Finding the broadcasting computer once inside the sanctum is simplicity itself. My mind is still reeling from what just happened, the sheer impossibility of it, when I locate the CPU and the linked antennas. Switching on the screen nearby, I run an initial check, and… whoa.
Okay, so I thought this is a backup system slaved to the main one. I mean, with Valentine's resources, it would be simplicity itself to keep his primary command setup close to him, kinda like the nuclear football, to use as an example. But this… this isn't a computer receiving instructions from elsewhere. If anything, this is the primary system that others are slaved to.
Of course, right now it's on a 'contingency' setup. Should anything happen to the system that Valentine is at it'll go online and broadcast the signal after thirty minutes.
That's… an interesting choice of design. One wouldn't think that thirty minutes would be enough for a force that neutralized the main broadcaster to start relaxing and thus be caught unawares as such backup systems should be designed to catch them. But then again, it's this world, where any of this actually sounds like a good plan and I'm a secret agent standing in the secret domain of a supervillain.
Logic works differently, and taking the Action Movie aspects into account… yes, I can believe it'd work. Juat as the system clears away it's 'starting' visuals and gets a kind of real 'work' screen started, I… stop. Okay, so what is this? I stare at the black, black screen in front of me, dominated with a lazily rotating symbol.
A symbol that's done in deep, blood-red, depicting a snake's head snarling at me. It's a very, very familiar sign. I saw it not two weeks ago, on the ring worn by the asshole who seemed to have guided Jorgi to his plan.
What is this? Is it fate, or the coming together of a really shitty story? How am I connected, and why am I being chased by this symbol… are questions I really don't have the time to ponder right now. I need to get cracking! The systems here are no less encrypted than Valentine's systems outside. As a matter of fact, as I progress in my analysis of the systems and the authorization levels they operate under…
This is not looking good.
I plug in my phone, flicking on the whole suite of hacking software. Not that I have very high hopes for the lot considering the failure against Valentine's external systems, let alone the ones here, but one can always hope, y'know.
Unfortunately, hope seems unoikely to be the key here. I work for over ten minutes on the target, aware of both the ticking clock at the back of my head and the one dominating the screen. But there doesn't seem to be an answer. I've tried to guess passwords, as has my phone's system. I've been trying to initiate a server reboot, a broadcaster shutdown or disablement, even more esoteric tricks like fiddling around with buffers and the like.
Nothing works. It's all encrypted to hell and back, and protected with the most advanced secutiry system I've ever seen, bar none. There have to be gaps and flaws, I know that intellectually. Every security system is flawed. But damned if I can figure any of it out. It's nothing like anything I've seen. The sheer level of encryption and the robustness of the programming, it's all so advanced as if it's from centuries in the future. I feel like a NASA genius in the 60's trying to break into an iPhone.
"Warning, scan evaluates Primary systems compromised. Secondary systems activating. Preparing for broadcast in 30 minutes.
Shit, shit, shit!
It's time to go with less delicate methods. I start unloading every single trick I have, going full-pelt into trying to just cause the system to either come apart at the seams and let me pick it's secrets, or just melt down. It'll lose me all the data I had an eye on to grab, but if Eggsy and Roxy have done their part and I end up being the one who dooms the world to die in a planet-wide orgy of violence… that wouldn't be nice.
But none of it works any more than the original attempts! I can see the system take the attacks, compressed packages of data and instructions that would send the most advanced supercomputers out there go into logical loops and processing overloads under the sheer scale and complexity of the stuff. This one doesn't even seem to notice it.
No flashes on its screen, no warning screens, no change whatsoever in any of the hardware systems behind it. I'm painfully aware of every second as the minutes rush by in a stampede, pushing the end of the world closer and closer with every second.
It's about twelve minutes in that I rise from my seat, having exhausted my bag of tricks five minutes ago and spent that time trying to just understand enough of the system to design something just for it.
But it's… too much. I know I can understand it. I can master it and compromise it, and I can do it well. I just can't do it in eighteen minutes, and that leaves us with rather more desperate options. Such as… well, I pick up the chair I was sitting on, and slam it into the metal panels underneath the screen. That's where the CPUs are, see. I managed to get that much out of it via backtracking… look, there really isn't time for explanations right now. I figured it out, that's all you need to know.
The impact is as hard as I can make it, and the sound echoes for several second after it. But of course, no change. I toss the chair aside in disgust and start looking around. I got a glimpse of it that I still have in my head, thanks to eidetic memory, but I didn't really look into the room, just at it. Now, going through it with a fine-toothed comb, I look at each and every inch once again.
