1

The boxers are short.

Shorter than the sarong or the towel.

Jane's gleaming flanks make time stand still for Kim and me.

If we were vampires, we'd grow little fangs.

Jane grins and sips his Snapple.

The bastard knew exactly the effect his drumsticks would have on us.

Kim recovers first.

"If there's one thing I won't tolerate, Patrick, it's cheating."

"I'm not cheating, Kim," he says.

"He's not cheating, Kim," I say.

"No matter how hard you try. No matter what you say. No matter how you beg, there is nothing you can do to convince me that you and Teresa aren't fooling around behind my back."

Kim turns her back and folds her arms.

CLICK

Jane turns on the TV.

Kim unfolds her arms and turns back to him in disbelief.

"What?" Jane says. "You said I couldn't convince you. So I'm not."

He sinks onto the couch instantly immersed in "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."

"He doesn't love you, Kim," I say. "And, we're not together. I'm really sorry."

"It's OK," she sighs.

Jane is singing along with the movie mountain man-style. "Bless your beautiful hide, wherever you may be."

Kim rolls her eyes. "I think I just got over him."

I nod at her.

I walk her to the door.

Jane serenades the screen, "We ain't met yet but I'm willin' to bet, you're the gal for me."

"How do you live with this?" she asks.

"I don't know," I answer.

2

I close the door.

There's a curly blond creature in boxers lolling around on my couch.

Gotta be suitable for something.

3

He switches the TV off.

I sit down next to him.

"It was the fastest way to snap her out of it, Lisbon," he says. "And we were out of time."

"Out of time, Jane?"

"Things couldn't keep going the way they were, Lisbon."

"Yeah. Fischer chasing you around and mooning over you and grabbing clothes off you. I couldn't take it either."

"Twelve years," he says.

My mind starts to get tangled in his curls.

Did he say twelve years?

He's not talking about Fischer.

"Things couldn't keep going the way they were, Jane?"

"No Lisbon. And you know why."

I look at him for a long moment.

"I do?"

He nods confidently.

"Think about it, Teresa."

I'm being drawn deep into his aquarium eyes.

I'm bobbing past the kissing gouramis and angel fish.

I find myself floating under an arbor of branch coral.

The little diver near the treasure chest motions me to turn back.

He looks a bit like Cho.

But I've already drifted past the gates of the castle to recline among the pearls in the oyster bed.

Wait.

I'm reclining?

Jane has arranged me to his liking on the couch.

His liking seems to be on my back with my blouse unbuttoned and my bra askew.

I know now why things couldn't go on any longer with Kim.

Why he had to piss her off and make her leave immediately.

"Things couldn't keep going the way they were, could they Jane?"

"I was out of options, Lisbon."

His lips graze my jaw and meander down my neck.

"There's nothing under the boxers, is there, Jane?"

"I could have sworn there was a Speedo somewhere in my dresser, Lisbon. But no dice. This was my last layer."

"I see. So the timing worked out for you, Jane?"

"I believe it did."

"I kind of hate you, " I say.

"You'll get over it."