Tommy fell to the deck at the powerful shot as I screamed in horror. "NO! TOMMY! Tommy, no!"
I held him in my arms and looked up at the officer who had shot him. He had a look in his eyes that told me he was terrified of what he had just done. I looked back at Tommy and gently stroked his blond curls. Blood poured down the deck from the gunshot wound as more blood came from his mouth from his internal injuries.
When I looked at the officer, I saw that he was holding his gun to his head. Of course, I was angry at him for shooting the person I had such strong feelings for, the first person to ever have a true attraction towards me, but we were going to have enough loss of life. We didn't need to add one more to list of the dead.
"No!" I exclaimed, but I was too late. He shot the gun and fell into the icy water to join the others who were going to die in the watery grave.
For the first time in years, I cried. My hands and my dress got covered in Tommy's blood, but I didn't care. He gave me a weak smile and held my hand. Then his eyes closed, and his body stilled. I held him tightly in my arms and I sobbed my heart out.
Time seemed to slow down around me. As I heard the orchestra begin to play Nearer My God to Thee, I thought about what was happening around me. Right now below me, an old couple was lying on their bed together as the water rushed into the room, treasuring their final moments as husband and wife. A mother was telling a story to her two children to get them to sleep, praying that their death was quick. Little Cora, the girl who considered Jack and I family, was nowhere to be found, and I could only assume the worst. Many, many Third Class members were below me, unable to get up to the lifeboats, and were now drowning as the water filled the bottom of the ship.
In that moment, I realized how much I failed to understand the true horror of this tragedy. Holding a lifeless Tommy in my arms, it hit me how awful and heartless I had been for all of those who had perished on the ship.
"I sorry, mio tesoro," Fabrizio said gently as he touched my shoulder. "Please take life vest."
"No," I answered softly, keeping my tearfilled eyes on Tommy. It seemed so impossible that just a little while ago, he was cracking jokes. Just a little while ago, he was kissing me.
"Per favore, Myndi."
"I will not wear anything with his blood on it!" He looked at me sadly. I finally looked up at him. "You take it. Save yourself."
I helped him take off Tommy's life vest, and he then tied it around himself. Water was quickly rushing up to us and it was now almost at my waist. I knew that if I wanted to survive, I couldn't stay here.
"I'm sorry," I whispered to Tommy. I placed a firm kiss on his forehead, and then I got up and left his body which I can safely say was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. But I had to go where the water had not reached yet. He would want me to at least try to make it out.
The orchestra finished playing their song, and I heard the violinist say, "Gentlemen, it has been a privilege playing with you tonight."
I walked up to where they all were. "Thank you," I said numbly to them.
They all sadly looked at me, surprised from both my appearance and the fact that I was thanking them for playing. After all, no one else had bothered to do so. Who would in the midst of a ship going down?
The water was quickly approaching, but I hoped that they could do one last thing for me. "Could you please play An Irish Blessing?"
The violinist slowly nodded. "Men, An Irish Blessing in C."
They all began to play the song, and I sang the lyrics along in my head:
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
Until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand
And until we meet again
Until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand
I couldn't give Tommy a proper burial, but I felt that the song that I used to hear my mom sing to me when I was little was a perfect way to send him off.
I wasn't able to stay for the whole song as much as I wanted to. I tried to keep tabs on Fabrizio in the hopes that we could both get to safety, or at least make sure that he did. He cut some of the ropes to free the lifeboats and save more people.
Water broke the windows to the Grand Staircase and people started getting swept into the room where they were sure to drown. Fabrizio was among them, but he managed to hang on to the window frame and swim away. He then tried to swim to one of the lifeboats to save himself like I had told him to.
A horrible groaning sound alerted me to one of the smokestacks. The cables holding it up snapped off and with the amount of force they came off and snapped into the water, it had to have decapitated at least one person. The smokestack started falling towards the water. It was hard to see, but I knew Fabrizio was in the water right where it was falling.
