Hey guys! I know you've been waiting a while for more sexytimes, so here ya go!
SPOV
I wake up curled against Edward's side, listening to his soft snores for a moment before slowly sliding out of bed and sneaking off to the kitchen. Edward is always so good to me, and it's about time I did something for him. I might not be as good a cook, but there has to be something I can make. I scour the pantry and refrigerator for a moment before deciding on pancakes. I try to be as quiet as possible, which turns out to be not very quiet at all. Thankfully, Edward is a sound sleeper, and he stays asleep long enough for me to make breakfast and set it up in his bedroom. Satisfied with my work, I curl up beside him again, watching him stir. He blinks slowly before looking down at me. "Morning," he mumbles sleepily.
I grin. "Morning sleepyhead. Sleep well?"
He nods, noticing the tray of food on the dresser. "Did you make breakfast?" he asks.
"Maybe it was the ghost," I suggest.
Edward grins. "Oh yes, I've heard those ghosts are excellent pancake makers." He grins and leans over to kiss me softly. "If you happen to see him floating around, tell him thank you."
I laugh. "Will do. Now eat up before it gets cold."
He reaches over, setting the tray between us and pulling me closer, chuckling softly. "Yes Sir. But I think you'll have to help me eat this."
"Well, if I have to," I tease him lightly. I watch him stab a bit with his fork, praying that it's at least halfway decent. He looks over at me with a strange expression. "Is it that bad?" I ask.
He laughs. "No, not at all! It's really good! I was just thinking that you should stop saying you're not a good cook."
"Maybe I just say that so that you'll cook for me," I grin. "Maybe I've got a Master Chef trophy hidden in my apartment. But seriously, pancakes are easy. They barely even count as food." He offers me the fork, and I take a bite, surprised at how good it is. "Wow. Maybe I'm better than I thought."
He nods, leaning over to kiss my cheek. "I think you are. But speaking of your apartment, how attached to it would you say you are?"
It's an odd question, and I have to think about it. "Um…I don't know. Not very, I guess. I haven't lived there that long. And with all the time I'm spending here, it doesn't really feel like home. Why do you ask?"
He shrugs, offering me another forkful of food. "Well I'm glad you said that, because I was wondering how you'd feel about abandoning it."
I'm so shocked that I start choking on my pancake, and Edward pats my back lightly until I regain control of myself. "Are you asking me to move in with you?" I manage.
A light blush colors his cheeks as he becomes suddenly fascinated with the plate. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe one day we'll find someplace that's both of ours, but for now…I just like having you here. I hate it when you have to go back. Like, I really, really hate it. It ruins my whole day when I know you have to go back there. I want you here, with me." He blushes darker, looking at everything besides me. "But I understand if you'd rather not," he adds quickly. "It was just an idea…"
A loud laugh escapes me, and it startles him into looking at me. I take the fork out of his hand, placing it on the tray as he looks on, bewildered, before wrapping my arms around him and kissing him hard. In his post-sleep haze, it takes him a moment to understand what's happening, but once he does he responds with just as much enthusiasm. When we're finally forced apart by that pesky need for oxygen, he looks at me hesitantly. "Is…that a yes?"
I chuckle, resting my forehead against his. "That is an absolutely one-hundred percent definite yes. I would love to."
He grins, hugging me tightly. "Good. Now, I'm going to clean up, but I want you to go to the playroom and get ready."
The feeling that runs through me at this simple command is ridiculous. "Yes Sir. Does this mean you have plans for me?"
He chuckles. "I do, but don't fret about them. You're in good hands."
I smile. "I know that. I'm with you."
He leans in, kissing me softly once more. "Good. Go. I'll meet you there in a little while."
I stand from the bed, going to the playroom and following the usual protocol, sinking down in the middle of the room. Edward has been trying to teach me how to clear my mind, something I've only achieved for brief periods during a session, so I close my eyes and attempt it. I've almost done it when Edward comes in. "Well done, Seth," he praises softly. "But you aren't wearing your collar. Is there a reason?"
I blush a little. "It's yours, Sir," I explain. "It doesn't seem right to put it on myself. It doesn't feel official unless you do it."
He smiles, gently fastening it around my neck. "That's better. I'm going to push you a little bit today. I need you to trust me."
"I always trust you Sir," I reply. "And I love when you say that."
He chuckles. "Why?"
I grin. "Because it means we'll be doing something new and exciting today."
