Chapter 11 Pack Mentality
BPOV
They let me rest for two hours, that's it, that's all I got. Then Alice and Esme were at the door, pounding on it and yelling that if we didn't come downstairs right now they'd come in and drag us down there bodily.
I'd sighed but given in. No point arguing was there? It was three o'clock in the morning and there was no good reason why we couldn't join them all downstairs, so we just got up.
I pulled my jeans on but realized my shirt was now a rag. I had no other shirt, until morning when the deliveryman turned up, so I went through Edward's dresser and picked one of his. It was miles too big but it was soft and smelled of him, so I liked it a lot.
He grinned at me when he came out of the bathroom, looking his normal disheveled self, he crossed the room and nuzzled my neck as he inhaled into my hair.
"Miss it?" I asked.
"Love it." He whispered as he kissed my neck.
"Come on, we'll be in trouble if we don't go down there now." I swatted at his arm and he let me go.
We ran down the stairs and found them all sitting on the sofa, waiting. Eek.
I looked to Edward but he shrugged, I knew he knew what was going on but he obviously wasn't going to say.
"Come and have a seat you two." Carlisle said as we descended the last flight of stairs.
I crossed the living room and stood squarely in front of Rose and Emmett. I kneeled down so I was at eye level with them both and I looked from one to the other.
"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. Rose, it was a misunderstanding, I'd never, I've never once, I wouldn't have hurt you. I swear." I hung my head to my hands and Rose put her hand on my hair.
"It's ok Bella. I understand. I'd have done the same if I thought Emmett ever…yeah, I would have done it too. No harm, no foul eh?"
I looked up to see her smiling down at me. "Thank you." I mouthed and she nodded. I looked to Emmett, he sat impassively beside Rose, his arm across the back of the seat, watching the exchange between us. "I'm so sorry Em, please forgive me."
He let his arm drop from the back of the sofa and he leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Anytime you wanna kick Eddie's ass, I'm your go-to guy, right?" He chuckled and kissed my cheek.
"Don't call me Eddie!" Edward warned from across the room.
I sat up straighter and mouthed 'love you' at Emmett and he winked.
Edward had taken a spot on the end of the long part of the sofa and as I rose from the floor he patted the spot next to him and I leapt into it. His arm settled around my shoulders and he kissed my hair.
"So." Carlisle began. "I guess the cat is out of the bag re the cottage?" He laughed. Esme sighed, I could tell she was disappointed.
"I'm so sorry I ruined it for you all." I said, meaning it.
"Pish." Alice hissed. "You and Edward are going to go away for the weekend and we are going to finish it, and you aren't allowed anywhere near it till after you tie the knot. That might speed things up a bit." She shot at me.
"What? I can't see it till after then?" Man, they fought dirty.
"That's right. So how about you pick a date then?" Esme asked.
"But I can't be anywhere near anyone yet, and I want Charlie and Renee there at least." I was a little panicked.
"We know that Bella, and it's okay, really. We have an idea and we thought we'd run it by you both." Carlisle said.
"Ok" Edward answered for us both.
"Sam and Seth are coming here at sunrise to give us the details of the new pack and what happened at the tribunal. Sam won't pose too much of a problem for Bella but Seth is human." Carlisle said and I stiffened. I couldn't use Seth as an experiment, I wouldn't, they couldn't make me.
"Seth has started his transformation Bella. While you were changing, his fever took hold. He is a few days away from phasing for the first time, so he's human enough for this simple test, wolf enough to protect himself if he needs to." Edward told me, turning to face me.
"Oh" was all I could say. I didn't know about Seth. I'd missed so much, there was still so many things I had to do, so much I had to say. It felt like I now had eternity but still not enough hours in a day to say the things I needed to say to people. I'd only managed to get Carlisle and Esme alone so far, I had five others I wanted to talk to, not including Seth and Sam. "They'll be here soon you say?" I waited until Carlisle nodded before I continued. "Okay, I'll go along with the test then, if you will all help me?"
