"We can't keep going on like this." Glenn's voice surprised me, breaking the uncomfortable silence cloaking us all. Though sitting on the railroad tracks in the shallow of the woods wasn't the ideal resting place, we had to stop somewhere and catch our breath. Last night had thrown us all for a loop, and it was hard getting back on our feet. Thankfully, nobody had been injured too badly, but the shock rebounded through nearly everyone.
"Like what?" Carol asked softly, glancing up from wiping blood off her arms and hands with a damp rag. All of our attentions were focused on Glenn, all except Carl. He continued to stare at his feet with a frown set in his face. I felt that it was almost completely my fault, but I didn't say anything, just wrapped my arms around myself tighter.
"You know… Running around like this. We need to find someplace safe, where we can hunker down and stay for more than a night. We need to start looking for an actual… I don't know, community… instead of just wandering and hoping we'll come across something worthwhile." Glenn drew his fingers over Maggie's hair as he spoke. His wife lay across the ground with her head in his lap, eyes staring at the darkening evening sky as she listened. I shifted and tapped my fingers on the rusted bars of the railroad track restlessly.
"He's right." Rick spoke up before anyone else could. He, unlike the others, was leaning against a thick-barked tree while observing. He gave Glenn a brief nod.
"We need to start looking for town, or a neighborhood, or even a group of homes where we can set up camp. So far, we've been ambling along the roads aimlessly. If we keep going that way, we're bound to lose a sense of purpose. I say we head to D.C," Rick cast a glance at Abraham, who raised his eyebrows in surprise, but nodded nonetheless. "And see what we can find there. No doubt somebody- anybody- would have the sense to set themselves up in the capital."
"Well said." Abraham agreed. Rosita, beside him, shrugged slightly with her arm propped against her knee to keep her head up. Eugene, however, said nothing.
Before I could speak, Tara vocalized my thoughts. "What if we don't find anything there?"
"We keep moving. Same as we always do. There's more land, more places we haven't been yet. There's got to be safety out there somewhere. We just have to find it." Rick had the same authority in his voice as he always did, the tone that didn't make me surprised that he was a sheriff's deputy before. A bitter, guilty feeling squeezed my stomach when I glanced over at Carl, wearing his dad's hat. I decided to look away.
Michonne stood up, adjusting her sword's strap. She swept her gaze around the entire group, then began to look thoughtful, turning her back to us while peering through the brush towards the main road. While this confused me, I wasn't kept in suspense for long.
"Rick," She began. Her trail of thought seemed to wander back to the present while she spoke. "How far is it from D.C.?"
Sasha answered for Rick, having been staring at the road map for about five minutes now. "A day or two's travel. On foot. Less if we find a car." She hardly even glanced up while responding.
"Then we'll start moving. Carl," His son jumped when Rick mentioned his name. I guess he didn't count on the dark glare he gave him, since Rick seemed a little taken aback when Carl looked towards him. However, he continued anyway. "I need you to be on the lookout for any type of shelter."
"Fine." Carl grumbled, turning his head and staring back at his boots. I almost felt responsible for his sour mood, but there was no way I'd say that. Instead, I kept silent. Beside me, Jackson shifted and put his arm around me, whispering to me softly.
"Are you alright? You and Carl have been… a little weird… since-" I cut him off once Jackson mentioned Carl. My fingers knitted together tightly.
"I'm fine." I mumbled abruptly, keeping my head down and letting hair loose from my hat to veil my face. Last thing I needed was to start crying like a little kid, no matter how quiet I would be. Jackson gave me a brief hug before following the others in standing and stretching. I looked to the side just in time to make eye contact with Carl.
He blinked, then narrowed his eyes and turned away. My stomach gave me another twinge of guilt, and I forced it down. I stood up before it could get to me, and got myself moving just to give myself something to think about. I took a deep breath and stepped past Carl, following Jackson towards the main road, where everyone was already gathering. I peeked back over my shoulder and saw Carl staring at me like he was going to say something, but stayed quiet and looked away once he saw me watching. I cursed myself silently.
Night was falling by the time Daryl had found a place to stay; A rickety barn a little ways into the forest he'd discovered off on his own. It would hold up, but seeing as more rain was looking to be on its way, I was doubting how long it would hold. However, I didn't voice my thoughts, and merely followed along behind Tara as we headed down the overgrown dirt path.
