SM Owns E & B and crew but I own the rest!

Thanks to OwnedByTwins for the beta'ing! Means a lot to me!

ALL

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lola yelled at me. I thought she would be happy I got Jasper to let us date.

"I thought I was helping! I thought you wanted to be with me!" I yelled back. "I mean you do want to be with me, right?" I clarified.

"Yes, more than anything," Lola exclaimed, throwing up her arms.

"I don't get it. Girls are so confusing. You want to be with me, but you are mad that I took the necessary steps to make that possible...I don't fuckin' understand!" I mimicked her by throwing up my arms.

"Gabe, I just...I didn't want to get too serious," she tried to explain, lowering her voice.

"Lola, I gave up my best friend to be with you, what did you expect would happen between us?" I asked her.

"I told you not to pick me! I told you it was okay!" Lola argued back.

I walked up to her slowly, placing my hand on her cheek. She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes, as I gently wiped a tear off with the pad of my thumb. "Something else is going on with you, please tell me." I practically begged her. This was not the same girl that had told me to mean it several weeks ago.

"Gabe...I'm sick...like, really sick," Lola said softly, before pulling out of my grasp. Confusion washed over my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'm not anemic or whatever, Gabe. God! I wish I were. I wish it were that trivial," she said, wiping more tears away with the back of her hand.

"It can't be…" I began to say that bad, before she interrupted me.

"No, Gabe. It can be. I wanted to wait for my mom to come home to do the last test. I had to have a bone marrow aspiration, and it came back showing that I have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Acute - it doesn't mean small and cute! It means it spreads fast! That's why I keep bruising. Why I am so tired. I don't have enough Red blood cells, and my blood isn't clotting right. They tell me I have a ton of immature white blood cells...they are crowding out the blood cells I need to like carry oxygen, to clot when I get a paper cut, or hell, even to be able to fight infections!" Lola cried.

Did Lola just tell me she had cancer? Holy shit. I started to hug her, and she pushed me away.

"Don't do that," I urged her. "Don't push me away. Please, not now." I went to go hug her again, and she collapsed in my arms, sobbing. "It will be okay, you can get better, I am not going anywhere," I tried to calm myself as I attempted to calm her.

"No, Gabe, it won't be okay. I'm going to lose my hair, and feel like crap, and I still might die!"

"Don't talk like that!" I said, holding her shoulders as I stared into her eyes, which were swimming in tears.

"You shouldn't bother with me, Gabe! You have a baby on the way; you shouldn't be bogged down by this. You shouldn't fall in love with me, Gabe. It's just going to bring a bunch of pain. You're not going to want a bald girlfriend," Lo said, looking away from my gaze.

"Are you serious? Lola, I am already falling in love with you! I can't just turn that off! You think I care if you lose your hair? God! I don't care if you had to lose your legs if it meant you got to live!" I tried not to yell at her, but I needed her to know how serious I was.

"Gabe, please! I can't do this now! If I don't stop this now...that just means I stand to lose more. I can't stand the thought of losing more! I can't, please, I can't do it."

"Are you...breaking up with me?" I asked.

"I have to...you should be happy, Gabe. You should be happy. You should focus on Evie and your baby, and not on me. I should focus on my treatments...I'd better go," Lola said, placing a peck on my cheek.

Is she kidding me? I stood shocked at what she was saying. I was so shocked I could only stand and watch her as she walked away. By the time I got my bearings she was out the door. I ran to it, struggling to open it, in a frenzy to stop her.

"LO!" I yelled as I opened my front door. My mom was outside, having just come back from her daily jog.

"Bella, can you give me a ride home?" Lola asked, ignoring me.

"Sure, is everything okay?" my mom asked, concerned.

"I can take you home, Lo," I interjected.

"Bella, I have to go home, please," Lola said, not even looking at me.

"Let me get my keys, sweetie," Mom told her, "the door to the car is open, you can wait in there if you want, just give me a sec."

"Thanks," Lola said, making her way to my mom's car. She didn't look at me. She didn't tell me to shut up. God, even if she told me to shut up or to shove the ride up my ass would have been better then her ignoring me.

"Gabe, come in with me," my mom motioned with her index finger to follow her. As she opened the door she began to speak again, "What's going on with you and Lola?"

"Did you know? Did you know she has cancer?" I asked.

"We can talk about it when I get back," she told me, kissing my cheek. Was a kiss on the cheek supposed to comfort me? Because it didn't.

Did Lola honestly think my life would be easier without her? Did she really fucking think that letting go of her would be easier than having to deal with chemo? What hurt me the most was that she was pushing me away.

I jogged up to my bedroom and flipped open my laptop. I wanted to find out everything I could about this cancer. What the hell did she call it? Acute Lympho-shit. I don't know. The search bar was smart and it saw what I was looking for; there it was in the drop down box Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

And I looked for prognosis, and of course all it says is that it can only be determined on a case by case basis. Damn! I just wanted information. I felt so many emotions, but right now I was mostly pissed. Angry. Why the fuck would this happen to Lola?