Everyone murmured that they would and I relaxed a little. I still didn't like the idea that Seth was going to be used as bait, but if he knew about it and everyone else would shield him from me, I would try. If I tried really hard to resist him I'd be able to get married soon, much sooner than everyone thought. I'd be able to have Charlie walk me down the aisle and I could have Angela and Ben there and it would all be perfect. I felt the faint hint of the burn as I thought about Seth and the other humans.
Alice gasped and I looked to where she was sat between Jasper's knees, her eyes were glazed and she was quite obviously in the middle of a vision. We all waited while she worked through it, then all leant forwards when it was over.
"New Years Eve wedding, I love it Bella. Fantastic idea. Esme, we've got work to do, come on." She held out her hand and Esme took it and they skipped off up the stairs without even looking back at us.
'So soon? Are they insane? That's five weeks away. That's insanity.' Edward thought and I jumped, startled that I could hear him so clearly. "What?" He asked when he felt me jump.
"You know very well that at least half of that duo is insane." I laughed as he realized I'd heard him again.
'I fucking adore you Isabella Swan.' He yelled his thoughts at me as he scooped me onto his lap and kissed me soundly on the lips, in front of everyone.
"Ahem, I'm a Cullen now, look, I have a crest and everything." I wiggled my wrist at him and he laughed heartily.
"Paybacks are a bitch, aren't they Eddie?" Emmett crowed when he realized I had heard Edward and answered his unspoken thought.
"Don't fucking call me Eddie!" Edward roared.
"Language!" Esme called from upstairs and we all fell about laughing.
EPOV
With Alice and Esme now off making wedding plans that left the rest of us at a loose end. When Bella hopped off my lap to go and sit with Rose I took the chance where I saw it and asked the lads to come down to the cottage to do some more work. To my astonishment even Carlisle agreed to come.
"What? Because I'm a surgeon you think I'm above getting my hands dirty?"He threw at me as the four of us ran at full tilt towards the little house. I shrugged my shoulders at him and punched him on the arm as I ran off ahead, he was yelling abuse at me the whole way after that.
When we got to the cottage he marveled at the changes we'd made and how far along it all was. He asked about the floors, the colours, and the bathroom – with the customary wiggle of his eyebrows no less – and then he asked if I thought Bella and Rose would be all right at the house.
"Bella always intended to speak with everyone, as alone as possible, after her change. She's getting there, slowly. I'm not helping, keeping her busy or locked away upstairs." I smirked.
"Aah, young love." He smirked back, "You'll have your hands full with Bella, she's going to keep you on your toes if she works out how to read you full time."
"Yeah. Don't I know it?" I grinned, picking up the paintbrush and standing beside him to paint the architrave around the kitchen doorframe.
I still couldn't get over how it felt knowing she could read me. It was, at once, strange and amazing and frightening. I wondered if my family thought this way about me always being able to read their thoughts? This sense of a loss of privacy, the invasion of a space that should be inherently private, safe. I didn't mind that Bella could read me, it just felt strange to know that she'd hear all my inner most thoughts and feelings.
It might help me, in a weird way, to act my age more. If I couldn't obsess over things, if she could pull me up before my thoughts got the better of me we might avoid some of what happened here tonight.
BPOV
When Edward and the boys ran off to the cottage – aargh, it was going to drive me nuts knowing about it but not being able to see it yet – I took the opportunity to stay with Rose. I still hadn't caught up with her to talk to her about what happened the day of my change, and I needed to do it before time got away from me too far.
So I slid down the sofa and sat next to her as we listened to Edward and Carlisle rib each other as they ran.
I turned to her and tucked my knee up under my butt. She must have known what I wanted to talk about because she began, where I couldn't.
"I'm sorry Bella." She said, which stunned me more than anything she could've said.
"What for Rose?" I felt like a goldfish again, sitting there with my mouth agape.
"For doing nothing that day." She hung her head and I yelped.
"No, no, don't feel that way, no Rose. I don't see that, at all." I took both her hands in mine and looked into her eyes. I could see she was in pain, because of me. "You were right, you know? It was a lot to give up, I know that now."
"You do? Do you regret it already then?" she asked, stunned.
