You find yourself in a room. The walls are painted a peaceful blue with deep mahogany forming the floorboards beneath your feet. An ebony four-poster bed sits in the centre of one wall - to your left - opposite the room's door, with dark sapphire sheets atop a very comfy looking mattress. The clinking of chains behind you makes you turn to see the muse, sat a ebony desk, writing with the swiftness of inspiration and no forced speed of desperation. She's clad in a clean, new, midnight blue dress with wide, medieval sleeves and -so far as you can tell- a full floor length skirt, her long fiery red hair is swept into a ponytail and wrapped around a hair pin that's pushed through the hair tie.
She pauses, looks to you and smiles before returning to her work, the jerking movement of her hand as she writes causing the shackles on her wrists to clink as you heard before. The chains are long, laying limply along the ground to their fixings on another wall, a few large coils of unmoved links beneath the fixings.
Your author beckons you from the doorway, drawing you away from the muse that she may inspire in peace...
Okies, my thanks to JNipper and tartanarmygirl for reviews. Have cookies.
Warnings: 'Kuko Uber Babble Torture, wolves, big cats, girly shrieks from guys, a scene which should only exist if you've taken a load of weird rugs, blood and gore, swearing, starving cats, and probably some other stuff I can't be bothered to remember.
Disclaimer: My claim to ownership of Half Prince is still floating around in the electronics somewhere, I'm sure I'll be rich enough to own it one day...
Do not ask me what I was on when I wrote a specific paragraph. It's near the beginning, you should know it when you see it.
Also spot the 'Ratatouille' reference. I've only seen the film once, in German with subtitles, about 6 years ago - don't ask how I remember this shit
Chapter 10 - Cat Hearts and Skeleton Bows
'Ahh, Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dum, can you translate for me I want to talk to Chii, ok, what's your favourite fish? I like tuna but any fish is good, what's Momo like as a person? Are you related? What's your cup size? Are you wearing pretty underwear? Can I see?...'
"No! Stop. 'Kuko, there's no way I'm translating that for you. You can't ask people such things." Tweedle Dum stopped, looking embarrassed as he felt the curious/suspicious looks being aimed at him by the rest of the team.
"Erm, well, never-mind. That gem to improve melee weapons comes from a boss in the jungle just south of here, let's move on shall we?" Tweedle Dum laughed (*cough*giggled*cough*) nervously and sped off down the road out of Moon City, leaving 'Kuko blinking at his dust trail from her seat on the outer city wall. The cat-demon grumbled incoherently, dropping down onto her owner's shoulder as the team departed to catch up to the fleeing ninja before he got himself into trouble.
They failed.
Tweedle Dee was the first to reach his brother, only to find him hiding in a tree as a pack of ravenous Dire Wolves prowled below him, occasionally jumping up to snap at his feet.
The archer quickly pulled their attention away from Dum, drawing them towards himself and into the range of the mage close behind. Venven recited a spell that froze the wolves' paws to the ground while Juuri jumped at the nearest one, felling it in a rapid flurry of blows... Falling to the ground unconscious moments later with 'Kuko settling in his hair, pulling it into a comfy nest around her, purring all the while.
Dracomortis ordered his hastily summoned skeletons into the fray, slowly dwindling the trapped Dire Wolves down to three with assistance from Dee's arrows and Dum's sneak attacks - once he finally extracted himself from the tree, that is. The final three were encased in ice by Venven then shattered by three well placed exploding arrows from Dee.
Cue long repetitive lecture from Venven and a whack on the head from Dracomortis for Tweedle Dum.
That business concluded, he team returned to its original objective. Juuri was roused and as penance for fainting - again - he was forbidden from moving 'Kuko or complaining about her presence.
Dee straightened their course - Dum had ended up fleeing south west rather than due south - and they swiftly walked on. Tweedle Dum was practically skipping due to the lack of babble while 'Kuko was snoozing happily on Juuri's head - it was an exceedingly bizarre sight to see, a long-limbed ninja skipping down a forest path, the sort of sight that makes you think there should be fairies flying around him and that you should take a blood test to see what weird hallucinogenic was slipping into your food/drink.