Nobody really spoke as we geared up for the night, securing the barn. Each of us settled in our own corners. Carl seemed to move as far away from me as he could, and I would be lying through my teeth if I said I didn't mind. It hurt to see him blatantly ignoring me. Jackson caught me staring at him with a hangdog look and gave me a supportive smile, lying down beside me. Unlike everyone else, who began to attempt sleep once the sun went down and the rain started falling, I sat there, awake, and stared up at the crossing boards on the ceiling. While I noticed that neither Carl nor Sasha were asleep, I made comment on neither one.
The rain fell down between the slats, making a steady dripping sound on the floorboards of the middle of the barn. Carl turned on his side, facing towards me. His eyes stared right past me. I waved slightly; No reply. Figures.
I contemplated stepping past everyone (pathetic, I know) to try to talk to him, but I deemed the thought too desperate and pushed it away. Instead, even though I wasn't the least bit tired, I let myself slump down and curled on to my side. I was facing the back of Jackson's head, and simply stared at the dark brown strands of hair until my mind finally sunk into a sleeplike state.
It was very early morning the next day when my eyes finally opened. I didn't sleep, not enough to actually be considered sleeping, but rather a quick nap. Most of the night before was spent either studying the veins and blotches of colour and light of the inside of my eyelids, or glaring pointlessly up at the loose boards knitted together to form a ceiling. There were a few instances where somebody would get up and move around, but I thought nothing of it. Wasn't my business, besides.
Once I had fully accepted that I was awake and would remain that way, I pushed myself up to a sitting position. A quick surveying of the room assured that I wasn't the first up, judging by the amount of blank spaces and missing people. From then on, it took about half an hour (I'm estimating, I've got no idea what time it was) for everyone else to awaken. There was minimal conversation, and while mostly everyone was just idling around, it caught my notice that neither Maggie nor Sasha had returned.
Right as I wondered this, my silent questions where answered. The barn door was pushed open slightly. I glanced up at the sudden noise and saw Maggie peeking in, a concerned look on her face.
"Hey…" She began, pushing the door open a little more to step in. I pushed myself to my feet and my hand rested on the hilt of my knife when I saw a man behind her I didn't recognize that surely wasn't there before. Maggie was staying in front of him as she walked. "Everyone…"
Maggie stepped to the side, giving us all a better view of the newcomer. Sasha was directly behind him. "This is Aaron."
Everyone drew their weapons immediately, giving the room a sudden burst of movement. Daryl strode past the three and ducked outside momentarily, looking back and forth. While the others began to close in on them, Maggie rushed to explain. "We met him outside, he's by himself. We took his weapons and we took his gear."
Daryl frisked the newcomer in search of any hidden weapons, but found none. Sasha pushed the barn door shut once more. Aaron looked rather uncomfortable, and I could see why. An entire group pointing their guns at you simultaneously wasn't the best situation in the world.
"…Hi." Aaron spoke awkwardly. Judith began to cry. A few of us dropped their weapons and I let my hand slide off my knife handle. Carl took his baby sister from Rick and began to shush her. Rick now turned his attention towards Aaron, who stepped forward hesitantly with one hand outstretched for an attempted friendly handshake.
"It's nice to meet you." Anyone who had dropped their weapons previously had them raised again now.
"You said he had a weapon?" Aaron withdrew his attempted handshake as Rick stared him right in the eye. Maggie nodded briefly and walked towards Rick, handing him a small gun. Rick inspected it, then shoved it in the back of his jeans. God, I don't understand why people do that with their guns, but whatever. "There something you need?"
Sasha interjected before Aaron could reply. "He has a camp nearby. He wants us to audition for membership."
Audition? Was it a goddamned drama club?
"I… wish there was another word." Aaron explained awkwardly, keeping his hands up. "Audition makes it sound like we're some kind of a dance troupe."
"It does," I whispered to Jackson. He nodded, his hands in his pockets. He apparently wasn't threatened by this new guy in the least.
"That's only on Friday nights." Aaron said in a casual tone. Nobody laughed.
"I- Um, it's not a camp. It's a community. I think you all would make valuable additions." Jackson and I exchanged a glance at these words. "But, it's not my call."