"No, not at all. And I know why you still do, but we aren't the same Rose. I tried to explain this to Edward once, I still don't know if he understands. I'd like to try to explain it to you, if you'll let me?"
"I'd like to understand it Bella." She said softly.
"The night Edward told me what he was, what you all were, he told me that I'd never be able to have a child if I chose him. He also told me it was me making that choice, to give up my chance at motherhood, that made you dislike me so intensely." She put up her hand to stop me speaking, but I folded it into mine and kept going. "I know dislike is the wrong word, but it's how he described it at the time. I took a little time to think about all that, before I decided what I wanted. I had never thought about being a mother before, what it would mean to me, to my mom and dad. That must seem odd to you, me getting to seventeen and never having thought about it, but I hadn't, ever. When Edward said we would never be able to it hurt." She gasped. Thinking the worst I was sure.
"So you did want children and you gave it up anyway? Oh Bella. I knew it. I'm so sorry." She cried, again.
"No Rose. I'm not doing this very well. Hang on a minute. It did hurt when he said that if I chose him we'd never have a child, but not because I'd miss out on having a child, but because if I didn't choose him I'd miss out on him. I want Edward Rose, that comes at a price. I began to wonder what the women who couldn't have babies themselves, because of medical reasons or genetics, or whatever the reasons were, what they did when they found out. And they did what we'll do, they go on. They live their lives and they wonder what might have been. I'm sure some of them don't survive, and like Esme it breaks their hearts, but most of them survive it and they do their best. That's me Rose. I'll survive without it and I'll do my best to deserve the choice I made, I chose Edward."
"I didn't get to choose." She whispered.
"I know honey, I know. It was taken from you, your chance. I understand that. And that's why we're different, why I won't feel like you do in a hundred years Rose. I know you think I chose not to, but in reality I chose Edward, I gave up motherhood but I got Edward, for eternity. Fair trade, for me."
"For you." She said it very quietly and I knew she was mulling over all I'd said. "Thank you for explaining it to me. I understand a little better now. Can I ask you something please Bella?"
"Of course." I answered.
"Can I drive it, just once, before you go to the cabin tomorrow?" she laughed so loud it hurt my ears. I was so relieved the tension between us was suddenly gone that I laughed too. Soon we were both hugging and laughing and we didn't notice when the boys came to the back door and stood around pointing and laughing about the lezbo show.
Jasper elbowed Edward in the ribs and said, "See? This is just like when I caught her with Alice, in the Porsche, only she's got her top on this time." Jasper fell about laughing, Emmett and Carlisle joined in.
I looked to Edward, his face was stormy. Oops.
"Bella if you hear this, I want you, now." I saw the smirk on his face and felt my tattoo tingle. Hot damn!
I slid out of Rose's hug and told her I'd see her later. She just giggled, a real girly giggle, like I'd never heard her use before. Progress, who knew?
I walked to the backdoor, where the four boys stood abreast in the opening, I stood in front of Edward, squared my feet so I was ready to run the instant I could.
I pulled the collar of his t-shirt down and exposed my tattoo to him. I knew Jasper, who stood beside him, would see it too, but Emmett and Carlisle wouldn't. Not without leaning over, which I doubted they'd do.
The instant Edward's eyes settled on it I ran. Fast. Up the stairs and into our room. He was right behind me and I only had time to jump onto the bed before he leapt on top of me and tore the shirt off my superheated body.
Another one bites the dust, I thought, as the shirt hit the floor in tatters.
EPOV
Sam and Seth stood in the living room as humans. I knew Sam's scent would disgust Bella, as it did us all at first, but it was her reaction to Seth we were all worried about.
As the sun had crept over the river she had become less and less confident about the outcome of this little test. She didn't want to hurt Seth, or anyone, and she wouldn't be swayed by any of us that this was half the battle won.
Sam had greeted me politely, shaking my hand and enquiring after Bella's well being. I'd told him she was doing remarkably well and both he and Seth had smiled at that news.
