Getting Tony to eat the cheeseburger was a huge victory for them, considering that the young man didn't even know what food was a few hours ago. Everything about the experience had been positive, even the tears (according to Dr. Muller) were a good sign. They were all very confident that Tony would be willing to eat food on a daily basis.
Unfortunately, that was where the victory ended. Since Tony obviously hadn't eaten in so long, his stomach was not used to food, but he was too scared to stop eating without permission.
At first they didn't notice, they just thought that maybe he was excited for the food. Dr. Muller, however, caught on quickly. He was always observing Tony, after all.
After the first few bites, Tony's hands had started to shake and his face went pale. His chewing was slower, and he cringed with every swallow. The doctor quickly realized what was happening and jumped to stop him.
"Tony, you can stop eating now," He quickly said, before Tony could take another bite, and the brainwashed young man instantly stopped, putting the cheeseburger back on the plate.
Rhodey sent the doctor a slightly angered look, but Bucky understood immediately why he had done what he did. He took the plate away, letting the doctor kneel down in front of Tony.
"Listen to me," Muller ordered,"When you are eating, you are allowed to stop when you are full. In fact, I order you to stop eating when you are full. Do you understand?"
With wide, red rimmed eyes, Tony nodded quickly, and turned to look back at the ground without a word. It was subtle, but someone like Muller was able to tell that Tony was feeling saddened.
The doctor gave a small smile, placing his hand on Tony's head and ruffling the messy hair. "Don't worry, Tony," He said,"You can eat again tomorrow morning, once your food has settled, okay?"
Tony nodded again, seeming to perk up a little bit, much to the doctor's relief. He then grabbed what was left of the food, and headed towards the elevator. Rhodey looked between him and Tony, then leapt up and followed after the doctor.
Bucky watched them both look back at him. He waved them off and said,"Go without me, I'll give Tony some company."
Rhodey gave him a grateful look, and Doctor Muller nodded in agreement just to make sure Tony knew he was okay with it. He was worried about Tony takin any of his words the wrong way, considering the young man very obviously saw Muller as his new Handler.
I don't deserve the name Handler, I don't even deserve to be within 100 miles of him after what I did… But it's impossible right now. He thought sadly. We'll fix that eventually, but for now he needs to have that structure. He thinks he needs a handler, eventually he'll realize otherwise.
But as the elevator went up, Doctor Muller's spirits went down. But… I can only wonder how long it will take for that to actually happen.
As soon as the elevator opened, they were bombarded by the curious, hopeful glances of the many worried Avengers.
Strange… I thought they would have been watching the security feed. Rhodey thought for a split second, and then remember exactly who they had to ask to see the security feed.
He smiled the slightest bit and shook his head. Oh, Friday… He thought fondly. I never would have believed AIs could hold a grudge if it wasn't for Jarvis, and you are helping carry on the grudge legacy. I'm so proud of you.
His smile made the Avengers grow hopeful and courageous, as Wanda softly asked,"Well, did he eat?"
Holding up the plate with the half eaten cheeseburger, Rhodey proudly said,"He ate! He didn't eat much before he started to get sick and Muller had to stop him, but it's a start."
"Any progress is good progress, considering the situation we're dealing with," Scott optimistically said, but his wringing hands betrayed his true nervous emotions.
Steve was the next to speak, as he softly asked,"When can you bring Tony up? He's making progress, you said so yourself. Maybe…."
"No, he can't come up now," Muller firmly said,"Seeing too many new faces at once might freak him out, and he's made the lab his safe space."
"Safe space?" Fury asked,"What do you mean by safe space?"
Muller, thankfully, was willing to explain. "He sees the lab as a place that he can be safe, a space where he can't be hurt, and it's the only place he really knows. He doesn't remember the hospital room, Hydra was never a safe place for him, all he knows is the lab." He explained,"If we force him out of the room, he'll panic and shut down."
Bruce caught on pretty quickly, mainly due to his own experiences. "And even after he gets a little better, we should still let him have the lab as that safe spot," He said,"If he has a place to go where he knows he's safe and alone, he can have time to calm down. If we're always following him and watching him, he won't relax."
"And if we let him come out on his own, he may trust is more," Scott suggested,"Because then he knows he has the freedom to come and go, and that he doesn't have to do anything because he was ordered to."