There is something in the walls that's blocking the X-ray binoculars, and reaching in with my head earns me a nice shock that leaves me dazed and shaking for over a minute. After this is repeated when I try to reach in with just a finger… I stop trying.
There's nothing for it. I have thirteen minutes on the clock, and there is no software method working. Hardware can't be accessed using my exotic powers, and can't be damaged ordinarily. Which leaves… "BANG BANG BANG" three exploding shells fired into the metal panel. There's no particular reason to expect these will work any more than the other stuff did, but I can try, right?
Apparently not. The bullets don't so much as scratch the system, splattering like it was snowballs I threw. And of course, I have to be punished for trying. "Detected attack on backup systems. Accelerating broadcast time. Countdown initiated. T minus thirty seconds."
Bloody hell, come on! I', really going to fail. Earth is going to get ripped apart by people tearing apart people, and it's all my fault, because I couldn't crack one stupid code. Why? Why won't the finest hacking software suite in the world make even the slightest dent in these defenses? Why won't this bloody thing just "STOP THE DAMN BROADCAST!"
I let myself sink down after screaming the last. People in movies always act like how it's a relief to scream out loud, the whole 'let it all out' thing. To me it just feels like a failure. I can see the counter still in my head, going down and down. I turn to look at the on-screen counter, trying to just…
"Command Acknowledged. Broadcast cancelled."
Huh?
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"Merlin, I'm fucked."
Receiving the transmission, Merlin suppressed a sigh. He could see Valentine's forces taking aim and getting ready to destroy him, plane and all. And him with just an automatic. He wished, not for the first time, that they'd taken one of the armed planes. He'd have liked to see these bastards stand there smug when he had missiles of his own to fire at them, or even a simple minigun to reduce them to bloody chunks of flesh.
But it would have taken far too long to prepare one of those, and they'd been in a hurry. And now Eggsy was probably going to die, and so was Merlin, in all probability.
"As am I, Egg…" Merlin paused mid word, turning sharply on a heel as on one of the screens to the side suddenly flashed to life and started displaying streams after streams of new data.
Merlin took a note of the download and the location, before taking a second look at the data itself. He was aware of Eggsy seeming to have struck upon some idea and saying something, while he parsed the text flashing on the screen that he now recalled Eddy had been working on not long ago.
It was… bank accounts, schematics, weapon designs, what looked like a set of blackmail files and personal journals… how had the other agent done it? Because he knew what this was. This was the treasure trove, all of Valentine's most valuable data… and he would lose Eggsy if he stared into it too deeply.
He'd heard the young man's plan just a second ago, while he'd still been immersed in the data being transmitted. Now he set himself executing it. His first instinct was to issue a general order on the channel the implants received instructions on. It was the quickest way, here and now that every second counted. But that didn't mean it was the best, especially now.
It took the genius about three seconds to tap a key that patched in the data from Eddy's terminal to his, initiate a search for the parameters he required, and select his results. It took him four seconds more to make his adjustments and load up his instruction. In that time he was aware that whoever had been about to kill Eggsy would have moved about a meter, and the people about to blow him to hell would have seen their machine activate, it's systems having fought off the bombarding of random distraction data from the plane.
Then Merlin hit a key, and the world around him, for hundreds upon hundreds of meters, erupted in music and colors. The adjustments from Eddy's data allowed him to filter the general 'detonate' order to only target implants currently in the base. Considering what he'd seen in his brief look at the data stream, the alternative… well, it didn't really bear thinking about too much.
But now there was only the mop-up work left for Eggsy, and Merlin could get into the data properly. He allowed himself to wonder, now. Just how had the boy done it? Valentine's encryption systems were, quite literally, decades ahead of anything the most advanced intelligence agencies, governments, or corporations in this world had. Montague was no one's fool, but when had he gotten that good?
Merlin imagined the boy, sitting suavely and calmly on one of the terminals in the backup base, basking in his own smugness at having achieved the next to impossible, confident of his own immortality and secure in his victory. It was a joy to be that, that age and that mindset. It wasn't one any amount of training could take out of you, not really, and in any case Kingsman didn't want that mindset going away.
No, Montague would be more confident now than he'd ever been, flying high on wings of euphoria. And Merlin would let him remain such, at least for now. He could already see just how and when Lamorak would be needed again in the near future, along with his colleagues. There was a fuck-ton of work that would need to be sorted out and studied regarding Valentine alone. But for now, he could be allowed the joy of victory, and his inevitable confidence he knew everything that was important in the world.
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I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. Simply downloading and sending over a complete dossier on the bases took nearly all I have, so scattered are my thoughts right now. I even managed that solely because Merlin had driven it into my head that finding and sending it over was the first thing to do if and when I breached security. Doing it had been more of an automatic response than anything else, an old, rehearsed action to latch on to when my mind is thoroughly and completely blown.