Seth really was a very sweet boy, though even I could see the difference in him since Sunday. He'd grown in height and in build. His skin radiated his newfound heat and he held himself a little straighter as he walked. His change wasn't yet fully complete, but it wouldn't be long I guessed. From his mental thoughts he was eager for it to be over, like Bella had been, so that he could start his new life. He was also eager to see Bella, to make certain with his own eyes, that she was okay. I liked that about him, that his concern for her transcended what he was becoming.
I knew Bella was waiting for all of us to assemble before she came downstairs with Carlisle. She had asked him to come downstairs with her, which had hurt my feelings at first. But she'd explained that I would need to stay downstairs and greet both the wolves so that she could read what she could from my mind about how they felt. Carlisle would just be there for moral support if she needed him, I was the crux of the situation for her and that made me both proud and apprehensive. It was still very strange for me to have my brain picked.
Rose, Alice, Esme, Emmett and Jasper were in the living room at various strategic points, ready to pounce and pull her away if anything went wrong.
I heard them as they approached the top landing and I told Sam and Seth that she was on her way down now. I asked them to both stand very still and to not approach her unless she approached them, and even then they should be wary. I'd told them both about how she'd broken off from the hunt, but also stressed how very unusual that was and that none of us had ever encountered anything like that before, so we had no experience in this field at all.
I did my best to tell her everything was okay with my thoughts. I hope she heard me.
By the time they got to the second floor landing I could feel her fear and hear her trembling. Carlisle told me mentally that she was shaking and terrified and to prepare myself to intervene.
When she stepped off the last step I could tell she was holding her breath. I pushed positive thoughts towards her and stood beside her, with Carlisle on her right, in front of the wolves.
"Sam and Seth have both asked after your well being Bella." I started. Both the wolves stood stock-still but smiled at her. She smiled weakly back.
I put a hand under her elbow and quietly asked if she'd like to shake Seth's outstretched hand. She nodded and reached across the four feet gap between them. She took his hand and smiled warmly at him. I knew she had much to say to this brave boy and I wondered if she'd ever be able to do it.
Sam held his hand out and she took it next, shaking it enthusiastically.
"Take a breath Bella. You won't hurt me." Seth surprised me by saying in a quiet voice. "I'm so pleased to see you. I thought you were gone that day, I'm so glad you're okay." He was smiling warmly and from his thoughts I could see that he had a genuine affection for her, protective even. If asked I'd deny it, but I felt a little jealous.
"You're being silly." She whispered to me. "I'm so glad to see you too Seth. I was so worried about you." She grinned at him. She put a hand to her throat and I knew it hurt. I stood with my mouth agape, not just because of what she was doing but because she'd read me, again.
'She is truly incredible.' Carlisle thought and I smiled proudly.
"Can we sit down? Is that okay?" she looked from me to Carlisle to the boys and we all nodded. Alice and Jasper sat at the opposite end of the sofa to where Bella chose to sit. Rose, Emmett and Esme stood behind it. Bella waited until the boys had taken a seat and until both Carlisle and I flanked her before she spoke again. She was taking short, shallow breaths to minimize the amount of scent she took in but was doing remarkably well.
BPOV
"Thank you for trying to protect me Seth. It didn't work out quite the way we hoped huh?" I smiled a little at him and saw him shiver a bit.
"I don't know, you look pretty good to me, better than you did on Sunday, that's for sure." He cringed, and I watched as everyone around me cringed too, obviously recalling his or her own memories of that day.
"You've started your change too?" I asked and he nodded proudly.
"The day you woke up I got a fever. Sam talked the tribunal into letting me be his apprentice." He spoke with such pride, I was happy for him. He'd gotten what he wanted too, but for us both it had come at a price. I thought of their loss of Jacob and sighed. I took another short, sharp breath to stave off the thirst that was wracking my body.
"I'm sorry for your loss." I hung my head, knowing it was because of me that they lost one of their own.
"Thank you." Sam spoke in a very deep, hushed tone. "The tribunal has asked me to pass on its gratitude to you for protecting Seth that day Bella. On behalf of the new pack we thank you, also." He bowed his head to me.