"I'm glad you think so. Stand and follow me." I follow him to the center of the room, waiting patiently while he fastens cuffs to each of my wrists and ankles, carefully arranging them so that my feet are spread wide, my wrists pulled above my head and towards opposite walls. This has become a favorite for Edward, for two reasons: the first is that it allows him a wider range of options. The second, and more important reason, is that it forces me to face my own vulnerability, something he knows I still struggle with on occasion. He waits quietly, giving me time to focus, first walking in slow, measured circles around me, then occasionally reaching out, his fingers running lightly over my skin. He waits to see if my old insecurities will return, but I've been working hard on conquering them, and I manage to stay focused. "Good boy," he praises. "Are you ready to proceed?"
"Yes Sir," I reply, closing my eyes.
I hear the soft sounds of him walking to the shelves, pulling various instruments from them before returning and settling them down again. I notice the click of a lighter, and I can't help the little shiver of anticipation that runs through me. Edward chuckles. "Isn't it amazing how sharp our hearing becomes when we can no longer see? Tell me Seth, why do you prefer to keep your eyes closed?"
"It's more challenging for me that way, Sir," I explain
"Interesting. Challenging in what way?"
I hesitate. "Well…I'm the kind of person who likes to know what's going on. It makes me anxious when I don't know what's coming."
I feel his fingers running lightly along the back of my neck. "And why do you think that is?"
"Because it makes me more vulnerable, Sir," I respond. "I chose to do it because I know I need to work on that. It shouldn't matter what you've chosen, because I've willingly put myself at your mercy. I don't need to know, because I trust your decisions."
I feel his lips against my shoulder. "I'm very proud of you," he murmurs. "In fact, that is such a good reason that I'm going to help you out there." I hear him shuffle around for a moment before he ties a soft strip of cloth over my eyes. "There. I want you to tell me if it gets to be too much for you. Now, let's get started, shall we?" It's quiet for a moment, but suddenly I feel a flash of heat against my shoulder, as Edward slowly drips the candle wax with precision. I find myself relaxing as he moves, allowing the restraints to bear my weight. Occasionally, Edward presses soft kisses along my neck, causing quiet purring sounds to escape me in between the soft gasps that accompany each drip. Suddenly, the heat intensifies as he pours a small stream of wax down the center of my back. I moan softly, and Edward chuckles. "I couldn't help myself," he murmurs. "You're just so much fun to watch." A new sensation joins the first as he lightly runs the end of the riding crop along my skin, occasionally striking out with it, causing me to jump each time. He continues this way for a long time, occasionally swapping out one sensation for a new one, constantly changing the pattern so that I don't know what to expect. These are the sort of times when I'm able to be completely in the moment and clear my mind of everything else. I feel Edward's hand slide around to the front, lightly stroking up and down my cock. I'm at the pinnacle of bliss; that is, until I feel something cold poking at the very tip. I freeze, and Edward must feel it, because he says "Breathe, Seth."
"Edward, is that what I think it is?" I ask, not sure I want to hear the answer.
He doesn't answer directly, which is how I know I'm right. "You trust me, right Seth?" he asks instead.
"Well…yes, but I-I don't think I can do this. I'm not ready." Any sense of control I once had is a thing of the past, and I find that the more I think about it, the harder it gets to breathe.
Sensing the impending panic, Edward moves closer, holding me to his chest, one arm wrapping around my waist, the other hooking under one of mine so that the palm rests over my collar, applying firm but light pressure. Were it anyone else, a hold like this would be alarming, but with Edward it was oddly soothing. It was something we'd discovered over the past few weeks, and though neither of us fully understands the reasons behind it, Edward always uses it to help me calm down when I start to get anxious. "Seth it's okay, you're safe, I'm here," he reminds me calmly. "Passing out is way less fun than what I had planned, so you need to breathe. Just clear your mind, focus only on me and breathe the way I taught you." Passing out is the last thing I need right now, so I try to do as he says, focusing on his solid presence behind me and the light pressure of his hand against my collar, a gentle reminder. Slowly, I calm down, my breathing slowing and deepening. "Very good, Seth," he praises gently. "Now, we're going to talk about this, but I need you to stay calm and remember to breathe while we do. Can you do that for me?"
I nod. "Yes Sir. I'm sorry. I just panicked."
"That's alright, Seth," he assures me. "I expected it. But I want you to know that you can do this, and you are ready. You're afraid, I know, but that's okay. We're going to get through that together. You can't let your fear get in your way."
"All due respect, Sir, I think that's a little easier to say when you're not the one who has to do it."