I mean… what just happened here? Did I really waste so much time, and push it so close to the broadcast, on a computer that wasn't even protected? Was the reason behind me being unable to crack the security measures really as simple as there not being any?
No. No, that makes no sense, and it doesn't behoove me to sit about being bewildered about this. Not as a Kingsman agent and not as a Montague. It's shocking and confusing, but I need to gather myself and get cracking on figuring out just how and why it's all these things. Fortunately, there's a very simple way to do that available.
"Computer, can you answer my questions?"
The answer comes almost before my question is complete. "Affirmative"
"Why? I mean, why isn't the data in you and the access to this facility better protected?"
"Question unclear, both the facility and the data are protected with Level 1 locks."
Hm? Okay, what's that supposed to mean? Either the protections are disabled for some reason, or due to some fluke… I have access? But that's impossible. How could that possibly happen?
"Computer, who am I?"
"You are Edward Montague, Viscount Tandagree, heir to the Duchy of-"
"Not that" I cut her off. My full list of inheritances and titles is something I'm far too familiar with already. "Who am I to you? How can your systems be considered protected if I can access them as easily as I did?"
"All life-forms are analyzed upon entering the outer complex. User was confirmed Level One clearances and authorizations across all core levels."
Huh. I suppress the million and one thoughts rising in my head, clamoring for my attention. As much as I want to just put my mind to it and figure out how that can be, it's infinitely simpler to ask the nice computer that's telling me everything anyway.
"Okay. So regarding those authorizations, what is my designation? How do I have these access levels?"
"Access levels for biometrics matched to the user are encoded in physical devices holding computer setup. Protocols are classified across all levels up to the HCC, where they're available on specific request."
Okay, that triggers another set of questions in my head. Just what… nevermind. "You didn't answer the other question. What is my designation?"
"User designation is %&^%$# !%." I wince at the warped noise that the computer gives out at the end, sounding like a mix of static and screeches.
"What was that?"
"Query unclear. System complied with user command."
"That noise you made instead of answering my question. What was that?"
I get the feeling the computer is sighing, or wincing at me somehow. Y'know, the way people get when they have to tell you something they know you don't want to hear.
"User designation is redacted, User clearance insufficient."
My response is probably not the most elegant "What? But what about that Level One thing?"
"User designation is compartmentalized from all users not explicitly a part of HCC. Until user takes up his seat in the HCC, user cannot request information."
"What's the HCC?"
"The HCC stands for-" I admit, I jump a bit when the system pauses for just a second. Then it starts up again. "Warning, Primary Controller of local systems detected dead in secondary base. Mode of death is enemy action. Cleanup Protocol Venom 1, Internal to be in effect in T minus ten minutes."
Oh… crap. Okay, let's game this out. The others probably just knocked off Valentine. Now this condition… knowing the tropes of this world, it's gotta be some kind of self-destruct/sealing off game here. If I cut it close, it'll take me thirty seconds, at best, to get out of this place. That's if I'm not interrupted on the way at all. Accounting for holdups, it'll probably take as much as two minutes. That gives me eight minutes. Unless…
"No need to do that. Override the order and acknowledge me as Primary controller."
"Request invalid. Controllership can be awarded only by HCC order or Designation from Primary Controller."
Bloody hell. Okay, so… eight minutes. Well, seven and forty five seconds, now.
"What is condition Venom 1, Internal?"
"Venom 1, Internal is a cleanup protocols in the event probability of base infiltration is higher than 85%. All nonessential systems are shut down, all entrances and exits are sealed and corridors are flooded with a cocktail of deadly toxins designed to eliminate all life forms in the building."
Well, can't say I didn't expect that. That's the kind of thing these emergency commands tend to be anyway. Still, it means I need to talk fast.
"What can you tell me? Who is, sorry, was your Primary Controller?"
"Primary Controller was Richmond Valentine, HCC Member Level 1" No surprises there, but it's good to confirm.
Ah, that reminds me. "And what is the HCC?"
"HCC stands for the High Command Council. It is the highest ranking authority over all Cobra assets in the absence of a #^%$^ ^#$$#^#%^ or until user is acknowledged as %&^%$# !% by HCC."
Great. More redactions. Six and a half minutes remaining, and so much to ask. But first things first. "Compile all data I'm authorized to access in a single file, and transit it all to the IP address I'm going to tell you now."
"Unable to comply."
"What? But you haven't received the data yet!"
"System shutdown imminent in four minutes and eighteen seconds. Requested quantity of data cannot be transmitted in this time with proper encryptions without Cobra-grade receiving stations."