Dr. Muller nodded in agreement. "Exactly," He agreed. "So for now, leave him be. Let him come out at his own pace, we'll take this one step at a time."
Some of the Avengers still looked a little uncertain, which pissed Fury off even more. Knowing the Avengers and their tendency to act out, he firmly declared,"And my orders to you guys are changing. Nobody here gets to see Tony until you have read through that file and the flash drive. Understand?"
They all jerked towards him with shocked looks. "But- But Sir…" Sam stuttered out,"All that stuff in there… I don't know if I could handle it."
"It's what Tony went through because of what you all did to him," Rhodey sneered, joining the conversation. "If you can't even handle reading about the consequences of your actions, then you shouldn't get to see him. I don't even know if you're guilty about it."
Steve quickly jumped in, a defensive but broken look on his face. "We are sorry, Rhodey," He promised,"Every single damn day we are sorry about what we did."
"Then prove it," The colonel snapped, glaring at Steve with a look that could melt vibranium before he turned and stormed towards the nearby conference room…The very room that held the file they were avoiding.
There was such conviction, such strength in his voice that the Avengers felt they had no choice. They turned and followed after the man into the room, and found him already sitting at one of the chairs expectantly.
Slowly, they filed into the room and sat down, and Natasha sat in front of the file, her hands shaking as she pulled open the cover. She took a deep breath, and then began reading aloud.
"Entry One…"
Asset felt quite relieved when the elevator went up without Bucky. He didn't exactly know why, but he trusted Bucky. Perhaps it was because of their similar circumstances, or maybe it was simply because the fellow super soldier had been kind to him.
As he stared at the older man's smiling face, Asset found that he felt… Confused. Why was Bucky even here? Why did he care so much about Asset? Handler had told him he was just a tool to be used and nothing more, surely handler couldn't be wrong. Handler's word was law, it always was.
He heard a sigh from Bucky, and quickly turned to face him. "I'm kind of glad that they're gone," Bucky admitted,"I like being alone, there's less pressure on what you have to do. Of course, having friends is still important."
Friends… Friends… What did that word mean? Asset didn't think he'd ever heard it before. It didn't sound familiar at all, he felt no emotions from it. He so desperately wanted to ask Bucky what it meant… But he couldn't, he was too scared.
The man looked down at him with a small smile. "You know, Tony, you have tons of friends," He mentioned,"And they missed you a lot, they're glad to have you back."
There it was again… That name. Tony. Why did they keep calling him that? Why were they saying he was Tony? Maybe Dr. Muller didn't tell them his real name? No, Dr. Muller should have… But he also was calling him Tony…
Asset didn't understand, but he wanted to… So very badly. Badly enough that he would do anything...
Bucky, meanwhile, watched the internal conflict on the super soldier's face. He looked so lost and confused, and it took Bucky all his strength to not pull the younger into a hug and comfort him. He knew the torment that Tony was going through, how scary everything must seem…
He sighed and turned away, not wanting to watch the lost look on his face anymore. It mirrored his own expression several years ago, and it left him wondering what he could do to help.
"Wh…" A soft, quiet voice said, sending a jolt of adrenaline through him. Bucky jerked his head back towards Tony, but the sight he was greeted with was not a good one.
Tony's shaking hands were now covering his mouth, his face a pale ivory, and eyes wide with fear. He looked absolutely terrified, and Bucky was starting to figure out why he didn't speak at all.
Those fucking bastards… What did they do to you? He wondered. Nobody should be afraid to speak…
He moved closer to Tony, ignoring the flinch that the young man gave, and softly said,"Tony, it's okay, you can speak. You're allowed to speak here."
His wide eyes looked towards Bucky with a myriad of emotions. He wanted to believe Bucky, that much was obvious, but his mind was poisoned thanks to Hydra. His eyes started to become misty, and he shook his head back and forth with a vigor.
"Tony…" Bucky began, only to freeze a few moments later. He knew it was a lost cause, the young man wouldn't listen to him. Bucky wasn't the one who could tell him what was right or wrong, it was Muller.
But it shouldn't be Muller, it shouldn't be anyone. He thought. Tony, you're your own person, you have the freedom to make your own choices now. I just wish you understood that…
Sadly, he didn't, and Bucky knew that. He also knew that he couldn't expect Tony to completely recover right away. But what he could do was be there for him, whether Tony would talk to him or not.