He chuckles softly. "Well you must be feeling better if your sense of humor has returned. I understand your point, but I wouldn't ask you to do anything that I was not willing to do myself."
I pause for a moment, thinking about this. "So you would trust me to do this to you?"
"I would trust you absolutely, the way I know you trust me. Whether or not we attempt it today is up to you. But I promise you, you absolutely can do this."
I consider it, realizing that Edward has a point. I really have no reason that I can't go through with this. "Can I ask why?" I ask.
"When we first talked about this, it was a lofty goal in your mind. It was like your own personal Mount Everest. I want you to see for yourself just how far you've come, and to know that if you can do that, you can do anything."
I nod. "But I'm still scared to do it. That hasn't changed."
"You're right," he agrees, "That hasn't. But lots of other things have. I never promised that one day you would stop being scared. What I did promise was that one day, you would be ready to conquer that fear. You've worked so hard and trust me so completely, and you're ready. But it's your choice whether or not we take that first step today, or tomorrow, or never."
I take a few deep breaths. "You're right. I trust you. If you think I can do this, then I believe you. Just…go slow."
"I always do, don't I?" he presses his lips softly to mine. "I'm proud of you. Now, you just let me worry about all the important things. The only thing I want you to focus on is breathing. Can you do that?"
I nod. "Yes Sir. Should I keep the blindfold on, or…?"
He thinks about it. "For a few minutes, yes. I think watching it before you're used to it might freak out you. We'll give it a little while, and then if you want to look I'll take it off." I take a minute to clear my mind again before Edward begins his slow stroking. Though it's hard, I manage to stay focused. I tense a little as I feel the same cold object, but a few words from Edward coax me into relaxing again. Very slowly, I feel it prod. I let out a soft gasp as I feel it slip past a barrier. "Good boy Seth," Edward murmurs. "Just relax."
"Is it…in?" I ask him.
He chuckles. "Don't think about the process so much, focus on the sensations. Is it painful in any way?"
I shake my head, taking a deep breath as he slowly advances the rod. "No Sir. Actually, it kind of…ahhh…feels good…" I relax a bit more, moaning softly at the sensations coursing through me as it steadily slides forward. "You don't have to rush it," I tell him, resting my head back against his shoulder.
He laughs softly. "I'm barely touching it Seth."
"Then why does it feel like its moving?"
"I'm not doing it. It's you. I told you once that if you relaxed your body would know what to do. If it's too fast for you, I'll slow it down, but you're doing very well. Remember to breathe."
I consider it for a moment. "Can I see?"
He chuckles, nuzzling my neck. "Do you think you'll be okay if you see it?" he asks. "I don't want you to be scared. It can be a little weird to watch."
I nod, taking a deep breath. "I think I can handle it."
He nods, untying the blindfold. I blink for a moment, adjusting to the light, before taking a deep breath and looking down. It is strange, but also somewhat satisfying to have proof that I've done this. I watch as Edward lightly pulls it back, then releases it, letting it slowly slide back on its own. It would be odd if it didn't feel so good. I'm a little worried that it will suddenly disappear, but it seems to stop with two or so inches left. He grins twisting it lightly, pulling a low moan from my chest. "Still feel good?" he asks.
I nod. "Yes Sir…very good…"
He smiles. "Good. I want you to close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath." I obey, feeling a light pressure on the rod before it moves impossibly deeper. I gasp, shuddering as my hips involuntarily buck forward. Edward chuckles, steadying me against him. "Good boy. You've done it."
"Like…all of it?" I ask.
I feel his fingers running lightly through my hair. "Why don't you take a look for yourself?" he suggests. Slowly, I look down to see that only the end is left sticking out. "I told you you could do it," he says. "I'm proud of you." I watch, fascinated, as he slowly manipulates the rod, hitting all the right spots. "You've done very well, Seth," he murmurs as he moves. "You've earned a reward." I feel the fingers of his free hand move around to the back, gently opening me up before something else slides in, coming to rest against my prostate. There's a small click, and the object starts vibrating, making it even harder to focus on breathing. Edward presses up against me as I pant, his lips teasing my neck. "Just relax, Seth," he murmurs. "You are free to cum when you wish. Don't worry about anything. Just feel it."
Between the low vibrations and the light movements of the sound, I know it won't be very long at all. He reaches down again, slowly turning up the vibrations, his other hand continuing to lightly manipulate the sound."Sir…!" I manage.