Gradually the weak mobs they tore through - Venven decided to blindfold Juuri to prevent unconsciousness while 'Kuko steered by tugging on hair at either side of his head to make him turn - changed from wolves, dire wolves and other canine beasts/demons into felines, Jaguars, Leopards, Lions, Tigers, normal ones, giant ones and demons in such forms.
As they trekked deeper into the jungle, the beasts got stronger, fewer ordinary beasts and more giant(Dire) forms and demons. the group survived well with Venven freezing their opponents to the ground to be easy pickings for Dee's arrows or Dum's sneak attacks - his creepily happy state had calmed enough that the others had stopped pinching themselves to check whether this was really reality - ignoring the fact said reality is virtual anyway.
They suddenly stumbled into a suspiciously empty clearing. They hurriedly got into a circle formation, Juuri still blindfolded in the middle, as Venven cast her 'Ie Trap' spell, which would freeze enemies to the ground if they entered the area fifteen feet around the players. Tweedle Dee kept his eyes on the upper canopy of the area, watching for any sneaking felines in the high branches. Dracomortis started an incantation to raise his undead minions and Zhiliao Shi readied herself to heal anyone at a moment's notice.
About twenty pairs of glowing red eyes betrayed the presence of the demon leopards that gathered on the ground and in the trees around the clearing, loud thumping announcing the approach of something much larger.
Five fireskulls rose from the ground, launching themselves at the nearest enemy demons and signalling the beginning of the battle. The fireskulls averaged at taking out two demons before falling themselves, halving the oncoming fore before the players really got involved.
As the remaining demons closed in, Venven's 'Ice Trap' activated, ice enclosing their feet and rooting them in place, though the few that approached from above were beyond the spell's influence.
Tweedle Dee fired exploding arrows at the demons above, knocking them off their perches and blinding them. The demons fell into Venven's trap where they were set upon by Tweedle Dum and fired at by Dee and Dracomortis with the occasional blue fireball tossed in by 'Kuko - when she could be bothered.
As the last demon fell, the ground trembled violently as a huge furred paw crashed through one of the surrounding trees. The giant Leopard Demon Boss Leopard's Champion growled fiercely at the intruders in its domain, smashing a huge paw into the ground where Tweedle Dum had stood moment before. Ice creeped up, over the creature's paw, but its colossal strength tore though the ice as if it were mere water, a slight hindrance to one so large.
'Ooo, a big kitty cat, Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dum, go scratch him behind the ears like you do to me, see if he purrs, though he might bite your hand off instead but that doesn't matter, go try, go try...' 'Kuko was positively bouncing in her spot in Juuri's hair, and you could see how much he wanted to complain but feared the consequences more than stopping her was worth.
"Are you mad, Cat? No way am I going near that thing until it's at least half dead. Sating your curiosity is not worth my hands!"
The leopard demon glared at the ninja harshly, as if the boy had committed some heinous crime by refusing to obey a command given by a fellow feline. The moment passed and Dum gave a rather girly shriek as he was almost hit by the boss' paw again.
The ninja grumbled unhappily as the laughter of two felines was directed at him, infinitely grateful to Dracomortis when he provided a distraction in the form of fireskulls attacking the boss.
Venven shot an amused look at Dum before adding her spells to the battle, causing him to grumble once more as he took out his annoyance on the leopard - knowing he could never do anything to 'Kuko in revenge, though not the brightest of sparks, he wasn't that stupid.
Chii was kept busy healing Dum and the fireskulls as much as possible so the leopard wouldn't reach the more squishy team members surrounding Juuri.
Ten minutes of intense battle later, Tweedle Dee fired the finishing blow, a critical head-shot. The huge leopard keeled over, falling to the ground face first.