He sighed and scooted away the slightest bit, giving Tony the extra space he was sure the young man needed, and then quietly said,"Want to hear about my first time eating food again?"
Tony looked up at him, his eyes having reverted to their more emotionless state and hands still covering his mouth, and gave the tiniest nod he had ever seen. It was still a nod, and that's all that Bucky was wanting.
He smiled, letting the young man know that he had seen the agreeing motion, and began to speak,"Believe it or not, it all started in the back alley behind a McDonalds…"
Meanwhile, the Avengers sat at the conference room with pale faces and wide eyes. They had barely made it through the first few entries, which were simply all about how they planned to kidnap Tony.
It had been so well planned out, it's as if they've been planning this for years… Steve thought as he recalled the line in the folder that made him shudder. They said that they simply needed to 'wait for an opening'... I gave them that opening… Oh, Tony…
After a few minutes of silence, Natasha forced herself to continue. "Entry Number Four: Asset was easy to take, he had been left in such a state in that Siberia base that we had no problems picking him up… He remained unconscious until we got him to the base."
Rhodey's flame filled eyes were once again on Steve, glaring at him with a rage that turned the tension up in the room a thousand times more.
Natasha ignored the guilt pooling in her own stomach as she continued,"Entry Number Five: Asset is proving to be more difficult than we believed. Despite the drugs in his system, he has managed to escape his cell three times in one day.
"It is only thanks to the drugs and the shock collar that we managed to subdue him. The plan to inject him with the serum has been postponed until further notice, and he has been put in a stasis chamber to prevent further escape attempts."
When she finished speaking, some of the Avengers were smiling despite the heavy topic. Fury, surprisingly, was smiling fondly along with that. "At least we know that he didn't make it easy for them," He sadly muttered,"That was one thing he was always good at, being a pain in the ass."
Despite the attempted insult, they all heard the sadness in his voice. They lowered their heads back towards the table, some of them wiping tears away as they did so.
"Keep going, Natasha," Clint weakly begged,"I just want this to be over already."
Natasha took a deep breath and nodded. "E-Entry Number Six: The plan has been changed. Giving Tony Stark the serum right now would only lead to him escaping, and likely this time for good. Physical torture is too risky to attempt with his weak body, but we have found other ways to break him down.
"We found files dating back to his days in Afghanistan, and discovered that he was subjected to w- Oh no… Oh no…" Natasha whispered, her voice breaking so badly that she couldn't continue. She dropped the file and buried her face in her hands.
Fury leaned over to read what she had read, and even his face seemed to pale several shades. "Those motherfuckers," He muttered angrily, beginning to pace back and forth. "Those fucking bastards."
He whipped around to face Muller, angrily yelling,"You bastards waterboarded him!? What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
"It was the best way to start to break him down," Muller blankly responded, his eyes empty of any emotion. "By using his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder against him, it would be easier to break him down…. And it worked."
Natasha shakily grabbed the file again, skipping ahead a few pages. "Entry Number Ten: Every day he is waterboarded, and if he rebels too much he is waterboarded. He has stopped fighting us as much. After every session, we ask him what his name is and who he serves. He has started having panic attacks before and during the torture, but he still refuses to give up his identity. While this method has been effective in started to break him down, I think we need to move on."
"Oh god… That wasn't it?" Sam croaked out, looking towards Muller. "What else? What else did you do?"
Muller swallowed down the lump of guilt in his throat and weakly said,"Sensory deprivation, withholding food and water, long periods of isolation, hallucinogenic drugs, basically anything that would break him down further…. None of them broke him… Until we used White Torture."
"White what?" Scott questioned,"What is that? I don't understand…"
Wanda did, though. She rubbed her face and quietly answered,"It's a mix of isolation and sensory deprivation… But it's even worse. The room is white, their clothes are white, everything is white. Hydra has used it before… It's supposed to make the prisoner lose their personal identity."
Muller nodded, agreeing with her explanation. "And it worked too… That was what finally broke him down," He admitted,"I remember everything about that torture…"
It had taken months to finally break Tony Stark down using White Torture. At first, he stayed strong and used methods to beat their attempts to break up.