Screw this. I wasn't going to let her push me away. I grabbed my car keys and made a mad dash for my car. My wheels screeched as I tore out of the driveway, leaving a trail of smoke in my wake.

I made it to Lola's house on the Winchester Golf Course; hers was the biggest at the end of one of the cul-de-sacs. I jumped out of the car and ran to her door, ringing the doorbell several times before Jasper finally pulled it open.

"I need to see her, please, Jazz," I begged, trying to catch my breath.

"Gabe, she isn't feeling up to it right now." Jasper said. He stepped outside and pulled the door shut as I tried to see inside.

"Is this why you said okay? Because you knew it wouldn't really matter?" I asked him.

"No. I said yes because I want Lola to be happy. To live normally, and if that means having a boy that cares about her the way you do, I'd say a dad couldn't ask for better. I had no idea Lola would push you away," Jasper informed me. "Maybe you should just let go, Gabe. I don't want to see her upset."

"As textbook healthy as the letting go theory sounds... It doesn't apply to me. This isn't a case of teen romance gone sour; I know what I want... and I want her. She's really hurting right now. And whether she knows it or not, she needs me - so I have absolutely no intention of letting her go. So please, let me see her," I begged.

Jasper stood tense, deep in thought for several long seconds before he conceded.

"Fine, let's go in," Jasper told me. He opened the door and led me to where Lola was shooting hoops out back. She threw the ball up, caught it on the first bounce back, and shot again. She did it methodically. I wasn't sure if she was ignoring me or was just that lost in her thoughts.

"Hey," I finally said. She didn't turn her head to look at me; she just continued to throw, catch and throw again.

"What are you doing here?" she finally asked, tucking the ball under her arm.

"You know, for a bright girl, you can be really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came here? I came here to be with you! It's as simple as that. I mean, when you like somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you. Or don't, as the case may be."

"I just think it would be easier for both of us if we ended this; why won't you accept that as my choice? I just regret the whole thing," Lola sighed.

"You regret us? Because I don't. I couldn't. And I don't accept your choice. Because the fact is that I don't regret falling in love with you. Sure, it's been tough. Dealing with Naomi, then your dad, and now you're sick. But then I think about everything that that kiss has brought into my life. What it was like to look at you and know not just what you were thinking, but also what you were feeling because I was feeling the same thing, and that tells me that it's worth it. You are worth it. It's… worth all the pain that I'm going through. Kissing you, it was the smartest decision I ever made. I'm not going to let you push me away. My heart is already far too wrapped up in yours to even have walking away be an option."

"Gabe, God, you know you should have really looked before you fell." Lola smiled at me. "I can't push you away. That was my best effort and already you cracked me. I have no resolve when it comes to you, especially when it comes to staying away from you. Why couldn't you just be the asshole who takes the easy way out?"

"Thank fucking god," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I'm not an asshole. There is no easy way out."

"I have to go into the hospital tomorrow. I am getting a portacath inserted right here," Lola said pointing to a spot below her collar bone. "For chemo, I guess it will be easier then sticking me with IV's for the next two years… at least," Lola said. I could see she felt numb.

"Fine, I'll be there with you, waiting for you," I told her.

"Gabe, you can't miss school, it's too important." Lola tried to argue.

"Not nearly as important as you," I told her.

"Gabe, my mom and dad will be there, really. Just come after school. Before then I will just be in surgery, don't screw up anything. You have a baby to think about."

"Fine," I conceded. Because she was right. I couldn't screw up.

"I don't want to talk about it much, I want to just keep living around it, and I think my boyfriend owes me a date," Lola smiled.

I smiled back at her before kissing her lips, and running my hands through her hair. "What do you want to do? Dinner? Movie? Bowling?" I suggested a few things for our date.

"Actually, I am really drained, I was hoping for something more low key. Like you, me, a bowl of popcorn, and some Harry Potter on my couch," Lola said, batting her eyelashes.

"As long as I am with you, it works for me," I said, following Lo into her living room. I told Lola to sit down and pushed in the Harry Potter DVD.

"Can you grab that blanket? I'm freezing," Lola stated. I grabbed the fleece blanket and draped it across her, placing a kiss on her head.

"I'll get the popcorn," I told her. I walked to her kitchen and saw Alice. She smiled warmly at me and handed me a bowl of popcorn. Sometimes, my mom says she swears Alice is psychic. I wonder if that is why she was so hell bent on getting Lola to the doctor with a simple symptom of being tired.

"Thank you, Gabe. For being there for Lola. It's really important that she has everyone she cares about support her. You are a good boy," she told me with a hug.

"Can't imagine being anywhere else," I said sincerely to Alice.

