothing's going on, but the lunches does bother her though. They bother Ross too"
"Ross has no say in my life now" Rachel said, sipping her water, "He broke things off with me. I can do whatever I want"
"But you still love him" Chandler pointed out.
"No" Rachel said, "Of course I will always love him, but I wont dwell in the past now, so I'm moving on"
Chandler looked at her, wondering if it really was the truth, but he didn't dare ask her, "Okay then" he smiled, "What are we having?"
--
At 2:48 Rachel was sitting in Central Perk, sipping her hot cappuccino, waiting Joey's arrival.
She couldn't believe he was back in town. It was going to be so good, seeing him again.
When she heard the door open, she naturally turned around to see who it was, and got a big smile on her face, because it was her Joey.
"Hey Joe!" she exclaimed, getting up to hug him.
Joey embraced her – long and good, and then he looked at her, taking in her beauty, "Wow, Rach, it's so good to see you"
"You too, Joe" Rachel said, actually getting tears in her eyes. That was how much she'd missed him, and how good it was seeing him right there.
"So, do you want some coffee?"
"I've already gotten a cappuccino, but you should order some" Rachel told him, "I have plenty of time, I only need to pick Emma up before five"
"Okay, sit down, I'm with you in two seconds"
Rachel sat down and Joey went to order some coffee. After that he sat down in what used to be Phoebe's chair.
The looked at each other for awhile.
"So…" Joey begun, "I talked to Ross yesterday"
"You did?" Rachel asked, "What did he say?"
"He told me everything" Joey said, "Of course that was in his perspective, now I need to hear yours. You guys need help"
"We do?" Rachel asked, then she nodded at herself, "We really do. I just think we're beyond help. Everything is wrong now, Joe… You have no idea"
"No, I don't" Joey said, "But I intend to be more involved with you guys. That's why I've been looking for an apartment in the city again"
"You're moving back here?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah," Joey said.
"Not because of us, right?"
"Nah" Joey waved his hand, showing her question off; "L.A. wasn't really me, I think. I never really settled down there. So much is wrong, like the fact that it's sunny there when it's Christmas. I'm used to snow. I think I can be totally set here when Christmas is coming up this year"
"Really?" Rachel's face lit up, "I cant believe it! Oh God Joe, it's gonna be so good again to have you here!"
"Yeah, I think so too" Joey casually asked, "Then I can be here with you guys. But right now, I'm only looking at places to stay, I'm still staying at the Bing's. My main concern, though, is you and Ross"
"Oh… my perspective, huh?" Rachel asked.
"Exactly" Joey said, "So… shoot"
"Well… There isn't much to say" Rachel said, "Ross got in a car crash. He's at the hospital. He broke things off with me. He took all our furniture. He hates me. End of story"
"Rach…" Joey said, taking her hand, "You know that's not true"
"Yes, it is! He took all my stuff!"
"Yes, that's true, but Rach… He doesn't hate you" Joey said, "He loves you. So very, very much"
"I love him too, kinda" Rachel said, remembering the talk she'd had with Chandler a few hours before, "But I don't know… We've tried so many times to work things out, and… We just can't. In fact, I think I'm starting to fall for another guy"
"What!?" Joey exclaimed, getting the whole coffee house's attention. He lowered his voice, "I hope you doesn't mean that the way I think you mean it?"
"I do, Joey" Rachel said, tears in her eyes, "I really do. And that's the awful thing about it. I don't know… I don't want to have these feelings, but with the way Ross have been treating me, it's pretty clear to me that he does not want me, and then I keep thinking; why cant I have these feelings? Why shouldn't I go for it?"
"Rachel…" Joey said, very serious, something you hardly saw him at, "You haven't even given it a week. Ross will be good again. And if you didn't have these feelings before he got in the accident, they're pretty new, so maybe they'll fate away?"
"I didn't have feelings before, that's true" Rachel said, getting perspective in things, "But it's like… right there, y'know? I – I don't think they'll fate away, and right now, I want to act on them, because of Ross and all… But I don't know – would it be wrong?"
"It would be very wrong, Rachel" Joey said, "You would be cheating on Ross!"
"But we're not together anymore!" Rachel protested, "He's throwing me out of the hospital every time I set foot in it! He hates me, he doesn't want to be with me!"
Joey sighed and leaned back in the chair, "Then I guess there's nothing that I can say to keep you from doing it. You do your own things. You live your own life. But… Just don't do anything stupid, okay? You need to take care of yourself, Rach, because I love you very much, and I hate seeing you suffer. Don't do yourself anything bad, promise me?"
