The island, beautiful and full of sun, just the way that my mother had described it when she came here. She has been here twice before, once with the real wedding she had and one after I was born when I looked to be about. . . four I would say. It was ocean on all corners of the little island, with a house in the middle of it. The house was beautiful, it screamed something that Carlisle to give to his true love. It screamed it more then anything I would have guessed. It was HUGE and it made since that it would be owned by my family. I mean the fact that I was worth then most people's houses cost and this was our little vacation house, it made since it would be owned by any Cullen. It was cute though, the fact that Carlisle would give a whole island to Esme, that they would let Jake and myself borrow it for as long as we pleased, they just give it away to anyone that want's it. Well just as long as they don't want if for a week or two.
When we got there Jake picked me up out of the boat and took me into the house, he looked through every room until he found a bed. I was worried that Jake was going to drop me, so I had my head buried into Jake's chest, he knew I was scared and so he pretended to drop me, I screamed. He really did find it, thought he had to take me up the stairs and search for a good bed for us to be in. It was the master bedroom, everything looked like it was supposed to be there, besides the bed. The bed it looked like it was brand new, anyone could tell that it did not match anything. But Jake didn't seem to care about it much, he threw me on the bed and smiled evilly at me. Soon enough the bed didn't matter anymore, nothing matter besides Jake and myself together and happy.
* * *
The while night was spent away being with each-other, most of the next day was also spent either sleeping or. . . well being with each-other, if that's what you really wanna call it. We had almost forgotten that we made a promise to our son that we would call him, to call him every night. We had broken that promise once, we weren't going to do it again. I wanted to make sure that Ben would get to hear his mommy and daddies voices before going to bed, to make sure that he knew that we both love him very much. I want Ben to hear that we love him and that we will be home before he knows it. . . even if that isn't very true.
Just as soon as it was about nine their time, I was shaken out of my cold shower and thrown into bed, with just a towel on, and had to call up my family in Maine to hear my sons voice. I was dripping wet and really was not impressed with Jake, he seemed all happy as he threw the phone at me. All because the man who never wanted kids wanted to talk to his son. He seemed to be so thrilled every time that I said the word son and that it was our son instead of just my son or just his son. It was ours, I don't know if Jake wants more kids, all I know is that he's happy with the one that he has right now.
" Mom, mom, mom!" Ben screamed through the phone, he seemed so happy to hear our voices. But we were much more happy to hear his little voice again. Was it getting deeper? " I miss you mommy!" He said through the phone and I smiled, nearly wanting to cry. Mommy that word echoed through my brain millions of times.
" I miss you to Hun." I said through the phone. " Your father does too." I said taken Jake's hand tightly.
" Hey Ben!" Jake took the phone from me and then put in on speaker phone.
" Hi Dad! Who's the honeymoon?" Jake smiled and laughed lightly looking over and me.
" Well it's been raining a little bit, but other then that it's been amazing. Wish you were here though kid. Really missing ya!" Jake was so damn good with kids, how could he not see it?
" I miss you too Dad, oh and Mom too!" Ben said before yawning.
" Hey Ben, are you talking to your mother." A voice said from the other side of the phone.
" Yeah and my daddy too!" He said so happily back.
" Well tell them that were all taken good care of you and that Nahuel is gonna be staying for awhile, or until they come back okay?" Nahuel said and walked away
" Mommy did you hear all of that?" I smiled as he must have known that I would hear that.
" Yeah I did Ben, you don't have to re-tell me." He yawned again. " Hey Ben, why don't you go to sleep now okay? You sound really tired and I think that Esme has your bed all made for you." I could hear him walking over to the kitchen to put the phone up.
" Okay Mommy, I guess that I will go to sleep now." He said and he yawned again, this kid was really tired.
" Night Hun." I smiled.
" Night Mommy, Night Dad!" Ben said.
" Night Ben." Jake said and then Ben hung up the phone. I looked down at the towel that was covering me and then back up at Jake. I knew what would be coming after this, Jake seemed to know what was going to happen too. Great minds think alike huh?