I put my hand to my throat and Edward gripped my other hand tightly in his.
"I didn't really do anything, it was Esme." I gestured to where she stood and she put her hand over her heart and I copied it immediately.
"Thank you too, Esme." Sam said, bowing his head again.
"It was my pleasure. It's lovely to see you again Seth. Please say you'll visit us often?" He nodded as she smiled down at him from the back of the sofa.
"I'd like to relay to you what the tribunal has said." Sam looked to Edward and Carlisle and I knew he wanted to speak to the men only. It didn't irritate me at all, I was happy to leave them to it. I needed to hunt, now.
"Alice, will you come with me?" I nodded towards the back door and she stood, motioning for me to take her hand. I turned back to Edward as I stood and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I wont be long." I turned back to Seth and Sam and wished them all luck and to come and visit me soon. Then I took Alice's hand and we ran off towards the river.
"Wow Alice. Just wow. I did it." I stood on the jetty sucking in great gulps of clean air. She was jumping from foot to foot clapping her hands.
"I knew you could do it. We all did. Well, Emmett and Jasper had a stupid bet, but the rest of us knew you could do it. I'm so happy for you Bella. You'll be able to get married now!" She jumped up and down again and I joined her. I would be able to get married now!
"I'll ask you about the bet later, I need to hunt now Alice. Like now, now." I said.
"No problems. Lets go the other way up the river, you'll be sick of deer by now I'm guessing?" She asked and I nodded vehemently.
She took my hand and we ran. It was fun running with Alice, she didn't take the conventional route anywhere. She leapt up into trees, jumped off branches and launched us both off rocks and outcrops as we went up river. As we came to a little sandy reach in the river we slowed. We'd both smelled the caribou nearby, so Alice squeezed my hand and took off to the east. I stood still and took a deep pull of the smell and decided to come around from the north, hoping to cash in on my luck as they fled from Alice.
I heard hers fall to the ground and then her groan as she sunk her teeth into it and I prepared to leap on the first one that came through the break in the trees. My plan worked perfectly and soon I was sinking my teeth into my own meal. I closed my eyes and let the warm, sticky fluid run thickly down my throat. It was marginally better than the deer but nowhere near as satisfying as the carnivore had been. But it was warm and thick so I drank it down hungrily.
I heard Alice coming back through the trees and I stood and wiped my mouth as she joined me. "Feel better?" she asked.
"Yep. You?" I asked.
"Always." She grinned. She took my hand again and swung it between us as we walked back in the direction of the house.
"Have you seen it yet?" I asked.
"Yep." She popped the p. "It's gorgeous. I'll order it tomorrow. Does that mean we're on for New Year's Eve then?" She turned and began walking backwards, smiling widely at me.
"I suppose it does, yes. Are you really going to order my dress tomorrow? Should I at least see it?"
"I've already seen that you love it, so why bother with the details?" She turned back around and we walked normally for a bit. "I've seen what you want to say to me too, so you may as well just get it over with." She huffed.
"Oh Alice, there's so much I want to say to you. I don't know where to start." I meant it too. I owed Alice so much.
"Just say what you feel Bella. You know I love you and I'd never judge you for anything."
"Thanks Alice, I love you too, you know? You're the best sister I could have ever wished for." She grinned at that. "I heard you that day, you know? After Carlisle had begun my change. I could still hear everything. You sat with Edward and told him how guilty you felt, how sorry you were that you were too late to stop it."
"I was, I am, I still do feel guilty for that." She whispered as we sidestepped a fallen log.
"You don't need to, you know? This is what I wanted all along. I'm happier now than I've ever been. The circumstances weren't ideal, I'll grant you, and I'd much rather none of you had to suffer through that with me, but all things considered I'm pretty lucky."
"How can you say that Bella? After what we've put you through already?" She stopped walking and tugged me to a stop so she could shout that at me.
"Of course I'm lucky Alice, I not only got Edward but I got you all as well. But you especially. I've been an only child my whole life, I always dreamed of a sister, and I got you." I waited until she began walking again. "Thank you for what you did for me last night too." I shuddered at the memory, knowing I was quite happy to kill them both.