"My job is to convince you all to follow me back home." When he saw everyone's disbelieving stares, Aaron continued. "I know. If I were you, I wouldn't go either. Not until I knew exactly what I was getting in to."
He glanced back. "Sasha, could you hand Rick my pack? Front pocket, there's an envelope. There's no way I could convince you to come with me just by talking about our community. That's why I brought those."
At about this time, I began to zone out. This place, whatever it was, was no doubt just another icing-covered lie. I'd heard stories about a so-called sanctuary called Terminus, and this sounded like a copy-past of that layer of hell. It wasn't my decision whether we went there or not, I didn't care. But I'd be ready if everything fell to fuck all in the first two minutes. I knitted my fingers together as I listened mindlessly to Aaron and Rick.
As I listened to the newcomer talk, something sprung to a realization in my mind. Why this guy was untrustworthy, why this all sounded like a blatant trap, was because of his friendly tone. He sounded like an infomercial guy: he was trying too hard to be convincing. By the sound of it, it was gonna be his demise.
"The next picture, you'll see the gates." Aaron began, and I heard movement. Rick was striding towards him. I closed my eyes and looked away. I knew what was coming even before the punch landed and Aaron fell to the ground. This is why we can't have nice things, I swear.
Everyone rushed forwards at once. Daryl checked to see if Aaron was still conscious, or dead, or something along those lines. I leaned against the wall with Jackson and stayed back, out of the crowd.
Once everyone had covered from the dull shock, Rick began speaking in a low tone with Michonne. From where I was, I couldn't make out what either of them were saying, but Michonne was tipped off. Rick blew her off almost instantly and told Carl to do something I couldn't hear either, then announced, "Everybody else, we need eyes in every direction. They're coming for us. We might not know how or when, but they are."
He's blowing this way out of proportion is what I think, but I wouldn't tell him. Michonne met my eyes when she saw the same unamused expression on my face and slowly shook her head. I shrugged and glanced at Rick, giving her the look of "what can we really do, anyways".
Carol and Daryl were already setting to work on tying the unconscious Aaron up, and Maggie began to speak with Rick. Carl was going through the guy's pack on a table near us, and Jackson was observing everything he pulled out an inspected. Finally, he got to a fire-engine red plastic gun, and Jackson, who was leaning against the wall beside me, let out a quiet grunt, intrigued.
"What?" I mumbled, glancing over at him. Jackson cocked his head, as if he was trying to understand something.
"That's not a real gun." He muttered back. "Unless a flare gun counts as a one. But why would that dude need a flare gun out here?"
I pondered that for a moment too, but kept drawing blanks on reasonable explanations. Rick approached the table, asked Carl what he found. Carl handed the plastic gun to his dad and explained that he'd never seen one like that before, making Jackson let out a soft snort of amusement and mumble "dumbass" to himself.
Rick picked it up and inspected it. Then, without offering any explanation, gave a dark look towards Aaron and began to head over to him. Carl shot a glare at Jackson once his dad left. "I heard that, you know."
"The boy can hear!" Jackson threw his hands up and let them fall back down limply in a "hallelujah" sort of gesture. I was a bit surprised by the nasty tone Jackson was harbouring. "What a fuckin' miracle."
Before Carl could reply with a comeback of his own, Jackson explained, "It's a flare gun, by the way."
Carl only huffed and turned his back to the both of us, giving me a glare first. I tipped my hat down in an attempt to shrink and looked away. Jackson made a tch sound and shook his head.
"That was a right cross there, Rick." Aaron was smiling, even though he'd just gained his consciousness.
"Don't get hung up over him, Bethy." Jackson mumbled to me, speaking over Aaron and Rick's voices. I drew myself up and brushed hair out of my face, feeling myself get defensive almost instantly.
"I'm not." I could've probably held back on my harsh tone, but I let it happen freely. Jackson wasn't phased and rolled his eyes.
"What'd you even do to upset him to turn him into a huge dick all of a sudden?" I ignored Jackson, but wasn't focused enough to zero in on the other debate going on either. Instead, I just stared at Carl, letting myself do so. So what if he noticed?
"If it's not words, if it's not pictures, what would it take to convince you that this was for real?" Aaron protested. I continued to think of my own snarky answers to his words, but said none aloud.