* * *
The morning came fast before I thought that it would, something about the sun hurt my eyes. I didn't know what it was about it, but it killed my eyes so bad that I thought I was going to go blind. It made my head start to pound, I walked over to the windows and shut the shades with a fastness that I could not explain. My head was killing me all of a sudden, it hurt so badly. I laid back down in the bed and put the pillow over my face, it was cold, but it really didn't help. I was tired, but I knew that I would not be able to get back to sleep, no matter how hard I would try. I was hungry too, I thought that for a split second that Jasper was playing with all my emotions. I wanted to punch him, instead I just got out of bed and tried to walk off my head ache.
I walked out of the room, trying to make sure that Jake would not wake up, and walked down the stairs. I looked outside to see the sun was fading away, this made me smile because I didn't want his head ache to hurt worse. I didn't need to have much worse of a head ache, or I would be calling it more of a migraine rather then a head ache, it was killing me. I wanted to scream because it felt like my head was splitting open, I thought that maybe, just maybe it could be because I was so hungry. I mean I had not really had food in almost a full day! It must have been that, it must be why I have such a bad head ache.
I didn't know which one I wanted more right then. . . if I wanted blood or if I wanted some human food. I was having a huge craving for blood, blood of any kind would taste so good right now that I didn't care what it was! Something inside of my wanting an old craving though, something that I really have never tasted, human blood. It was something that just came to mind and stuck, like something your really not supposed to have during a diet, this was it for me. I thought that it would take too long to hunt down an animal, one that would take care of this craving, so I just took the first thing that I found in the kitchen, it was bread. It was white bread and I feel in love with it from the moment I saw it, I was starving and it was the first thing that I could find. I didn't really care if I had found a ham or a slice of cheese, I was going to eat it and it was going to be amazing to me till the last little piece of it was down my throat.
I made some toast and sat in the living room, one the comfy couch they had in there and fell into it, feet on the coffee table. I just lounged in there, not caring how crappy I looked in one of Jake's shirt, no bra, hair tied in a messy, half done bun, and just underwear on, eating toast. I would never be able to do this with my family, we were too proper to do this, well all besides Emmett, who's hit when he does it. Not for the whole underwear thing, which he also ties and we just run from, but the feet thing. It wasn't even from Rose who would usually hit him, it was my mother who was such a huge prude. People say that it's my dad who's the prude, but I don't see it as much in him as I do in my good old mom. She hit me once when I did it, I haven't done it since. So this was a nice change for me.
Soon Jake woke up, all because he smelled the toast and went first tot he kitchen to get himself some food. Jake was always hungry when he woke up from a long sleep, it seemed like he was always hungry in general though. He has been craving Emily's muffins though, since the day that we left for Maine though, I wonder who the poor girl was doing. Jake got cereal before walking into the living room and plopping himself next to me, I was done with my toast and rest myself on him. He was so warm and so comfy, it seemed to be heaven to me, being in the arms of Jake. I love to be there, there is my life right then and there it was the best thing in the world to have him there.
That's when it hit me, the thing that hit me the most was that I was married to him. I was married to this man! I was in shock about that, there was a pit in my stomach. I was going to be with Jake and no one else for the rest of time, I was his and he was mine and mine only. I never knew that feeling would feel so good inside, that I would want to be just one persons for the rest of all time. I would have never guessed that, it made me blush thinking about it that way, that I had the guts to walk up that isle and say ' I do ' to him.
Most of the day was either spent watching TV, swimming in the water, or other things. We did have sex a lot, but I never really thought much about it until the next morning when the days started to hit me. My head ache came back and I was starting to feel sick again, not in the way you can go to the doctor and get medication for either, no not that way at all. All the things that came to me when I was pregnant with Benjamin, the way that I was so sick that Jake was going to take me to the ER and how I always had a head ache. Oh good lord I could not be having another child, this whole thing could not be happening! Really this couldn't be happening at all, I didn't think that I could have one kid! Let along having another! I called the one person that I knew would understand what was going on in my life. He was always there for me, he knew that I was worried and that I could trust him with anything in the world. Which was so true that anyone could see it.
" Hello?" I loved hearing that southern voice, it made me feel like everything was going to be okay and that nothing in the world could hurt me, he was almost as good as Jake was.
