Author's note: Thank you guys for being such amazing followers and for all the nice and motivating reviews :)

Here's a little heart-to-heart between two characters which I believe to have a beautiful relationship.

I hope you enjoy and I'll try to upload again tomorrow, but I can't promise you anything.

However, here you go.


TEN

reminiscence

rɛmɪˈnɪs(ə)ns/

noun

1. a story told about a past event remembered by the narrator.

"his reminiscences of his early days in Parliament"

2. a characteristic of one thing that is suggestive of another.

"his first works are too full of reminiscences of earlier poetry"

synonym

1. recollections

2. memories

3. reflections


Excerpt from 'Haze'

"She had to go earlier today. She asked me to make sure you were okay and to tell you that she'll be back by lunch time." he heard Nancy say, her voice as motherly and soft as no other he had ever heard.

He nodded and watched her take his blood and check his heart rate whilst she started talking about the weather and the nurses and doctors – small talk. But Deeks wasn't listening.

She had to go? Where?

The doctors had told them that there was a very high probability that he would suffer from amnesia once he woke up. But none of them had truly believed it. Kensi, because she had been convinced that only happened to the weakest. Julia, because she hadn't wanted to see her little family go through more than they had already gone through.

"Shhhhh" she made in an attempt to make her daughter stop crying but it only got worse.

What had he always told Kensi, when she was upset or frightened? Good. "It's gonna be all good"


August 2018 – 4 years after the crash

The sun was already colliding with the horizon when she noticed him move next to her. Curiously she got up from her seat and walked over to his bed.

"How are you feeling?" her familiar voice filled the room and she noticed him take a deep breath.

"Hetty?" it was more of a sighed statement than a question. "Did something happen?" suddenly he sat up and looked at her with his worried blue puppy eyes. "Is Kensi alright?"

"Relax, Mr. Deeks. She is just fine. She went to get a coffee from the cafeteria. Nell is with her." she consoled the worried man and watched him relax and fall back into the pillows. She frowned at him.

"I take it you haven't talked to Kensi much about me yet, have you?" he concluded. Judging from the way she was being around him she was obviously expecting him to be – well different.

"No" she started, sitting down next to his bed. "No, I have not. In fact, I have not talked to Miss Blye at all, since you woke up".

Again the older woman frowned and he felt like this talk would be just a heartbreaking to her as it had been to his partner.

"Well, maybe you should" he tried to smile but he could not even force one to appear on his face. He knew that for some reason it was way more serious than it seemed to be and he despised his mind for not allowing him to know what was really happening.

"Is there something I should now, Mr. Deeks?" now there was even some angst in her voice – or at least that was what it seemed like to Deeks. Maybe she was simply worried and his mind was playing with him, again.

"I'm not sure" he started and now it was him who was scared. In fact he had been scared all along, only now he showed it. "I don't know what's going on, Hetty" he wailed and his eyes teared up. "I have no idea what the hell is going on. Kensi acts like everything is alright but at the same time I know that she is hiding something from me. She keeps asking me what the last thing I remember is and I just can't seem to please her with my answers...I-" he had to silence himself in order to not burst out into tears. He hadn't want anyone to see him like this but he just didn't know how to feel, how to act.

"Well,...what is the last thing you remember?" Hetty finally asked after allowing him to pull himself back together.

"I'm not sure" he looked at her, his eyes still wet, his jaw tense and his hands clenched into fists. "I thought it was the time when we were investigating Donald Blye's murder but-" Hetty's deep sigh interrupted his memories.

"What?" he asked, this time he could hear his own voice's echo through the room – full of anxiety and impatience.

"Oh, Bugger" he heard her whisper and, on the contrary to Kensi, she was making him realize how far away from 'now' his memories were.

"Hetty, honestly – how long exactly have I been in a coma?" he finally asked but he could see in her eyes that she was not going to answer his question so easily.

"First, what is the last thing you truly remember, Mr. Deeks?" for the first time in his life Deeks caught Hetty trying to avoid eye contact. He frowned but at the same time it made the whole situation seem even more serious, and more vulnerable than he had imagined.

"I-, I believe it's a case Kensi and I worked on. I think we were...house sitting? The last thing I remember is falling asleep next to Kensi in that house it's just-" he shook his head and stopped himself for a minute.

"It's just what, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty finally looked at him again and this time her eyes weren't asking, they were demanding.

"In one moment it's a big room, bright with white big pillows on the bed and Kensi about an arms length away and then...the next moment it's another room, not so big but still bright. Blue pillows and-" he swallowed and then looked into Hetty's eyes. "And Kensi's cuddling up to me, I'm not wearing a shirt anymore and she's just, just in underwear."

He could see Hetty nod and he knew that something about what he had just told her was 'right'. "Well,.." the woman said, more to herself than to him.

"Hetty, what does that mean?" he asked quietly, not so sure if he truly wanted to know. If they had been happy and he now had forgotten everything – why would he want to know what had been and isn't anymore?

"How is your heart, Marty?" Hetty now sounded even more familiar to him than ever before.

"My heart?" he seemed confused but took a look at his heart rate, anyways. "Good, I think"

She shook her head and he knew that this time the answer had been wrong.

"What do you feel?" the question came with caution and he felt like walking on thin ice that was about to crack.

"About Kensi?" he asked as cautious as she had asked and Hetty nodded. "She's my partner" he stated and felt forced to continue as she kept staring at him. "I like her, a lot"

"Do you love her?" to Deeks the question came unexpected and he did not know how to react or even answer it.

"Maybe, I don't know. I mean, I like her. She's beautiful and funny and smart, but I couldn't tell you whether I love her or not – I mean it's been barely two years and I know we see each other every day but-"

"Eight" she interrupted him and made him shut up completely for at least another ten minutes in which they just sat there, not even looking at each other.

That he had to let sink in first. Eight. That could have meant anything but he did not need to ask in order to understand what it really meant.

He was sure it took him way more than ten simple minutes to talk again but the clock on the wall said otherwise. The sun, at least, was already halfway gone and the darkness was painting shadows on each building.

"Eight years?" he asked, barely whispering.

"I am afraid so" Hetty cautiously replied and reached out for his hand. "You will get through this, Martin. We all will. You have a family with NCIS and with-" she shook her head and tried again. "We are all here for you, this is not a battle you are going to fight on your own" she put all of her heart into every single word and he knew she was promising him all he needed at that moment – support.

"Thank you" he finally smiled a quiet but not a forced smile and slightly squeezed her small hand. "Thank you, Hetty"


"I'm going to be with you every step of the way. Even if you don't see me, I'll be there." - Marty Deeks