The Big O and all of its settings and characters are owned by Bandai Visual, Sunrise, and Cartoon Network.

THE BIG O:

ACT 33

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Chapter Eleven: Hell Hath No Fury

"Dorothy!" Roger cried, helpless as he watched the young android stick to the electromagnet hanging above like a bug stuck on flypaper. He had backed away when the gangsters burst into the warehouse, so Dorothy was hanging directly above the empty space between the blackclad negotiator and Crater's men.

"Say your prayers, negotiator!" Crater growled as he scuttled to his feet and hid his extra limbs under his flowing cape. "Boys, take Mister Smith out to the end of the pier and take him for a swim."

"With pleasure boss," the lead gangster said as they started forward. "Hey!" Suddenly, Crater's men had to grip their pistols with both hands. Then their guns were wrenched from their hands and flew up in the air to stick on the suspended electromagnet with Dorothy. Switchblades flew out of their jackets to join them as well as a set of brass knuckles made from an iron alloy.

Crater's eyes might have been almost all pupil, but he still managed to roll them.

"Sorry boss," Trigger called from the control cab of the electromagnet. "Do you want me to let the android go?"

"Naw he's still just one man," Crater purred as he adjusted his tie and straightened his sports jacket. "We can take him. Anything you want to say, Smith?"

Roger loosened his tie. "You don't want to do this," he warned as Crater's men armed themselves with pipes and tools from nearby storage bins. In the blink of an eye they had surrounded the negotiator and were creeping towards him brandishing their improvised weapons. Roger's eyes narrowed in steely resolve.

Rather than letting them attack first, Roger made his move. He kicked the man on the right of him in the stomach before giving an identical kick to the man on his left. He ducked to avoid the pipe being swung by the man in front of him before delivering a blow to his jaw and sending him tumbling to the ground. He leaned backwards and turned to stick his elbow in the man who was lunging at his back and managed to get him in a head lock. He kicked at a second man in front of him before he finished hoisting his head locked victim over his body and headfirst onto the floor in front of him.

He ducked a blow from his left as an opponent swung a pipe that was as long as a pool cue at him before closing the distance and stepping on his assailant's foot. The man cried out as Roger seized him with one hand and used him as a shield to block a blow from an attacker with a wrench.

The negotiator leaned forward to kick at an opponent behind him before ducking low under an attacker who was coming at him with a long sweeping kick of his own. Roger karate chopped the kicker's knee and sent him spinning to the floor.

An attacker with a lead pipe moved in close so Roger caught him in a choke hold while striking him to the chest. His assailant groaned and collapsed, allowing Roger to use him as a human shield.

There was a pause as the gangsters absorbed what had just happened. Roger had absorbed a kick from an android before taking eight of their number out of the fight. And his hair wasn't messed up.

Roger threw the limp gangster at the ones in front of him before turning to kick a man behind him. Roger now had the pipe that he had confiscated from the man he had choked, but when a gangster charged him he kicked him in the chest without even needing to block with his makeshift baton.

He used it on the next man though, but when he knocked that guy senseless the gangster fell on the baton and Roger was unable to use it. Worse yet, the man was holding onto the negotiator's arm for dear life so Roger was forced to flail and kick at his attackers until he could free himself. A wide arcing kick from left to right sent a man tumbling to the ground and Roger managed to throw the man on his arm into another guy.

When Roger grabbed the weapon hand of a man with a large wrench he himself was seized from behind. Roger elbowed the opponent behind him in the face, but although the man fell back he didn't fall down and he didn't let go of Roger's blazer either. Roger shrugged off the blazer, turned and kicked the man in the ribs and then spun and caught the man's neck with his blazer to both choke and immobilize him. He had his captive pressed back to back to him while he held the sleeves of his double breasted jacket behind his neck.

Roger flipped the foe he had pinned to his back over him to block the attacks from his front, but he found himself again seized by a choke hold from behind. He elbowed his opponent in the solar plexus before pulling an arm off his neck. He then kicked the crook in the face sending him to the floor.

Roger removed his tie and held it like a garrote as a foe with a box cutter lunged at him. He caught the man around the throat before flinging him away.

Two men lunged at him. One had a long pipe that Roger seized to push them back so he could kick them. Another man with a long pipe thrust at Roger and forced him to lean back at an awkward angle to avoid being skewered.

The thrust had torn his shirt open, so Roger jumped into the air and spun three hundred and sixty degrees while removing it. He used his shirt to choke his foe while kicking at him with all his strength.

Roger's muscular arms were exposed to view but his torso was concealed by a bullet proof vest that seemed to be composed of a layer of silver dollar sized disks bound in synthetic black fabric. It was now fairly obvious why the blows to Roger's gut weren't having the effect the gangsters expected.

During the battle Jenny opened her eyes to discover that she was lying on the floor of the warehouse. When Crater's goons had stormed in they knocked her to the floor and she had hit her head. She blinked and tried to focus as Roger fought off a mob of gangsters with blinding acrobatic speed! It was amazing! How long could he keep it up? Surely those tiny robots Roger had in his cells must have gifted the negotiator with reflexes that an android would envy but it wouldn't be long before his body used up its energy. Then Roger would be history. She had to get out of here without drawing attention to herself.