Using the secret camera, Muller and the Handler watched as Tony would sing random songs or recite things like the periodic table in an attempt to stop himself from going crazy.
At first, The Handler found it quite annoying. He wanted to start shocking the man like they normally did when he was talking, but Muller stopped him.
"The whole point of this torture is to isolate him," He explained,"If you shock him, he'll know someone is watching, he'll feel less alone. If we don't even punish him, he'll lose it even more."
He was right, too. When Tony got no reaction, he started to panic even more. He began trying everything to get anyone's attention or even get punished, simply because it meant he would see another human being.
He would tear at his clothes, scratch at his arms until they bled, and bang against the walls in a desperate attempt to get anyone's attentions. The Handler and Muller watched his downward spiral, never intervening.
The only time they would go into the room as after Tony fell unconscious, then they would inject him with the nutrients he needed and clean up any mess made. Tony would wake up alone, and it would look like nothing had changed.
It took weeks for Tony to finally break, the combination of all his tortures and the extreme isolation finally getting to him. He still lasted longer than they expected, but everyone has their breaking point. The Handler and Muller went into the camera room and saw Tony curled up in the middle of the room, shuddering and sobbing.
In between shaky breaths, they heard whimpering and begging. "Please… Let me out… Let me out.. Please," He begged, continuing to shake with sobs.
"Let's go," The Handler said, standing up and heading towards the White Room. Muller quickly jumped to his feet and hurried after him. They got to the door, the Handler punched in the code, and the door slid open.
By the time it slid open, Tony's wide brown eyes were staring at both of them. They weren't filled with hatred or defiance, instead they were broken, and he actually looked relieved to see them. He crawled over to them, desperately reaching out.
The Handler backed just far enough out of the weak man's reach, and demanded,"What is your name?"
There was no spark of defiance or even a sign of rebellion. The man simply lowered his head in submission, and quietly said,"Asset…"
The Handler grew a sadistic grin on his face as he continued,"Yes, your name is Asset. And who do you serve, Asset?"
"I serve Hydra," The man emotionlessly responded, not moving or daring to look at them. "I serve Hydra and my Handler, Handler is my master."
The man smiled even wider and knelt down, gently petting the man's head. After weeks of extreme isolation, Asset practically melted from the touch. "Good boy, Asset," He praised, and turned his eyes back to Muller. "It's time, we can begin Phase Two now."
Muller nodded with his own dark smile, and headed towards his lab. The Handler turned back to Asset and firmly ordered,"Asset, follow."
And Asset did as he was told.
"Of course, at first he only did those things to avoid more torture, but after he got the super soldier serum we were able to use more serums and The Chair to make what we told him more.. Personal for him," The doctor explained,"And… And that wasn't the last time we used the White Room either…"
At this point, even Natasha looked irate. "It wasn't the last time?! What do you mean?! I thought he was your 'perfect creation'?!" She demanded.
Muller flinched a bit , also surprised by her angry tone, and quietly answered,"Eventually he was… But there were plenty of times that he remembered you guys, or Pepper Potts or Happy. He had a few more escape attempts, and then The Handler got even more violent with him. The Chair, The White Room, and many other methods broke him down and after he went a full year without an incident, that's when he started to do field work."
Clint suddenly jumped to his feet, the chair falling to the ground behind him, but he didn't seem to notice. "I can't do this anymore not today," He weakly said, and hurried out of the room without another word.
The Avengers watched him go and then turned to look at Fury. Their leader looked sick to his stomach, his one eye staring off at nothing in particular. It took him a few seconds to realize that everyone was looking at him, but once he did, he sighed and shook his head. "We're done for today."
He then stormed out of the room in a similar fashion to Clint, and everyone quickly scrambled out after him. Natasha shoved the file away, not caring that it turned off the page they were on, and scurried out as well.
Steve went to follow them, but found himself hesitating as he passed by the file. Whether it as from a morbid curiosity or simply because it was right there, he found himself leaning forward to look at the page. His blue eyes scanned over it, and he stopped at the sight of a certain line.
'Strangely enough, during his time in the White Room, Asset always calls Captain America's name the most… Considering how their last meeting went, I can't help but wonder why…'
The super soldier gasped, his hands going to cover his mouth. Oh… Tony, no… He quickly shoved the file further away, turned his back, and ran away
Away from the truth he didn't want to face.