"Ok Juuri, it's your prize, you get to do the honours." Venven untied the warrior's blindfold and gestured to the body.
"Er, what?" Juuri looked at the corpse with a mixture of horror and confusion, the confusion made more prominent with the feline giggling on his head.
"The gem to increase your damage is this boss' heart, so go get it." Venven's voice was far too cheerful for the words that came out, leaving the pink-head looking rather green. He just shook his head - gently - and backed away from the leopard. Though in his defence - rare though such a phrase will be used - the rest of the team, except Draco, weren't much better. The ice-mage sighed, muttering about wusses and that men shouldn't be so squeamish, and stepped forward herself, releasing a little sadistic glee as she plunged her hand into the leopard's chest, grabbing hold of the heart and yanking it out in a spray of blood, cackling as she did so . Cue fainting warrior, inquiring comments from Chii - Draco had covered her eyes before she could see the display -, unhappy grumbling from a dislodged cat and slightly green looking twins. Draco was the only member who appeared unaffected besides Venven herself.
The mage, in no mood to wait for awakenings, filled a bucket - don't ask where it came from - with icy water from a nearby stream and dumped it over Juuri's head. The moment he was conscious, Venven pressed the bloody gem into his hand, her look daring him to faint again. Juuri gulping and, without looking any more than necessary, equipped the gem onto his right-hand blade.
It was soon after that, that Venven was contacted by Prince, somewhat out of the blue.
'Hey Skye, how've you been?'
'Not too bad, what about you, Prince? And congrats on winning the tournament, how's your city doing' The team was taking a well earned - at least on all bar Juuri's part - break in a pub, so were content to leave Venven to her chat.
'Thanks, I'm good, as is the city, though we'll lose our NPC guards and safety fairly soon. That's kinda why I called, would your team be interested in joining Infinite City?'
'We've got some things planned for the next week or so but after that we'd be happy to come, the others won't object.' Prince could imagine the look that would be daring anyone to object to her decision, never mind the fact they probably wouldn't even know what she had agreed to.
'Great, it'll be good to see you again, though I'm curious, has that cat of yours driven your team mad yet?'
'Ah, only one, she doesn't really talk around the others but our ninja was cursed by a lich to understand the words of animals, so she bugs him to make up for not being able to babble at everyone. I save him just enough to stop him from breaking down completely though.' After such a short meeting before, Prince seemed really good at picturing the mage's expressions as he now imagined the evil grin that would be playing across her features.
'I'm surprised you could persuade her not to talk, she doesn't seem like the type to stay quiet for long.'
'Bribery is a wonderful thing and 'Kuko will do anything for fish.' There was another evil grin, he could tell.
'Well, I've got to talk to other people, see if they'll join, I'll see you in a week or so, ok?'
'Yeah, see you then.'
The last hour of that night's time was spent relaxing and chatting - after Venven shared the plan of going to Infinite City once they'd finished their equipment improvements - while Venven secretly plotted with Tweedle Dee on how to cure Juuri of his aversion to blood.
The next few day were spent, again, on curing - or at least reducing - Juuri's habit of fainting at the sight of blood. As secretly planned the day before - without going into too much detail - this consisted of slaughtering vast numbers of creatures, thereby increasing everyone's levels fairly rapidly as well, and Venven using a water spell to wake Juuri up when he fainted.
By the end, Juuri didn't faint the instant he saw blood. Too much or his own and he was still gone, but it was still a vast improvement to his previous state, though it did leave everyone wondering why he had become a warrior in the first place.
So now we, yet again, put Tweedle Dum's information gathering skills to the test. This time there was - supposedly - a rather powerful bow as a rare drop from high level skeleton archers in a cave on the eastern coast of the central continent. The journey there managed to pass without mishap this time, though Tweedle Dum was back on 'cat perch' duty, therefore suffering the Uber Babble Torture and unable to get into trouble.
