After the Storm 11

I don't own these characters; I just like to spend time with them. No other profit to be had than that.

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Nathan sat in his office, blankly staring at the wood paneled wall. Splayed across the large desk in front of him, was a stack of paperwork he was supposed to be working on, but he didn't seem to notice it. His mind was not on his work, rather than a small hospital room, with a lone still figure in it.

He had received the wire from Dillon, and after checking the train schedule, knew he would be arriving in a couple of hours. He at first thought to go to the station and pick the man up, but he decided against it. Dillon had turned his back on Kitty when she had needed him most, and Nathan wasn't forgetting that.

Of course the fact that Nathan loved the beautiful red head also played a part in his feelings, but regardless of that, he was not going to extend any courtesies, to any man, who would abandon a woman, pregnant with his child.

Why Dillon was even coming was a mystery to Nathan. But he wasn't going to question it. The only important thing was Kitty and her son. And though Nathan hated it, Dillon was the best thing for the both of them right now. He just might be the only one that could keep Kitty from losing her son.

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Matt squirmed in his too small seat, until he could stand it no longer. His long legs were too cramped, and his mind too full of sad images to continue to sit. Doc sat across from him, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed, hat tilted down and fast asleep.

Rising slowly and quietly so as not to disturb him, Matt got up and left the car, heading for the platform for some air.

Standing out there, provided relief for his legs but not his troubled soul. His emotions were in a swirl. Worry, grief, guilt all climbed on top of more worry, grief and guilt. The cold air and clacking of the steel wheels on rails, seemed to be mocking him.

In Matt's mind, he had made so many mistakes, and ruined so many things, and if Kitty wasn't alright when he got there, he wasn't sure what he would do..

She had always been important to him, always been the one person he loved beyond all others, but as he thought about it, he decided that loving her hadn't been enough. He should've been there for her more times, and let his job take a back seat occasionally, instead of the other way around. But he hadn't.

Unbeknownst to Matt, Doc woke when Matt rose, and watched him walk out of the car. He knew Matt well enough to know how he was feeling. And Doc knew there was nothing he could say to help. He just needed to be there, ready to listen when called upon.

Doc turned his thinking to Kitty. Lord, he had missed that girl. She had very much been the daughter he had never had, and it liked to killed him when he had to turn a cold shoulder to her, back in Dodge. He knew Matt wasn't the only one who was going to have to work to regain the trust and love that Kitty had once given so freely.

Sighing he sat up in the seat, shifting uncomfortably several times, before finally stiffly rising, and heading out to the platform to find Matt.

Matt stood outside the train car on the platform, anxiously waiting for the train to pull into the station. It had been over twenty fours hours since they had left Dodge, and he was impatient to get there, to see Kitty. He didn't know what he and Doc would find when they arrived, but as long as Kitty was alive, and he could get to her, he would deal with it.

"We should be pulling in pretty soon, shouldn't we?" Doc asked, as he stepped out on the platform with Matt. He noted the territory they were passing through was becoming more and more urban.

Matt nodded not taking his eyes off the rails. "Yeah," was all he would trust himself to say.

"How's your shoulder?" Doc prodded.

"Fine," another one syllable answer.

Doc knew where Matt's mind was at, and he completely understood, as he shared the same concern. But he had seen Matt in this kind of mood before, and he was worried about him. "Matt, I don't know what will happen when we get there, but you need to settle down some before we do. Kitty's gonna need you to be there for her."

Matt looked rather sadly at Doc. "I know Doc." He answered softly. "But it's just not knowing how she is and yet knowing she wouldn't have even been in Boston if I had of 'been there' for her back in Dodge. You know, if you look at it right, her being hurt is my fault."

"Matt, that's not true and you know it. You didn't do anything but try and protect her. And I'll tell you something else, Kitty won't need your guilt" Doc said sternly "but she is going to need your strength and your love. So will your child."

Matt turned away from Doc and studied the passing rails again. "I keep trying to remember that, Doc, but then I begin to wonder. You know, I don't know even know if I have a son or a daughter, or even if….." He couldn't give words to that worry.

Doc understood anyway. "Now you can just stop thinking like that right now, Mr. Marshal. It won't help anything."

Matt nodded but kept his silence. The trouble was he didn't know. He didn't know the sex of his child or if the child even existed. He didn't know if Kitty was still alive, or if once again he was too late. He just didn't know, and that not knowing was tearing him apart.

Doc studied Matt, then the passing scenery. "We'll be pulling in pretty soon I expect. Better go get our bags and get ready."

Matt nodded again as he looked around, then followed Doc back in, as the train finally began to pull into the station.

TBC