"What if I drove you to the community? All of you?" This sentence stood out alone to me, and I actually looked up in surprise. What if… What if this was for real? "We leave now, we'll get there by lunch."
While I was beginning to wonder the possibilities, conflicting my thoughts on whether or not this could actually be true, it seemed that the group had come to a new debate. Now I was just hoping that Rick wouldn't shoot this guy before we found out if this place was legitimate.
"Your way's dangerous, mine isn't." Rick seemed so sure of himself, but Michonne wasn't going to let up. She never did, and she was set in getting her way this time.
"Passing up someplace where we could live?" Michonne asked. "Where Judith could live? That's pretty dangerous."
Yeah, he was going to allow Michonne to check this out. I knew it.
Soon, three other people had agreed to go with her- Glenn, Rosita, and Abraham. I kind of wanted to go as well, but I decided to stay here. I didn't know what they'd find.
While they filed out, Rick turned to the rest of us. "Alright, groups of two, I want everyone to stay within eyeshot!"
Everyone seemed to immediately pair up with somebody. Jackson and I glanced at each other and slowly trailed behind the line of the others heading out the door. I felt uneasy leaving Rick and Aaron in the same room alone, but I followed Jackson nonetheless.
Eventually, once Michonne and her group were spotted heading back down the main road, we were allowed to leave our posts and regroup in the barn. Jackson and I had gotten the worst hideout, in a willowy oak tree with gnarled branches that were a bitch to try and sit on. Both of us were happy to be leaving that tree behind as we climbed back down and followed the rest into the barn.
Cans and boxes of food brought by Michonne, Glenn, Rosita, and Abraham were piled on the floor a few yards away from Aaron. Turns out he wasn't lying. A little bit of a smile flickered on my lips when I realized we wouldn't have to kill anybody today. Or at least, for now.
Jackson and I stayed by the door in a lookout sort of position as Rick investigated the large amount of food brought back. Everyone was circled around the heap. Rick picked up a can at random, it seemed, and turned back to Aaron.
"This… this is ours now." He was trying to make himself clear, that was certain, but with Aaron being held in a hostage sort of situation, I don't think it mattered much anymore to be acting frightening. Aaron only nodded willingly.
"There's more than enough." He assured in a tired sounding voice. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.
"It's ours, whether or not we go to your camp." Damn it, Rick.
"What… What do you mean? Why wouldn't you go?" Carl spoke up with a look of disbelief on his face. Jackson rolled his eyes beside me, but I actually agreed. All signs pointed to positivity here, and it's not like it would be difficult to take them down if they happened to actually be hostile.
"If he were lying…" Michonne pointed out. "Or if he wanted to hurt us. But he isn't. And he doesn't."
"We need this." I was almost surprised by the demanding ferocity in her voice, the certain look in her eyes. Michonne had her heart set on safety here. "And we're going. All of us."
"Somebody say something if they feel differently."
"I don't know, man," Daryl shook his head, moving his hands around idly. "This barn smells like horse shit."
Finally, the look in Rick's eyes softened. "Yeah," He looked from Michonne to Daryl. "We're going."
A few minutes later, after Michonne and Rick had forced information on Aaron's camp out of him, Rick decided we'd be taking Route 23. Even though Aaron assured us that 16 was cleared and 23 was not, Rick was dead set on that road. I swear, his arrogance… it would get him killed one day. However, I stayed silent.
"We leave at sundown." Rick announced, looking down at the map he spread on the floor.
"We're doing this at night?" Sasha asked. I could feel her uncertainty; I felt the same way. I thought we'd all established that night wasn't the best time for travel anymore.
"Look, I know it's dangerous, but it's better than riding up to the gates during the day. If it isn't safe, we need to get gone before they know we're there."
I dug my fingernails into my palm. I was eager to leave now, to get out of this quite literal shithole of a barn. Though it looked as if not everyone was as on board with this as I was, I wished Rick would pull his head out of his ass and let us get moving. The sooner we get there, the better.
"Tell me where the camp is, we'll leave right now." Rick gave Aaron a threatening stare. Aaron hesitated, then looked away.
"Guess it's gonna be a long night." Rick glanced back towards the rest of the group. "Eat. Rest if you can."