"FABRIZIO!" I screamed.
He turned just in time to see the smokestack fall right on him. I flinched in horror as yet another one of my close friends was killed. More tears found their way to my cheeks at the loss of my friend. However, I had barely any time to mourn. Knowing that Jack and Rose would be at the very back of the ship, I fought through the throng of people, my grief causing me to push people quite forcefully out of my way.
People around me were either jumping or falling off the side of the ship into the frigid water below.
I was only wearing my dress because I had never been able to get any other kind of covering, so I was freezing cold. But I didn't even notice because I was so upset about losing Tommy and Fabrizio.
I could feel the ship rising up, and I was started to lose my ground. After a lot of pushing and shoving, I could finally see Jack and Rose clinging onto the railing.
"Jack! Rose!" I called.
"Myndi!" Jack yelled. "Come on! Grab my hand!"
Jack and Rose extended their hands that weren't grasping the railing and pulled me up to them.
"What happened?" Jack asked, noticing the fact that the lower half of my body was soaking wet, I was covered in blood, and I was crying my eyes out.
"Tommy and Fabrizio. They're both dead," I mustered out.
Jack closed his eyes for a second, taking in the fact that his two friends had joined the other poor souls who were not making it off Titanic.
I saw that Helga and her father were next to us, and from the look on her face, I could tell that she understood what I had said. Maybe not exactly, but she grasped the main idea.
As the ship lifted higher and higher, people began sliding down the deck into the water where they were pulled under from the suction. One man climbed over the railing and fell into the water below where he surely died from hitting the water at such a great height. Another man also fell, but hit the propeller on his way down, probably breaking his legs before he hit the water.
"I didn't get it," I said tearfully as I hung onto the railing for dear life.
"Didn't get what?" Jack asked me.
"All of this. I didn't get it. I just didn't understand. How could I have been so heartless?"
I knew that he didn't have the slightest idea what I was talking about, but I was too upset to care. The tragedy that was Titanic was so much worse than I had realized. Why didn't I see that? Why had I been so blind?
Jack held onto Rose as the ship continued to rise up out of the water. Suddenly, all of the lights on the ship went out, and we were enveloped in darkness with the only source of light being the moon up above us.
I heard a loud cracking sound, and I realized that the ship was splitting in half! Once enough of the ship had split, the back half plunged back into the water with a teeth-jarring crash, killing everyone in the water below us. With the two halves of the ship still attached, the back half once again began to lift out of the water.
"We have to move!" Jack yelled.
Knowing what he wanted Rose and I to do, I mustered up as much strength as I could to pull myself on the other side of the railing.
"Come on!" Jack yelled to Rose. "Give me your hand! Give me your hand!" Rose took his hand and started pulling herself over. "I've got you. I won't let go. Come on, I've got you!"
I helped Jack pull Rose up on the railing with us as the ship went straight up in the air.
"What's happening, Jack?" Rose asked.
"I don't know. I don't know!"
By now, the ship was just bobbing like a cork as people slid down the deck. The ones who had been hanging onto the railing were now losing their grip and falling to their deaths, taking several other people with them.
I looked over at Helga who was trying her hardest to hang onto the railing. I was too far away to help her, and she lost her grip. I looked away as she fell the long way down.
Rose looked at me with terror in her eyes. Tears were still flowing down my cheeks from losing Tommy and Fabrizio. Neither of us said anything.
The ship began to sink down into the water again.
"This is it!" Jack yelled. "Hold on!"
I watched in horror as the frigid water got closer and closer to us.
"The ship is going to suck us down. Take a deep breath when I say. Kick for the surface and keep kicking. Do not let go of my hand. Myndi, you do the same. Keep kicking. We're going to make it. Trust me."
"I trust you," Rose yelled.
"I do too!" I cried.
"Ready? Ready? Now!"
I took the biggest breath I possibly could, filling my lungs up with as much air as they would hold, and was sucked beneath the water.
