The how-to-get-over-the-love-of-your-life handbook

Personal note: Here's part 2.

Keep in mind that angst has to come for happiness to follow. : )

Oh, and I kept my promise, so this chapter is way longer than the last one. : )

xxxx

Chapter 10: How to deal with another heartbreak (part 2)

Callie felt like she had been running for hours. The rain was pouring down and her legs were aching, but she didn't care. All she cared about was her broken heart and Arizona's broken heart. So she ran.

When Callie reached Arizona's door she didn't take any time to recover from the run. She just knocked at the door. She didn't want Arizona to know it was her, 'cause then she probably wouldn't open the door. So she knocked slowly, three times.

Arizona opened the door and stood face-to-face with a soaking wet Calliope Torres. She couldn't make out if Callie was crying or not, because the rain had washed her entire face. Also she didn't really care. She was mad, hurt and disappointed.

Arizona made a move to close the door. She knew it was hard and that it would hurt Callie, but she really didn't want to talk to her right now. Or, well, she wanted to, she just couldn't. What could she say, she had done nothing wrong, besides loving and respecting Callie enough to want to give Callie her mother's ring.

"Don't…" Callie said, still trying to catch her breath after the long run.

Seriously, how did Arizona get here before me?

Callie started to wonder. Even though that wasn't important now, she still wondered. She was after all a fast runner.

Oh! The car!... I should really had thought of that.

She mentally slapped herself for running and not just taking the car. I mean, she looked like a mess right now. But still the run had helped with getting out some of the angry and aggressive feelings, she had had when she had tried to knockout the doorframe.

"Calliope… I can't…" Arizona said, with tearstains on her cheeks and fresh tears appearing in the corner of her eyes.

"Arizona… Just… You don't have to say anything… Just… Listen. Okay?" Callie said in a defeated tone.

"Calliope…"

"Please… Listen…" Callie said again, tears were now forming in her eyes too.

Arizona nodded in response and swallowed hard, trying to control the tears from flowing freely. Her heart ached to be near Callie, but she couldn't. It hurt too much.

How can she even think that I would ever do something like that to her?

Arizona thought, and with that she started crying. Callie jumped a bit in surprise. She hadn't even begun her speech yet and Arizona was already crying.

"Arizona, I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry… I just… Mark said…" Callie started.

"Mark?... How could you even think that I would ever do something like that to you?" Arizona mumbled.

"I… Because I've been left before and… I know it's no excuse… But I thought… I mean. Everything was so perfect and I guess I just thought it was to good to be true… That somehow I didn't deserve it… You being willing to face your fears about kids with me… Your dad liking me, and the family dinner…" Callie tried.

"You're right. It's no excuse… Why don't you get it, I love you… No one else… And I'm not some slut or-or whore." Arizona said, now she was more angry than sad.

"I never said that… I never." Callie said as her heart broke more by Arizona's words.

"I know… But still, you kinda did." Arizona said slightly shaking her head. "You accused me of being one… Of cheating! Without even talking to me first… You know how that feels? To be seen as a cheater in the eyes of the one person you love the most. To have that person think you would ever do something like that. To have her doubt you like that, when all you wanted to do, all you did, was to make sure she would know how much you love her… That ring… It means a lot to me, and giving it to someone means even more… So think what you want Callie, I'm done." Arizona finished as the anger was once again replaced by sadness. Arizona had lost the battle against the tears and when she said the last two words she broke down completely. She quickly turned around and slammed the door shut.

"Arizona…" Callie whispered as she slid down the closed door. Her back leaning against it as she cried her lungs out. She had stayed outside that door before, and she would do it again. But there was something she needed to do. So after an hour she left.

xxxx

Callie had just arrived at Mark's after texting him that she was on her way. He opened the door and Callie hurried into the apartment.

"Hey to you to Cal?" Mark said with small smile, concern evident in his voice.

"Mark, seriously. The next time you tell me something, you better be a 100.000 percent sure!" Callie all but yelled at Mark.

"Wow, sorry… I just wanted to protect you… But sorry for protecting my best friend." Mark said in a defeated tone.

"Mark look at me." Callie said and Mark lifted his gaze to meet Callie's. "I'm really happy you're my friend. And I love that you protect me. But this really messed it up… And I know that I'm also at fault here… It's just easier to take it out on everyone else, ya'know… Sorry…" Callie looked at Mark with sadness in her eyes.

"It's okay Cal… I know I messed up too here, but all I tried to do was protect you… I just need you to know that." Mark responded.

"I know…" Callie said as her gaze dropped to the floor.

"Was there anything else you needed, 'cause it sounded like it in your text?" Mark asked after a short pause.

"Oh Right! Yeah well, I need that ring I gave you once. You know, the one that I wanted to give to Arizona when time came. The one you had to keep hidden, so that she wouldn't find it." Callie smiled slightly.

"Oh yeah, I'll just go get I for you." Mark said as a huge smile grew on his face.

Mark came back only seconds later with a small box.

"Here." Mark gave the box to Callie. "I thought you said everything was messed up… So why do you need it now?" Mark said with slight confusion.

"I'll tell you later Mark, thanks… A lot." Callie said and kissed Mark on the cheek before running out the door.

xxxx

Arizona couldn't sleep that night. She just wandered around her apartment either mumbling or sobbing. This lasted for a couple of hours until she decided that maybe it would be better to take a walk in the chilly Seattle weather. She picked up her jacket and her keys and headed out the door. Outside she found something that she didn't expect to find, for the second time at least.

"Calliope?"

This time Callie wasn't asleep this time she just stood there, right in front of the door. So when Arizona opened the door and stepped out she practically stepped right into Callie. Arizona felt tears come to her eyes as she stared at the woman in front of her. A few seconds ago that walk had sounded like a great idea, now… not so much.

"Ari… Just listen to me for two second please." Callie pleaded as she tried to look Arizona in the eyes. But Arizona turned her head and stared down the hall.

"1…" Arizona said, still avoiding Callie's gaze.

"Don't Arizona…" Callie tried.

"2…" Arizona continued.

"Don't be like that… Arizona… Please just give me a chance to explain…" With that Arizona turned her gaze to meet the brown orbs staring at her.

"What? Callie there is nothing you can say… I thought… I thought you understood that I was in this… That I would have never left you like Erica or George…" Arizona said with tears still in her eyes.

"But still you did." Callie said sadness covering her words. With that Arizona snapped.

"What? Are you serious right now? I didn't leave, you pushed me away! Don't try to blame me for this. I was willing to give you every part of me. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you. But you didn't trust that did you? Nooo. So now I'm the bad guy for leaving. Callie, that is the biggest load of you-know-what that I have ever heard!" Arizona yelled. The tears were now gone and replaced by pure anger and disappointment.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that… I'm just hurt and I need you… Even if it is my fault," With that Callie got an evil glare from Arizona. "Which I know it is." Callie continued, raising her hands in defense. "I still need you so much, I still don't want you to leave… I… Arizona… I love you with all of my being, and I'm so incredibly sorry that I didn't talk to you first… You're right I jumped to conclusions… And to the wrong ones… But I got scared… No, you know what, I got terrified of losing you… And that fear, that stupid stupid irrational fear drove me to accuse you for something like that… I never meant to hurt you… I promised your dad… Oh, Crap! Your dad is so gonna kill me…" Callie said as her eyes widened in shock and she stopped her rambling and started to mumble or actually it was more like ranting.

"I deserve it… I deserve it…" Callie kept saying over and over.

Arizona stood there, not knowing how to react. Of course she still loved Callie. But she was afraid that this would happen every time they finally both felt happy and safe. That every time that happened, Callie would start to doubt their relationship and start to push her away to save herself some from being hurt again. Arizona's heart broke even more when Callie started ranting and she took Callie firmly by the shoulders.

"Calliope stop! Listen." Arizona said as she looked Callie directly in the eyes.

"Calliope I can't be in a relationship were every time things feels safe and we're happy you start pushing me away… It hurts to much… You need to learn to deal with your fear and learn to understand that I would never do that to you… I would never hurt you like that… This… What is happening now… You are hurting yourself by pushing me away… You are not hurting because of something I did, or well, only a bit… You are hurting because of your fear of loosing me. The fear has only come true because you made it… You made your worst fear happen while trying so hard to avoid it… The fears and the insecurities Calliope… We need to fight them…" Arizona paused. Callie had now broken down completely. Callie had realized that what Arizona was saying was true. She was destroying this, the relationship. Her fears, created by what had happened in previous relationships, haunted her. Then she suddenly realized what Arizona had said.

"We?" She asked and looked at Arizona with tears running down her cheeks.

"We… Callie I don't wanna loose you either… So I'll fight, just like you was willing to fight with me to overcome my fears, we'll fight to overcome yours… We'll fight together." Arizona said and pressed a soft kiss on Callie's lips.

"I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry… I love you…" Callie said as tears kept falling down her cheeks.

"I was hurt Calliope… I won't say I wasn't… 'Cause it part of what's suppose to help you get over the fear. You need to know that your fear and what it made you do hurt me… But I love you, and I protect the things I love, so I'll protect you and help you through this…" Arizona said and looked into Callie's eyes with love shining through all of her features.

With that Callie leaned down and kissed Arizona, this time the kiss was full of love, passion and most importantly hope. Hope that they would make it through this. Hope for a future.

Arizona accepted the kiss and kissed back with just as much force. The kiss heated up and they slowly backed into Arizona's apartment, closing the door behind them.

xxxx

When Arizona woke up she looked directly into the eyes of her beautiful Calliope.

"Hi." Callie smiled.

"How long have you been awake." Arizona said, still groggy from her sleep.

"A bit…" Callie said still smiling at Arizona. Not a smirk or a huge smile, just a small smile that displayed comfort and safety. Callie felt safe, she felt hope and love. She knew there was a lot of work ahead for her, but now she also knew that Arizona would be at her side every step of the way. That's when she remembered what she had picked up at Mark's the other night.

