Scene 9
A PERFORMANCE OF 'IL MUTO' BY ALBRIZZI0
(During the overture SPYRO, ZAP and BASH take their respective seats - SPRYO in Box Five, the MANAGERS in a box opposite)
SPYRO: Gentlemen, if you would care to take your seats? I shall be sitting in Box Five.
ZAP: Do you really think that's wise, monsieur?
SPYRO: My dear Andre, there would appear to be no seats available, other than Box Five . . .
(The front cloth rises to reveal an 18th Century salon, a canopied bed centre-stage. The COUNTESS is played by EMBER. SERAFIMO, the page boy, is disguised as her maid and is played by CYNDER. At this point they are hidden behind the drapes of the bed, which are drawn. In the room are TWO EPICENE MEN: one a HAIRDRESSER (GHOST ROASTER) and one a JEWELLER (CHOP CHOP). The JEWELLER is attended by STEALTH ELF. There is also an OLDER WOMAN (NINJINI), the COUNTESS' confidante. All a part from STEALTH ELF are gossiping with relish about he COUNTESS' current liaison with SERAFIMO)
NINJINI: They say that this youth has set my Lady's heart aflame!
GHOST ROASTER: His Lordship sure would die of shock!
CHOP CHOP: His Lordship is a laughing-stock!
NINJINI: Should he suspect her God protect her!
ALL THREE: Shame! Shame! Shame! This faithless lady's bound for Hades! Shame! Shame! Shame!
(The canopy drapes part and we see the COUNTESS kissing SERAFIMO passionately. As the recitative begins, the lights and music dim on stage, and our attention turns to the MANAGERS in their box)
IN THE BOX
ZAP: Nothing like the old operas!
BASH: Or the old scenery . . .
ZAP: The old singers . . .
BASH: The old audience . . .
ZAP: And every seat sold!
BASH: Hardly a disaster beyond all imagination!
(They chuckle and nod to RAOUL in the opposite box. He acknowledges them)
ON STAGE
EMBER: Serafimo - your disguise is perfect. (A knock at the door) Who can this be?
GILL GRUNT: Gentle wife, admit your loving husband.
ATTENTION BACK ON STAGE
(EMBER admits GILL GRUNT. He is an old fool)
GILL GRUNT: My love - I am called to England on affairs of State, and must leave you with your new maid. (Aside) Though I'd happily take the maid with me.
EMBER (aside): The old fool is leaving!
GILL GRUNT (aside): I suspect my young bride is untrue to me. I shall not leave, but shall hide over there to observe her!
GILL GRUNT (to EMBER): Addio!
EMBER: Addio!
BOTH (to each other): Addio!
(He goes, pretending to leave, then hides and watches the action)
COUNTESS (EMBER): Serafimo - away with this pretence! (She rips off SERAFIMO'S skirt to reveal his manly breeches) You cannot speak, but kiss me in my husband's absence! Poor fool, he makes me laugh! Haha, Haha! etc. Time I tried to get a better better half !
EMBER AND CHORUS: Poor fool, he doesn't know! Hoho, Hoho! etc. If he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go!
(Suddenly from nowhere, we hear the voice of MALEFOR)
MALEFOR'S VOICE: Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty for me?!
STEALTH ELF (terrified): He's here: the Phantom of the Opera . . .
(General reaction of bewilderment. CYNDER looks fearfully about her)
CYNDER: It's him . . . I know it . . . it's him . . .
EMBER (Finding a scapegoat in CHRISTINE, hisses at her): Your part is silent, little toad!
(But MALEFOR has heard her)
MALEFOR'S VOICE: A toad, Madame? Perhaps it is you who are the toad . . .
(Again general unease. EMBER and TREE REX confer and pick up from the opening of the scene)
EMBER (As the COUNTESS): Serafimo, away with this pretence! You cannot speak, but kiss me in my (croak)!
(Instead of singing she emits a great croak like a toad. A stunned silence. EMBER is as amazed as anyone but regains herself and continues. More perturbing, however, is a new sound: the PHANTOM is laughing - quietly at first, then more and more hysterically)
EMBER (as the COUNTESS): Poor fool, he makes me laugh -Hahahahaha!(Croak, croak, croak,croak, croak, croak, etc.)
(As before. MALEFOR'S laughter rises. The croaking continues as the chandelier's lights blink on and off. The MALEFOR'S laughter, by this time overpowering, now crescendos into a great cry):
MALEFOR'S VOICE: Behold! She is singing to bring down the chandelier!
(EMBER looks tearfully up at the MANAGERS ' box and shakes her head)
EMBER: Non posso piu . . . I cannot . . . I cannot go on . . .
FLAME (rushing on): Ember, ember . . . I'm here . . . is all right . . . Come . . . I'm here . . .
(ZAP and BASH hurry out of the box onto the stage. FLAME ushers the now sobbing EMBER offstage, while the MANAGERS tackle the audience)
BASH: Ladies and gentlemen, the performance will continue in ten minutes' time . . . (He addresses Box Five, keeping one eye on the chandelier as it returns to normal) . . . when the role of the Countess will be sung by Miss Cynder!
ZAP (improvising): In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, we shall be giving you the ballet from Act Three of tonight's opera. (to TREE REX)Maestro - the ballet - now!
(The MANAGERS leave, the stage is cleared and music starts again. The BALLET GlRLS enter as a sylvan glade flies in. They begin the Dance of the Country Nymphs. Upstage, behind the drop, a series of threatening shadows of MALEFOR. STEALTH ELF is aware of them and dances out of step. When this culminates in one gigantic, oppressive, bat-like shadow, the garroted body of SPARX falls onto the stage, causing the sylvan glade to fly out. Pandemonium ensues.)
CYNDER (calling for help): Spyro! Spyro! (Spyro runs on stage and embraces her)
SPYRO (to Cynder, leading her away): Cynder, come with me . . .
CYNDER: No. . . to the roof. We'll be safe there.
(CYNDER and SPYRO hurry off)
BASH (Attempting to placate the audience as STAGE-HANDS and POLICEMEN crowd onto the stage): Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats. Do not panic. It was an accident . . . simply an accident . . .