By now there were less mobsters coming for him making it easier to take them one at a time. Sometimes he had ten entire feet between himself and his remaining foes before they would gather their courage and lunge for him.

"Roger!" Dorothy's voice called from above. "The sniper!"

The sniper! It would do Roger no good to drive them off because then the thug in the control cab would get him! Roger may have lost his blazer, shirt, and tie but he still had his watch. Activating a hidden stud on his watch, the negotiator sent a slender steel cable out from his wrist that wrapped around an I-beam girder that supported the roof. By reeling the line in, Roger pulled himself away from his opponents up into the roof where he could hide in the metal girders.

Trigger pointed his rifle up and fired a shot but Roger had already jumped backwards off the girder and was reeling his line out. He swung past Crater and his men and managed to get up to the control cab and punch the sniper in the jaw. Trigger clutched at his face and Roger used the opportunity to pull him out of the cab and throw him down to the floor twenty feet below.

"Unbelievable," Crater muttered.

Roger then operated the controls to move the electromagnet so that it was hanging right next to the control cab. "Ready?" he asked as he grasped Dorothy's hand. "Here goes!" He deactivated the electromagnet, sending pistols and other weapons clattering to the ground. Fortunately in that brief moment, Roger had managed to pull Dorothy into the doorway of the control cab before her weight pulled his arm out of his socket. "You alright?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," she said.

"Good," Roger nodded as he glanced over her shoulder to see the mobsters legging it to the pile of weapons at the base of the crane. "Dorothy, look at me. Whatever you do, don't look down."

"All right," she said as she looked into his eyes.

Roger was momentarily lost in her unique violet eyes that were so dark they were almost black. He was distracted for only a split second before he hit the release lever to the heavy electromagnet. "Don't look!" he cried as he hugged the android girl. The screams of the men were cut off by a loud metallic 'thud' that drowned out a hideous crunching noise. He let go of Dorothy and looked at her youthful face again. "Are you alright?"

"You asked me that before," she told him.

"Oh yeah, so I did!" he chuckled nervously.

"Dammit, you still haven't won!" Crater shouted. "I've still got Jenny! I—!" he turned and saw the door to the warehouse shut. "Jenny!" he cried as he scuttled out the door after her. "Come back here you little minx! You aren't getting away with this!"

Roger and Dorothy looked out of the control cab at a crowd of angry criminals assembled below them. Some of the guys Roger had knocked down earlier had gotten back up, but fortunately not all of them. Dorothy spoke first. "It looks like every member of Zeke Crater's gang is down there."

"Yeah," Roger nodded, "and I'm getting tired. I don't know if I can take them alone."

"You're not alone."

Roger's mouth became a little 'o', and then he smiled at her. "Ladies first."

"You're such a gentleman," she said before she jumped twenty feet to the base of the crane. She held her hands before her. Roger jumped after her and she caught his feet and pushed him up into the air again. Roger did a somersault in air as he launched himself at the gangsters. Dorothy somersaulted across the ground to close the distance with the criminals. In an instant the battle was joined.


Out on the street, Jenny was trying to hotwire one of the gangster's sedans. "Come on, start!" she squawked. "Why didn't any of them leave their keys in the ignition?"

"Probably because we didn't trust a little tramp like you," Crater's voice said.

"Zeke!" Jenny squeaked before she was pulled out the car. "Zeke! Don't kill me! Please don't kill me! I've got the antidote! I really do!" She reached into her purse and pulled out the syringe. "See? It's right here! Please don't kill me!"

"Why should I believe you?" Crater sneered as much as his immobile face would allow. "It's probably poison knowin' you. Besides it's no good usin' a needle," he said as he released her. "It won't be able ta penetrate my armored hide anyway. Get in the trunk Jenny. When we get home, I'm gonna kill you slow."

"There is one place the needle will penetrate," she said coyly before she plunged the needle into his eye. He shrieked and clutched as his face while his multiple limbs flailed uselessly. "You want the serum, you got it Zeke!" the little mad scientist crowed as she back away. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! Be careful what you wish for Zeke, because you just might get it!"

"Argh!" Crater's face bust open to reveal multiple blisters bubbling on the flesh underneath. "What did you do to me?"

"Heck if I know; my brother made this formula, not I!" she chirped as she continued backing away. "I don't think there is a treatment for what's happening to you. To be honest, I didn't expect you to survive the stuff I gave you last time; I have no idea what this will do to you! Well goodbye Zeke, must dash! Write me and tell me how it all works out!" With that, she turned and trotted into the night as fast as her high heels and hobble skirt would let her.

Crater's shirt bust open to reveal writhing gray tentacles before the rest of his clothing tore open to disgorge more pseudopods. "You—crazy—witch!"