Rachel looked him in the eye and nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I promise. And it's not like I'm gonna do anything, I don't even know he if likes me"
"Who wouldn't like you?" Joey asked, trying to lighten up the conversation.
"A married guy"
Yeah, like that subject would light the conversation up…
"A married guy!?"
--
"So, how was it seeing Joey again?" Phoebe asked, looking at Ross from the other bed.
"It was okay" Ross said, "He told me a lot of stuff… He said I needed to make up with Rach, he gave me advises… He was pretty much just being Joey"
"Okay" Phoebe said.
Ross looked at her, wondering if he should ask her about Rachel and Emma. Maybe she could tell him a little about how they were doing. It would be so great just to hear if they were okay. He decided to go for it; "Say, Phoebs…?" he begun, "Have you heard from Rachel or Emma?"
"Hmm, no" Phoebe said, pretty shortly, "Rachel doesn't talk to me anymore… We're kinda in a fight"
"You and Rachel?" Ross couldn't believe it, "Why? What happened between you?"
"She got mad at me when she figured out, I'd helped you with the furniture. I told her that I did it because I was your friend, and then she told me that she thought she was my friend, and then she hung up"
Ross was silent. He let it all sink in.
"Now I kinda realized, though" Phoebe said, "That I shouldn't have helped either of you. I should've stayed of it. It's you guy's business. It was silly of me to get in the middle"
"You were just helping me, Phoebe" Ross said, looking seriously at her, "Which I appreciate"
"You're welcome" Phoebe smiled, "Though I'm still looking for ways to make it up to her"
"Maybe she will forgive you" Ross smiled, "She just needs time"
"So, what about you two?" Phoebe asked, "Are you better? What does she say when she comes to visit?"
Ross looked at his hand, pondering over how he should put the thoughts in his head into words; "She's not coming anymore" he finally said, "She's stopped coming and stopped calling. I asked the nurse; no calls"
"Wow…" Phoebe let it sink in, "So now you want her to come, because you sound sad?"
"I just…" Ross trailed off, "Maybe I've just realized that… That I was wrong, and she was right, and that I cant live without her"
"Well, there you go!" Phoebe cheered, "That was what I wanted to hear! When are you going to tell her?"
"I'm not gonna"
"Say what?"
"After what I did to her…" Ross said, "She doesn't love me anymore. She hates me. She doesn't want me"
"Oh…" Phoebe said, trying her best to sound convincing, "She'll take you back!"
Ross' face lit up; "You really think so?"
"I have no idea" Phoebe truthfully told him, "Maybe… I-… I don't talk to her anymore… She's got this whole other life going on without me now, and… without you too. She's making it work for her and Emma, without you. Maybe she doesn't want you again, or maybe she does. Bottom line is; you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel"
"I cant" Ross said, "I just cant"
"But do you love her?"
"Yeah…" Ross trailed off, "No… I don't know! I think I do! Everything is just so messed up"
"Before you said you cant live without her, so I think you love her" Phoebe smiled.
"I do" Ross said, "I do love her. I just don't know… If she's ready to forgive me"
"Get your courage together, and then talk to her" Phoebe smiled, "It's the only way out of this big mess" she looked at her watch; "But listen, I have got to go now. I have to pick up Lily. I'll step by tomorrow after work. Take care"
She kissed him at his cheek and was out the door.
--
Before going home to Westchester that evening, Joey and Chandler swung by the bar they'd been at the other day too.
The Green Lagoon.
That was the name of it.
The Green Lagoon.
Chandler often wondered about the name, but he never got around to figure out why it was called that, and he certainly never got to ask anyone who might know it.
He just swung by once in awhile, getting a little drink to match his already pathetic life.
Well, it wasn't that pathetic, but he had to match the other guests' lives, so he'd added a little to his story.
"So, this is your new Central Perk?" Joey asked, sipping his beer.
"Yeah…" Chandler trailed off, "Sort of"
"Okay… Why are you here and not home with your kids?" Joey asked.
"I see them after dinner. Sometimes I go home before, but this is a place where I can relax"
"As in spite of your own home?"
"Do you think Monica lets me relax?" Chandler asked, "Don't you know her? I'm just not up for all her cleaning shit anymore, it's wearing me out"
"Hmm, Chan?" Joey paused, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what do you want to know, buddy?"
"What's up with you and Monica?" Joey said, serious, "Really? I want the truth. I've already talked to Monica, and I need to know what you are thinking. What are you thinking?"
"I just… You haven't really been in love before, I mean, you have, with Rach… But you haven't had a long termed relationship, let's put it that way" Chandler begun, "I mean… I love Monica… I love her very, very much"
"Then what's the problem?" Joey asked.