Oh. I suppose I was being too clever here. And anyway, these people would likely have known of it if I'd managed that. Still, it leaves me with about fix minutes to ask my questions, give or take.
Okay. Okay, let's… "Tell me about Valentine. What's his internal dossier?"
"Richmond Valentine was a Cobra Level 1 member, part of the High Command Council as the last Doctor Mindbender. For details of his birth, please refer Dossier AI.143-VG. He was responsible for-" "Stop!"
I roll the worlds over in my head as the machine pauses. Looking at the page on the screen, it's the full dossier on Valentine. I tap my finger on my thumb in a particular pattern, until I feel the telltale sensation from the implant there switching on. Another tap, and I'm told that the camera in my glasses has taken a picture of the document.
Then I can continue "Open File AI.143-VG"
In a second, the image on the screen changes to display the file. Immediately, the computer starts speaking. "As part of the Apotheosis Initiative, the DNA of several prominent warlords and schemers across history was used to create a viable set. Of the 143rd strain, two specimen were deemed successes. All others were liquidated. The first of these was 143-M-NA-1, born Augustus Gibbons. For details please refer dossier 'Augustus Gibbons'. The second was Richmond Valentine. For details…"
"Pause"
Ah. I mean… okay. So… a look at the corner of my glasses HUD tells me I have barely over three minutes left now. Needless to say, I have far more questions. I'll need to prune them, get useful data. It takes me a few seconds to gather my thoughts fully, look through the catalogue of possible data available and decide what can be the most useful and actionable.
"I want a full list of every specimen part of this AI, with their real world names."
"List compiled. Total number of specimen exceeds ten thousand."
Damn. I can't read that number in two minutes, even if it's just names. Time to take a hunch "Send it to the computer in my pocket."
"Compliance." The machine says, just before I feel a brief vibration from the device. Okay, so some real data to look at later. That's good. What else can I get here?"
"Send me a list of every bank account, safe house and other assets you have in your records, along with everything I need to know to access them." There are few things quite as 'actionable' as hard, real resources belonging to shady conspiracies, after all.
But that's done now. What else?
"What positions comprise the HCC?"
"The High Council is comprised of Dr Mindbender, Destro, Baroness, Tomax, Xamot, Zartan, and the Shinobi, with a number of candidate members."
Okay, so that told me nothing! What else? I can't bother with detailed information, the counter's running!"
"Tell me the names of all members."
"Invalid request. User not cleared for information."
Okay, now this is making me want to pull my hair out. What kind of moronic classification system is this? What can I access and what can't I? But asking for an elaboration on the system will just waste time I don't have.
"Tell me everything you can tell me about the members."
"The current Baroness is not European, the first time in five hundred years. The behavior of the current Xamot has been erratic as of late. There are indications he intend to turn himself in for the sake of his daughter, currently part of the FBI. There have been disruptions noted in the last year regarding one of the businesses established by Tomax in partnership with the last Doctor Mindbender, centered in New York city. There is-"
I stop it with a wave of a hand. None of this information makes sense without context. And I have barely – I look at the display in my HUD – a minute to get context.
"Access the latest news you have. Filter it for relevance to me."
"The Shinobi organization that abducted you and trained you did so as a part of the Apotheosis Initiative. Another candidate was maneuvered into another organization's path, and he's only just gotten himself freed and back to his city here." The computer emphasizes the last, just as a map of the American East Coast flashes with a prominent red dot. I set the data aside, determining to look at it later, even as the machine moves on.
"A data assimilation project designed for your use was stolen from the CIA by this man" a face flashes on the screen. That's… Neal? Huh. I'll need to… the computer moves on, seemingly in a hurry of it's own. "Your personal intervention with Project SN-APCL-J was noted and appreciated. It had been a brainchild of the previous Dr Mindbender, before Mr Valentine. Probability rests at 98% that the scheme was put in motion for the exact purpose it achieved.
Hang on. Waitwaitwait. I dimly realize that the computer's moved on to other data, but I can't, not just yet. Prague was designed? For me? In what world does that make any kind of sense? I mean, just… And I'm just about out of time, too.
"Who was the previous Dr Mindbender? Before Valentine, I mean." I interrupt the machine just as it's telling me something about the upcoming American presidential election candidates. I don't expect to recognize the name or be able to make much of it, considering the situation, but it would be a pretty good place to start investigating and
"Warning. Two minutes to Poison One, Internal taking effect. You are recommended to evacuate ASAP."
"Yes, okay. I'll do that. First tell me, who was the previous Mindbender, who orchestrated Prague?"
"It was Nigel Montague, son of His Grace Duke Wilfred Montague, husband of Lady Eleanor Montague. Your Father."
Okay, what.
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