A/N This chapter includes more about Katara's personal POV about things.
So that means a little more rhetorical questions than usual.
I just wanted everyone to know more about what is going on in her head, rather than what is happening around her.
I don't own any of these characters. x
----------------------
Chapter Eleven - Secrets
"Katara, you okay?"
"Huh? What?" I looked up from a self-portrait I had been drawing when I heard Aang say my name. I'd been doing a lot of thinking last night, and I can't seem to focus myself on anything today. Even in art – one of my favorite subjects.
All I could think of was my little trip to Iroh's place after school, I've been worried and paranoid the whole day. Although art did calm me down, a little. Still, it didn't keep me from being distracted.
"You seem distracted, what's up?" Aang echoed my thoughts. I noticed the drawing in front of me had been myself with a water jug. I didn't even realize that I'd been drawing that. The arms were incomplete, but from the looks of it, it looks like I was about to draw myself in a bending stance…
I scrunched up the paper before Aang could protest. He was too late.
"Why did you do that for? You were doing great." He said, one eyebrow raised, "Although the water jug seemed out of place-"
I grabbed his arm. "We need to talk." I raised my other free arm to grab the teacher's attention. I asked if we could be excused, but from his impassive look I took it that he didn't really care, so I dragged Aang outside the room.
"Katara…?"
"Aang," It still felt weird having to look up to meet his gaze, "I have something to tell you."
He didn't reply – instead he waited for me to continue. Unlike me, Aang is a patient person.
Of course, you'd have to be if you were the avatar…
I kicked my inner voice internally. But of course, it was right. And that was exactly why I dragged Aang here.
But, under the pressure, no matter how many words I could have explained it, or asked it, it would always turn out…lame.
"You're the avatar, aren't you?" I would have face palmed myself right then. Stupid Katara.
At first, Aang looked a little uncomfortable. His eyebrows creased. But his eyes soon drifted to my side, where my water skin was placed, and a small smile formed.
"You could have told me you were a water bender, Katara." His grey eyes shone.
"Well, to be honest, I didn't really know I was a bender – until Gran-Gran told me."
"Your grandmother is wise; at least she gave you enough time until she revealed your secret." He averted his eyes from mine as he said this, and focused on the floor beneath us. I could hear our teacher's lectures from the closed door behind me, but it was muffled from the distance. I took Aang's hand and we both walked outside, sitting him down next to me on the pavement.
"Sokka did mention something like this," I said to the Avatar, "Would you mind explaining? If it isn't too much…"
Aang chuckled. "Knowing you – you wouldn't let an unsolved mystery, huh?"
His words brought me back to last night, with me and Gran-Gran's discussion. "You have no idea," I said darkly, but strained to keep my voice a little humorous.
Aang's eyes seemed to darken in color as he began his story.
"I was very young when I was proclaimed the Avatar; I was six years of age. Of course, learning from school about the past avatars' struggle to balance this world, I felt a little unsure about the idea. So I spoke to Monk Gyatso after this." He noticed my puzzled expression after he mentioned this, and a soft laugh escaped from his lips. "Don't worry; Monks do exist…back when I came from."
I just nodded, but my mind sub-consciously picked up a word. "When…? Don't you mean, where?"
Aang's lips pressed together. "Be patient Katara – I was just getting to that part." He stared at his fiddling hands for a moment, looking awfully uncomfortable. Minutes passed, and I just couldn't bear the suspense.
"Aang."
"I'm not who you think I am," He said all of the sudden, his cheeks turning a light pink. "I mean, I'm not as old, as you think, I…I am but I'm technically not…" He continued to stutter, mumbling nonsense words that my ears couldn't pick up.
"Aang, just please tell me." I tried to sound assuring, looking him in the eyes as I said it. He stared back, not blinking. Finally, he sighed.
"Katara…when I found out about my destiny of becoming an Avatar, the pressure was too much for me. How am I supposed to save the world, at such a young age?" He bit his lip. "That is when I made a horrible mistake. I froze myself in the deep ocean, for 100 years I had been confined, until a group of water benders found me."
He hesitated before looking away. "Your grandmother's husband was one of them."
"Grandpa Pakku?"
"Yes."
I'm not sure what I felt at that moment. Of course I was shocked, I mean, Grandpa Pakku…?
"I could have stopped the war earlier, instead of letting it get worse in time!" I looked up from his broken voice, "Katara, I've made a foolish mistake! As the Avatar, I have duties that are meant to be met – instead I completely ignored them and eliminated the chances of preventing the war when it was the best time to do it. Now look, 100 years have past and it is still going."
So Aang existed long before I was born.
But even though he's the great Avatar…he makes mistakes. That's normal, and other people can't always treat him as the 'holy' one or so like it, he's only a child – he makes certain mistakes, just like everybody else.
And now I realize all the trouble he's gone through…being the Avatar must be a hard responsibility.
I placed a hand on his left knee, where he let his head rest, exhaling. I couldn't say anything – I didn't know what to say.
I'm basking in the presence of the great, legendary Avatar and even though how much I hated myself for this – its kind of hard to see him as that boy, my friend that I had a crush on before when we were both younger.
I just couldn't see that anymore.
And yet, I wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything was okay, but I'm not like that. I don't say things like that when I knew that everything is not okay, I'd rather not say it than having them to know it the hard way. Besides, I'm not a skilled liar.
The point is, Aang has changed now, inside and out. He's not that little kid anymore, he's grown up, he's matured yet other people are preventing him to accomplish his full potential. They pump him up with all these, sometimes, unnecessary responsibilities, all this elements he has to master…it's just not fair, it really isn't.
I feel for him. I really do.
So how can I sum up all of that in one word?
"Sorry."
Aang looked up from his knees. Again, I kicked myself internally. Did I just say that? Am I an utter moron or what?
"Sorry for what?"
No use of taking back what I said now. I averted my eyes from his. "I'm sorry about everything they've done to you…"
I'm an idiot.
"Katara…"
"And don't worry about your age – I don't care if you're 100 or over."
I really am an idiot.
I did get a laugh out of him afterwards, and as we made our way back inside, the teacher didn't even look at us.
The rest of the day flew by so quickly, but it doesn't mean I wasn't attentive. I did notice something, and it bothered me more than it should have.
Zuko and Iroh were both absent.
So what could they be doing? Is this visit so big that they had to stay home to prepare or something? It just makes me more anxious just thinking about it.
Then Math came.
As usual, I sat down on the very back of the room – it's become my personal seat ever since before. Sokka wasn't in class – apparently he had to go to the office to help out or something.
There was only one seat left when Mai came in, and it happened to be in front of me. With an impeccable expression (well, that's how I saw it), she grudgingly took the sit in front of me, not missing the chance of dropping her text book from a certain altitude that it caused a loud sound. Everyone turned around to look at her.
"What?!" She snapped, and all the heads turned back to the front immediately.
I was also staring at her when she turned around to look at me. I looked down – but my timing wasn't right. She caught me.
"And what do you want?!"
"Nothing," I said quietly, pretending to be interested in the work set out in front of me.
"Don't bother pretending, I felt your stare bore into my back."
"I don't want anything from you." I kept my eyes on the book.
Two hands hit my table hard, and it did grab my attention. I looked up, seeing her with her body totally turned around, facing me, her expression from impassive to a sharp glare.
"Listen, Katara," She hissed my name as if it was poison, "I know you're the reason why Zuko is away. And if you think you can steal him away from me… just remember, I always get what I want. Got it?"
"I am not trying to steal him away from you; you can have him for all I care." And I wasn't lying, that was the truth.
Or was I?
"It doesn't seem like it," She said it low enough for just the both of us to hear; "You're always with him like he's got his own gravity that pulls you towards him or something."
Huge misunderstanding. "If anything, he's doing that to me!" I didn't mean for my voice to rise, but it did anyway, "Stop assuming things that you're not sure about, Mai! He's the one who follows me, not vice versa!"
"Hah! You wish he'd do that! Stop trying to act like he's drawn to your beauty or whatever! You think you're so good!"
"I never said that! Leave me alone!"
"Not until you leave Zuko alone, first!"
"Girls," We hardly heard the teacher, I've been so engulfed in this heated argument.
"I don't want anything from either you or Zuko!"
"Oh, Katara, if only you knew how much you suck at lying!"
"That's it!" I bent some of the water out from my water skin and splashed them on her face. Her jaw went wide open, flicking her hands.
"You…Argh!"
I suddenly became alert. What if anyone else saw that? Oh no.
"Did you see that?" One student said, "She totally splashed water on her face!"
I froze. Oh no no no no.
"Yeah – she should have just dumped the whole water jug on her, not just splash a tiny amount!"
"Who said that?!" Mai yelled, scanning the class with her outraged eyes. The teacher just shook her head and made her way outside, probably to the office to get a deputy to come here or something. I'm in big trouble now.
From the looks of everyone's faces, I don't think any of them were traumatized or whatever. I'm guessing they didn't see what I did.
I looked back at Mai. For once, she had an expression, and it was the expression I was dreading on anyone.
She was shocked.
Her eyes were wide, one finger shaking, trying to point at me. I frowned.
"You…" She whispered, "You're a…"
I made a 'no' gesture with my hands, kind of like slicing the air horizontally. Her mouth closed, but her shocked expression remained stable.
Our math teacher came back with the deputy, and another person followed, a person which made me cringe internally.
"So," The deputy asked the guy, not taking his eyes off the class, "Which one is your sister?"
Sokka glared at my direction, before pointing an index finger towards me. "Her."
"Katara?"
I groaned.
"Don't even use that tone with me, young lady. Up to my office, now."
I decided not to push it, stuffed my books inside my bag and trotted outside, trying my best not to look at my 'loving' brother.
'Thanks a lot, Sokka," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. He huffed, but that was it.
Mai soon joined me inside the black and white walls of the deputy's office, her expression still a little bit troubled. I stared ahead, trying to look not interested at all, but just the very presence of her perked up my curiosity.
Damn my questioning mind.
"So you know…?" My voice was hoarse and careful, but it seemed aloof enough, "You know about benders...?"
"My father is friends with Zuko's father, of course I would know," Mai's voice was snappy but still a little shaky.
Silence filled the room, and I was feeling a little uncomfortable myself. I shifted from left to right on my chair – although it was very soft and comfy. Minutes have passed – I wonder where the deputy is. To break this silence, I was about to ask Mai the question when she interrupted my plans.
"And I thought you were bad, Katara," Her voice was mellow, unusually calm, her eyes dropped to the floor. I sat at the edge of my seat – was she actually about to compliment me or something?
"A water-bender?" Her eyes were still on the floor, but she sneered, "You're worse than I thought."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
I slumped back on my seat. Mai complimenting me, hah, who was I thinking?
"What's so bad about that?" My eyes were in her direction, my lips on a thin line, trying to contain my anger. I guess this whole 'water element' thing is essential to control my temper.
"If you've ever thought on making a move on Zuko…Eliminate that chance, Katara. Fire and Water? I don't think so."
"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't care!" Although her words, somehow, cut me like knives. Curse this stupid 'opposite attraction' phase to the pits of hell.
"Okay, ladies, calm down." The deputy, at last, walked in.
He had a talk with us, only causing a few debates every now and again, but in the end he let us go, and I thought I heard him say something about "not getting girls".
After a few sharp nods, I stood up and made my way out of the room as quickly as possible, but it just wasn't quick enough. Mai was in front of me in a flash, hands pressed hard against the left wall, blocking my way.
"What do you want now?" I couldn't hold my irritation.
"Stay away from me, or Zuko. We don't want anything from you."
It was no use. I just shook my head, bumping against her shoulder as I walked out of the office. She can warn me all I want – but she can't prevent me from seeing Zuko.
Besides, it's not like I have a choice anymore.
"Hey Sokka, I've been invited to Zuko's place. I'll be back home ASAP. We'll talk later, I promise. xo" I sent that quickly to Sokka's mobile before I caught the bus to Zuko's place, which is a bus that I've never been to before, as his place is on the complete opposite of my house's direction.
I sighed as I unwrapped the wrinkled paper that had Zuko's address on it. Burn St. Coincidence?
The bus turned a corner and my eyes lingered on the street's sign name. This is going to be a long day.
--------------------
Late update again, I'm very sorry…
Things haven't been very well for me, not just the stress at school but also amongst my friends…
Ah, writing this story did cheer me up a little.
Thanks for reviewing and remaining patient with me.
x