"I just don't think I'm in love with her" Chandler said, "Do you understand that?"
"Hmm, no"
"Alright, picture this:" Chandler said, "You were in love with Rachel when she was pregnant with Emma. At the same time, you loved, let's say Phoebe, too. But what was the difference between those two kinds of loves?"
"Oh…" Joey trailed off, "Now I see where you're going. I loved Phoebe as my friend, who I could be myself with, and whom I would give my life for if that was, but Rachel…" he paused, "She was everything. She gave me butterflies in my stomach, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was in my head night and day. She was just… it"
"Exactly!" Chandler said, "Then see this… I feel the way about Monica, what you felt about Phoebe, but I don't feel the way you felt about Rachel – I used to do, so much, but not anymore…"
"Chandler?" Joey asked, "I wouldn't believe this, but… are you having an affair?"
"No!" Chandler said, "Why does everyone keep thinking that?"
"Because… I don't know…" Joey said, "You're just weird. What is up with you? Why don't you suddenly feel that way about Mon anymore?"
"I don't know!" Chandler said, "And that's what I'm using most of my energy to figure out!"
"Maybe you should just go home and sit down and talk to Monica?" Joey suggested, "You guys are married, you should be able to talk to each other"
"Well, news flash for you, Joe!" Chandler exclaimed, "Relationships aren't as easy as that! It's hard, and you cant just screw up when you have kids"
"Then you need to make a choice" Joey said, looking at him, "I hope for you that you'll make the right one"
"Well, so do I" Chandler sarcastically shot back.
"No need to bite my head off!" Joey said, "I'm just trying to help. Gee, I would almost go as far as to say that you're in love with someone else as Rach says she is"
Chandler froze, "What?"
"What?" Joey asked, realizing he'd said too much.
"Rachel's in love?"
"She is? Who said that?"
"You just did"
"I did, well I don't know where I got that from" Joey said, finishing his beer, "Forget it Chandler, I'm just tipsy. Come on, let's get you home to your family"
Joey grabbed his jacket and left the bar.
Chandler hurryingly finished his beer too and followed in suit.
--
"Mommy, what are you doing?" Emma asked, looking at her mother, who was sitting on the sofa, writing something on her cell phone.
"I'm just…" Rachel paused, "Talking to uncle Chandler, sweetie"
"But can't you read me a bed time story?" Emma asked, rubbing her eyes.
"Well, of course I can!" Rachel said.
She stood up and followed Emma into her room where she lay her cell at the table by the bed and picked a story out of the shelf, "´Curious George Takes a Train´?" she suggested.
Emma nodded excitingly and crawled under covers.
Rachel sat down next to her on a chair, and was about to begin, when she realized that her cell was gone, "Emma? Did you take my phone?"
"I borrowed it" Emma pouted.
Rachel giggled a little, trying to sound mad; "Well, you cant just ´borrow´ things. Not all people are as sweet as me, some of them does actually get pretty mad when you take their stuff"
Emma giggled too, "I'm gonna borrow it until you've read my story. Uncle Chandler can wait, mommy"
"Well of course, he can" Rachel smiled, opening the book, "You're the most important thing in my life"
And that was the truth.
The most important thing in her life was her baby girl. She would do anything to make her happy. To give her a good childhood.
Rachel's thoughts wandered while she read the story about Curious George, who took the train.
"Here is Peter" she begun, "Peter was a sweet little monkey, who was very curious. One morning Peter and the guy with the yellow hat, had to go to the station. They were taking a trip to the country, where they were going to visit their friend Mrs. Hench. But first they had to by tickets. On the station, everyone was busy. People ran around to buy newspapers and sweets for the trip. And then they ran more to catch their train…"
--
Not that far away, Monica was looking out of the window, wondering how things had ended where they were.
What went wrong for them?
What happened?
She didn't know, but she knew she wanted it all to be over.
If it was a horrible dream, she wanted to wake up.
If it was some sort of test, she wanted to fail to get out of it.
But nothing of that happened, and that only proved her that this was real.
This was where her life had ended.
She wanted the pain to be gone, no matter how that was going to happen.
If she had to leave Chandler, she was gonna do it.
Okay then, so yeah… This was this chapter… Sorry if the story about Curious George wasn't accurate, but I only had the Danish version, so I had to translate it the best way I could. I think it got okay. BTW, the quote I wrote in the top was one said by Jennifer Aniston. She's really said some pretty amazing things. And just… I will be putting quotes in once in awhile, when I have one there's appropriate. I'm gonna try and remember to write who said it ;p And now I'll get a lot of time to write since I've vacation from today on! Wonderful:D Anyway, please leave me a review. Merry Christmas, Stessa (:
