As Juliet slept, he watched her sleep…amazed that she could feel safe sleeping beside him, even after all that had happened…after all that he had done.
James, however, wouldn't sleep; no, not on this night: knowing what was to come the next day, knowing that it could not be prevented. Knowing that, no matter how much he wished that some cataclysmic event could stop time from continuing, nothing could stop his life from being turned upside down, from taking away everything that was familiar, that he knew and loved. For at this same time in Jasper, Alabama, a small boy was sleeping…completely unaware that something would happen that would change him forever, and his life would never be the same.
There was a time zone difference of some kind between here and the USA, but he couldn't remember for the life of him what it was…not that any of that mattered; after all, he was somehow living a life in 1976, and that alone was enough to make his head spin….How had it happened? Oh yes: a bright flash of light, and then many more to follow…and time would do something he never knew possible, somehow making everything impossible plausible…including Juliet. Juliet: a woman so beautiful and put together that he never suspected she could ever love someone like him….and yet, she had offered herself to him, as a new beginning…and possibly (could it be possible?) be someone he could let himself love, too.
Love her he did, and dearly…there was nothing he wouldn't do for her, for Juliet was the love of his life. She was everything to him that he had wished for in a woman…beautiful, sweet, smart, thoughtful...able to match his wits, and back him up if he ever needed it…Juliet was all this and more, and he loved her with a love he never knew possible.
Before now, he'd never been able to bring himself to leave her side…but tonight, he knew he couldn't stay.
He loved her too much, and to stay was to risk everything…so in the dead of the night, he stole from the bed, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and left without warning or saying goodbye-because he had decided that, this time, he was not coming back.
The moon was bright above the barracks; casting strange shadows and making him blink unwillingly against the light. All was quiet as James slipped silently behind the wheel of the Dharma van that the Initiative had given him with their ultimate trust. (No one would question its disappearance, for they would know soon enough why he had gone.) He knew that if anyone would see him leaving, it would be Miles, who was on night watch in the security station…but all of that didn't matter, because all Miles wanted was that he wouldn't return, and so there was no reason to worry.
He drove to the edge of the grounds and then past the Pylons, standing tall like proud giants against the strangely bright sky…not caring if the unearthly "Smoke Thing" was anywhere within earshot, because even if It was, well…none of that really mattered, and so James kept driving until he reached his destination: North Point.
North Point was one of the several high cliffs that overlooked the great sea. Sometimes he'd come out here to think when there wasn't anything to do and Juliet was working; sometimes, they'd both come out here to have picnics, and the views were definitely worth the trip; you could see water for miles, as well as several mountaintops full of lush expansive greenery.
It was in fact recently that they had come here. James recalled wistfully the kisses and secrets that they had shared; holding each other close as they lay beside one another, all the while listening to the consistent roar of the waves luring them asleep like a sweet lullaby. Why couldn't things still be that simple? he wondered, knowing the questions were in vain…Why couldn't things just stay the same?
He uncorked the beer and took a few ceremonious sips; though the liquor tasted more bitter than usual on his tongue, still he kept drinking, until his stomach burned along with the pain and regret, and he couldn't think of much else except for what he had come for.
Before he could hesitate, he took a few swaggering steps forward and, for some time, stared nostalgically out at the sea. "To you, Juliet," he whispered lovingly to the waves, finishing the last of the beer and hurling it over the ledge.
He was amazed when a voice-though not Juliet's-answered, nearly causing him to jump out of his skin with alarm: "Jim!" was the shout, "Don't do it Jim!"
James froze.
It was Miles…somehow…speaking to him, from inside the van… "I know you can hear me," the voice was shouting again, "come on man, pick it up!"
James nearly staggered into the side of the vehicle, numb with shock, having to hold onto the van for support, hearing his own breath with the force of the waves in his ears. "What?" he mumbled, only to be followed by occasional static, and then, "The walkie, Jim, Jesus!" yelled a fed-up Miles-and that was when it finally dawned on him that the walkie-talkie was in the backseat.
Impulse screamed at him to just leave it alone, but he was suddenly curious as to why Miles was demanding his attention…and he might as well let Miles know he was getting what he wanted. Before he could rethink his decision, he dove into the back, snatched the walkie and snapped-barely recognizing his voice above the world-weary slur-"This better be good-"
"Are you out of your mind?" Miles was shouting, as though not even hearing what he'd just said. "You know what Juliet would do, if she knew you were out here? I know what you're thinking, LaFleur-"
"You think I actually give a crap what you think, Miyagi?" James hissed. His head was pounding above the surf, and he wanted to hurl the walkie out into the sea along with the bottle…and yet…some part of him really wanted to know. "Last I recall…you were having loads of fun while bashing my skull in….now I'm supposed to believe you give two cents about my life? Well I'm sorry to disappoint you Mr. Indiana's sidekick," he snarled, knowing the racist statement was sure to shut Miles up, "but you don't know me as well as you think you do-"
"I know what's going on, Jim." The statement was spoken with great severity and sincere conviction, and it felt as though every inch of him froze, and he couldn't breathe. Before he could respond, Miles spoke again, this time the words were barely able to be heard above the static on his end-"I know about tomorrow," declared Miles gravely. Then, after a lengthy moment of debate: "I know about your parents…" After which a tentative attempt at what was (to James) an incredulous idea of a truce was added: "…okay?"
As Miles trailed off, James nearly lost his footing. No…she couldn't have told him…this was not happening. "Oh what the hell-oh fucking goddamned Sonofabitch-!" His head was threatening to spin out of control and before he knew what was happening James had sunk to his knees on the moist hard ground, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. "What the hell did you just say to me?" he spoke through clenched teeth loudly into the receiver, his voice muffled by his arms and unwelcome Earth, "You better repeat what you just said to me, Miles," he added, his voice, haggard with weariness and shock, almost transforming into an unrestricted growl. "How dare you-" An overwhelming nausea swept over him and he had to swallow back bile before continuing, "you have no idea what you're talking about!" he shouted in spite of the lump as large as a rock threatening to burst in his throat, "whoever told you this twisted story, they got the fucking facts wrong…and I want to know dammit, who the hell it was that told you alright? I WANNA KNOW!" he screamed against the pounding of the surf, his fist striking the ground, slamming hard, not even caring if he came away with blood on his hands, because there was already blood there; had been, for a very long time, ever since he had killed the wrong man in Sydney…ever since he hadn't been able to kill the right one. "Dammit Miles!" he shouted, "you better have an answer for me!"
"Jim-listen-don't do anything-stay there-me-okay?-coming-" The words were breaking up, but he didn't care, all he wanted was to know who had betrayed him. He didn't understand how anyone besides Juliet would know about him…Ben was only a youngster; Ben was the one who had lead the group who had interfered with him and the others…who had intruded upon his personal history…
"Goddamn you!" He was nearly blind with rage as he repeatedly kicked the van repeatedly over and over, "Goddamn all of you!" He couldn't bear to think that Juliet had told someone; had betrayed him. Could she have told Miles? Why would Miles care whether he lived or died? None of it made any sense, and he didn't want to care any more whether it did or it didn't…he only wanted to be left alone in his misery, left to do with the remaining time here on Earth as he pleased.
After all, his watch told him midnight was near, and dawn would soon be on the horizon…coming to take him away…