"No thanks necessary. It happens. A lot. We're a pretty volatile group, lots of strange dynamics. You'd be surprised at the misunderstandings that go on here. Highly sensitive hearing isn't all its cracked up to be sometimes." She winced at a memory.
We kept walking and I thought about what I wanted to ask her next. She'd probably already heard me ask in her head, so I knew being nervous was a waste of energy. "Hey Alice, will you be my bridesmaid?" I said it quietly, hoping she'd hear the emotion in my voice.
I guess she picked up on it because she flung herself at me and hugged me tightly. "Oh thank you thank you thank you." She wailed, kissing me on the cheek over and over.
"Calm down Alice, its only going to be a small thing anyway." I cringed.
"Mmm hmm. Sure it is." And she took off, running towards the house. Oh no, what's she planning now?
EPOV
As the truck rumbled up the driveway I asked Bella if she wanted to wait upstairs while it was unloaded. She seemed to think hard about that for a few seconds then she took a deep breath and shook her head no. She'd done equally as well when the UPS guy had arrived with her new clothes as she had this morning with Seth and Sam so I guessed she was beginning to trust herself a little more each time. She pulled a pair of dark black sunglasses out of her jeans pocket and slipped them on to cover her red eyes.
The closer the truck came to the house the higher her hand crept up her throat and I knew the burn had begun. She was astonishingly good at resisting but I knew how much it hurt her to do it. I remembered that burn so well, having lived through it everyday to be with her. Of course I felt the same initial sting as the driver got down out of his cab, clipboard in hand, and walked to where we were stood on the stairs. But I had had a century to learn to deal with it, ignore it, and I knew she ached as she stood beside me.
"Stop thinking about it Edward, god." She whispered to me and I winced. I was not enjoying being read so far.
"You Edward Cullen?" the driver read off his clipboard and I nodded. "Sign here." He pointed to where my signature needed to go and I passed him the page back when I was done. "You Bella Swan?" He asked gruffly. I was about to remind him that he was speaking to a lady and that perhaps some manners might be in order, when Bella giggled.
"What?" I asked her as she handed the clipboard back.
"Nothing." She whispered in reply and I saw her mouth purse with the humor she found somewhere around us. "I'll tell you later. Look." She pointed to the trailer of the truck and we both smirked in satisfaction as the shiny black Lotus came rolling off the back. "Oh she's gorgeous!" Bella was hopping from foot to foot now, she was so excited I could smell her as she bounced.
"Well, go on then." I said. She looked at me cautiously, probably wondering if she could trust herself to only run towards the car and not the driver. I grabbed her hand and we ran towards the beautiful car.
I watched in a daze of love and lust as she circled it, stalked it almost, running her hand along the long plane of the cars body. She dipped down as she came to the rear end and I heard her soft giggle again as she ran a hand over the scoop.
She paused again to inspect the bright red brake calipers, they were the same colour as her eyes I thought idly. She opened the drivers' door and I heard her draw in a deep satisfied breath as the new car smell hit her nostrils. She stood a full foot taller than the car and she looked over the top of it towards where I stood beside the passenger door and smile beautifully at me and then she sank into the leather seat.
"Oh god, its better than I remembered Edward." she crowed in satisfaction.
I looked through the window and felt myself harden as I watched her. I shifted my weight awkwardly and dove my hands into my pockets to adjust myself before the driver returned with my car. I still didn't know if Bella knew what I was getting, or whether she realized I was getting anything at all. I assumed she'd have picked it out of my head before now, so I waited to see and hear her reaction as the back end of my Bugatti Veyron slid elegantly down the trailer and onto the gravel drive.
It was such a dark blue that it was almost black. I held my breath as the entirety of it was revealed to me as it rolled to a stop beside the Lotus. The driver got out and tossed the keys to me. "Awesome car. You're a lucky son-of-a-bitch." He said as I caught the keys.
"Tell me about it." I said smugly as I looked from Bella to my car. You have no idea buddy, no idea at all how lucky I am.