'Tweedle Duuuum... I'm hungryyyyy... Get me fiiish... Pleeeease, I'll love you forever, I'll even stop talking for the rest of the day and I'll sit on someone else as well, please please please pleeeeease, I'll stop calling you Tweedle Dum for a week, I'm dying here, I'll be the first cat here to die of starvation, please Dumu, don't you have some fish somewhere? The dream from my nap earlier has made me so hungry, pleeeease...' All the while 'Kuko was pawing at the ninja's head and the pitiful mewling that everyone else heard was slowly driving them mad, except for Venven - who was well used to 'Kuko babble even though at this point she couldn't understand it - and Chii, who felt only pity for the poor creature making such desperate sounds.
Dum didn't even try to explain he had no fish, most likely the wailing kitty wouldn't even hear him if he did . For a change, Venven ended up being a lifesaver instead of an extra tormentor, as she retrieved her pet - who had moved on from the extra-loud wailing back to quieter begging - and passed her a large tuna.
"How did you know what she wanted? I never said anything." Tweedle Dum looked at the mage in joy, disbelief and a slight hint of awe.
"I know her well enough by now that when she's begging that fervently, she'll be wanting food, most typically fish." The awed look continued at the incredible sight of Venven holding her arm out, cat balanced on the arm, eating the fish that rested on the mage's palm, without any jostling from her steps. Even more incredible was Venven's ability to maintain this position for a good half hour, replacing the fish as necessary, while they travelled to the east coast. Thankfully they had a safe path to travel on for the majority of the journey, 'Kuko moving to drape herself around Venven's neck and sleep once she'd eaten enough and the mage would need her hand back to fight mobs.
The first room in the cave was easy to fight through, full of weak skeletal warriors. The next was harder though still not remotely difficult, a mix of warriors and archers of pretty low level. The rooms increased in difficulty the further in they went, undead mages and necromancers joining the mix, until they were finally deep enough to find the higher level archers, scattered throughout the next few rooms and accompanied by various other classes in different rooms.
Juuri was finally in his element, proving his worth as a warrior as he tore through the undead troops, unhindered by his aversion due to the lack of flesh - and therefore blood - on his foes. A speed, before unseen, was unveiled as his twin blades shattered warriors' shields and bone.
'Kuko finally woke - having slept through all the other battles - and chucked blue flames at the archers, forming a magic-permeable barrier around Juuri so the swords and arrows couldn't reach him. Venven cast an environment spell 'Winter', lowering the temperature to below freezing to make the skeletons' bones more brittle, thus reducing their hit points.
Dracomortis spammed his 'Control Undead' spell, turning their opponents against each other and simply targeting a new skeleton when one was destroyed.
Chii kept healing the little damage Juuri took, or any received by the others from an occasional stray foe that ignored the warrior, while the twins sniped/sneak attacked enemies at the edges of the room.
It was a good hour later that the large room was cleared and everyone checked their inventories to see if they'd received the rare drop they came for.
As everyone replied negatively they moved into the hallway to wait for the foes to respawn and repeated. It took another two hours to finally find the damn thing which everyone was somewhat peeved about, though it was countered by the huge EXP gain and gold dropped. Though it seemed rather irritatingly ironic/good that they had actually ended up with two from the last room clearing. Venven took the second to sell for a decent price to someone who couldn't be bothered to fight for so long for it or was too low level to do so without dying, the profit was passed over to Tweedle Dee who had taken over as money keeper after Yu Lian left, being the most level headed the greatest percentage of the time.
And done, yays.
Please leave a review as you exit the Memory Palace, there's a box just below you if you would be so kind.
And I'll love you and leave you 'cos it's almost 1 in the morning, I'm tired and would rather like to sleep about now.
Your knackered-but-writing-anyway-cos-this-things-been-waiting-to-be-typed-up-for-a-week-already-and-I-should-have-done-it-earlier-and-still-being-mauled-by-over-active-kittens author
Kouseki