"Oh… I… Ehm… Just wait a second." Callie said, showing one finger in front of her, signaling for Arizona to wait. Arizona had confusion written all over her face. Callie went to the chair in one end of the bedroom and fumbled with her pants, putting them on and pulling something out of the pocket, and then she returned to the bed. But she didn't go to where she had laid before, she went to were Arizona was laying. Arizona turned around to face Callie. As Callie went down on her knees and pulled out the small box Arizona's confusion grew.

"Calliope, I really don't think it's the right ti…" She was interrupted by Callie's finger on her lips.

"I'm not on one knee, and this is not an engagement ring, well not yet anyways." Callie said smiling. She tried not to let her smile grow too big, it would ruin the moment, but it sure was hard. Now Arizona looked even more confused, if that was even possible.

"It's a commitment ring. I wanna show you that I'll work on my fears, that I'm in this and that I'll do anything not to push you away again. I want you to know that I'm committed to this… To us… So, for now, I'm not asking you to marry me, for now, I'm just asking you to help me, support me and love me, as I'll help, support and love you… So… Arizona Robbins, will you be my person, will you let me be committed to you?" Callie took in a deep breath and looked into Arizona's blue eyes, that had now filled with unshed tears.

"Yes…" Was all Arizona could say. Callie still hadn't opened the box, 'cause there was more she needed to say.

"Before I open the box and put the ring on your finger. Which I so wanna do." Callie's smile grew bigger. "I need to tell you something about the ring. It's something I promised your dad I would do." Callie's face grew more serious.

"Okay." Arizona nodded in response.

"Your dad gave me this ring. I was supposed to use it as your engagement ring. But with everything that has happened I thought I would change it's purpose a bit… Just for now… Later, I promise, it'll be an engagement ring." Callie started to ramble. She stopped for a few seconds to take in a deep breath. Arizona was looking at her curiously. "Arizona, this ring…" Callie opened the box, to show a plain silver ring, with a beautiful engraving. "This ring was made by your brother. He made it before he went to war… He wanted the person who was gonna love you with all of her heart to give it to you… So when your brother left he gave the ring to your dad and told him to give it to that person… And I guess your dad could sense how much I love you, that you are the one for me, that I want to spend my life with you… I guess he felt that I was the one Danny wanted to have giving you the ring… So…" Callie took the ring out of the box and placed it on Arizona's finger. Arizona had tears streaming down her face, but she had stayed silent, not sobbing, just crying silently through Callie's story. Callie smiled and cupped Arizona's face with her hand and brushed some of the tears away. "He also left a letter to go with the ring…" Callie said and reached into her back pocket to pull out the letter. She handed the letter to Arizona. Arizona held the letter tight while she leaned in at kissed Callie softly on the lips. Callie got up and sat beside Arizona on the bed.

"I can leave if you want some privacy…" Callie said as she moved to get up. But Arizona grabbed her and pulled her back down.

"He wanted you to have the ring… I think he would also want you to be here now…" Arizona said as she looked into Callie's brown eyes. There were still tears in the corner of her eyes. Arizona turned her attention back to the letter and started reading.

Dear Zony

I'm going to war and I know the dangers that I'm going to have to face. I know that this might be my last message to you, my last change to talk to you. I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart. You are my sister, my best friend and my soul mate. No matter what happens over there none of that will change.

I made you a ring. I know you might think it silly or something, but I needed to. I needed to make sure you know that I'll always be with you. I want this ring to be given to you by the love of your life. I want you to know that I'll be with you in all the happy moments in your life. The ring is a symbol of that.

I'll always be by your side and watch over you, like I always have.

Love

Danny

Oh! And look at the engraving, it's so cool!

As Arizona finished reading the letter there were still tears running down her cheek, but the emotion that covered her face was happiness. She had a small smile tugging her lips and she giggles slightly when she read the last part, because it reminded her so much of how Danny used to be.

She took the ring of and turned it so that she could see the engraving.

I'm right here. Love Danny.

Arizona's smile grew bigger. She turned to look at Callie, who also had tears in her eyes.

"Thanks. I love you." She said as she kissed Callie on the lips.

"Thank Danny and your dad, I'm just the messenger." Callie said as she looked into the beautiful bright blue eyes in front of her.

"No, you are way more than that… My dad know it, Danny know it and I know it, you are the love of my life." Arizona said as she moved closer to Callie, so there lips were only inches apart. She looked into Callie's eyes for a while just loving the connection she felt when they where this close to each other without touching. But then she gave in and kissed Callie with all the passion she could muster. She pushed Callie onto her back and started trailing kisses down her neck.

Danny, you might wanna look away now.

She thought to herself, smirking and giggling a bit, as she continued to kiss Callie.

xxxx

So many feelings in one chapter…

Spoiler:

Callie and Arizona still needs to work on their fears and insecurities. But this time they do it together.

Plus, I might include some more Mark and Lexie.

Personal note:

This was such a hard chapter to write. I really hope you liked it. : )