Back in the warehouse Roger and Dorothy were fighting back to back. Although most of the foes Roger had fought earlier were in no condition to fight they had received reinforcements. The negotiator and the android had to close with their enemies in order to make sure that nobody could get a clear shot at them without hitting an ally. Unfortunately with undisciplined punks like these it was only a matter of time before one of them didn't care and started shooting anyway.

The dynamic duo countered their disadvantage by performing acrobatic dancelike maneuvers that served the dual purpose of closing the distance and building momentum to insure the greatest impact when they struck their foes. So far the tactic had been effective. The crowd had thinned so that they were forced to hunt down the stragglers. That also meant that the gangsters who remained standing could fire with impunity.

Roger jumped to propel himself feet first at a mobster. By spreading his legs as he spun through the air he was able to kick his opponent twice before he returned to earth. He used his hand to propel himself off the ground so he could land on his feet and keep moving.

"Roger!" Dorothy cried out as she hurled herself in front of him. A gunshot echoed through the warehouse as a hole appeared in Dorothy's shoulder. The impact knocked her off her feet as she fell spinning into Roger.

"Dorothy!" Roger cried before grunting as the android's weight sent them both to the ground. He found himself sitting on the floor with the wounded android in his arms. "Dorothy! Are you all right? Speak to me!"

"Say your prayers, negotiator!" a gangster with a smoking pistol growled as he pointed it at him.

"Dorothy, I'm sorry!" Roger hugged her as he closed his eyes.

At that moment, the wall burst open and a giant gray tentacle came through in a shower of bricks. The gangsters remaining on their feet screamed and ran away, all thoughts of their prey forgotten.

"Huh?" With his arms around the injured Dorothy, Roger hit a stud on his watch. "Now Big O," he said. "It's showtime!" He pushed Dorothy off him before rising and pulling the robot girl to her feet. "Can you walk?"

"Yes."

"Good 'cause I hope you can run!" he said as he held her hand and started dashing away from the writhing monstrosity that was thrashing its way into the warehouse.

When they got outside they could see the warehouse collapsing behind them to reveal a seething mass of tentacles the size of a house. "What is that?" Roger asked. The creature didn't seem to fit any of the events that had happened so far.

"It reminds me of the creature that Eugene Grant turned Pero into," Dorothy said.

"Grant!" Roger grimaced. "I should've known! I wonder what was really in that syringe that Jenny said contained the 'antidote'."

The ground started shaking before the street erupted to reveal a humungous black and red robot. The robot was an ungainly metal giant towering over fifty feet tall. Two vaguely humanoid legs supported its barrel shaped body. The enormous arms of the megadeus were in reality massive piledrivers with huge mechanical hands instead of chisels. The head of Big O was an impassive face that was dwarfed by the megadeus' humungous body.

As it rose from the ground the black giant held Roger and Dorothy in its cupped hand as its red collar rose to reveal a control room hidden in the chest cavity just below the robot's neck. When they entered the red tinted chamber, Dorothy leaned against the wall and held onto a support girder with her good arm. Roger sat in the cockpit and put his feet into the pedals. He crossed his arms as two curved arms ending in joysticks closed to encircle his chair. A transparent bubble closed to seal him off from the rest of the circular room. At Roger's feet were three circular monitors. The larger center screen displayed a message: "CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD YE NOT GUILTY".

As the surviving gangsters continued to flee the Big O extended its arm towards the roiling monstrosity.

"I don't know whether you're Crater or Grant but either way it's time to put you out of your misery!" Roger announced as he pulled the joystick back along the arm on his right. He let go of the joystick as it disappeared into the arm and was replaced by second one with a basket hilt and trigger. With an animal grunt he brought the joystick back to the front of the curving arm and pulled the trigger.

Big O's forearm split open like a banana to reveal four massive cannons arranged around the robot's fist. With a squeal and a whine the cannons rotated around the megadeus' spinning hand as bolts of lavender energy poured out the cannons in a thundering crescendo of fire. The blasphemous mass that was once Ezekiel Crater burst open in a pulpy mass of nauseating liquid. Soon there was nothing left of the creature but the splattered goo that covered the street.

A bulb flashed on Roger's panel as the rightmost circular screen activated to display the face Norman Burg. "Master Roger, I took the liberty of preparing a late night supper for you. It should be ready in ten minutes."

"Thanks Norman," Roger nodded as he leaned back in the cockpit and breathed a sigh of relief. "Dorothy's been injured, so if you've got time you better prepare the repair bay."

"Everything will be as you order sir," Norman said. "And Miss Dorothy may I be the first to say 'welcome home.'"

Roger looked at the miserable android girl standing next to him. Her clothes were a mess and she had lost her shoes. The back of her blouse was torn open to reveal rent bloodless flesh and punctures in her metal shoulder blades. Her shoulder had a hole in it so her left arm hung loosely at her side. "Are you all right Dorothy?"

The servos in her neck hummed quietly as she turned to face him. "I am now."


On a desk filled with hourglasses a phone rings. Roger's hand picks up the receiver and a sinister voice says:

Next: It's Not Any Fun