He chuckles softly. "It's okay, Seth. Let it go." I feel his teeth against my neck as my release rips through me, leaving me trembling and panting. "Good boy," Edward praises softly, reaching down to turn the vibrations off. "Breathe." I try to reply, but what comes out isn't coherent, so instead I stay quiet, except for a few soft moans as he gently removes both the sound and the vibrator. He removes the cuffs from my ankles first, gently rubbing the muscles as he brings them together. Knowing I won't be able to stand once he released my wrists, he slowly lowers them until I can sit on the floor. Then, using one hand to support my arm, he carefully releases each wrist, slowly lowering them. He picks me up gently, depositing me in his lap and holding me close for a few minutes while I try to regain coherency. "I love you, Seth," he murmurs, kissing my temple softly. I cuddle closer to him as he stands, climbing into the tub with me in his lap. I don't notice how hard I'm trembling until I feel it making waves in the tub. Edward rubs my back lightly, speaking softly as he waits. When I can think clearly again, I look up to find him grinning. "Are you with me now?" he asks.
I nod. "I think so. Edward, that was…" I struggle, trying to find the proper words for how I feel.
Edward chuckles, kissing me softly. "It was incredible, I know. I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of you."
I blush a little, nuzzling into his chest. "You did most of the work," I mumble.
He smiles. "True, but you had the most important job. You trusted me even when I asked you to do something you were scared of."
"Of course I did. I love you, and I know that I'm always safe with you. I put myself in your hands for a reason, and that means trusting your decisions. If you thought I could do it then I trusted you, even if I didn't trust myself. Momentary panic attacks aside, I always trust you. I just don't always remember that it's okay to trust my faith in you."
He laughs softly. "I'd anticipated the panic attack. I considered bringing it up to you in advance, but I thought you might be too nervous to find your space if I had. So I decided the best option would be to handle your reaction as it came. It's natural to have doubts, especially when we're suddenly so far out of our comfort zones. But what was truly remarkable was that, in spite of those doubts, you still trusted me to do it. It means a lot to me that, even when you're terrified, you still have faith in me. I love you so much."
I smile. "I love you too. I still can't believe you managed to convince me to do it," I laugh. "I was downright terrified."
He grins. "You calmed down quickly enough. I'd still love to know why you find that particular hold so soothing. I'm always a little bit afraid that I'll press too hard and you'll be really freaked out. Most people would panic further if someone had them immobilized that way, not to mention pressing down on their throats."
"But it's not just someone, it's you. It's complicated," I explain. "Overall, I think it's the power thing. It's restricting, being pinned against you, but it reminds me that you're in control. And if you have control, then I don't have anything to worry about, because I know I'm safe. And the collar thing is…hard to explain."
He nods, his fingers lightly tracing over the initials stitched there. "That's the part I understand the least, considering how unappealing you find breath play."
I shrug. "You never press hard enough to restrict my breathing," I point out. "The pressure is soothing because it's a reminder of why I wear the collar. It forces me to remember that I gave you control willingly because I trusted you to protect me. And once I remember that, it seems pointless to be frightened because I know you wouldn't let any harm come to me."
He nods thoughtfully. "Well that makes a little more sense," he says, affectionately applying a light pressure over the collar. He smiles as I relax further against him. "Well, I'm very impressed."
I think for a moment before looking up at him. "Hey Edward? Why did you decide to do it?"
"Well, I knew you trusted me. So far we've been taking little steps. I wanted to see how you might react if I asked you to take a leap a faith. And you, as usual, blew me away."
I smile. "Did you mean what you said about being willing to do it if you asked me to?"
He nods. "Absolutely. I would never ask you to do something for me that I wouldn't do for you. That doesn't seem fair."
"Have you tried it yet?" I ask.
He chuckles. "Only on my own, and only a few times when I was planning this. Once I'd decided to do it with you, I wanted to make sure I had enough practice to do it properly."
I sit up, looking up at him. "You used yourself as a test subject?"
He shrugs. "I'd much rather risk hurting myself than risk hurting you. I suppose it's probably a bit different if you have someone else doing it, but if you asked, I'd trust you to do it to me, just like I would with anything else we've done."
I grin, kissing his cheek. "One day I'm going to test that statement."
"Any day you want," he replies, hugging me closer. "Now, let's get you dried off. It's much more fun to cuddle with pillows and blankets."
Aww! Yay for happy times. You guys aren't going to want to miss what's coming up, so remember to review! It inspires me to write faster!
Love,
TheSongSmith