" Jasper, oh thank god." I sighed as I walked on the beach, away from Jake in the house. He thought that I was going out to call me dad or someone in my family, that I needed my time alone. Which wasn't a complete lie, besides the little fact on what we were going to be talking about.
" Hey Hun, how's your honeymoon?" He asked and I just laughed. He was the type of laugh that made you know that it was going as well or better then planned. Something that our family just knows when were talking about sex and a good-time." Oh I see. So why are you calling me for, ain't this you and Jake's honeymoon? Didn't think that we were the ones that got married now, I mean I can be down there in an hour if that's true." He loved using that word, honeymoon. I just gave a half-hardhearted laugh.
" Umm, I think I may be in a little bit of trouble. . . again." I sighed, pushing all the hair out of my face, it was all clumped together, full of ocean salt and needed a shower more then anything. It was such a mess that it didn't have any body to it, no volume it was just kind of there, it seemed to be dead and lifeless. I would need an hour in the shower to make it come back to life, I would need more shampoo and conditioner then we had here.
" Oh no Nessie, please tell me it's not the type of trouble that I'm thinking of. Please don't tell me that it's the type that I'm thinking of, or I will come down there and kill that little mutt on my own hands. Your dad wont even have the chance this time, I'll gladly do it." He sighed and he said all this.
" Yeah, it is." I sighed looking up at the cloudy sky. It was a good day for my head ache, it seemed to be the day where my eyes didn't feel terrible.
" Well have you taken a test yet?" He sighed out, closing a door and getting a little lower in his voice, he didn't want anyone else to hear this conversations. " I will kill that boy."
" No, I don't have one with me." He sighed again.
" Call it Alice's knowing but check the bottom of your suitcase Nessie. I think that she knew that this would happen, even if she cant see you." He sighed again, he was stressed.
" Okay, tell her thanks but next time make sure that it's two." I said. " Love you Jasper."
" You too Ness, good-luck." I sighed off into the house, trying to make sure that I was staying away from Jake. It failed.
" Well hello there beautiful." He said as I took the test out of my suit case, Alice had been smart enough to pack two though. I stuffed them in my pants and placed myself along the wall.
" Hey Jake, what's up?" I said, trying not to sound like I was worried.
" Oh, I think you know!" He said looking down at himself.
" Oh, not right now Jake. I need a shower." I sighed, this wasn't going to end well.
Jake started to walk over to me and every time I would walk away. Soon we were running all around the bedroom, I started to feel sick about it though. I knew this was going to end well, this wasn't going to be very good if I threw up on him. Jake cornered me and started to feel me up and down.
" You look fine to me baby, you know that right?" I couldn't help but to smile at that, he always knew what to say. He went for my back and I jumped, he knew there was something back there. " Oh baby, what are you hiding down there?" He whispered into my ear, I knew I couldn't fight him now. This was going to end badly. He pulled it out of my pants and looked at it, then at me, back at it. He did this for a few minutes.
His face was something new for Jake, fear. It was something that no one should be used to in strong, faithful Jake. I know that I have never seen it before in my life, it almost scared me that he was scared about this. His face started to go pail and he looked, for the final time from the test up to my face and kept it there. There were no words spoken, there were no words that needed to be spoken, we just knew it. He took me into a hug, tighten his grip on me and not letting me go.
" We can make this better, I promise." Was the only words he said, I didn't think that I understood in the way that he did, if we have another kid well then I don't know what I would do. I don't want a kid right now, I'm not ready to take care of Ben on my own when Jake goes off for an equinox let alone with another! " Have you taken one yet?" He broke the ice cold silence.
" No." Was the only thing that could come out of my mouth, so may things were going through my mind at that time. So many things that I could not explain out-loud or in my mind. So many things were confusing me right then and there. " I'm too scared to right now, I don't know why I think that I am. I just do, it's this feeling in my gut that's telling me that I need to take one." I sighed, pushing the hair out of my face again.
" Well babe just take it, you can hand it to my right after. We just need to know so that we can decide how much longer we'll be here for. I need to know if I need to take you back to Carlisle or if we can stay here." He said as he took me into the bathroom, closing the door and leaving me in there to take this type of test. I was scared and I didn't know if I could do this, but I did and then handed it to Jake and walked onto the beach. I just needed time alone I guess.