I walked back to Lola and took a seat on the couch next to her. She took the popcorn in her lap and snuggled into my chest. It wasn't long until she was fast asleep. I didn't care for Harry Potter, but I stayed and let her sleep in my arms until the movie ended.

Three months ago, my life had been completely different. I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. I got drunk on a weekly basis. Lived and breathed basketball, sex, and music. And now. Fuck. I had a baby on the way, and was in love with a girl who had cancer.

The next day I drove to the hospital right after school. Which had been a complete waste of time. I didn't learn anything new. It didn't challenge me. I could get A's in my sleep.

I had stopped at the store and picked up some flowers for Lola. I mean, that's what you do when people you care about are in the hospital, right, bring flowers? It wasn't big, just a few daisies. They looked cheerful. That was the point to cheer people up, right?

I was clueless. But I was trying. I stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor, and stopped at the nurse's desk to double check her room number.

"Lola Hale is in room four-fifty-four, correct?" I asked, leaning on the counter.

"Yes, but you can't bring those flowers in her room. I'm sorry," the nurse informed me.

"Why not?" I asked, completely confused. People brought flowers all the time. I wanted to bring my girlfriend flowers to cheer her the fuck up.

"Ms. Hale is at a high risk for infection. She is on reverse contact precautions to prevent infections. No fresh flowers or fruits are allowed in her room. They may carry germs that could cause her a very bad infection," she informed me, coming out of the nurse's station. "Follow me, please."

I walked behind her, trying to keep up when she stopped outside of Lola's room. There was a huge cart sitting outside the room with a sign that read "Neutropenic Precautions." The nurse began opening up drawers and taking out supplies.

"Whenever Lola is in here, and her white count is low, we have to keep her protected from us. She doesn't have what she needs to fight simple infections and they could be detrimental to her. It's also especially important right now, because she just had surgery and has an open wound that could also get easily infected. You need to wear this gown," she said, opening the package and showing me how to put it on. "You need to wash your hands," she said pointing to the antibacterial hand sanitizer on the wall. I pumped some out on my hands before she handed me gloves. "And a mask. Lots of germs spray when you talk or breathe," she finished as I secured the mask. "Just leave the flowers out here, I am sure her parents can take them home when one of them leaves," the nurse finished.

I took in my appearance. I looked like a freak. And on top of that I was going in empty handed. I wouldn't be able to kiss her, or feel her skin on mine. Nothing. I hoped I could comfort her by just being in the room because that is about all I could do. I walked into the room and hoped she could see the smile I returned even though it was hidden by the mask. Hopefully my eyes smiled at her.

"Hey," I said, sitting in the chair next to her bed. I leaned over the rail and kissed her forehead through the mask. It's the thought that counts, right?

She picked up my gloved hand and held it in hers, not seeming to care about the latex barrier that blocked me from feeling her skin against mine.

She laughed weakly at the cockblocking outfit I had to wear. I shook my head, happy she was in such good spirits.

"My Mom and Dad went to the cafeteria; they were hungry, are you hungry? I am sure they will bring you something up," Lola said, grabbing her cell phone from the bedside table.

"No, I am not hungry," I said. "I brought you flowers. I didn't know you couldn't have them," I told her.

"That was really thoughtful, thanks so much," Lola smiled. "Take that stupid mask off and kiss me right," Lola smiled.

I shook my head no. "No way, your health is way too important to risk. We have plenty of time to kiss," I told her, bringing her hand to my mouth and kissing the back of it.

"How is Evie? Does she feel okay?" Lola asked, changing the subject.

"She is fine. You don't have to worry about how she feels, silly girl." It was only one more thing I loved about Lola. She never forgot anyone else's feelings, even when she was recovering from surgery and about to start a wicked dose of chemo that would make her sick and lose her hair.

"It's not silly. She is having your baby. I want everything to go perfectly for the three of you," she retorted.

"The baby is good. Evie is good. She has a tiny bump… is this really what you want to talk about?" I asked, a little stunned.

"Yes!" she demanded.

"Fine!" I said, putting my hands up in surrender. "Ah, that's all though. It's really uneventful," I told her. "When will you go home?" I asked.

"A few days. They are going to start the chemo tomorrow. And then monitor me, then the next chemo treatments I can do outpatient, and throw up a lot," she said, trying to act like it wasn't bothering her.

"Then I will be here to hold your hair back," I said, tucking a piece of black hair behind her ear.

"Sure, whatever hair I have left," she said. Her tone was acidic.

Fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was remind her of that. I needed to think things through before I opened my mouth. "I'm sorry," I said.

"I know; me too," she said, turning her attention to the TV.

I sat back in the chair, feeling shitty about saying the wrong thing, and watched with her as the awkward silence swallowed us whole.

A lot of you saw this coming...So it's here and how pissed are you at me? All my stories are going into HF at the same time it seems!